posted March 07, 2022 02:35 AM            

I suddenly decided to finish my studies, that I left 10 years ago, simultaneously I started to dance and perform again (which was also put aside in my life 10 years ago .
The need to go back to my Self, after 10 years of having my focus on parenting and partnership , I feel this urge to express myself again more uniquely and to find a better way to balance my home life and my public /career life.

I really have trouble in my relationship with my partner. I have noticed how we avoid our real problems and don't really talk about it. We instead had a year of arguments and a lot of sex. I don't complain about the sex part, however I feel the danger it is becoming a way to avoid the real confrontation and to release the tension between us.

The thing is, I developed feelings for another men (I did not cheat on him physically, but I definitely cheated emotionally). He felt right away something was happening with me, but avoided to ask me directly (cancer mars) and instead wanted me, to come out directly by myself with what was going on (but I'm a scorpio mars, I hate when someone wants to dig something out of me). I didn't wanted to tell him, because I was trying to figure out what was really happening, and if this feelings for this other men were something more than lust and didn't want to compromise our relationship for a crush that might soon pass.
However, after 1,5years I'm lost and don't know what to do, and which road to take. I'm scared I will make a decision I will regret and that my decisions will hurt people I don't want to hurt.

At moments I feel like I could just go crazy. Luckily I have tools to keep myself together, but it's exhausting. I need more sleep than usual and am more tired than usual. It's draining me, but I just don't know how to let go and what to let go.

Not to mention I start to feel Pluto on my ascendant. I don't know how I will endure more of this🥴

My natal with current transits:
http://ibb.co/vQ2F6CP

posted March 07, 2022 06:23 AM            

pluto on your ascendant might force this hand though. better to hear it from you than for it to come to light some other way.

p.s. kind of amused with how your chart hits mine. not sure what it means, if anything even.. (sorry not helpful at all with your current predicament)

posted March 07, 2022 08:18 AM            

So I think I will do what @sauerkraut said and confront my current partner again, since I once already got it out of myself during an argument. And that's what also bothers me. He knows, and he heard me say I had feelings for someone else, but we never reopened that conversation. If the roles were reverse I sure wouldn't avoid knowing more about the situation.

I hope I will not ruin my life, but it's starting to affect me to keep this from him. I just want to be honest and then see what happens and how will I feel once this is out in the open.

@saronna
Thank you for the encouragement. I rarely despair, but I had no rest for the last 2 years and it doesn't seem to calm down anytime soon😆. So I just hope to be able to keep my **** together trough the process.

posted March 08, 2022 11:16 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by GalacticCoreExplosionV2:
+1 to what Sauerkraut said. Open, honest communication is so crucial to a healthy relationship. Even if and when that openess and honestly involves uncomfortable topics/issues/thoughts/feelings.

And generally, communicating in an open, honest, direct way is one of the main ways that we keep our heart open. Course it needs to be balanced with some consideration, sensitivity, and diplomacy as well. Too many, "boy that dress looks horrible on you" or, "boy, you're getting quite chunky lately" or something like that, doesn't quite fly or work well either.

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Isn't that a great idea...
Then people could feel again the other's warm heart and good intensions...

The mother of Love is understanding.

posted March 09, 2022 05:47 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by DeepBlue:
...made us a really cool surprise that really impressed all of us. So I just couldn't bring it up afterwards.
Ahhh this is hard 😒
...

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i hear you. maybe send a text to him and ask if you two could put aside time to talk about some stuff that has been on your mind? that way both of you could mentally/emotionally prepare for a serious conversation. will be less stressful than waiting for the right time.

quote:

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Originally posted by DeepBlue:

@sauerkraut
Waw, where are you from lol.

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posted March 09, 2022 11:21 PM            

You have progressed Moon conj progressed Ven. Both are opposed to transiting Saturn. Emotionally, you many feel distant from your partner(Sat). Saturn tends to foster a certain level of detachment.

Add to that,there is that transit of Sat to prog Mars by square.You may not feel you have the wherewithal to navigate the issues that are present in your life right now. That includes relationships.

Saturn on mars is about conserving energy and not using it in "fruitless" endeavours. So i do get the "wait and watch" approach taken- which is reasonable.

However, there will be the transit of Uranus arcing to your prog Ven/Mars square/opp respectively. There will suddenly be the urgency of change.

Either there will be circumstances that will requure you to change something NOW in the affected areas of Ven/Mars. Or your partner will initiate them.

Some kind of situation may surface that has a certain level of urgency attached to it that is unavoidable. It may result in an inconsistency to bond with each other. Or even see each other.

Ven/Mars rule the home/career life respectively.So my thinking is that one will affect the other. Being pulled by the career for instance, may mean less time spent at home etc. And this may affect the conection between you two for now?

Uranus is currently opp natal Mars. Someone is catching your attention( this may be the indicated crush spoken of). And it may be hard to resist looking at them (or others) when trans Ura squares prog Ven more closely. It's subsequent opp with Mars will make that person seem like a breath of fresh air. Very exciting.

I say , if you still love your current partner, work with the energy of Uranus and do something together to revitalise the relationship. It may not be easy-given the emotional and even spatial distance that Saturn (then Uranus) will exert between you. Maybe a small break in the relationship may also be worthwhile? For both of you to figure out if you both are still in it?

This distance may either reignite the attraction OR end it.🤷🏿‍♂️

posted March 10, 2022 06:06 AM            

Thank you all, this forum is at the moment my safe place and somehowe all your replies help me to process things better and make me feel a bit more secure.

posted March 20, 2022 11:50 AM            

With my partner we have currently tr NN conj composite chiron (it's interesting that with my crush we have composite moon on same degree as composite chiron with my partner) and tr Chiron on AC. I think in the following weeks maybe months it will be clear if we are going to stay together or not.

posted March 20, 2022 05:19 PM            

I seriously hate that I have to go there at all with him. But ugh so many women I talk to complain like "why do we have to hurt their feelings to get them to be motivated to step it up more?" Like if we ask things nice, then we didn't say or ask anything at all.....

While I do not going there with my partner, but I am proud to for having these uncomfortable convos instead of cheating or completely giving up etc.

We are still having issues. I still have a ton of resentment. We are long distance. We can only work on our issues by phone right now.

My husband is also finally talking to a therapist about his child abuse trauma.