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Author Topic:   Should I just give up on having children?
93nov
Knowflake

Posts: 153
From:
Registered: Oct 2019

posted October 30, 2022 03:17 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for 93nov     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Good afternoon everyone.

I will be 29 years old on Nov 11th. I have never been pregnant or had any abortions. I have never actually tried to conceive. The last partner I had was the only person I would've ever considered going there with and we always used the pullout method.

Most of the women and men in my city my age have children now. 2+. I have none and don't see any in the near future because I would need a long term partner for that.

I am going through my Saturn return and my view on my life and life in general has just been very depressing and nihilistic.. true to Saturn fashion.

Anyway, I was hoping someone could take a look at my natal chart/ transits and see if there's any major indicators of never conceiving.

I do not know how to post charts anymore. Photobucket was my go-to.

Nov 11, 1993
New Hyde Park, NY
5:00pm (on birth certificate).

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Aries23Degrees
Knowflake

Posts: 9869
From: South Africa
Registered: Dec 2012

posted October 30, 2022 04:11 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aries23Degrees     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I have never run a race. I haven't even tried . I do sign up for them, but never show up for the main event.

I look at others running races and I dont know that I have the wherewithal to run with them because perhaps I am too old. I guess I should just give up on ever running a race then huh?

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Dons2angelss
Knowflake

Posts: 1121
From: Virginia, US
Registered: Jan 2019

posted October 30, 2022 10:02 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dons2angelss     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I know plenty of women who had children later. My co worker has 2 kids under 5 and she's 43. You have 15 good years at least to have a child. That's more than enough time to date, get married, buy a home, have a kid. Hell, my own mother had me (the oldest) at 24 and had my youngest sibling at age 40.

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vansio
Knowflake

Posts: 2452
From: the outskirts of Delphi
Registered: Dec 2017

posted October 31, 2022 09:47 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for vansio     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Dons2angelss:
You have 15 good years at least to have a child.

Came here to say this..

If you would like to raise a child someday, perhaps it’s not the time to give up, rather start preparing. Become the parent you would like to be see in the world—in mind body and soul.

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93nov
Knowflake

Posts: 153
From:
Registered: Oct 2019

posted November 06, 2022 08:20 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for 93nov     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
I have never run a race. I haven't even tried . I do sign up for them, but never show up for the main event.

I look at others running races and I dont know that I have the wherewithal to run with them because perhaps I am too old. I guess I should just give up on ever running a race then huh?


Well when you put it like that.. lol.

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93nov
Knowflake

Posts: 153
From:
Registered: Oct 2019

posted November 06, 2022 08:27 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for 93nov     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Dons2angelss:
I know plenty of women who had children later. My co worker has 2 kids under 5 and she's 43. You have 15 good years at least to have a child. That's more than enough time to date, get married, buy a home, have a kid. Hell, my own mother had me (the oldest) at 24 and had my youngest sibling at age 40.

I appreciate the encouraging words. Thank you. I have good days and bad days when thinking about the topic sighs. Yeah a few women in my family had similar journeys. Transit Pluto will eventually square my Venus within the next few years so I'm pretty sure there will be some sort of adjustment I will have to make later on down the line.. which could possibly lead to having a child. It just seems so far fetched being that the dating world is so trash nowadays. I'm very picky and don't really align with a lot of today's values. Most people wouldn't have an issue with their partner having a child before them, especially at my age. I have always imagined myself starting my own family..

Thinking about little things like that is what has me concerned.

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93nov
Knowflake

Posts: 153
From:
Registered: Oct 2019

posted November 06, 2022 08:36 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for 93nov     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Growing up with at least one parent with NPD never allowed me to develop my own life/ interests outside of him. Fast-forward at almost 29 years old, I feel like a new born baby all over again. Completely lost with no center. My father WAS my 'center' unfortunately, until I figured him out. See where this is going?


My moon is pretty isolated, only receiving contact from Saturn, Uranus, and Neptune. There's a loose conjunction to Jupiter, but that might be overshadowed by the jupiter conjunction to my stellium as a whole.. I see it play out in my every day life too. There's no color, no joy, no creativity. Just the usual mundane. I don't even do my hair or get dressed anymore.

I have Sun semi-sextile moon too.. but that doesn't help me at all considering I need extensive therapy due to a very difficult and strained relationship with my father.

Chiron is in my 5H. Mercury rules my 5H sextile chiron so that's good I guess lol..

I will always try to stay positive and work on myself, but I have to put it all on the scale.. true to my moon lol.

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MoonMystic
Knowflake

Posts: 6982
From: ทѳ૨τђ ทѳ∂૯ ♓
Registered: Nov 2016

posted November 06, 2022 02:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MoonMystic     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
93nov, if I saw your chart I might be able to better understand your potential with vs without. I understand completely how you feel as I walked in the shoes myself wanting, yearning to be a mommy. I did however adopt over time many sweet kittens that brought me such joy as we grew together.

In your chart you might see if you're more a person who likes, or is written in the prints to lead, nurture etc. You might be very independent by your chart or team oriented. Idk your particular architecture..

I can tell you that in my life I struggled, cried and even thought maybe it wasn't meant "for me". Trying to adapt my thinking, feeling. Other's would later tell me what a great mommy I would have been. That is anguish too, to know it's a side of myself I might have been amazing with - other's have seen.
On the upside, I discovered myself in ways a dedicated mother may not find time or even think of.
Not that mom's are too nurturing to notice their own inner selves. They are more so the one's to help bring up (guide) the beautiful starts (seedlings) of tomorrow. That nurturing is needed to bring in a wonderful society of the future. Doers, dreamers and role models. Without those warm hearted people to bring children up, we'd be steril. Dull, even erratic in a foundation of humanity. In fact in my way I didn't make up for my *not* being a mommy in the normal sense.
I did however many times realize I needed to find my inner child and heal her. Parent, nurture her. As though I'm both Mother+Child in one. I was damaged by events in my childhood and this has given me an opportunity to go back to recover, restore myself as I Should Be. Should have been.. I'm not saying it is just a person in need of self healing that may benefit. However if you've any to do, this would make a huge benefit to both you - and your probable babe one day. You could see areas that may need tended or perhaps the parenting you might bring would differ greatly from how you were raised, you are given a chance to create the basis you feel would be best to a planned child you'd like that raise. If course you could as well decide there's many other areas you'd like to explore within yourself or outside you. Some people whom travel are much freer to roam to areas they find compelled to see, before having a family.

I'm curious if you have energy in Sagittarius, Aries, Cancer or Virgo.
Every sign is capable of parenting. I'm curious how much moon energy you might have too. I may have not offered much in way of helping but if you'd like to share I'd be happy to study your chart with what capabilities I have.

Just your wanting to be a mother, speaks volumes you'd make a wonderful one! Whatever way your path carries you - I hope you'll be happy.

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Aries23Degrees
Knowflake

Posts: 9869
From: South Africa
Registered: Dec 2012

posted November 06, 2022 07:04 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aries23Degrees     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by 93nov:
Well when you put it like that.. lol.

"Where there is desire, a flame is lit
When a flame is lit,there is potential that you are going to burn. And just because it burns doesn't mean u are going to die. You have got to get up and Atleast try. Try. Try."- Pink(singer)

Don't call yourself out of the game when you didn't even enter the pitch🤷🏿‍♂️

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Kannon McAfee
Knowflake

Posts: 4919
From: Portland, OR - USA
Registered: Oct 2011

posted November 07, 2022 02:14 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Kannon McAfee     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Good words of wisdom from Aries23.

quote:
Originally posted by 93nov:

... Anyway, I was hoping someone could take a look at my natal chart/ transits and see if there's any major indicators of never conceiving.


If it is any comfort, I am 52 and I still feel like a child at times. That doesn't mean that we can't handle our lives and move forward.

Astrology does not prevent you from having children. It may show obstacles to overcome or lessons to learn on the way, but if you want children, there is a soul/child waiting to be with you. You may have to change your notion of 'having children' to include unconventional methods, but the desire is the basis for it happening.

Yes, you've been undergoing the transit of Saturn return (through Feb 2023). But Saturn has also been in square with your natal Sun for most of 2022 — and squaring your natal Pluto for much of the last year. Those combined can very challenging to your sense of personal power, not just confidence. I strongly suggest you consciously and verbally reaffirm your internal center of power as your own spirit, your power to create your own outcomes. Timelines don't matter. Persistence does.

Meanwhile, why compare yourself to others and their timelines? Whether or not this happens for you has nothing to do with other people's timelines. It has to do with yours. That timeline need not be clear to you for you to have your own future in-hand. Most often the timelines of things coming to fruition is obscured.

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Cancermoon83
Knowflake

Posts: 108
From:
Registered: Mar 2022

posted November 08, 2022 10:58 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Cancermoon83     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
You are still too young to give up on that. Where I live,most women have their 1st child after 30,and 30s seem to me an ideal age to have them. You are more mature and ready,and your body is in the best shape to have kids.

I never wanted kids,but something woke up in me about a year ago and I thought to give it a try. I got pregnant the 2nd month of trying,only to miscarry a month later. After that I kept trying for months and nothing happened again. I totally gave up on the idea now and I use protection to avoid it happening again. But I'm 39 and I was never crazy about kids to begin with.

I often wonder how my life would have been if the miscarriage didn't happen and I get very emotional about it. I guess family isn't for everyone.

Saturn rules my 5th house,and it's empty,if that helps.

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Leo-Cancer98
Knowflake

Posts: 1898
From: Toronto,Ontario,Canada
Registered: Nov 2014

posted November 08, 2022 04:24 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Leo-Cancer98     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Cancermoon83:
You are still too young to give up on that. Where I live,most women have their 1st child after 30,and 30s seem to me an ideal age to have them. You are more mature and ready,and your body is in the best shape to have kids.

I never wanted kids,but something woke up in me about a year ago and I thought to give it a try. I got pregnant the 2nd month of trying,only to miscarry a month later. After that I kept trying for months and nothing happened again. I totally gave up on the idea now and I use protection to avoid it happening again. But I'm 39 and I was never crazy about kids to begin with.

I often wonder how my life would have been if the miscarriage didn't happen and I get very emotional about it. I guess family isn't for everyone.

Saturn rules my 5th house,and it's empty,if that helps.


39 is young, to be honest. But then again, I don’t consider anyone of old age until 75. If you are stil open to becoming a mother, I helped a 43 year old friend naturally conceive on her 2nd Cycle; she birthed a perfect baby 7 months ago. Would you like my assistance? I’d love to share it with you!

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Randall
Webmaster

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From: I hold a Juris Doctorate (J.D.) and a Legum Magister (LL.M.)!
Registered: Apr 2009

posted November 19, 2022 10:00 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Bump!

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Stawr
Moderator

Posts: 7898
From: N. America
Registered: Nov 2010

posted November 20, 2022 02:17 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Stawr     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
If I have learned anything this year, don't use that as a reason to settle in a relationship.

My sister has 3 kids. 2 girls. 1 boy. I have no pressure!

I thought about my great aunt who never had kids and got her kid fix with her nephews and her great nieces. (me!! lol) She had no BS. My grandma had 4 boys but my grandpa was pretty much abusive on all levels.

It does not measure success. I will try to better trust the universe, if it's meant to be/fate it will happen.

I'm a Scorpio moon h6
Mercury Taurus h12
Aquarius Mars h10

some of my natal aspects are

Sun sextile Mars
Sun square Saturn
Moon square Mars

some of my current transits right now are

Saturn square Moon
Saturn sextile Sun
Neptune rx sextile Saturn

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