posted May 16, 2009 07:22 PM         

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4180791/7/Shades_of_Grey

quote:

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“I’m just trying to figure you out is all.”

Shego shrugged. "Life is just a bunch of meaningless suffering. Pick a side, but good and evil are constantly working at each other, strengthening each other, at least those who are willing to let the flow strengthen them rather than be swept away in the tides. Like they say in Thailand, ‘At low tide, ants eat fish, at high tide, fish eat ants.’ There’s no real point in fighting for it or standing up for anything.”

You really don't want to answer that question, do you? She thought it, but didn't say it. Instead, she asked, “Then why were you ever a superhero? Why did you ever become a villain?”

"Because there's challenge, Kimmie! Without challenge, people like you and me wither and die! We become mediocre, become complacent, doing what others tell us. But those of us with talent, who harness our own talents rather than suppressing them or allowing others to harness them, can do well for ourselves, and become stronger than the suffering. And so what if that brings us into conflict with others? Everyone is constantly in conflict, but our conflict has a purpose, it tempers us into steel, developing our strengths and abilities even further than we once dared imagine. To try and change that is as pointless as trying to change the weather so that it's always sunny, or the law of the jungle, which will always exist in one form or another. Why waste your life on irrelevant details?”

“I don’t consider my life irrelevant,” replied Kim. “I live it, I enjoy it, and I fight the good fight. I know why I fight, but why do you?”

"How much time do you have to enjoy it? You're constantly saving the world for others. But what's in it for them? Don't you see, the people at the top who preserve the order, the order in which they are at the top and make it extremely unlikely for anyone to change that, are also villains. They just get the schools to teach their version of history, to follow orders, not question the answers that they accept, spit back out, and forget. You think you're fighting villainy, Princess, but the people at the top are pirates who rob the poor under the cover of law, while people like Drakken and me plunder those who rob society through their order...and suckers like you fight to defend those villains from us."

Kim shook her head, amazed at such a sentiment. "I'm not sure what you mean, Shego. Are you saying you’re like Robin Hood? Because I can say you most definitely are not, you’re more of a robbing hood.”

"Pirates and Emperors, Kimmie, the only difference is how many people they command. Do you even know how the current order was born?"

Skeptically, not sure she wanted to hear the answer, she said grimly, "Enlighten me."

"The order was born of pirates and warlords, the most successful ones founding dynasties before becoming inbred. They claim to lead, but they only offer stability because it's in the best interest of their business and political interests, and they'll crush crusading and rebellious do-gooders as much as people like me. Civilization was born by the strong eliminating the weak, the competent beating the incompetent, and the clever outsmarting the stupid. Then a bunch of people decided that these very values that gave birth to our society should be replaced with the philosophy that the weak should inherit the world, the justice reign instead of strength, and that the weak be protected by the strong."

Kim blinked at this uncertainly. "And this is bad because?"

"Because it's not how the world works, it never was, and it never will be. And it's the opposite of the values that GAVE us civilization in the first place. Again, look at history: exploration is caused by people wanting new resources and new markets to exploit and don’t care who they have to rob to get those resources, and nations fight to increase the economic dominance of their ruling elites, and wars are fought to protect current holdings and to seize new ones. And then those that lead can't lead because everyone is too afraid to tell them the truth for fear of losing their jobs or even their property, freedom and their very lives. Those with families to think of are especially worried. So they tell the leaders whatever the leaders want to hear, which means leaders make decisions based on misinformation, not at all grounded in reality. And for good reason: those who kiss ass are promoted, while those who don't learn to play the game are kept down if not gotten rid of."

Frowning, Kim muttered, "I'm so glad I didn't have you for social studies."

Shego continued as if Kim hadn't spoken. "Oh, and get this! Those who kiss ass AND prove themselves capable are promoted until they stop being efficient, and then they aren't raised anymore, so that people are not only giving their bosses and leaders information divorced from reality, but they are then raised to their level of incompetence. But you can't point this out because that's saying the leaders made a mistake, and they don't want to hear that. So everyone plays the game, tries to minimize the inevitable damage, find acceptable scapegoats which will be those willing to report the facts when available, and then go home and medicate against their world, and the world at large, that's going to hell in a hand basket."

Kim shook her head. "I think you're just trying to make yourself feel better by saying those who set up Global Justice are misguided, or at least no worse than you."

"Size matters, Princess. When only a few act this way, like Drakken and his henchmen, it's villainy over which people tear their garments, but when MANY act this way because the villains at the top ordered it, it's glorious and they hold parades over it. When someone shoots someone over their gang colors, they're seen as murderers, but when someone shoots someone over their nation's colors, they're seen as heroes, with holidays and statues dedicated to them. People are taught that if they, as individuals, steal or kill on their own initiative, they're evil, but if they REFUSE to help the powers that be to steal and kill, then they're cowards and unpatriotic. The message is self-sacrifice, you do not exist for yourself, you exist to serve those in power, and they should roll over like a pathetic dog when kicked because the leg breakers are 'just doing their job.' People pay protection money to the racket, and even choose to become racketeers themselves because they'll be hailed as long as they're on the winning side. All the while, the gifted, the innovators, the courageous are shackled, unless their talents can be put to use for the powers that be. That is, the SUCCESSFUL villains."

"So maybe I should change sides," said Kim sarcastically, "just join with you and Drakken."

Shego shrugged. "Should Dr. D ever take over the world, it won't be any different beyond the cosmetic changes. Many revolutions that take place all the time are more violent and disruptive. Besides, Dr. D just wants people to recognize him as a genius. He doesn't really care about taking over the world except that it will prove to everyone else that he's the smartest man in the world, and that those who rejected him were wrong to do so."

"You mean," asked Kim incredulously, "that if like my dad were to tell Drakken that he was sorry for laughing at him, Drakken might give up his plans for global domination?"

Shego laughed a little. "Possible, Possible. But you know how ingrained habits can be. He'd need new habits to replace the old ones." She shrugged. "It's not about choosing a side with me, I'm not into any idiotology." Shego intentionally mispronounced "ideology" as "eh-dee-otology." "And I have fun. People think I should constantly give myself up for them? No way, Princess. I live for me. That's what my clothes mean. Green and black, like my skin and hair. It's my personal flag for the nation of me."

"More like your freak flag," replied Kim.

Shego smiled slightly and continued. "I refuse to play your game and I play my own instead, because it's better, it's truer, and it's in my own best interests. I am all that I need, and I have all the strength I need. And if I want to enjoy a chocolate sundae, have some fun with guys or even girls, or indulge my vanity, so be it. At least my life isn't meaningless to ME, I’m living it FOR me, not for someone else. And since we're all born alone, and die alone, 'me' is all that matters anyway. The meaning I give it is all that matters."

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