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Author
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Topic: How do some people talk & share so openly about their sex life? I don’t understand
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Leo-Cancer98
Knowflake Posts: 1050
From: Toronto,Ontario,Canada
Registered: Nov 2014
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posted March 16, 2020 04:20 PM
  
What do you think? I feel like intimacy is such a personal, private, secretive affair, that should not be discussed outside of a relationship. ------------------
Cancer Rising
2nd House Leo Sun
3rd House Leo Mercury
5th House Pluto conjunct 6th
6th House Sagittarius Moon
1st House Cancer Venus & Mars
9th House Pisces Jupiter conjunct MC. IP: Logged |
LeoSagRisingTaurusMoon
Knowflake Posts: 87
From: Once upon a time...
Registered: Nov 2019
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posted March 16, 2020 05:20 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Leo-Cancer98:
What do you think? I feel like intimacy is such a personal, private, secretive affair, that should not be discussed outside of a relationship.
I talk about it quite a lot, obviously not openly about what happens in my relationship unless I am talking to trusted friends, and I enjoy cracking spicy jokes.
I am very open about all sexual matters, from jokes to health concerns that people I am talking to could have. These are 8th house matters, and maybe the fact that I have my Leo Sun in 8th house "enlightens" those usually secretive matters. What do you have in your 8th H?
IP: Logged |
Dumuzi
Knowflake Posts: 2363
From:
Registered: Oct 2018
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posted March 16, 2020 05:33 PM
im pretty open about sex outside of naming names typically, i dont really see it as a big dealsure some stuff is private but i dont think sex necessarily is i dont see any reason to not be open about it really IP: Logged |
Dumuzi
Knowflake Posts: 2363
From:
Registered: Oct 2018
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posted March 16, 2020 05:34 PM
quote:
Originally posted by LeoSagRisingTaurusMoon:
I talk about it quite a lot, obviously not openly about what happens in my relationship unless I am talking to trusted friends, and I enjoy cracking spicy jokes.
I am very open about all sexual matters, from jokes to health concerns that people I am talking to could have.These are 8th house matters, and maybe the fact that I have my Leo Sun in 8th house "enlightens" those usually secretive matters. What do you have in your 8th H?
i dont have anything in my 8th so im not sure it's an 8th house placement thing to be open about sex IP: Logged |
Leo-Cancer98
Knowflake Posts: 1050
From: Toronto,Ontario,Canada
Registered: Nov 2014
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posted March 16, 2020 10:11 PM
quote:
Originally posted by LeoSagRisingTaurusMoon:
I talk about it quite a lot, obviously not openly about what happens in my relationship unless I am talking to trusted friends, and I enjoy cracking spicy jokes.
I am very open about all sexual matters, from jokes to health concerns that people I am talking to could have.These are 8th house matters, and maybe the fact that I have my Leo Sun in 8th house "enlightens" those usually secretive matters. What do you have in your 8th H?
Sex is ruled by the 5th & 8th House Planets & Ruler.
I have Aquarius Uranus in the 8th House. ------------------
Cancer Rising
2nd House Leo Sun
3rd House Leo Mercury
6th House Sagittarius Moon & Pluto
1st House Cancer Venus & Mars
9th House Pisces Jupiter conjunct MC. IP: Logged |
hypatia238
Moderator Posts: 13437
From: Mercury novile and parallel Pluto, Pluto septile Southnode
Registered: Sep 2014
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posted March 16, 2020 10:18 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Leo-Cancer98:
What do you think? I feel like intimacy is such a personal, private, secretive affair, that should not be discussed outside of a relationship.
"that should not be discussed outside of a relationship" hahahah I mean that sounds super old fashioned... In person I don't go around talking about my sex life but I don't think is a big deal if the topic arises and would be able to talk about it just fine without feeling awkward... Moon in the 3H rules my 8H, Venus in LEO in the 8H rules my 5H and trines my AC in SAGGY and I have mercury parallel pluto. What about your chart you think explains why you feel comfortable ONLY talking about sex with the person you are having sex with? IP: Logged |
Nadja
Knowflake Posts: 458
From: Finland
Registered: Nov 2018
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posted March 16, 2020 10:37 PM
Now... I'm asexual and not really interested in having sex with anyone. But I've never been very prudish about talking about sex. I can be rather blatant about things like masturbation and kinks etc. It might be good that I don't have any sexual relationships, because even without I tend to overshare... To be honest I blame my Mars/Mercury on the Midheaven (also parallel and out of bounds). In real life I tend to be blunt and without much of a brain-mouth filter. I also have Venus in 8th house Taurus. IP: Logged |
Dons2angelss
Knowflake Posts: 773
From: Virginia, US
Registered: Jan 2019
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posted March 16, 2020 11:21 PM
That sounds like your cancer venus/Mars and your mc in Pisces. I'm not sexual at all but I've never been shy about talking about anything. My MC is in Aquarius, Uranus in the 7H sag so I'm pretty open about things like that despite having 3 personal planets in the 12th.My ex had a cancer Mars and literally would not even go buy condoms. IP: Logged |
Plut0nian2
Knowflake Posts: 1069
From:
Registered: Apr 2014
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posted March 17, 2020 02:13 AM
I generally don't like sharing personal stuff, it was way worse when I was younger because I would avoid telling to my friends even unimportant things like that I was going to the grocery store for example, (if we happened to be on the phone that moment and they were asking where I was).
It doesn't have to do with me trusting them or not, it just comes naturally to me and it's not like I'm hiding something that would get me in trouble either. I guess it's a mix of Pluto aspects, Saturn in 8th H and Sun in 12th H. This trait has saved me from mild trouble and once saved my life for sure.So I prefer to not share (maybe with one or two people I trust a lot) but it's not like I'm shy/ashamed or afraid of doing it. It feels more like I'm protecting and respecting the other person (in this case the one I'm having sex with). On the other hand my friends (who know that my sex life is non existent) and others (who don't know) can be quite graphic actually when sharing things, some of them will say that they feel comfortable sharing with me specifically. It seems weird especially when one of my friends seeks advice from me. I'm like giirl I don't have any experience and you know it so why are you relying on my advice so much? She's like because it feels like you have lots of it and you would know what to do. Is that really all Saturn in 8th H has to offer.. 😒 Also I'm not shocked by almost anything (8th H ruler is Uranus opposite Sun and DSC) and there are very few things (they're super extreme and rare) that I find really gross, otherwise I don't find anything (that others share) weird/uncomfortable if the two (or more) people who engage in it are adults (or at least 16 and over) and they do it of their own volition. Scorpios and Cancers are naturally more secretive and shy, earth signs are prude, Pluto and Saturn aspects, 8th and 12th H placements would be the most secretive I believe. Do you have any of that?
EDIT:Sorry just realised your nick has Cancer in it. Is your Mercury in Cancer? What are your Mercury aspects? @Dumuzi Hey! I've thought about you many times while cursing Saturn (since you have many planets in cardinal signs) and it got me worried that I didn't happen to see any comments of yours in the threads I've visited these last few months, so I'm relieved to see you're alive at least😃
I had quite a few new health problems so I was visiting the forum once-twice every month or so, after that long I couldn't even remember the title of the last thread we had been commenting, (my phone stopped working late September too so the threads I've visited weren't purple anymore in my new device and I gave up). *I'm sorry OP for the off topic part* IP: Logged |
Astra
Knowflake Posts: 1092
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted March 17, 2020 03:19 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Leo-Cancer98:
What do you think? I feel like intimacy is such a personal, private, secretive affair, that should not be discussed outside of a relationship.
Perhaps people who have strong air and fire (to a lesser extent) in their charts? These types tend to be more chatty and progressive. I'm a Gemini, but Capricorn and Scorpio are dominant in my chart so I tend to be more secretive about such matters. I work in healthcare so I don't have a problem talking about sex in general and answering people's questions about it. However, I personally feel it's a bit odd for people to talk about their sex life with those who are not their sex partner. I could maybe see people asking a very close friend about advice regarding sex, but going into a lot of detail seems a bit disrespectful towards the person you are in a sexual relationship with. Sex is unique since it involves another person so when you are talking about your personal sex life, you are also talking about another person. At the very least, people should make sure their partner is ok with them talking about their sex life with other people. People think it's ok if they don't use names. However, if you tell a juicy enough story, you would be surprised how quickly people will piece together the puzzle and figure out who you are talking about. Many of my friends have been dumped over this. IP: Logged |
Leo-Cancer98
Knowflake Posts: 1050
From: Toronto,Ontario,Canada
Registered: Nov 2014
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posted March 17, 2020 10:26 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Astra:
However, I personally feel it's a bit odd for people to talk about their sex life with those who are not their sex partner. I could maybe see people asking a very close friend about advice regarding sex, but going into a lot of detail seems a bit disrespectful towards the person you are in a sexual relationship with. Sex is unique since it involves another person so when you are talking about your personal sex life, you are also talking about another person. At the very least, people should make sure their partner is ok with them talking about their sex life with other people. People think it's ok if they don't use names. However, if you tell a juicy enough story, you would be surprised how quickly people will piece together the puzzle and figure out who you are talking about. Many of my friends have been dumped over this.
Amen sis, amen. ------------------
Cancer Rising
2nd House Leo Sun
3rd House Leo Mercury
5th House Pluto conjunct 6th
6th House Sagittarius Moon
1st House Cancer Venus & Mars
9th House Pisces Jupiter conjunct MC. IP: Logged |
Moonbeth
Knowflake Posts: 531
From:
Registered: Jul 2019
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posted March 17, 2020 11:07 AM
Love your thread 😊
I find it very interesting that not sharing your sex life with others is automatically considered somehow negative, as if you're not open or comfortable or mature enough, when in fact those who have spoken in favour of this more modest behaviour didn't put tradition or unease forward but pure emotional/moral principle and humane reasons.
Just because sex was taboo for ages and the secrecy around it weaponised, doesn't mean that how a lot of people commonly talk about it and practise it nowadays is in any way healthier, it's just different. I don't think one behaviour is more liberal than the other, more evolved than the other. Silence isn’t always a fruit of repression, chosen silence is as healthy a means of expression as any loudspeaker 😊
As far as placements, you mentioned the 8th house, anything that or Scorpio could go either way, full blown tabloid sex addict or uber secretive I think... I think it's one of those areas where nurture plays a more blatant part. If your ideas are repressed in your culture, you can always freely think and keep it to yourself, there's already a form of expression in theorising and mentally exploring one's thoughts even if it’s frustrating to not be able to speak or write them, but sexuality can be trickier so I imagine the outbursts from such pressure (in one way or the other) would be exponentially more spectacular and could turn someone very private into someone exaggeratedly open, even temporarily... and vice versa. It could also plain be down to mercury being keener or not to communicate on whatever the nature and stance on sexuality actually is, like talking about not appreciating talking about it is a paradox of its own, which I find very important.
It touches all these recent debates on consent somehow…. Does talking about the subject means your personal experience is on the table as well and if not, is that fair? Those answers seem a no-brainer, but in practice, it’s usually not so simple socially to be truly comfortable and/or seen as comfortable unless you’re 100% opened or closed. Ironically Manichaean for a fifty shades of grey generation 😛
Please forgive highly likely absence of sense, confinement has attacked my system ^^IP: Logged |
hypatia238
Moderator Posts: 13437
From: Mercury novile and parallel Pluto, Pluto septile Southnode
Registered: Sep 2014
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posted March 17, 2020 09:25 PM
I normally talk about sex with people I have sex with but if a friend brings up the topic for one reason or another I approach it in a natural way, is usually a topic that is discussed in a fun light hearted way for me and is not that serious. However, I normally don't find myself having this conversation with someone unless I am going to sleep with them or am sleeping with them. Like I said in my original response I don't go around talking to people about sex. I may bring it up here in connection to venus conjunct mars in leo in the 8H since astrology can influence our styles and preferences when it comes to sex. Is fine if you are private about it but is not that serious. 8H ruler moon in the 3H opposes mercury in the 9H. I know the US tends to be more conservative in this regard and Europe more open so culture factors in too. IP: Logged |
Dumuzi
Knowflake Posts: 2363
From:
Registered: Oct 2018
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posted March 22, 2020 12:47 AM
@ Plut0nian2:
hey, i've missed you
ive been in and out lately just been in a weird place with life everything is changing but no idea where that's leading to saturn was kind of a ***** so was pluto but i learned a lot so that's cool my life is in a weird limbo been dealing with a lot but on the bright side im done with that **** and can move on so it's all good or will be either way i'll deal with it no choice  hope youre not doing too bad healthwise IP: Logged |
ana_bee
Knowflake Posts: 446
From:
Registered: Aug 2013
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posted March 22, 2020 06:42 AM
I think many people consider it to be important to talk about sex, because in the past people weren’t aloud to. It was considered a taboo topic, so there were a lot of misconceptions, fears, insecurities and also shame around that. Talking about it, exchanging information and experiences with other people, can help to alleviate the negativity, it also makes it easier to fully enjoy the intimacy, to laugh together when things don’t turn out perfect, frankly not to take everything so seriously.
IP: Logged |
kani
Knowflake Posts: 831
From:
Registered: Oct 2018
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posted March 22, 2020 11:44 AM
I think it depends how sex is being talked about. I had friends in the past who would get really detailed and graphic about their sexual experiences and that is something I prefer not to hear because I am very visual.
IP: Logged |
Moonbeth
Knowflake Posts: 531
From:
Registered: Jul 2019
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posted March 26, 2020 08:07 PM
quote:
Originally posted by kani:
I think it depends how sex is being talked about. I had friends in the past who would get really detailed and graphic about their sexual experiences and that is something I prefer not to hear because I am very visual.
Haha, kani that made me laugh! 😊😊😊 I think ana_bee was onto something. Talking about sex as a conversation is important and healthy, but the fact the conversation exists and it's open, has nothing to do with discussing and practising it like some trivial topic.
Somehow we're not very moderate with evolution, we went from not talking about it at all, letting girls think their periods were Satan coming to get them and 12 year old mothers die in child birth, to bragging about how many positions we've tried with the bartender right behind us and accepting sentences such as "I don't know him, I just blow him" are a thing.
I think the nothing of "not being a big deal" is a bit sad. We needed it to stop being the big deal it has been for ages, that was wrong, but I think it could have kept the format, it should be a big deal, just not the same deal it has been is all 😊 IP: Logged |
ULT12
Knowflake Posts: 205
From:
Registered: Jul 2019
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posted March 26, 2020 11:26 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Moonbeth:
sentences such as "I don't know him, I just blow him" are a thing.
Where is this "a thing"? Asking for a friend.IP: Logged |
Plut0nian2
Knowflake Posts: 1069
From:
Registered: Apr 2014
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posted March 28, 2020 05:17 AM
quote:
Originally posted by ULT12:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Moonbeth:
[b]sentences such as "I don't know him, I just blow him" are a thing.
Where is this "a thing"? Asking for a friend.[/B][/QUOTE]😅😅😅 IP: Logged |
Plut0nian2
Knowflake Posts: 1069
From:
Registered: Apr 2014
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posted March 28, 2020 05:58 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Dumuzi:
@ Plut0nian2:hey, i've missed you ive been in and out lately just been in a weird place with life everything is changing but no idea where that's leading to saturn was kind of a ***** so was pluto but i learned a lot so that's cool my life is in a weird limbo been dealing with a lot but on the bright side im done with that **** and can move on so it's all good or will be either way i'll deal with it no choice hope youre not doing too bad healthwise
I want to know the details 😭
but I know that if we keep going we will ruin the thread, it makes me feel bad and it's annoying for others especially the OP.
Too bad we don't have option to contact each other via pm here. I'm doing better now  IP: Logged |
kani
Knowflake Posts: 831
From:
Registered: Oct 2018
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posted March 30, 2020 11:42 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Moonbeth:
Haha, kani that made me laugh! 😊😊😊I think ana_bee was onto something. Talking about sex as a conversation is important and healthy, but the fact the conversation exists and it's open, has nothing to do with discussing and practising it like some trivial topic.
Somehow we're not very moderate with evolution, we went from not talking about it at all, letting girls think their periods were Satan coming to get them and 12 year old mothers die in child birth, to bragging about how many positions we've tried with the bartender right behind us and accepting sentences such as "I don't know him, I just blow him" are a thing.
I think the nothing of "not being a big deal" is a bit sad. We needed it to stop being the big deal it has been for ages, that was wrong, but I think it could have kept the format, it should be a big deal, just not the same deal it has been is all 😊
I agree with you. And Im also laughing about the I dont know him, I just blow him. Never heard that before IP: Logged |
Dumuzi
Knowflake Posts: 2363
From:
Registered: Oct 2018
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posted March 30, 2020 11:49 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Plut0nian2:
I want to know the details 😭
but I know that if we keep going we will ruin the thread, it makes me feel bad and it's annoying for others especially the OP.
Too bad we don't have option to contact each other via pm here. I'm doing better now
glad you're doing better, i had a disposable email and discord for that, but discord has been working like **** lately and i forgot the email should probably make a new one there aren't a whole lot of details, i'm in a limbo right now basically but it's cool i'll be fine IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 124887
From: From a galaxy, far, far away...
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 04, 2020 07:04 PM
Bump!IP: Logged |
Moonbeth
Knowflake Posts: 531
From:
Registered: Jul 2019
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posted April 09, 2020 05:41 PM
quote:
Originally posted by kani:
I agree with you. And Im also laughing about the I dont know him, I just blow him. Never heard that before
Haha I made a behaviour into an expression, but it was basically 3/5 girls I went to university with a.k.a when I stopped having friends ^^ IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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