posted May 23, 2018 01:15 PM            

We all have our own reactions when we are rejected. Some people fall into a pit of despair and wallow, some turn to alcohol and drugs, some try to ease the pain by partying and attempting to have fun, some people will work on their fitness to get over the hurt, and some will turn into workaholics.

How do you deal with rejection or withdrawal from a loved one, and what aspect/placement(s) do you think play a role in how you behave when rejected?

posted May 23, 2018 03:05 PM            

I have Moon in 3rd conjunct Ic. So I think the conjunction to Ic makes me hide my true feelings away from the world and keep them there.

I think the Ic is the most secretive of all. Things could stay hidden here for a long time- even from the chart owner themselves. And its usually stuff that has to do with your subjective identity i.e family tree, paternity, customs, culture and things passed on through the genes on to you.

My handling of rejection would be to talk about it. Share the experience with others or read about it from people who have gone through similar.

In the latter I am talking about serious family rejection. Not lover rejection or anything like that. Because I really don't take that all that seriously.

If I ask someone out and they reject me. I get quite moody. I am not mature enough to shrug it off because most times I take calculated risks. So it baffles me greatly the few times that things don't work out in quite the way I wanted them to.

But it doesn't become a point of self bashing. In time I get over it. I get upbeat again.

I do however think family rejection would be the pits for me. I think I would get so defensive as to never see them again whilst I am alive.

posted May 23, 2018 03:23 PM            

Thats an interesting subject and I really wanna research this, what aspects shows what kind of attchment style one "probably" may have or develop.

For me I can find answers for my behaviour pattern (anxiously attached) whe I look at my moon and chiron..... But as I write this, nope. Its as with everything, the whole chart tells the story, A single aspect, house planet don't tell the whole story about my behaviours when rejected. I have to interprent everything in a holistic manner.

posted May 23, 2018 04:43 PM            

Jupiter conjunct Uranus in the 1H

Venus conjunct Mars in Leo

I don't just sit there and feel bad and do nothing, I speak up and fight for what I WANT. Ofcourse the idea of thinking that maybe they don't care hurts but they usually do.

posted May 23, 2018 04:53 PM            

So if it cannot be, I let myself grief that mini loss and feel anger if that is necessary and applicable, I then wish them well, send them love and good vibes and then let go. I then feel at peace. It is what it is. What is meant to be will be.

posted May 23, 2018 06:33 PM            

As far as my "family of origin"?
{btw, tChiron Aries is within one degree of my IC now?}

I was coldly rejected by my daughters for not having enough prosperity in my life. I did not have enough 'personal wealth' in order to provide them with "money."

Meaning, that I wasn't 'rich'-enough for them to consider me worthy to be a part of their lives.
(I was in the midst of some terrible catastrophic financial losses, and "~disappointed them" for not being a source for MONEY anymore.)

That was communicated to me (totally 'out of the blue', and shockingly completely unexpected), VIA EMAIL. (I had become alarmed and frantic after she missed my birthday by a few days. I began calling the hospitals, and trying to file a missing-persons report to the police in her locale.)

After her shocking email letter, when I finally spoke to her by cellphone later, she verbalized it to me directly--

During the scary divorce from an abusive ex-husband (not biologically related), he was financially well-off, and bribed them with lavish gifts. Gave them everything ~materially that teenagers could dream and lust-after during that time.

They have NO idea what they missed in Quality, relationship-wise, and the benefits of Friendship later.

Cold-hard-cash-dollar.

Bottom-line-----

These children required me to "BUY"-- to PURCHASE, a 'relationship' with them.

Been basically estranged since the 1990s.

On one hand I was quite bereaved and just-plainly honestly stunned, frankly. Was numb/empty. Not-alive inside. Just, ~missing.

When I turn to mull and think about it (with a sense of attachment), then of COURSE, it had the potential to cause pain at times.

I try to distance, and boundary-wall my thought-life from it. I don't let it define 'who I am' in this world. I am much MORE than that.

As a woman, I was their 'borrowed-womb' that they threaded-themselves into this incarnation by.

I sustained them for as long as they wanted to feed from me, through the miracle of the milk produced by my breasts.

I held them so closely. Worshiping their Masterpiece. I nurtured and loved them with ALL that was in me.
.. Went through some scary medical times where one of them came within minutes of dying. The emergency room personnel were asking me if she was 'baptized'. (You KNOW that's a sign they doubt your child is going to pull-through.)

I admired them as they grew up to be such accomplished independent literal-geniuses, and Brilliant 'learned-ladies' of the world-- especially with the Taurus child having made a historical mark on the world, Making a Difference, that many communities had felt the ripples of (throughout the USA).

I still have a pinch of pain and grief over what was so coldly 'decided' … decades ago.

But what could I do???....
Except To with humility Honor their lives,
Love them, and Send Etheric Blessings.

So really? .. What do I 'do' with that?
Elevate GOD, and humble myself.
I take it to my Lord God,
lay their decisions upon the altar of self-sacrifice,
and Bless their Do'ings.
Bless their coming-in, and going-outs.

I learned to live with that part of my life, with erecting Self-Respecting boundaries.

Affirming my Worth, my Value, I try not to give it much-thought (except briefly during some birthday, holidays, anniversary times).

On the plain human level, I have detached-care.

Don't-feel. Be Still.
No stirring and giving it undeserved life-force energy.
I don't secretly nourish it with my Valuable attention-and-time.
I give Glory to God for my Life.
For the Fact that I Am Loved.

I re-focus my Worthy-attention to something else (someone else)-- that has the Greater Potential to Produce and to profit from my Giving.

My Care is gentle, strong, careful, strategic, Wide and very Powerful.

People now Prosper, and the World is Better -- because I Lived in it.

God had a plan for my children's lives,
and for my family of origin, and each extended member.

What I have left, is my self.

I reshape, clarify, and reframe now--
Knowing that I can 'choose' to Kindly, to think about and remember the Good, and allow what rots and is corruptible to go with my body into the grave (at the end of life).

My Memory of them is Blessed.
I culture and treasure The Good in my memories,
and I diminish, purify and give thanks for the rest.

I hold-space with the Best of my intentions, and my Warmest regards and affections.

(music) If I Could (Barbra Streisand, lyrics) [4:22] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fMlnn2COHRo

posted May 24, 2018 03:30 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by mirage29:
Great topic, Lalafortunaea.

As far as my "family of origin"?
{btw, tChiron Aries is within one degree of my IC now?}

I was coldly rejected by my daughters for not having enough prosperity in my life. I did not have enough 'personal wealth' in order to provide them with "money."

Meaning, that I wasn't 'rich'-enough for them to consider me worthy to be a part of their lives.
(I was in the midst of some terrible catastrophic financial losses, and "~disappointed them" for not being a source for MONEY anymore.)

That was communicated to me (totally 'out of the blue', and shockingly [b]completely unexpected), VIA EMAIL. (I had become alarmed and frantic after she missed my birthday by a few days. I began calling the hospitals, and trying to file a missing-persons report to the police in her locale.)

After her shocking email letter, when I finally spoke to her by cellphone later, she verbalized it to me directly--

During the scary divorce from an abusive ex-husband (not biologically related), he was financially well-off, and bribed them with lavish gifts. Gave them everything ~materially that teenagers could dream and lust-after during that time.

They have NO idea what they missed in Quality, relationship-wise, and the benefits of Friendship later.

Cold-hard-cash-dollar.

Bottom-line-----

These children required me to "BUY"-- to PURCHASE, a 'relationship' with them.

Been basically estranged since the 1990s.

On one hand I was quite bereaved and just-plainly honestly stunned, frankly. Was numb/empty. Not-alive inside. Just, ~missing.

When I turn to mull and think about it (with a sense of attachment), then of COURSE, it had the potential to cause pain at times.

I try to distance, and boundary-wall my thought-life from it. I don't let it define 'who I am' in this world. I am much MORE than that.

As a woman, I was their 'borrowed-womb' that they threaded-themselves into this incarnation by.

I sustained them for as long as they wanted to feed from me, through the miracle of the milk produced by my breasts.

I held them so closely. Worshiping their Masterpiece. I nurtured and loved them with ALL that was in me.
.. Went through some scary medical times where one of them came within minutes of dying. The emergency room personnel were asking me if she was 'baptized'. (You KNOW that's a sign they doubt your child is going to pull-through.)

I admired them as they grew up to be such accomplished independent literal-geniuses, and Brilliant 'learned-ladies' of the world-- especially with the Taurus child having made a historical mark on the world, Making a Difference, that many communities had felt the ripples of (throughout the USA).

I still have a pinch of pain and grief over what was so coldly 'decided' … decades ago.

But what could I do???....
Except To with humility Honor their lives,
Love them, and Send Etheric Blessings.

So really? .. What do I 'do' with that?
Elevate GOD, and humble myself.
I take it to my Lord God,
lay their decisions upon the altar of self-sacrifice,
and Bless their Do'ings.
Bless their coming-in, and going-outs.

I learned to live with that part of my life, with erecting Self-Respecting boundaries.

Affirming my Worth, my Value, I try not to give it much-thought (except briefly during some birthday, holidays, anniversary times).

On the plain human level, I have detached-care.

Don't-feel. Be Still.
No stirring and giving it undeserved life-force energy.
I don't secretly nourish it with my Valuable attention-and-time.
I give Glory to God for my Life.
For the Fact that I Am Loved.

I re-focus my Worthy-attention to something else (someone else)-- that has the Greater Potential to Produce and to profit from my Giving.

My Care is gentle, strong, careful, strategic, Wide and very Powerful.

People now Prosper, and the World is Better -- because I Lived in it.

God had a plan for my children's lives,
and for my family of origin, and each extended member.

What I have left, is my self.

I reshape, clarify, and reframe now--
Knowing that I can 'choose' to Kindly, to think about and remember the Good, and allow what rots and is corruptible to go with my body into the grave (at the end of life).

My Memory of them is Blessed.
I culture and treasure The Good in my memories,
and I diminish, purify and give thanks for the rest.

I hold-space with the Best of my intentions, and my Warmest regards and affections.

(music) If I Could (Barbra Streisand, lyrics) [4:22] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fMlnn2COHRo

(music) Respect Yourself (Joe Cocker) [5:41] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nn1HC2XXEF8 [/B]

---

Oh, Mirage29, I’m so sorry. They can’t blame you for having financial troubles and say that you weren’t a good parent because of it.. that’s not true at all. You raised them to the best of your abilities. You clearly cared. Not all people who have children are financially stable, so for your children to have done that to you was very wrong. They don’t understand the world or life of experiences. Without you they wouldn’t even have been here. Some people take things for granted so much some times.
You said your children required you to buy a relationship with them. My best friend is always complaining how her mom is trying to buy their love with gifts and she hates it. It’s not the circumstances that happen, it’s how the person interprets it. And sometimes something will cloud their judgement by a mere incident that shaped their values and distorted them. Life is very random.

But that’s what Astrology is about mostly. Determinism and belief in a fate or some type of prearranged plan of the universe that guides us or gives us understanding into different things...
My Mom had some pretty bad things happen to her as well. I helped her fight through it. We are both moon in 7th square Saturn!! And

posted May 24, 2018 10:06 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Desiring Shadows:
Oh, Mirage29, I’m so sorry. They can’t blame you for having financial troubles and say that you weren’t a good parent because of it.. that’s not true at all. You raised them to the best of your abilities. You clearly cared. Not all people who have children are financially stable, so for your children to have done that to you was very wrong. They don’t understand the world or life of experiences. Without you they wouldn’t even have been here. Some people take things for granted so much some times.
You said your children required you to buy a relationship with them. My best friend is always complaining how her mom is trying to buy their love with gifts and she hates it. It’s not the circumstances that happen, it’s how the person interprets it. And sometimes something will cloud their judgement by a mere incident that shaped their values and distorted them. Life is very random.

But that’s what Astrology is about mostly. Determinism and belief in a fate or some type of prearranged plan of the universe that guides us or gives us understanding into different things...
My Mom had some pretty bad things happen to her as well. I helped her fight through it. We are both moon in 7th square Saturn!! And

Yeah. I think that people should really detach from all things that happen to them in life and realize “this is not me. This is a soul of god experiencing life as a human on earth. I am meant to learn these lessons. As this being. As this identity.” And then when we reincarnate we can learn even more!

---

Thank you for your thoughtful response, Desiring Shadows.

I decided to elaborated more of what happened at the inception of my children's lives, in this thread that was already going.

This happened while they were not aware of the 'adult' things happening in their little dear lives. The unfortunate 'timing' of those events always had me behind the 8-ball economically, and WITHOUT outside support for our lives. I was exhausted in sooo many ways, and not able to catch-up, nor keep-up.

I DID do the very BEST and Bravest I could.
I protected them from even the knowledge that there were things amiss, as much as I could. I tried NEVER to paint a negative picture of their dad (who abandoned them completely).

I came from a very 'religious' family, who condemned me over the divorce, and didn't support it {but the bible-thumper visited me and called me a whhoar from then on??}.
I fended for us the BEST I could, and WITHOUT outside supporters, which was an egregious harm-- to be THAT 'rejected' because of my being a woman with responsibilities too huge to be shouldering 'on my own'.

posted May 24, 2018 12:50 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by mirage29:
Thank you for your thoughtful response, Desiring Shadows.

I decided to elaborated more of what happened at the inception of my children's lives, in this thread that was already going.

This happened while they were not aware of the 'adult' things happening in their little dear lives. The unfortunate 'timing' of those events always had me behind the 8-ball economically, and WITHOUT outside support for our lives. I was exhausted in sooo many ways, and not able to catch-up, nor keep-up.

I DID do the very BEST and Bravest I could.
I protected them from even the knowledge that there were things amiss, as much as I could. I tried NEVER to paint a negative picture of their dad (who abandoned them completely).

I came from a very 'religious' family, who condemned me over the divorce, and didn't support it {but the bible-thumper visited me and called me a whhoar from then on??}.
I fended for us the BEST I could, and WITHOUT outside supporters, which was an egregious harm-- to be THAT 'rejected' because of my being a woman with responsibilities too huge to be shouldering 'on my own'.

- http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum24/HTML/239374-2.html

---

posted May 24, 2018 12:59 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Somna7H:
I have been Rejected in most of the part of my life except Romance.
Because I have not tried that yet.
When I Rejected by someone or something I feel pain and suffer silently in dark.
I know very well that nothing I can do about it.
So I just wait,wait and wait.. until my time come to take action(may be revenge).
If time never come it only hurt me from inside forever.
Choron in Aries 12th and conjunct Asc.
I can not change my Fate. 😥 http://imgur.com/TNHLQu0

---

You have a lot more power than you think to impact and change things but you have to believe in your power and get in touch with your power. If you believe you are a victim of fate, you will be a victim of fate, if you believe you have the power to create a life worth living and fight for that then the universe will help you along the way. The energy you put out there makes a huge difference.

posted May 24, 2018 01:02 PM            

.....and btw suffering is the seed to blossoming into a warrior, you don't become a warrior without enduring pain and suffering, letting yourself go there and rising above it, not giving up, fighting.

posted May 26, 2018 04:10 PM            

I was very gullible and naive back then, so, lesson learned.

I'm not saying that's the only rejection. But, generally, if I am rejected, I try not to take it personally. There's billions of people on the planet. For each person who likes me, there'll be someone who doesn't. Would rather spend my energy on the people who love me.

@mirage29

I am so sorry that had to happen, but what you have done to deal with that is admirable. My own mother was "rejected" by her eldest daughter years ago for not being "good" enough, and the way my mother coped with it was by trying very hard to win her love/win her back. My mother, at the time, essentially let herself become a doormat. I did not much like my eldest sister and did not spend much time with her, and when my mother would grovel to my eldest, I would tell her that her daughter is a spoiled brat. She, of course, thought I was the brat back then. Some years later, my mother finally saw her eldest for the spoiled, greedy, materialistic person she was when she stole loads of money and valuables from the family.

After that, my mother finally let her go, and stopped trying to win her love. My mother has Virgo moon, so, wanting to give and give and give, even once rejected, makes some sense.

posted May 26, 2018 08:41 PM            

I like you more every day and I am glad you did not do that hehehe but I get the feeling behind it, the desire and intensity.

And you were not naive, he was an assh* and a lier. F him a million times, F HIM!.

I am dealing with this emotion myself today, it sucks, I am glad you shared your story, I think tr moon on my saturn hit me hard today.