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Author
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Topic: People who think sex can solve relationship problems
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Solar_Leo_Queen
Knowflake Posts: 3212
From: Planet Earth
Registered: Jan 2014
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posted June 11, 2018 02:19 PM
  
... or people who think having sex with someone will make the other person fall for them? What do they have in their chart to indicate this?I think it's kinda messed up. In highschool, this might have been common with girls. But what about people that carry it still to adulthood? IP: Logged |
hypatia238
Moderator Posts: 12543
From: Mercury novile and parallel Pluto, Pluto septile Southnode
Registered: Sep 2014
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posted June 11, 2018 02:58 PM
Its kind of messed up but please come share with me! LOLI don't expect people to fall in love with me bc I am "good" in bed.... BUT for me amazing sex were I want to surrender my self to the other body and soul is how I personally fall in love, if that is not there I will not fall in love. To me sex is an integral part of the process of me falling in love, I feel is the most intimate thing you can do with someone. However I am high maintenance in that department and is hard for me to come across someone I can have that kind of sexual connection with, that I can give myself to like that, the person needs to understand my language and be able to receive what I am giving. I have venus conjunct mars in Leo sextile Pluto, trine Neptune and square Psyche in Scorpio. Venus squares my Psyche in scorpio exact. I also have valentine in Leo square Psyche in scorpio but more widely. I also have scorpio rising, saturn conjunct DNA exact in scorpio and kaali in scorpio. IP: Logged |
hypatia238
Moderator Posts: 12543
From: Mercury novile and parallel Pluto, Pluto septile Southnode
Registered: Sep 2014
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posted June 11, 2018 04:02 PM
Just to be clear I don't think sex can solve relationship problems but lack of intimacy is often a symptom of relationship issues. Adding this bc your title has different content from the post. I responded to the post and not the title. IP: Logged |
ChildofVenus
Knowflake Posts: 4944
From: Customer Service Rep.
Registered: Apr 2015
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posted June 11, 2018 04:55 PM
hypatia238 do you have Venus in the 8th house?IP: Logged |
capricorncheriscty
Knowflake Posts: 925
From:
Registered: Nov 2017
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posted June 11, 2018 04:59 PM
Water signs. They're also prone to poorly thinking that having children can save a marriage. I see so many water signs doing the absolute most to keep their relationship together except for actually sitting down with their partner and saying "Hey. We have this problem. This part is my fault and that part is your fault. We both need to work this out." Especially Cancers, geez...A lot of water signs are shy to sex at first (unless they have fire heavy) but once they do have sex with their partner, they also seem to think that continuously having sex is the way to keep someone in love with them etc etc etcIP: Logged |
hypatia238
Moderator Posts: 12543
From: Mercury novile and parallel Pluto, Pluto septile Southnode
Registered: Sep 2014
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posted June 11, 2018 05:06 PM
quote:
Originally posted by ChildofVenus:
hypatia238 do you have Venus in the 8th house?
Maybe, I mean my birth certificate says 12:00PM but my mother says I was born close to 1PM probably around 12:45PM and if she is right then yes I have venus, mars, eros, valentine, vertex all in my 8th house. The way I have my chart rectified though the answer will be no. Something to consider I guess... IP: Logged |
Lalafortunaea
Knowflake Posts: 1235
From:
Registered: Jul 2017
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posted June 11, 2018 05:32 PM
But sex can solve problems  if lack of sex is the problem ;D On a more serious note, for me, sex can make up for a lot of things, so long as it is deep and meaningful. In the past, when my partner and I were both very busy and didn't have much time to spend with each other, the sweet moment of intimacy was very much appreciated and needed. But everything else has got to already be established for that part to work. Now if we're talking about actual serious issues, like, IDK, my partner being a jerk, well, no, sex won't fix that, for me at least.
quote:
BUT for me amazing sex were I want to surrender my self to the other body and soul is how I personally fall in love, if that is not there I will not fall in love.
Same ^ IP: Logged |
hypatia238
Moderator Posts: 12543
From: Mercury novile and parallel Pluto, Pluto septile Southnode
Registered: Sep 2014
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posted June 11, 2018 05:53 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Lalafortunaea:
But sex can solve problems if lack of sex is the problem ;D On a more serious note, for me, sex can make up for a lot of things, so long as it is deep and meaningful. In the past, when my partner and I were both very busy and didn't have much time to spend with each other, the sweet moment of intimacy was very much appreciated and needed. But everything else has got to already be established for that part to work. Now if we're talking about actual serious issues, like, IDK, my partner being a jerk, well, no, sex won't fix that, for me at least.
Same ^
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Aries23Degrees
Knowflake Posts: 8137
From: South Africa
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted June 12, 2018 06:59 AM
LibraIP: Logged |
Stellia
Knowflake Posts: 615
From: Yorks, UK
Registered: Jan 2017
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posted June 12, 2018 06:59 AM
As a taurus sun, with sun in the second, physical touch is incredibly important to me in intimate relationships. And naked cuddling is the best kind of cuddling there is, so...  On a more serious note, there are people for whom sex is much more important than others. I'd like to prominent mars and pluto, and 8th house placements. Mars-Jupiter and Pluto-Jupiter types I'd expect to see sex playing a really important part in their relationships. I have mars conjunct NN, in leo, in the 7th (and conjunct jupiter in virgo). I need to connect physically with people. I don't see sex as a tool for falling in love, but it is essential for the deepest levels of connection. If there is no sex, no intimacy, and no vulnerability, there's very little basis for emotional intimacy, which is critical. Incidentally - I can get by without full intercourse, per se, as long as there is deep, meaningful physically intimate contact. For me, a lack of intimacy kills off a relationship pretty quickly - especially if the other person is unwilling to fix it. So, if someone is willing to work on that, that would be a way in for fixing a poor relationship. IP: Logged |
Solar_Leo_Queen
Knowflake Posts: 3212
From: Planet Earth
Registered: Jan 2014
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posted June 12, 2018 02:07 PM
I think everyone is misinterpreting what I meant.It's one thing to have lack of physical affection, but another to use sex as a tool to manipulate someone. I was more talking about like instances where two partners are arguing with each other and then one of them (its usually the feminine one), tries to initiate sexual activity to make the other forget there was problem in the first place. I've also heard of girls openly giving passionate sex to someone they like thinking it will automatically make the other fall in love or commit. I do agree with water signs, but would it be like water venus? I'm thinking Venus in Scorpio or harsh Venus-Pluto aspects. But what if they didn't have these? I would think the Moon/Mercury would play into this too? IP: Logged |
Aries23Degrees
Knowflake Posts: 8137
From: South Africa
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted June 12, 2018 02:31 PM
I stand by my earlier statement: Libra. Probably Mars in Libra or Mars ruling the 7th. As disagreements tend to arouse because one thinks of sex as a way to ease the discord.IP: Logged |
hypatia238
Moderator Posts: 12543
From: Mercury novile and parallel Pluto, Pluto septile Southnode
Registered: Sep 2014
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posted June 12, 2018 03:21 PM
Nah My partner is a libra and my ex has venus in libra conjunct pluto and neither initiate sex during a fight. I think libra is very sensitive to conflict so fights do not arouse them sexually.I can remember one instance with my ex that we were fighting and I wanted to have sex but he didn't want to mix the two emotions so we didn't. I was young and it was my first sexual relationship, I was horny a lot. You could argue that is not necessarily about avoiding an issue but about wanting to RECONNECT bc fights can activate the fight or flight mechanism in us making us feel like you might lose the person you love. So it could be an instinct to reconnect in the most intimate way. You do release the hormone Oxytocin when you orgasm which is the love or bonding hormone. You could also argue that is not about avoiding the issue but some people actually might get aroused by fights. Like some people get turned on by assertiveness and strong personalities. Like if a guy stands his ground that can be sexy and men get turned on by this too but if the fight is toxic and my partner is making me feel bad about myself obviously I will not get turned on by that. Mars does rule sex and war after all. IP: Logged |
hypatia238
Moderator Posts: 12543
From: Mercury novile and parallel Pluto, Pluto septile Southnode
Registered: Sep 2014
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posted June 12, 2018 03:37 PM
Also, I could understand too how someone will prefer to have sex over fighting. So many fights are either over stupid stuff or things that won't change and comes down to radically accepting the person or situation. SOME things actually can be worked on if the motivation is there from BOTH sides. If you have good sex with someone go for the sex hahaha there is plenty of time to fight over whatever again later. That is just me. Those moments were you connect are more important to me, fights will always happen.IP: Logged |
PixieJane
Knowflake Posts: 9465
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted June 12, 2018 05:44 PM
I'm a Libra, and anger and/or fear are big turn offs for me, and it teases my mind that it seems to be a turn on for others. I also don't seek "comfort sex" when sad. (I also don't see it as a cure for problems by any means. I also don't confuse good sex or lust for love.) The two key elements for me is either playfulness or affection. That aside...I know of someone (but not her birth time) who was born on July 14, 1964. She shared of an experience in college in which she essentially tried to rape her ex boyfriend because she felt if she forced herself on him sexually then he'd take her back.  She could've been under the mistaken impression that men only care about sex, however, though came to realize the relationship was truly over when he angrily shoved her away and put a door between them. Or maybe she was one of those women who believe good sex = love and assumed everyone was like that (and that she could force it on him). I don't know her personally. IP: Logged |
LaceyLeigh
Knowflake Posts: 1274
From:
Registered: Jul 2014
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posted June 12, 2018 06:21 PM
quote:
Originally posted by PixieJane:
I'm a Libra, and anger and/or fear are big turn offs for me
Really? Even after dating a super Aries? IP: Logged |
hypatia238
Moderator Posts: 12543
From: Mercury novile and parallel Pluto, Pluto septile Southnode
Registered: Sep 2014
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posted June 12, 2018 06:23 PM
quote:
Originally posted by PixieJane:
I know of someone (but not her birth time) who was born on July 14, 1964. She shared of an experience in college in which she essentially tried to rape her ex boyfriend because she felt if she forced herself on him sexually then he'd take her back.
hahahahahhaha Dam*** Yes Libras are very playful and affectionate, I like that about you guys. You crack me up. IP: Logged |
Solar_Leo_Queen
Knowflake Posts: 3212
From: Planet Earth
Registered: Jan 2014
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posted June 12, 2018 07:12 PM
Now you guys got me thinking.. using sex to temporarily avoid hard confrontations every time are kind of an escapist strategy.Maybe Mars-Neptune?? or like afflicted Pisces placements? Personally, I don't see Libras doing this because they're usually quite willing to talk things out. I have done this before, willingly throwing myself at someone and using sex to avoid necessary conversation as a temporary fix to problems. I was 16 😭😭 I have Mars square Neptune. It takes a lot to grow out of this. Now, every time I get the urge, I stop myself and talk with my partner instead. IP: Logged |
capricorncheriscty
Knowflake Posts: 925
From:
Registered: Nov 2017
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posted June 12, 2018 07:33 PM
quote:
Originally posted by PixieJane:
I'm a Libra, and anger and/or fear are big turn offs for me, and it teases my mind that it seems to be a turn on for others. I also don't seek "comfort sex" when sad. (I also don't see it as a cure for problems by any means. I also don't confuse good sex or lust for love.) The two key elements for me is either playfulness or affection. That aside...I know of someone (but not her birth time) who was born on July 14, 1964. She shared of an experience in college in which she essentially tried to rape her ex boyfriend because she felt if she forced herself on him sexually then he'd take her back. She could've been under the mistaken impression that men only care about sex, however, though came to realize the relationship was truly over when he angrily shoved her away and put a door between them. Or maybe she was one of those women who believe good sex = love and assumed everyone was like that (and that she could force it on him). I don't know her personally.
Wow that person you are describing is absolutely disgusting! WTF! Hope you ran away after she told you that. I would've reported her probably...I don't stand for stuff like that. And I also agree that this is NOT a Libra thing (the original topic). The person who said that is probably projecting. This type of behavior (thinking sex/children can solve relationship problems) is a very watery thing. It's a type of romantic manipulation and water signs are prone to be manipulative in love due to their murky, hard to see nature. They are literal water. How far down the ocean can you ACTUALLY see from an aerial view? Exactly...
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hypatia238
Moderator Posts: 12543
From: Mercury novile and parallel Pluto, Pluto septile Southnode
Registered: Sep 2014
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posted June 12, 2018 07:34 PM
Yes but like I said talking doesnt fix a lot of things either, some things are not supposed to be fixed and just need acceptance and understanding which talking can help facilitate in reaching this deeper understanding if done the right way lol but emotions usually are running high which tends to get in the way of people reaching that acceptance and understanding which is why people end up in couple's counseling.And the times that I wanted to have sex over having a discussion is bc I was horny and wanted to have sex and then talk about what was bothering me. I never did it to escape or avoid anything, I have no problem speaking my mind and telling you what is bothering me, I am not shy at all. Problems will always be there, is part of life and some things cannot be fixed but good sex you can count on if you have that kind of chemistry with someone. I guess my views influence my approach, I am practical and realistic. I assess if talking will actually fix the problem and if my desire to have sex is stronger than "fixing the problem right AWAY, this second." I feel everyone has flaws so your partner will have flaws and so will you and you will irritate each other and some things will not change or can't be fixed but only understood and accepted. And if you have good chemistry in bed that can really help with balancing out these issues by helping keep your connection strong but a lot of people just throw away something good bc is not perfect including me, its a compulsion almost, like self-sabotage, in the moment your emotions take over and you don't want to understand, you become stubborn. "This will not work" That is just been inflexible and not accepting the person in front of you has flaws and focusing on the negative. It turns into an all or nothing thinking that ultimately destroys something good that you actually want and are happy with but you over focus on this one thing that needs to be fixed and takes over. IP: Logged |
capricorncheriscty
Knowflake Posts: 925
From:
Registered: Nov 2017
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posted June 12, 2018 07:41 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Solar_Leo_Queen:
I think everyone is misinterpreting what I meant.It's one thing to have lack of physical affection, but another to use sex as a tool to manipulate someone. I was more talking about like instances where two partners are arguing with each other and then one of them (its usually the feminine one), tries to initiate sexual activity to make the other forget there was problem in the first place. I've also heard of girls openly giving passionate sex to someone they like thinking it will automatically make the other fall in love or commit. I do agree with water signs, but would it be like water venus? I'm thinking Venus in Scorpio or harsh Venus-Pluto aspects. But what if they didn't have these? I would think the Moon/Mercury would play into this too?
I would think that any water sign/water house/or water planet prominent in the chart can lead to be manipulative in any relationship. Speaking as someone who has Pisces MC, Mars in Pisces, and several planets and asteroids in the 8th house I can be manipulative and conniving whenever and however I want to, especially in my intimate relationships. At first, I have no shame for it because I think "who cares? as long as I got what I want?" but my Capricorn sun Aries moon later feels very guilty about it. I have met other water signs and they are even worse imo, especially a Cancer sun Pisces moon girl I know (July 21). She is just the worst sometimes when it comes to manipulating people, I hate being around her sometimes...I knew a Scorpio sun and another Pisces sun and they were also pretty bad. I think them having watery luminaries made them even worse than my case. One said she was perfectly fine with forcing her boyfriend to have sex with her if she felt like he didn't love her enough. The CancerS-PiscesM also likes to joke about forcing her partners into sexual submission. I think it is weird and one of the reasons I do not like any of them as friends anymore...They are crazy.
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capricorncheriscty
Knowflake Posts: 925
From:
Registered: Nov 2017
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posted June 12, 2018 07:48 PM
It is because water signs don't know how to let go! They're clingy messes and will do whatever it takes to feel validated in that clingy mindset, especially manipulating a lover into sexual relations to keep the passion alive (even though sex will most certainly not solve any of your problems). Don't directly tell a water sign you don't love them anymore...they'll look fine on the outside but be ploting their next hissy fit to make you feel bad about it on this inside. I know from firsthand experience lol.IP: Logged |
PixieJane
Knowflake Posts: 9465
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted June 12, 2018 09:17 PM
quote:
Originally posted by LaceyLeigh:
Really? Even after dating a super Aries?
First, I mean in MYSELF. That is, if I feel angry or fearful then I'm not horny, and don't get why some people love mixing adrenaline with sex (by intentionally ticking each other off, or engaging in risky activities to add fear, like fear of discovery, to the mix). Perhaps in some cases "rage sex" can add a lot of power that a guy might otherwise feel inhibited from expressing, "rage sex" can also be dangerous (I'd give details, but what we're allowed to share without a thread getting locked is way too random for me to know what's okay on that front). While I love the Heathers musical, including the erotic song Dead Girl Walking, she loses me a bit with "I'm hot and ****** and on the pill" (though she's not mad at him specifically) for why she wants to ride him until she breaks him (and the bed).
As for the Aries Deluxe...she is one of those that could feel lust with, or maybe even because of, her anger. She's one reason I know some are wired differently. But as for me, I tended to view her outbursts with a sense of humor and not be bothered by them after awhile. (My upbringing keeps me from sweating small stuff, and I knew in her case that her moods were like the weather, they'd change soon enough.) As long as I'm not the one angry then it's not a bother to me.
Of course there have been times I engaged in sexual activity when not in the mood...but as I see it, who hasn't? I'm certainly not some dainty princess that has to have everything perfect with candles, flower petals, and all else first, nor am I going to rail on the injustices of the world for not being perfectly suited to my taste and convenience. IP: Logged |
Radium
Knowflake Posts: 573
From:
Registered: Jul 2016
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posted June 12, 2018 09:44 PM
sex does solve everything though IP: Logged |
hypatia238
Moderator Posts: 12543
From: Mercury novile and parallel Pluto, Pluto septile Southnode
Registered: Sep 2014
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posted June 12, 2018 09:45 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Radium:
sex does solve everything though
 IP: Logged |
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