posted September 18, 2009 05:36 AM         

After I found out the news I was pregnant, I was greatly devastated and really down for a while. I'm in my late 30s and I thought being pregnant was not a good idea. My friends were shocked and asked me why I didn't use any birth control. I didn't take the being pregnant again all too well. It is starting over again.(At the time it was my initial feelings about being pregnant - I now really love having a baby around the house again) But despite that in some way I was happy that my only child at the time would have a little sibling to play with her - it was sad seeing her all alone with no other kids to play with at home here.

Back in May, I was at a function and this couple - same age as me were also there and expecting. A friend of mine introduced me to the husband who told me that they were due on August 6th and it took them 3 years of trying before they got pregnant. He went on to talk about fertility problems.

(My heart goes out to those couples who have problems having children. It breaks my heart to see folks in that boat and if there was anything I could give, if I could ever give something - it would be the gift of fertility. I have no problems being fertile but pregnancy can have a life threatening effect on me and I have to be hospitalized a few times during the course of it.)

There went my harsh self judgment of being pregnant at my age. I got to see the reality of others and learned a few things about myself. I did not feel so isolated and seeing other people my age in a similar boat left me feeling at peace within.

I just wanna say to this couple Thank you for sharing your story with me cause it has helped me come to peace with myself and where I was at with the pregnancy. I don't know if I still would have gone on being depressed about being pregnant if I didn't come across this couple.

I'm soooooooo afraid of opening up on such a personal issue or an experience that I have gone through.....BUT this profound experience made a difference to me and I think it would be important to say something. But then I think that I don't think most would even care to hear this, but maybe I'm wrong about it. (Mercury is in the 12th house, so is my Saturn)

So I have come to ask for input on this matter cause I'm uncertain as to what to do about this......now since I have put this out there, maybe I can get some sleep now and rest. My mind has been racing over this.

posted September 18, 2009 06:06 AM         

He said that it is popular at funeral services to have box in which letters and thoughts are placed, addressed to the deceased person.

I thought: better to say it before.

Have I done so? Yes, I have, to one person, and now have peace in my soul.

For people I know less well, I have done similar, reaching out to say 'thinking of you' or whatever. The written word tends to work in this regard. I have done this to three people in recent times, no regrets yet.

p.s

posted September 18, 2009 06:13 AM         

I think our society, in general, is focused on bringing up negative issues and hurts readily, but not nearly as often with the good stuff.

posted September 18, 2009 03:18 PM         

The only way that I am able to get in contact with them is via Facebook.

posted September 28, 2009 03:24 AM         

Well folks.....here is what I wrote for now....it's not fully done yet....

I would like to sincerely thank you for going to the reunion back in May, as your presence has done me the world of good. People can have a deep effect on other without one knowing it or doing anything. Here is my story for you.........

I was deeply distraught and devastated about being 40ish and pregnant at my age. I thought it was the worst thing in the world that could ever happen to me and I found it difficult to accept where I was in life with the pregnancy. Before the reunion I so deeply dreaded showing up pregnant and wondered what would others say (I'm a highly sensitive gal, the slightest harsh word could put me in tears - on the inside). I didn't want to really go but some friends of mine were going there, so I thought why not.

I was socializing a bit when I first saw you and your husband come in. I first noticed that you were expecting as well. It was like a lightening bolt had hit me and my negative and critical self view of being pregnant at 40ish seemed to disappear off into the distance. Maybe I was so overjoyed to discover that I was not alone with being pregnant at my age. Your presence has had such a profound effect on me and I have never really experienced an attitude adjustment like that before.

During the course of the evening I had a chance to speak to your husband - of course any pregnant woman running into another pregnant couple brings up curiosity and wanting to connect on some level). He had told me that you were due on August the 6th and you both spent 3 years of trying to conceive. He said that you were expecting a boy and that this will be the first boy born into his family for a while. He was pretty excited about that. I have never felt so much happiness and excitement coming from one person as I felt coming from your hubby (I said I was sensitive and can feel things deeply).

Stories of having problems having children have always touched my heart in some way cause I feel so much for folks who are in that boat - I've had friends in that boat. If fertility were a gift, I've give mine away in a heartbeat. Myself, I have no problems in that department, however pregnancy can be a life threatening condition for me and have to spend time in hospital seeking treatment. I've carried two children to term and have had a quick delivery.