posted June 12, 2011 06:57 PM            

I'm the Aries girl that recently separated from my violent Aquarius husband who wants to ship us out to Jordan, and I now live in my parents house until I can get my footing.

My husband had come over a few times since the split. Three weeks have passed, and he's come four times. The kids were not a focus. He still wants me to go to Jordan, while saying things like "I'm not going to change, take it or leave it." and "If you want a divorce, welcome." So, I'm not going to rush into a reconciliation. I look at him and I don't think I could forgive or love him. He hurt me so much, and I feel like the fog is clearing.

My parents want me to give him another chance. They think I should be married just for the sake of the status of marriage. They want me to be married for the financial stability and for the children. He's no father. Up until now, he's been nothing but the sperm donor.

Anyway, needless to say, I'm not interested in going back, at least not now. His actions since the split justify my feelings.

The Scorpio neighbor was wonderful. He wanted to act like the liason between me and my huzz, to try to piece things back together. I don't understand why, as we were bonding, I was smitten and told him what I felt, and he even told me he loves me and wants the best for me, and would like a relationship. It was a "dead end" (his words) relationship, and we didn't know how to move forward.

He said he was happy with his wife, and I felt guilty. So with the advice of some of my responders in an earlier post, I told him that for now, I need to break away and focus on how to move forward regarding my unsteady marriage.

He jumped on it, and we haven't contacted each other for a week now. After a year of seeing him every day, and then he telling me that he reads my mind, and feels that magnetic pull that I feel, and remembers things that I forgot, and that he LOVES me, he backed off cold turkey.

Granted, I too have not picked up the phone. I want to sooooo badly. But I don't want to play games, or lead him on, or get hurt and/or hurt him. I miss him so much that I cry. I still feel his hands on my back when he hugged me, and still smell the cologne on his neck when I snuggled into him, and still hear his laugh when I told him a joke.

I fell really hard for him. I wonder if he even cared. I'm a mess about it, and I've written him about 1000 poems since last Saturday that he may never ever see.

How could he just back off so easily? Was he just feeding off my infatuation, but never really cared?

posted June 12, 2011 07:08 PM            

Whatever you do, please postpone the decision until this month is over. It's a rocky one for everyone of us, with the eclipses. Don't listen to anyone except your soul and your gut feeling. Focus on what YOU want for yourself! That includes relationships and how your life and those of your children will look like from now on.

posted June 12, 2011 08:52 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by esheep123:
Would it be horrendous if I call him tonight, just to ask how he is doing?

---

LOL Esheep
You are such a female. Don't kill me everyone

posted June 12, 2011 11:59 PM            

quote:

---

before we hung up, he said that his offer still stands (he's said it once before) that he would like to meet up for lunch one day

---

If you make the decision to bring him back into your life, at any stage (because it should be your decision and not ours) - you can say something along these lines:

Ok.. lets have lunch. I need genuine friends in my life..
Separating from a true friend like you who has always been there for me so strongly offered a shoulder to cry on –-will only make me feel lonely and depressed.
Everyone we knew as a couple - they are all mutual friends.. If I lose you it would be like living inside my head - and God knows I need something else in my life.. I need some normality… to survive.
I appreciate you so much!

In an email or text ^

(just giving you ideas.. in case you are tongue tied – and don’t really know what to say to him)

-----

I mean.. he will not say “no” ^

posted June 13, 2011 10:12 AM            

And I texted him last night, used some of betty boops wording, and regret it now. he only asked how I'm doing, but hasn't said anything romantic or supportive.

posted June 13, 2011 10:17 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by esheep123:

How could he just back off so easily? Was he just feeding off my infatuation, but never really cared?

---

Sounds like something I recently experienced. The man said that even though he wasn't in love he did have strong platonic feelings towards me and that he couldn't ignore them.

The day he met someone he did want to start a relationship with, all of a sudden he did a 180° turn and seemed to easily be able to ignore those "strong" platonic feelings, making clear that he wasn't interested in anything at all anymore.

I'm starting to think it's a man thing rather than a sign thing. But then again maybe I'm being cynical. It has happened to me before, though, not just this once. I just think that even if they weren't lying before about their feelings, they are just pretty good at keeping them hidden to keep up the appearance that they are unphased. Or maybe, some really are unphased.

posted June 13, 2011 01:39 PM            

i called my husband to ask him to actively look for an apartment, and am really considering going back...even for a little bit. jordan, absolutely not. but im feeling vulnerqble, and unwanted on moms house. its such a full household, and im absorbing their problems instead of focusing on my own.

posted June 13, 2011 03:20 PM            

You are strong and you have worth. You deserve to be happy.
And your husband is a f *sshole .

posted June 13, 2011 04:01 PM            

yes, WHAT SHE SAID. plus.. here's what i think you should do: go out for two hours alone EVERYDAY. go for a quiet walk in nature, go for coffee, meet up with friends, go to a museum. do something that makes you HAPPY every day. get away from all the energy pulling you in; it's not yours.

ACQUIESCENCE has always been my biggest downfall and it comes naturally to me. but it is a wolf in sheep's clothing and we make excuses for it. it is bad news.

make room for yourself and do not apologize for it. you can only make clearheaded decisions when you are happy. you deserve nothing less.

posted June 13, 2011 04:01 PM            

yes, WHAT SHE SAID. plus.. here's what i think you should do: go out for two hours alone EVERYDAY. go for a quiet walk in nature, go for coffee, meet up with friends, go to a museum. do something that makes you HAPPY every day. get away from all the energy pulling you in; it's not yours.

ACQUIESCENCE has always been my biggest downfall and it comes naturally to me. but it is a wolf in sheep's clothing and we make excuses for it. it is bad news.

make room for yourself and do not apologize for it. you can only make clearheaded decisions when you are happy. you deserve nothing less.

posted June 13, 2011 04:13 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by maira:
I pressed the back button twice before I decided to respond - yes, the Scorpio problem is masking your real issue and that is the one you have with your husband. I edited to add that the problem is in fact with yourself. You will have a larger and bigger issue on your hands if you decide to go back, trust me. You will destroy your life by your own hands because you don't think you deserve to be happy. And again, trust me, everyone does. We are all perfect in God's eyes and we have a duty to ourselves to act from love, not from fear. Loving ourselves first and foremost is the most selfless thing that one can do.

You are strong and you have worth. You deserve to be happy.
And your husband is a f *sshole .

Sorry for the rant. Must be the damn Scorpio moon tonight. This is my non-sugar coated opinion though.

---

Strong words! Wise ones, too.

posted June 13, 2011 05:28 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by esheep123:
I've sure got a lot of thinking to do. I dont feel completely done with my husband. Emotionally yes. Physically, yes. I'm ready to leave him on a relationship level. But...I'm not done using him yet. I still have a lot more thinking to do and plannng, but I'm planning to "get" him. I want to walk away from this marriage with something monetary. He could pick up and go to JOrdan, and I could never hear from him until the boys turn 18, then he'll say want his kids, and their money, youth, capabilities, etc. I got to get something, and I think I have to wait a little bit. Make phone calls. get lawyers involved. My husban has 300k worth of land in JOrdan, and as of now, I don't have access or rights to it. I'm not walking away from that. Cap, Mars, Neptune. Sneaky tactical planning...What do you think?

---

In Jordan you have NO rights to property.Am I right?