Lindaland
  Lindaland Central 2.0
  Parents, do your worst! (Page 1)

Post New Topic  Post A Reply
profile | register | preferences | faq

UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone!
This topic is 2 pages long:   1  2 
next newest topic | next oldest topic
Author Topic:   Parents, do your worst!
wheels of cheese
Knowflake

Posts: 1461
From:
Registered: May 2009

posted December 09, 2009 05:01 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for wheels of cheese     Edit/Delete Message
"

IP: Logged

PeaceAngel
Knowflake

Posts: 3955
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted December 09, 2009 05:33 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for PeaceAngel     Edit/Delete Message
You are not alone in the psychotic parents realm. I see my mother once a year. Following a 10 hour drive, within 30 seconds of walking through the door, the first thing she can muster to say to her only child (every frickin' year) is that I still haven't lost weight. She's really really thin and likes to make these comparisons to make herself feel good. This happens every year!

IP: Logged

PeaceAngel
Knowflake

Posts: 3955
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted December 09, 2009 05:40 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for PeaceAngel     Edit/Delete Message
I've got a good one. My father was an alcoholic who would wake up and have a drink first thing between 3 and 4am every day and would drink for the rest of the day - and drive us around. My mother would put me in the front passenger seat with him. Stellar effort.

IP: Logged

starkiss1
Knowflake

Posts: 1278
From:
Registered: Jul 2009

posted December 09, 2009 06:52 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for starkiss1     Edit/Delete Message
don't talk about mine as it brings screaming nightmares and i am no spring chicken!
She was(is)the most god awful woman on earth.
Wheels - at least your mother did not wring your neck, lol!

IP: Logged

wheels of cheese
Knowflake

Posts: 1461
From:
Registered: May 2009

posted December 09, 2009 06:56 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for wheels of cheese     Edit/Delete Message
a

IP: Logged

wheels of cheese
Knowflake

Posts: 1461
From:
Registered: May 2009

posted December 09, 2009 07:01 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for wheels of cheese     Edit/Delete Message
he he, I might wring hers next time starkiss!

IP: Logged

GypseeWind
Moderator

Posts: 3784
From: Dayton,Ohio USA
Registered: May 2009

posted December 09, 2009 10:43 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for GypseeWind     Edit/Delete Message
OMG!!!! wheels! God blessed you with a stellar sense of humour! Do you even know the visual I got with "spaniel ears?" I'm very imaginative, that one went a long way, thanks for the laugh, and the choking on my O.J.

*my lovely Mother said to me @ Thanksgiving.....

"so how much weight have you lost with this flu?"

I said, "Last month at the doctors, I weighed 102 lbs."

"huh? really? I weigh 116, I wonder why you look fatter than me? That is so strange. It must be your "man arms" I tried to tell you when you were younger, not to lift weights and play all those sports. I said when you got old, it would just turn to flab"

DOES THIS WOMAN NOT COME WITH BRAIN TO MOUTH FILTER??????

Now if I said that to HER, OMG!! There would be tears. And drama. and....oh, you get the picture!!!!!

*as far as the drinking/driving/seat belts..I think I have you guys beat so far. My Grandpa taught me to drive when I was 11, so I could pick him up from the tavern. Had me my own giant pillow to sit on to see over the steering wheel and everything. Then when the other family members found out, I became THE taxi service. lol. How the hell do we survive to adulthood, makes one wonder...?

IP: Logged

katatonic
Knowflake

Posts: 4685
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted December 09, 2009 11:22 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for katatonic     Edit/Delete Message
ah the good old days when you could write your own ticket and the police would ignore you!

wheels, do you think your parents inspired your terrific sense of humour? there IS a silver lining in most family horror stories!

my mom dealt a good uppercut with her tongue too at times but generally she was a-ok. my little sister, however, seems to think that being a nurse makes her my BIG sister. either that or she is sharing her body with the "crusty" side of our mom!

IP: Logged

leapinglemur14
Knowflake

Posts: 438
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted December 09, 2009 11:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for leapinglemur14     Edit/Delete Message
.

IP: Logged

starkiss1
Knowflake

Posts: 1278
From:
Registered: Jul 2009

posted December 10, 2009 04:29 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for starkiss1     Edit/Delete Message
Gypsy, i don't know how the hell we survive to adulthood, but i have a great excuse to get plastered every now and then and blame my traumatic childhood lol!
Leaping, great accent! Could hear it from here, i live amongst greek pips.

IP: Logged

starkiss1
Knowflake

Posts: 1278
From:
Registered: Jul 2009

posted December 10, 2009 04:43 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for starkiss1     Edit/Delete Message
I don't understand my parenting houses at all - in the 4th i have jolly jupiter which is no flipping way my monster mother. In my 10 th i've only NN, which is squared from both sides by sun,pluto, uranus and saturn.And i had the most terrifying childhood with the issues of which i am still dealing(or rather not dealing).Can the squares to NN indicate my monstrosity of a mother?

IP: Logged

GypseeWind
Moderator

Posts: 3784
From: Dayton,Ohio USA
Registered: May 2009

posted December 10, 2009 10:12 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for GypseeWind     Edit/Delete Message
I don't know about your NN, Starkiss, but I too have Jupiter in the 4th (in leo) and I have to laugh at the description about my wonderful childhood! I look behind me to make sure, "are you tawkin' to me?"
Funny though, that my Jupiter is in Leo and that is Mom's Asc. Or just a coincidence.

But lately, I'm thinking that Astrology going into childhood and family stuff is just painting with too broad a brush. Cause there are so many variables.

I was horrified the other day, reading something about Capricorn Moon men. I was just looking at it because my son has this placement, and it said something to the effect of Capricorn men having issues with undemonstrative (sp?) mothers, and not feeling loved!!! Bahahahahaha! OMG, that boy is the apple of my eye, and has been since day one. So, I dunno, grain of salt and all that.

*where you been Starkiss? I thought you left, I missed you, and have thought about you often*

IP: Logged

katatonic
Knowflake

Posts: 4685
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted December 10, 2009 01:03 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for katatonic     Edit/Delete Message
leaping it sounds like your mom at least has a sense of humour about it all..!

IP: Logged

Valus
Knowflake

Posts: 3252
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted December 10, 2009 01:08 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Valus     Edit/Delete Message

I'm sorry you were hurt, wheels.

But, look at it this way:

My parents wound my vanity often.

I find it's unnecessary to believe in myself,
but only to believe in something.

Preferably, something more noble than myself.

IP: Logged

blue moon
Knowflake

Posts: 1344
From: U.K
Registered: Apr 2009

posted December 10, 2009 04:58 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for blue moon     Edit/Delete Message
It can take just one comment to trigger off a long path of insecurity.

My parents, no, never really been bad offenders in this respect, certainly not with personal appearance. As I get older I care even less about comments of this ilk, and my impression of other people rests more on things such as their ability to say something sensible, intelligent or show decent manners. Making an effort to look smart if I take them out somewhere nice is appreciated, that kind of thing, but that is as far as I really go with looks.

But like anybody, I can sometimes get rattled by needlessly persistent comments such as telling me I look disgustingly thin, which I got a lot of in my waif-like youth, demanding if I was anorexic. Now I have filled out a bit I get the word 'slim', I just say it is genetic. As then now. Some people are big, some people are small. It shouldn't be such a big thing and certainly not a competition. That's just sad.

IP: Logged

Coffee
Knowflake

Posts: 1017
From: Leeds
Registered: Apr 2009

posted December 11, 2009 02:47 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Coffee     Edit/Delete Message
I wont tell you what he said about astrology, just like he wont tell anyone that he takes my sports tips.

Upon forgetting to clean the crumbs up of the breakfast bar, he shouts like a psychotic madman (not out of place) at Me. Quite funny when looking round to not see the floor because its covered in rubbish and **** and **** and cobwebs all over the place.

Made it clear I, and sometimes others, were not "planned"

When very young, upon not cleaning the crumbs from the breakfast bar he would threaten to leave me out of will if I did that or that or that or this again.

Not my problem he had kids. Thank him for giving Me life and hate him for helping **** Me, and no doubt the other two, up

Shouts If I do the washing up, shouts if I dont. There is a good Man in there somewhere, but I guess he has had the same when and just takes it out on us. Patterns.

He could get help, but never will.

IP: Logged

starkiss1
Knowflake

Posts: 1278
From:
Registered: Jul 2009

posted December 11, 2009 12:07 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for starkiss1     Edit/Delete Message
Gypsy-
Missed you too,i was reading but didn't feel like writing, you know?
I am often laughing at myself when i think that i lived in terror of my mother for the last 40 odd years.Btw,my jupiter is the ruler of my 10th(parent)sits in my 4th(another parent)in Gemini which is my father's solar house. I read these things are not a coincidence.

IP: Logged

T
Knowflake

Posts: 2437
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted December 11, 2009 12:48 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for T     Edit/Delete Message
Amazing how screwed up these people can be, isnt it?

IP: Logged

T
Knowflake

Posts: 2437
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted December 11, 2009 12:50 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for T     Edit/Delete Message
I've had two doozies for parents. No longer a part of my life. I feel sorry for my sibling, that he had to have them too and that he is no longer a part of my life either.
It's a crazy world out here.

IP: Logged

T
Knowflake

Posts: 2437
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted December 11, 2009 01:00 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for T     Edit/Delete Message
wheels, my mom used to like to point out when i had a pimple. Gee, thanks mom. It's not like i didnt see it in the mirror today. She liked to point out when I looked tired too and say things of this nature: "Youre not wearing that there, are you?" Actually, yes, I am, mom. Did you think i planned on taking it off and going naked or that i brought an outfit to change into i thought you would approve of? Or that I'm dressed this way just to mess with your head and embarass you? And there was never anything wrong with my choices in clothing either. Ah well. Glad that's over now.

IP: Logged

starkiss1
Knowflake

Posts: 1278
From:
Registered: Jul 2009

posted December 11, 2009 04:05 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for starkiss1     Edit/Delete Message
mine used to beat me up with a chair and a dog lead ha

IP: Logged

Lyra
Knowflake

Posts: 199
From: London, UK
Registered: May 2009

posted December 11, 2009 05:28 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lyra     Edit/Delete Message
(Mother, when I was a child) :

"I'd rather have animals than have you." (Yeah, Hitler was an animal-lover and a vegetarian and German too. My ex-husband noticed that one)

"You need me. I don't need you." (God. What prompted that? Who says stuff like that?)

"You're very expensive to keep. If I ate as much as you I would be as big as a house." (Mother was anorexic. I have a healthy appetite and hollow legs )

"I'm going to throw you out." (All the time. She never let up with this one. I stayed put deliberately, just to see what would happen. Plus I didn't have the confidence to go anywhere else.)

(As an adult) :

"That birthday card you got your cousin was cr*p". (Cheers Mum, at least SOMEONE remembered her birthday, and it most definetely wasn't you!)

"Couldn't you get me a birthday card with roses on it? I hate lilies. They look like they've been plucked from a funeral." (You're so grateful, Mum!)

"How are you doing in your LITTLE job?" (When I was working f/t in an executive position - she hadn't worked for 40 years).

"Sorry, I opened all your mail. I didn't see the address on the envelopes." (Okay, Mum, I know you're a bird-brain. But not stupid enough not to see the addressee's name on ALL the envelopes and open them ALL and READ THEM ALL TOO! And no, you did not need to put the phone down on me when I told you off about it, as if it was my fault, because you knew you had done wrong - you were just trying to see how far you could push the boat out, as usual!! Cr*p, cr*p and more cr*p, Mum! You have the mind of a 5-year-old.)

(After I answered her back - she could not take debate: )"PLEASE let me beat you!!!" (With a wooden spoon. When I was 21. Yep, you guessed it. My mother is a fruitcake and then some. In case you didn't already realize.)

"I don't care if you die." (Well I think we can say that's mutual then. God, I hope you make it quick, and I hope you go before my Dad, because you are just gonna be bloody impossible if he goes before you. I hope you end up in a state nursing home. I really hope you get your come-uppance on that one - it's the thing you least want to happen - and I won't come to see you, ever.)

Face it, Mother. You reap what you sow. I don't need you either. I know I ruined your life and all that when I came along and then my father buggered off with another woman 18 months later. He came back, of course, but somebody had to be blamed and guess who that was? It's your birthday today and my Dad rang me up today to remind me (out of duty, I suppose, since I would imagine people had given up doing stuff for you out of love). He said: "It's Mother's birthday today" and I replied glibly: "GOOD FOR HER!"

That's what I think of you. I don't feel anything for you. You are a hopeless human being. It's been suggested I myself get psychological help, but I think to myself: why should I get help for what are essentially YOUR problems, which you have always tried to foist on me? NO WAY! I'm aware just how much you'd love ME to have counselling so you could spread rumours about what a loony "I" am. NO WAY am I going to bow to a worm like you. You are a liar, a cheat and a complete failure.

Much easier to sever the cords and just say diddly-squat to each other, don't you think?

IP: Logged

Lyra
Knowflake

Posts: 199
From: London, UK
Registered: May 2009

posted December 11, 2009 05:41 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lyra     Edit/Delete Message
Do you know what,

it seems a lot of us (30s - 40s) have problems with our parents acting out. I hear it everywhere, all the time.

Do you suppose it's because recent generations of parents are more spoiled - because I find the descriptions of a lot of parents in recent years as matching up to extremely selfish, covetous and discontented people with what seems to be a general lack of a moral and emotional compass inside them. I call it the "Beatles" generation; as far as I can see, they've turned things topsy-turvy for every generation since the 60s, so thank you John, Paul, George and Ringo!

IP: Logged

GypseeWind
Moderator

Posts: 3784
From: Dayton,Ohio USA
Registered: May 2009

posted December 11, 2009 10:43 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for GypseeWind     Edit/Delete Message
Yep, Lyra I do think so.

The "baby boomers" (please no disrespect meant if you are one, I freely admit to generalizing here, using only the lives of myself and those around me ~ no offense)

were the first generation to make certain things socially acceptable. True they did pave the way for womens rights and things of this nature. They were raised with a different mentality toward family life and values. They chose to rebel big time.

Those of us in our 30's and 40's are the result of that rebellion. We grew up in broken homes, with drug addicted parents, in poverty, eating tv dinners.

Again, generalizing here, but do you ever feel like the guinea pig for the whole baby boomer generation?

And what does one do when they are grown, and have nothing left to rebel about? They seem embittered to me, and more dissatified than other generations.

Think of things that were invented during the times of our moms, the times we were children. Microwaves, styrofoam tableware, disposable diapers.

I have told my mother, during heated debates, that she comes from the "throw it away" generation.

Marriage isn't working? divorce.
Problems with children? give them away.
Don't like your job? quit.

My Mother will go on binges where she goes through the entire house and purges her belongings. Then she puts them to the trash. This sort of waste incenses me! I tell her that she could be dropping these things off to the battered womens shelter, or the homeless, even the dumpsters marked for Good Will donation, but she can't be bothered.
It's always, "eh, I don't need this anymore, so I'm pitching it."

I went through her supposed "trash" one day, to find her photo albums of my brothers and I when we were children, why in the world would someone throw that out?

I was so angry, and when I told her if she didn't want the photos, she should of let me or someone know, because we would of loved to have them, and she said, "well, I thought it would hurt your feelings if you knew I was getting rid of them."

I don't know, it's just 'no muss, no fuss, figure it out for yourself' with them.

Then there are times when she becomes very melancholy about the past, and she tells me that her generation was screwed up because of the Vietnam War. My Mother never went to Vietnam, nor did my father. But they went to protests all the time. I asked her what she remembered about the protest, what was the collective feeling, etc...

she said, "Nothing, we were all stoned."

My two cents. Sorry if I sound bitter. I love my Mom, it's just...I dunno, I think I would of done better being born either sooner or later then when I was.

IP: Logged

Dervish
Knowflake

Posts: 625
From:
Registered: May 2009

posted December 11, 2009 10:49 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dervish     Edit/Delete Message
Nope, not the 60s.

Remember, until there were laws against it, parents sent their little children to work at factories in droves knowing damn well they could lose their fingers or become permanently crippled, and working under such conditions that many of us wouldn't. But hey, it brought in drinking money (no, the children didn't get to spend their own money, or even get a say on what went on in the home). (And the reasons the laws were passed against it was because the unions couldn't compete against child labor, as they themselves refused to work under the same conditions as children.)

There used to be a product on the market called "Mother's Little Helper" which used opium to quiet children that mothers gave from infants on up (and at a time when opium addiction was a plague on the land, so parents KNEW what they were doing). 'Course while dosing your children with opium is illegal today, parents since moved on to use TV and now psyche meds, too.

One reason that Prohibition got support was all the drunken fathers who had their children get them their booze, even in the dirty, dangerous bars, as well as then abandoning (or chasing off in a drunken rage) so many of them to the streets, especially after they couldn't be made to work in the factories anymore.

And an important part of having children, at least until recently (somewhat), was to have small people with a lot of energy you could boss around to do the chores and later take care of the parents in retirement. (This is actually part of the problem in China with the "one child" policy because every family wanted a son as the son takes care of his family as he gets older--ie, selfish motivations to have children).

And in my own family, a long tradition dating before the Great Depression was that children did the most chores on the farm but also ate LAST with whatever scraps were left ('course that's why many learned to fish, make polk salad, pick their own fruit, etc).

So, no, selfishness is nothing new.

IP: Logged


This topic is 2 pages long:   1  2 

All times are Eastern Standard Time

next newest topic | next oldest topic

Administrative Options: Close Topic | Archive/Move | Delete Topic
Post New Topic  Post A Reply
Hop to:

Contact Us | Linda-Goodman.com

Copyright © 2010

Powered by Infopop www.infopop.com © 2000
Ultimate Bulletin Board 5.46a