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Author Topic:   Confessions of an unevolved scorpio man
LF DX
Knowflake

Posts: 361
From: Paraguay
Registered: Sep 2014

posted January 17, 2016 01:05 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for LF DX     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Good afternoon, I've seen lately a lot of well deserved critics for many scorpio ********* doing their mind games and silent treatments to great women, and leave them badly scarred. I am one of them.

This is not a defense of what we do, because what we do is very damaging to ourselves and the people around us, and we lose many chances to create great loving relationships for our fears and insecurities, creating bad memories and regrets at the end of it, it's a damn pity, all of this.

This is a confession from the other side, from the devil, from the one that hurts, that dissapears without a trace, that shows a lot of love first to then withdraw it all without a reason, and no matter the love the other person has, we drift away from them, leaving them with the sensation of "never again". I'm going to tell a story, from the ****** up scorpio man's POV... As a way of explaining how it is to feel this emotional mess and not doing a thing about it, until now, because through this, I'm looking to change, to evolve, to make a difference with my life and stop doing this endless self-sabotage that I do with me and my relationships, cause I make the choice to change myself finally, for the better.

For the majority of my 24 years of life, I've dealt with a dysfunctional family, with very little nurturing from my mother, a very strict and stoic father, and a combination of seeing domestic violence and excessive control, recieveing very little real affection or stimulation, lots of "No, you can't(won't) do this" for no reason, and the constant isolation from people in general, for being the perfect victim from the bullies, anxiety, and a sense of being a natural loner I've realized that caused a very damaging blow to my self image, that persists to this day, of being not worthy of good things, of not being considered a good man even if I'm most of the time a kind, respectful man, I don't do any action to my life, rather than live in a very monotonous way. If it wasn't for being a musician on the rise, I'd probably have killed myself or going crazy, that was the only thing that kept me alive, and my group of friends, that remained with me through the years. Then most of the things around me doesn't arouse me at all.

The reason for being in this depressing state of mind is, as most of you know, a relationship, that I let my fears to **** with it and it's killing me inside in ways that I haven't had it in many years, and it is because it's the very first time that a woman was so close to me like no other was before.

These past years I've tried to finally grow up a bit and go out to the world, and it went out ok in some ways, like knowing a lot of people, playing music outside your town, being more attractive to women and getting attention for your musical talents and some more; but I admit that even with all of that I did my eternal pattern of walking away from people without a proper reason, specially with women. Every time a woman started to get close to me, I bailed, I did the turnarounds, the hot-cold games, the withdrawals, I did them all, during all these years, using excuses of "using pain as a creative tool", "I'm a natural loner", "no one wants me". Believe me, years of doing this have taken its toll, it's bad, very bad, and it leaves me very strung out, bitter, and sometimes angry.

And now to the very main story that caused me this state.

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Elysia
Knowflake

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From: Gotham
Registered: Aug 2015

posted January 17, 2016 01:37 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Elysia     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Well, I for one, would like to hear. Thanks for creating this thread. Sucks to be on either side of this melodrama, but this a perspective we haven't had before, so do tell...

And we may have questions later if you're open for a little brain-picking.

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LF DX
Knowflake

Posts: 361
From: Paraguay
Registered: Sep 2014

posted January 17, 2016 01:43 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for LF DX     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Double Post, sorry, but I want to tell the story in this post

I've met a great cancer woman last year in a roadtrip of poets and musicians. We instantly clilcked in a very good way as we had many things in common, in music(both being musicians), politics and life in general, and in that day we even played together in a jam session that lasted to the wee small hours of the next day, it was a fantastic night, we made the crowd happy, and with some other people, we formed a community of people that still functions to this day, albeit we don't see most of the people that often.

We stopped contact for I can't remember it well, but we always had fond memories of that day, until a few months later I thought of her as the first person to start a new band, because of that great memory, and I went to one of her shows with another band to ask her to be my bandmember, and she accepted, after showing her a demo of my song, and we started to rehearse and from day one, we had a very powerful chemistry, that was more than just musical, but we both denied at the beginning for "musical reasons", but as the time went by, she stayed in my place after rehearsals and we spent a lot of time together, talking about our past, life, music and more... That being the very first time I've had this with a woman in that way, cause most of my relationships with women were mostly shallow, and most of then never did evolve or their time was cut-short for the reasons I've explained above.

We were like on the brink of crossing the line of friendship, but I wanted to enjoy first our musical bond before moving forward, but it was more or less clear that we were getting closer, up to the point she invited me to go to a show in a pub in our town... and after lots of bantering going nowhere, alcohol and a pizza with some ganjah we started dancing, until I had an anxiety attack which freaked her out so badly that she went out outside the building and we couldn't bring the fire back again, and from that point, we started drifting, slowly, the constant conctact literally went away and the affection literallly dissapeared. And I withdrawn of her because of her coldness towards me. Because mostly when I feel things are going sour, I make the dissapearing act and leave, and more or less that's what I did, it's been more or less 45 days since we last saw each other.

But since, she's been putting out our picture from when we first met in our jam session and when we first recorded our song, and somehow the warm feeling kinda returned, but since I continued to drift away, by just keeping myself away, and it affected our band as well, cause since we drifted, we didn't rehearsed anymore, I simply feared to contact her in any form, I was anxious, I had panic, I couldn't make myself to try to regain contact, and in some way now, I'm self-sabotaging the relationship, by just staying away from her as much as I can.

Maybe some of this is just my perception, I must admit it, maybe it was just a deep friendship, but believe me, it was deep and powerful, it was the very first time I've felt a connection that was close, real, and with a purpose, and I couldn't help but to feel for that woman. And I admit it's my fault now for not trying to make contact, to avoid her because of my fears, for making a slow and painful death to one of the best relationships I've ever had, for not daring to cross the live and then drift away. I confess it all, maybe it was, maybe it wasn't, but it is my fault for not bring it back to what it deserves to be.

Through this thread I can say that I'm going to start, with all my strength to change this behavior, so damaging to myself and others, cause I'm so ******* tired of doing this, it's worthless, and a waste of time and life, I want to evolve, to change, to stop being a coward with my emotions and a more conscious man with others, and to try.. to try to give and recieve, cause that's what I want, And I'll do my very damn best on it.

Maybe this isn't the place to make this emotional venting, but I wanted to show you, that behind a unevolved scorpio man, with his demons, behind all of that, there's just a kid desperately wanting affection, but now knowing how to do it, and learning it the hard way, the hardest of ways.

Cheers.

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misspriss
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From: London
Registered: Nov 2015

posted January 17, 2016 01:44 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for misspriss     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Wow.

I am so taken aback by the emotional intelligence of your post and would like to write back to you in two ways.

First to say, as I have posted on this board - I have been one of those woman (and still am) to be affected by this kind of unevolved Scorpio.

Very similar to you...his parents were violent alcoholics he had little emotional connection to and he grew up as a loner. He learned to be very detached from everything and after experiencing extreme heartbreak from the first and only woman he let close to him - he has become changed and is unable to love anyone. He moved far from home and lives a life of being alone. Playing games and never letting anyone close. Like you, he is aware he does it. Like you, he knows why. Like you, he can't stop. He doesn't want me to walk away - but he behaves in ways that force me to do that. In the end his fears will become a self fulfilling prophecy because his hot / cold games are too much for anyone to survive. So you're not alone and I think being a Scorpio and so deeply needing love, security, emotional connection, loyalty and not getting it can cause these horrible defensive and destructive behaviors if you are exposed to painful experiences at a young age.

The other thing I have to say to you will hopefully speak to you in a way I would like to speak to HIM if he was able to listen. And perhaps you can see it from the other point of view and it may help even a little.

If you looked at the man I love you'd not see anything special about him. He's not amazingly gorgeous or funny or anything unusual that makes him worth all the trouble and I wasn't even interested in him for almost a year when he was asking me out.

But then, I spent time with him, and as he spoke and smiled with me and sat with me - his face that had seemed so skinny and angular to me suddenly transformed into the most beautiful face I had ever seen. And in an instant the smell of his skin became my favourite smell. The sight of his name on my phone made me smile every time I saw it and he felt like he had always been born to be laying down next to me. I fell in love with him without planning or intending it, and without any logical reason on paper that I could understand. Just for who he is, wounds and problems and pain and everything included - to me - he was just the most beautiful person I had ever seen.

And all the stuff from his childhood and his past - I didn't care. I am usually a girl who needs a lot of security from her partner -but for him - I was willing to flip roles and be what he needed. Give him patience and healing and love and all the things I felt compelled to give him.

And I knew just for a few weeks when he wasn't putting his guard up that we both felt the same. You could feel the magic in the room and you could feel the unspoken bond in the room that I can't describe in words.

Then the cold came over him like a cloak. Just as you describe and he has systematically done everything he can to drive me away. And I clung on for a long time because my feelings for him were so strong and because i KNEW it wasn't the real him. And instead of making him realise he shuld stop, I think instead it made him lose all respect for me.

A catch 22 situation, I could never win. He wanted to destroy us and act like it was nothing because he was too scared to take a risk.

BUT if he hadn't. if SOMETHING inside him had found the courage to decided to take a chance on being vulnerable and to trust me and to believe we "could" be something happy then I swear to God I would have never hurt him. I would never, ever have done anything to hurt him - and I think we would have been happy - and that the hurt spaces inside him would have healed with me. Because that was my connection to him.

So I hope one day that if you find the girl that makes you feel so scared like that, that you can please find a little bit of courage inside yourself to jump out of the place. Take a risk.

If you can't take that risk, your heart shrivels up and becomes impenitrable. And this is too high a price to pay to avoid being hurt!

I can tell from reading your post that you are a man of such depth and love and believe me - the right woman is going to love you for that

xxxxxx

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hypatia238
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posted January 17, 2016 01:45 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hypatia238     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Well thanks for being honest and letting it all out, may the healing begin.

It sounds like you have an avoidant attachment style and you can change that if you let it with the right partner.

I don't feel your case is just a case of the scorpios bc as you mentioned your upbringing had a huge impact for the worse but yet you have the power in you to turn this around at any moment and say 'no this is not how the story is going to end.' You can do it! Seek out help and someone you can process this all out loud with and can help you stop self sabatoging, you know some extra support but it's ultimately all in your hands.

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hypatia238
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From: Colorado
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posted January 17, 2016 01:53 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hypatia238     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by LF DX:
Double Post, sorry, but I want to tell the story in this post

I've met a great cancer woman last year in a roadtrip of poets and musicians. We instantly clilcked in a very good way as we had many things in common, in music(both being musicians), politics and life in general, and in that day we even played together in a jam session that lasted to the wee small hours of the next day, it was a fantastic night, we made the crowd happy, and with some other people, we formed a community of people that still functions to this day, albeit we don't see most of the people that often.

We stopped contact for I can't remember it well, but we always had fond memories of that day, until a few months later I thought of her as the first person to start a new band, because of that great memory, and I went to one of her shows with another band to ask her to be my bandmember, and she accepted, after showing her a demo of my song, and we started to rehearse and from day one, we had a very powerful chemistry, that was more than just musical, but we both denied at the beginning for "musical reasons", but as the time went by, she stayed in my place after rehearsals and we spent a lot of time together, talking about our past, life, music and more... That being the very first time I've had this with a woman in that way, cause most of my relationships with women were mostly shallow, and most of then never did evolve or their time was cut-short for the reasons I've explained above.

We were like on the brink of crossing the line of friendship, but I wanted to enjoy first our musical bond before moving forward, but it was more or less clear that we were getting closer, up to the point she invited me to go to a show in a pub in our town... and after lots of bantering going nowhere, alcohol and a pizza with some ganjah we started dancing, until I had an anxiety attack which freaked her out so badly that she went out outside the building and we couldn't bring the fire back again, and from that point, we started drifting, slowly, the constant conctact literally went away and the affection literallly dissapeared. And I withdrawn of her because of her coldness towards me. Because mostly when I feel things are going sour, I make the dissapearing act and leave, and more or less that's what I did, it's been more or less 45 days since we last saw each other.

But since, she's been putting out our picture from when we first met in our jam session and when we first recorded our song, and somehow the warm feeling kinda returned, but since I continued to drift away, by just keeping myself away, and it affected our band as well, cause since we drifted, we didn't rehearsed anymore, I simply feared to contact her in any form, I was anxious, I had panic, I couldn't make myself to try to regain contact, and in some way now, I'm self-sabotaging the relationship, by just staying away from her as much as I can.

Maybe some of this is just my perception, I must admit it, maybe it was just a deep friendship, but believe me, it was deep and powerful, it was the very first time I've felt a connection that was close, real, and with a purpose, and I couldn't help but to feel for that woman. And I admit it's my fault now for not trying to make contact, to avoid her because of my fears, for making a slow and painful death to one of the best relationships I've ever had, for not daring to cross the live and then drift away. I confess it all, maybe it was, maybe it wasn't, but it is my fault for not bring it back to what it deserves to be.

Through this thread I can say that I'm going to start, with all my strength to change this behavior, so damaging to myself and others, cause I'm so ******* tired of doing this, it's worthless, and a waste of time and life, I want to evolve, to change, to stop being a coward with my emotions and a more conscious man with others, and to try.. to try to give and recieve, cause that's what I want, And I'll do my very damn best on it.

Maybe this isn't the place to make this emotional venting, but I wanted to show you, that behind a unevolved scorpio man, with his demons, behind all of that, there's just a kid desperately wanting affection, but now knowing how to do it, and learning it the hard way, the hardest of ways.

Cheers.


That was so beautiful and powerful, it got me teary. I belief in you and feel very proud of you for opening up like this and deciding to change.

Hugs.

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Elysia
Knowflake

Posts: 2150
From: Gotham
Registered: Aug 2015

posted January 17, 2016 02:00 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Elysia     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
No, this is absolutely the place for emotional venting. It's amazing the level of raw honesty you're capable of. You have a good heart, don't be afraid to let it show.

And don't despair, you can still get the deep and meaningful relationship you crave.

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hypatia238
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From: Colorado
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posted January 17, 2016 02:00 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hypatia238     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
The reason why I still love my ex till this day is bc I have always known in my heart that his intentions are good and like you put it:

"behind a unevolved scorpio man, with his demons, behind all of that, there's just a kid desperately wanting affection, but now knowing how to do it, and learning it the hard way, the hardest of ways."

I don't hold any ill will towards him and send him love always, I feel he does too.

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Doux Rêve
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posted January 17, 2016 02:01 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Doux Rêve     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
It seems the only people who actually put up with/fall for that kind of dynamic (the "unhealthy Scorpio" dynamic) are very Piscean/Neptunian...

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hypatia238
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From: Colorado
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posted January 17, 2016 02:02 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hypatia238     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Elysia:
No, this is absolutely the place for emotional venting. It's amazing the level of raw honesty you're capable of. You have a good heart, don't be afraid to let it show.

And don't despair, you can still get the deep and meaningful relationship you crave.


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LF DX
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From: Paraguay
Registered: Sep 2014

posted January 17, 2016 02:04 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for LF DX     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thank you very much for your responses, I knew that showing the other side of the eternal melodrama with scorpio men could create a debate on these problems and how to solve it, through my experience.

And the way I wrote is because I had this very well repressed for many months, but I'm saying more or less; in my second language (spanish is the first) more or less the things I want to say to her, and the things I want to do, cause I'm in the boiling point, of letting something beautiful to fade away, or make a difference and at least to regain some of the lost trust and kinship we had. And I love writing, I write a lot of poems and songs; I made some poems in the yellow wax and the ants expressing more or less what's happening with me.

I hope in your case Misspriss that that man can heal himself someday and realize what he's missing.

This next weekend I will try to regain contact with her, I miss her so much, I can admit that the more I'm without her, the more I'm self-sabotaging myself, the more I'm sinking in this mess, I want to regain contact, and to regain the bond I had, or most of it.

The astrological perks of having a moon in aqua unaspected, except of squares with the sun, mars and pluto scorp in the 8th, and chiron in the 5th.

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misspriss
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Posts: 191
From: London
Registered: Nov 2015

posted January 17, 2016 02:06 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for misspriss     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by hypatia238:
Well thanks for being honest and letting it all out, may the healing begin.

It sounds like you have an avoidant attachment style and you can change that if you let it with the right partner.

I don't feel your case is just a case of the scorpios bc as you mentioned your upbringing had a huge impact for the worse but yet you have the power in you to turn this around at any moment and say 'no this is not how the story is going to end.' You can do it! Seek out help and someone you can process this all out loud with and can help you stop self sabatoging, you know some extra support but it's ultimately all in your hands.


I agree, you sound like an avoidant attachment style.

If you read up on that it's so common in people who had childhoods like yours and I believe us Scorpios feel things so acutely it can be hard to overcome such things.

The cure is hard, but it is real.
Learn to love yourself. Such a simple sentence and such a hard task but something you can truly do. I would be happy to help you on that journey and let you know how I got through it myself and begun to heal those past wounds. Loving yourself means so much really, and it is all about literally giving yourself love in the way others should have but failed to do. Becoming for YOU who you need as a child and did not have.

therapy helps
group support helps
reading helps (I can recomend books)

But most of all the desire to want to change helps the most.

Spiritually I believe though, that only love can fill those holes - and that love can come from friends, a partner and yourself.

xxx

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hypatia238
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posted January 17, 2016 02:11 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hypatia238     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Double post

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hypatia238
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posted January 17, 2016 02:11 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hypatia238     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Doux Rêve:
It seems the only people who actually put up with/fall for that kind of dynamic (the "unhealthy Scorpio" dynamic) are very Piscean/Neptunian...

I didn't put up with it, I broke up with him quickly after he started doing that and that is why we are not together, BTW he has moon in Pisces too. The thing though he was great for close to a year, I should had been more patient and mature about how I dealt with his immaturity and poor decision and not broken up on impulse destroying his trust causing him to distance himself more which made me brake up again with him a week later after we got back and after that I moved to another country so we both did a lot of stupid things and I forgive us completely and am at peace with everything and have nothing but love in my heart.

We are humans, complex and flawed and we make many mistakes a long the way and that is OK, it means we are living life and learning.

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Doux Rêve
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posted January 17, 2016 02:25 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Doux Rêve     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
It wasn't a derogatory comment.
I've just noticed that Neptunians tend to fall for troubled people way more often than the others. Even if they choose not to stay with them...

I can sorta see why Pisces is 'recommended' for Scorpio, ha.

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misspriss
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posted January 17, 2016 02:28 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for misspriss     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I agree my pisces moon definitely impacts my desire to help / fix

Same with friends and family.

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Doux Rêve
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posted January 17, 2016 02:33 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Doux Rêve     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
LF DX, can you post your chart?

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LF DX
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posted January 17, 2016 02:40 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for LF DX     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Sure, here it is

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Gemini30
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posted January 17, 2016 02:58 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Gemini30     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
LF DX,

I'm thankful you have started this thread!

I'm not a Scorpio like you, I'm a Gemini but my Gemini Sun falls in the 8th house, along with Mecury. Plus i have Moon conjunct Pluto, and Venus Opposition Pluto.

I grew up in a broken home. My father was emotionally not there for me at all growing up. He was a drunk and very abusive to my mother. My mother and i are close but i feel resentment towards her at times because she was the only person i could go to when i needed affection, yet she wasn't there all the time.

When it comes to relationships with women and friends, horrible. My insecurities, my possessiveness, my STRONG jealousy have completely ruined so many friendships and relationships for me to the point where i went YEARS absolutely numb. I felt like i was on Autopilot (Adam Sandler's Click reference). I was so alone during this time period, i felt like it was me against the world. Sad thing is, i'm still somewhat like this. I have now realized that I AM the problem, not the people who genuinely what to be with me or get to know me.

It's funny cause i can be in a social setting and be the life of the party scene, the social butterfly. Then people get to know me and once i feel they want to be "close" to me, i run and i'm never to be seen or heard of again.

My chart is air heavy, as i am a Libra moon and Libra rising but my painful insecurities have truly made it look like my chart is Water dominant.

However lately i've been letting my guard down. Just recently i've been getting along with a coworker of mine and he just invited me to a mini-road trip to Maryland. In the past i would've just created some bullcrap LIE about not being able to go. However, this time i said "sure! Lets go!"

It's all about time really. As time goes on, insecurities start to diminish. The older you get, the less you care about fear.

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Doux Rêve
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posted January 17, 2016 03:00 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Doux Rêve     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Interesting. Not surprising to see such an afflicted Moon and Venus.

Transiting Saturn is conjuncting your Mercury (Dsc ruler) which may explain the mental focus on how you deal with relationships in general. The square to Jupiter makes the process a little uneasy because of crushed ideals or principles, I would say.

You could explore the position of your Pluto more, since it's so prominent. Perhaps read some astrology books on Pluto... or anything you can find online.

Can't say much more because I'm in a similar predicament.

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LF DX
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From: Paraguay
Registered: Sep 2014

posted January 17, 2016 03:08 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for LF DX     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Gemini30:
LF DX,

I'm thankful you have started this thread!

I'm not a Scorpio like you, I'm a Gemini but my Gemini Sun falls in the 8th house, along with Mecury. Plus i have Moon conjunct Pluto, and Venus Opposition Pluto.

I grew up in a broken home. My father was emotionally not there for me at all growing up. He was a drunk and very abusive to my mother. My mother and i are close but i feel resentment towards her at times because she was the only person i could go to when i needed affection, yet she wasn't there all the time.

When it comes to relationships with women and friends, horrible. My insecurities, my possessiveness, my STRONG jealousy have completely ruined so many friendships and relationships for me to the point where i went YEARS absolutely numb. I felt like i was on Autopilot (Adam Sandler's Click reference). I was so alone during this time period, i felt like it was me against the world. Sad thing is, i'm still somewhat like this. I have now realized that I AM the problem, not the people who genuinely what to be with me or get to know me.

It's funny cause i can be in a social setting and be the life of the party scene, the social butterfly. Then people get to know me and once i feel they want to be "close" to me, i run and i'm never to be seen or heard of again.

My chart is air heavy, as i am a Libra moon and Libra rising but my painful insecurities have truly made it look like my chart is Water dominant.

However lately i've been letting my guard down. Just recently i've been getting along with a coworker of mine and he just invited me to a mini-road trip to Maryland. In the past i would've just created some bullcrap LIE about not being able to go. However, this time i said "sure! Lets go!"

It's all about time really. As time goes on, insecurities start to diminish. The older you get, the less you care about fear.


That's amazing dude, go and have fun, open up and enjoy what could be new adventures with new people. Continue the progress forward, and don't stop, cause you'll be back at the black hole where the negativity rules our lives.


quote:
Originally posted by Doux Rêve:
Interesting. Not surprising to see such an afflicted Moon and Venus.

Transiting Saturn is conjuncting your Mercury (Dsc ruler) which may explain the mental focus on how you deal with relationships in general. The square to Jupiter makes the process a little uneasy because of crushed ideals or principles, I would say.

You could explore the position of your Pluto more, since it's so prominent. Perhaps read some astrology books on Pluto... or anything you can find online.

Can't say much more because I'm in a similar predicament.


Recommend me some please, I'd love to read them.

And my sister, also a scorpio, but more evolved gave me Awaken the giant within and Psycho Cybernetics, to learn how to deal with my troubled mind and to change myself. Both are very recommended if you have some of these problems

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Doux Rêve
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posted January 17, 2016 03:45 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Doux Rêve     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
You could look into "The Hades Moon" by Judy Hall, "The Book of Pluto" by Steven Forrest and perhaps "Pluto: The Evolutionary Journey of the Soul" by Jeff Green.

I've only read some excerpts from "The Hades Moon" and it was pretty interesting, but not life-changing (I wouldn't necessarily expect that from a book anyway). Can't comment on the other two, although I'd like to read them eventually.

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hypatia238
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posted January 17, 2016 05:05 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hypatia238     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Doux Rêve:
It wasn't a derogatory comment.
I've just noticed that Neptunians tend to fall for troubled people way more often than the others. Even if they choose not to stay with them...

I can sorta see why Pisces is 'recommended' for Scorpio, ha.


Oh yeah I can agree with that 110%. Its almost like you have to be troubled in some way for me to get interested, its terrible but then again who isn't troubled?

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deepseablues
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posted January 17, 2016 05:34 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I really appreciate your sharing your struggles. Part of the Scorpio dynamic is being born an unwanted child in some form and it's not something most can empathize with unless having been through a similar experience. But being able to relate to your emotions and experiences I commend you for putting this out here and it I think it is beautiful to see a fellow Scorpio transforming into an eagle and to one day be a phoenix risen from your ashes.

"the beginning of wisdom is to desire it" and I think admitting/recognizing your "unevolvedness" is essentially an evolution in itself.

I would recommend reading the chapter on Pluto in Isabel Hickey's "Astrology: A cosmic science." She explains and interprets Pluto in a way I've never read before, and she mentions about Pluto being a "double" or "twin" planet, with Minerva being the evolved side of Pluto.

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midnightcatqueen
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posted January 17, 2016 08:16 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm going through this with a 'unevolved' Scorpio moon man..
We met thru a show he performed at playing the same bill as a friend who i had came to see. They were friends and my friend introduced me to him.. i thought he looked familiar but i knew I didn't know him.. even though he mentioned his band i felt i already knew him.
We didn't sleep together that night but he also met his ex fiance that night as well through a mutual friend... the fiance was trouble from the start as she was having an affair with his married friend/bandmate and it was serious. She broke it off with my guy since her dad died and just went and showed her true colors...even tried to get back with his friend. I believe he wanted to be with her cause she was rich and had status and was twice his age.

I saw him again 8 months later since we met And 3-4 months after he broke up with his ex and felt that spark again. I couldn't resist and made my move since the first nite i couldn't really gauge his reaction towards me since he was shy but seemed interested. We were inseparable for the next 2 months and it was nice but didn't feel comfortable being in the shadow of his ex and scolded him a few times about speaking relentlessly of anything that triggered a memory. I knew we both pretended tp to not want something more especially him more than me. Then i left to Florida for a week and he said things like I really like you and I'll miss you. I come back and a few days later i slept at his house and woke up to him coming back from his job and he was so mad for some reason that i had been there all day as if i haven't done that before plenty of times. He said i was acting like his GF and he didn't like that when just the night before we were hanging out with our friends and some guy and he was laying his head on my lap and getting cuddly with me in front of everyone. I had been given his house keys numerous times to at one point i had them for weeks. He joined my band the nite after we slept together and he's just been very attached to me more than i could have imagined and it was fabulous to get that close with someone so quickly and genuinely( my Scorpio Pluto is conjunct 7th house)
He's been there for me through thick and thin and when he tried to tell me I'm coming on too strong it broke my heart. I felt like i lost a friend .. almost a month went by and he contacted me and wanted to have lunch... he came over and we had slept together again and went to a show.. but the damage had been done as he started acting moody and making me feel like he didn't want to hang out with me but wanted me around. Ever since then it's all been topsy turvy mind games and i hate it. I'm cutting him off... he doesn't realize just like the OP what damage that does to a beautiful genuine connection until it's too late. I've been getting lots of readings that i need to hold back and he will come around but i honestly can't play these holding back games when i finally confessed I'm in love with him last month and now have to play a waiting game because obviously he fell in love first and i didn't realize until later on what a missed opportunity we could have had.,.which is still possible but I'm throwing in the towel and hope my guy will turn out like the the original poster to stop the mind games! We could all die tomorrow and you'll feel guilty for not utilizing the time you have alive.

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here's a little agit for the never believer

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