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Author
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Topic: People with Moon / Pluto who had bad mom experiences
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hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 6548
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted December 02, 2013 01:48 AM
  
Did you feel like you had to be the adult between your mother and you, growing up and afterwards?IP: Logged |
StarlightSmileSupreme
Knowflake Posts: 7455
From: neptune
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted December 02, 2013 01:50 AM
Yup. When I was a kid, I was expected to take care of my mom, cook her food, bring her drinks, clean the house, bring the groceries into the house, put them away, do the laundry, mow the yard even though the neighbor did that some, too. She would have had me driving the car if I were taller and it were legal. I have moon trine Pluto, pretty close orb, too. IP: Logged |
hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 6548
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted December 02, 2013 01:53 AM
Hmmm. Okay I'm glad you gave input Starlight, it made me think of something. First I think we should draw a boundary between what is expected of children and what is expected of adults. From what you said, I had to do a lot of that too but they seem more like chores, not necessarily forcing the child to be more mature (although I suppose it could.) What about emotionally, were you forced to be the adult then? IP: Logged |
StarlightSmileSupreme
Knowflake Posts: 7455
From: neptune
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted December 02, 2013 02:00 AM
It's more than just chores. Kids are supposed to do some chores, not everything. That's where Pluto steps in. It's more extreme. The parent is supposed to do some parenting, like cooking and some cleaning because that's just part of being a parent and kids can burn themselves on the stove.
Anyway, I guess since I was doing all the chores, I had to be mature in that respect since it's responsibilities. I was a latchkey kid, too. It's more common now. When I was a kid, the mom usually stayed home.
When I got home from school, I was by myself until my mother got home, and I had a list of things she wanted me to do and if I didn't do them I got whipped or some other form of punishment when she got home.
It was a lot of work for one kid. Having that much to worry about made me a bit more mature than kids who came home and screamed at each other outside for a few hours before dinner. So I guess I was expected to be emotionally mature. In a lot of ways, I was immature though. Expecting and reality were two different things and I was sorta whiny and immature for my age. I was also a grade ahead than my age in school so I had that stress, too and they all thought I was immature since I was younger.IP: Logged |
hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 6548
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted December 02, 2013 02:13 AM
So Saturn isn't the only one who doles out responsibility. Interesting.I relate to what you say… I wasn't a latchkey kid, but I might as well have been. My mom didn't want me around a lot, she got tired of me quickly and my questions and wanted her me-time more. And she always made me get her stuff, even if it was out of my way. That sounds bratty, but I'm all the way upstairs and she calls me on my cell phone to come downstairs, go to her room and get her reading glasses and bring them to the front room, even though the front room and her bedroom are on the same floor. IP: Logged |
StarlightSmileSupreme
Knowflake Posts: 7455
From: neptune
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted December 02, 2013 02:25 AM
I have sun trine Saturn too, and a Capricorn IC, Venus square Saturn and Jupiter inconjunct Saturn. The moon rules my MC and Saturn rules my IC. It's a pattern, maybe? Moon is in the eighth house as well. I find all these placements paint an overall picture of what was expected of me. With moon and Pluto, it's about emotional regeneration so it's easier to continue on emotionally after a crisis. I just experienced a major natural disaster this year and was able to recover from it emotionally very quickly and this is moon trine Pluto to me. Fast emotional rebound/recovery and ability to let go of habits and patterns. I smoked cigarettes as a teen, quit cold turkey in my early twenties without any problem. If I decide to cease anything I find isn't benefiting me, I can tell myself I won't do whatever any more and that's it. I won't do it again if I am really serious. Sometimes it takes a couple of tries for me to figure out I'm really serious. I think a lot to myself and tell myself stuff like, this isn't helping me, I'm not enjoying it so I don't need to take part in it. It's easier to stop something after telling myself stuff like that.IP: Logged |
Violets
Moderator Posts: 2303
From: Twin Peaks
Registered: Apr 2011
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posted December 02, 2013 02:27 AM
Where is your Saturn, hannaramaa?My husband has Pluto square Moon, and while I think he had more responsibility placed on him in some ways (and there still is that type of dynamic between him and his mom), I don't know if it was extreme or not. They're very close, but they have other favorable aspects in their synastry. <Edit> His mom does seem to place a lot of emotional expectations on him as an adult. I'm not sure how it was when he was growing up, but I know that he had a lot of responsibility. IP: Logged |
hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 6548
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted December 02, 2013 02:35 AM
Saturn is in Capricorn in the 7th, and squares my Sun, Mercury, Venus, and trines my Moon. Then I have Moon opposition Pluto and have never really liked my Mom that much. I love her and I'd protect her, but we have a pretty volatile relationship even me now being 24.IP: Logged |
Violets
Moderator Posts: 2303
From: Twin Peaks
Registered: Apr 2011
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posted December 02, 2013 02:41 AM
Wow. That's a lot of Saturn.
Do you have any other hard aspects to your Moon?I have Moon/Sun opposition, and square Neptune/NN. It's sextile my Uranus, which is conjunct my IC. My mom and I also have a pretty volatile relationship, although it's calmed down a bit. But we can't spend too much time around each other. I also noticed some 12th house stuff between us after the 12th house thread was brought up, and a ton of really harsh Mercury synastry between our charts. We don't communicate very calmly with each other. IP: Logged |
StarlightSmileSupreme
Knowflake Posts: 7455
From: neptune
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted December 02, 2013 02:45 AM
Do you have any trines to the moon? How aspected is it? Mine isn't aspected by any inner planets except a 10 degree wide trine to Mercury. I can definitely see that in my childhood because I didn't get much mothering and spent a lot of time either on my own or with people other than my family. The moon aspects Uranus, Neptune and Pluto, and none of the others except that one wide Mercury trine which I don't know if that counts. People with moons such as this can have strange childhoods where they don't really connect with their mothers as much for whatever reason. IP: Logged |
hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 6548
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted December 02, 2013 02:51 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Violets:
Wow. That's a lot of Saturn.
Do you have any other hard aspects to your Moon?I have Moon/Sun opposition, and square Neptune/NN. It's sextile my Uranus, which is conjunct my IC. My mom and I also have a pretty volatile relationship, although it's calmed down a bit. But we can't spend too much time around each other. I also noticed some 12th house stuff between us after the 12th house thread was brought up, and a ton of really harsh Mercury synastry between our charts. We don't communicate very calmly with each other.
You just reminded me, I saw your YouTube video! It's nice to imagine a face to a script. You pull off the bandana look really well. Okay, so talk to me about Sun Moon opposition. Were your values in conflict with your mother's or get in her way? And yes I can imagine Uranus would add some excitement in there. I have Moon trine Saturn, Uranus, and Neptune. My mom is definitely "out there," and very Plutonian. Other than a small semi-square to my ASC, the opposition is the worst aspect. Do you have Mercury - Mars in Synastry with her? I doooooo.  IP: Logged |
Violets
Moderator Posts: 2303
From: Twin Peaks
Registered: Apr 2011
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posted December 02, 2013 03:03 AM
Bleep.
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Doux Rêve
Moderator Posts: 7575
From:
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted December 02, 2013 03:10 AM
Pretty often, yes.
"Emotional expectations" sounds accurate for me, as well as chores and all that.
IP: Logged |
hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 6548
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted December 02, 2013 03:16 AM
@Violet - I know what you mean. I feel bratty complaining about getting her glasses, but that type of request does seem irrational to me. Yeah, I don't respect my mom's values either! I'm respectful towards her (now) but I disagree really strongly with the way she handles things. IP: Logged |
LovelyAries86
Knowflake Posts: 1447
From: OH, USA
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted December 02, 2013 10:01 AM
quote:
Originally posted by hannaramaa:
Did you feel like you had to be the adult between your mother and you, growing up and afterwards?
Yes! I've felt like this many times throughout my life. From childhood, I always felt VERY protective of my Mother. Always. I took charge quite often & she often would seek advice or help from me! I was her 'rock' more than she was mine. Don't get me wrong. My Mom loves me and she's a great person. But she's never been a Leader & she was babied her whole life. So because of that, I grew up fast trying to help her out. I'm not bitter about any of that though. It made me the woman I am today. IP: Logged |
popcorn
Knowflake Posts: 3271
From:
Registered: Aug 2009
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posted December 02, 2013 11:50 AM
Ive moon square pluto and an exactly parallel.
My son have moon opp pluto in scorpio.
My daughter have moon conj pluto in scorpio
My mother have her pluto sextil moon
My old sister have her pluto sextile moon
My younger sister have her moon conj pluto in virgo.
My father have his moon square pluto...I was worst during the year of teenage to my mother and father. I was an real rebell. My mother manage to meet me and my sisters on a good way. My father was like me to his mother and father. My son is also an person who like to breaking patterns but he has always been very kindly into me. I cant say I got bad experinces... Im really proud of my old old mother who was so strong and still are. My moon- pluto family are invigorating and fulfilling on all levels still...... IP: Logged |
Faith
Knowflake Posts: 6849
From:
Registered: Jul 2011
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posted December 02, 2013 12:09 PM
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Gabby
Knowflake Posts: 2548
From:
Registered: Sep 2012
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posted December 03, 2013 01:11 AM
My Virgo Moon is unaspected in the 12th house....Pluto is 23 degrees away on my AC, i never have genuinely connected to my mom....i just dont get her! She never was there, emotionally she attacked me often, accused me of things that werent true and made me want to stay as far from her as possible!
She provided a strange environment, nothing loving or supportive, very cold and critical.
I felt responsible for her happiness and had too much responsibility from an early age. It felt like she didnt love me because i wasnt 'perfect' enough for her, but she says she did love me.
Im not protective of my mom at all, but she never protected me either? I dont wish her any harm but im not going to jump in and fight any fights for her....i have my own kids to focus all my energy on.
I remember knowing if i ever wanted to feel loved, id need to find a new family, or have my own kids! I felt like i was more of her punching bag than her daughter! Closest aspect my moon has is an 8 degree square to saggy Neptune and a 11 degree square to gemini Mars. IP: Logged |
DialecticLady
Knowflake Posts: 373
From:
Registered: Sep 2013
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posted December 03, 2013 01:12 AM
quote:
Originally posted by LovelyAries86:
Yes! I've felt like this many times throughout my life. From childhood, I always felt VERY protective of my Mother. Always. I took charge quite often & she often would seek advice or help from me! I was her 'rock' more than she was mine. Don't get me wrong. My Mom loves me and she's a great person. But she's never been a Leader & she was babied her whole life. So because of that, I grew up fast trying to help her out. I'm not bitter about any of that though. It made me the woman I am today.
The same here. I have moon (1th) square pluto (MC).
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Orange
Knowflake Posts: 1255
From: Georgia
Registered: May 2009
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posted December 03, 2013 08:40 AM
for those who watch "The Real Housewives of Atlanta" franchise, Kandy has a natal Moon-Pluto square and this aspect alone fits her relation with her infamous mom to a tee.IP: Logged |
LovelyAries86
Knowflake Posts: 1447
From: OH, USA
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted December 03, 2013 09:13 AM
quote:
Originally posted by DialecticLady:
The same here. I have moon (1th) square pluto (MC).
I have the Trine.
quote:
Originally posted by Orange:
for those who watch "The Real Housewives of Atlanta" franchise, Kandy has a natal Moon-Pluto square and this aspect alone fits her relation with her infamous mom to a tee.
I do watch! Kandi's Mom is taking things much too far. She seriously needs to back the hell off. But ultimatelty, this is Kandi's fault. She's a grown damn woman. Put your Mom in her place!!! She'll never be happy until she does. I feel bad for Todd. IP: Logged |
Orange
Knowflake Posts: 1255
From: Georgia
Registered: May 2009
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posted December 03, 2013 09:24 AM
quote:
Originally posted by LovelyAries86:
I do watch! Kandi's Mom is taking things much too far. She seriously needs to back the hell off. But ultimatelty, this is Kandi's fault. She's a grown damn woman. Put your Mom in her place!!! She'll never be happy until she does. I feel bad for Todd.
Well, this is what one becomes with a controlling mother like Joyce.
In her defense, thou, Kandy bought and renovated this house and i can understand mama Joyce anger when she saw the plenty of photos throughout the house of Todd...with his own mom. 10 photos of Todd with his mom, no pictures of mama Joyce and two pictures of Kandy's daughter. What? No way, i'd be offended just like mana Joyce. And then, she overheard the staff talking about Todd and kandy's bff behavior and i got to tell you, i'd freak out, too. Joyce is just too emotional and over protective, but i can see her point, too. She didn't approve of Kandy's last bf and she was right about him. IP: Logged |
LovelyAries86
Knowflake Posts: 1447
From: OH, USA
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted December 03, 2013 09:33 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Orange:
Well, this is what one becomes with a controlling mother like Joyce. In her defense, thou, Kandy bought and renovated this house and i can understand mama Joyce anger when she saw the plenty of photos throughout the house of Todd...with his own mom. 10 photos of Todd with his mom, no pictures of mama Joyce and two pictures of Kandy's daughter. What? No way, i'd be offended just like mana Joyce.
I also understand about the photos. I'd be confused too. But that isn't something Joyce should be blaming Todd for - she should take that up with her daughter! IP: Logged |
Orange
Knowflake Posts: 1255
From: Georgia
Registered: May 2009
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posted December 03, 2013 09:42 AM
quote:
Originally posted by LovelyAries86:
I also understand about the photos. I'd be confused too. But that isn't something Joyce should be blaming Todd for - she should take that up with her daughter!
agreed!
Kandy is just so submissive to her mom, it's unbelievable, until you see her Moon aspects..and then its clear but then again, doesn't Todd have a common sense, really...putting all those photos of him&his mom on the walls with no regard for the kandy's family, including her daugther. I wouldn't do that to my s.o. This is taking advantage of her, imo IP: Logged |
curiouswoman
Knowflake Posts: 1123
From: on earth
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted December 04, 2013 01:18 AM
moon square plutoi am the mother and my mother is my dysfunctional daughter IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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