posted May 28, 2010 07:12 PM         

I asked someone else about this and she reckons blokes just want you to cry when they get all dominant, instead of arguing back - it's almost as if they cannot stand someone disagreeing with them for even one nanosecond.

I went to an all-girls' school for a while where we had some male teachers and they used to get angry INCREDIBLY quickly - even then I wondered whether they were going through a mid-life crisis, but I now realize that this short fuse seems to be present in a lot of men (and young men as well - not just the ones over 35).

Why do they do it?

posted May 29, 2010 02:02 AM         

*shrug*

quote:

---

If someone.. be them male or female, decides to start b1tching at me, I just try to listen to their rant and tell my side, but when it looks like it's going to be a balls to the walls arguement, I'd rather leave the other person for awhile to let them calm down.

---

Same here. This works well with most people.
I completely walk out of the situation - through the nearest exist - so they can cool off.

Usually (with people close to me) ^^ once it all blows over, they apologize and I do also and we make up.

posted May 29, 2010 04:18 PM         

My boss is a Gemini (I think) and took a bit of an issue with a minor detail in my work (which is actually not typical of most Gem bosses I've worked for, they are usually pretty chilled, I think he must have some Taurus or Cancer or even Aries in him from the way he acts...anyway) - so I just ignored him as I thought "sod you, you are so disorganized anyway and I do ENOUGH to save your bacon" - so he kept on about needing to contact this client, and eventually I just wanted to shut him up, and said "OK! I'll phone this client NOW!!" - as in, offering a solution (i.e. solve problem, so expect nagger to shut up). Got through to client and got feedback, no problem. When I came off the phone, he was STILL nagging me, so I said "FINE! I'll do things the way you want them, so there won't be any quibbles in future!" - which you would think would equal problem solved. But the guy was just infuriated by that stage, and started kicking the bins around the office like a football. Now, he is a bit immature anyway - but sometimes I wonder if blokes have experienced women like me before, and whether it's something not necessarily to do with WHAT I say but the way I say it. I have Mars in Gem BTW (verbal aggression?)

The last but one office job I had, I crossed swords with a Scorpio boss who was the devil incarnate, and whom I hated on sight - this guy had been to borstal and was super-aggressive - and actually he got plenty of people cheeking him back, because they probably felt they had nothing to lose and were going to get fired anyway. I left after a week, as I think, if I hadn't, I would have thrown him out of the window!!

Some women really do think men are God, I remember when I went to see a male foreign friend of mine (Pisces)some years back. We were having a discussion, and I was disagreeing with him, and his girlfriend (Sadge) was really shocked that I could openly disagree with him (she was a sensitive soul). He reckoned she was "too sweet for this world" - personally I think it worked well for him because he didn't bother to go out to work, and played on her personality weaknesses and sense of inferiority - she did a job to support them, whilst he went off and did whatever he pleased - therefore he, in a sense, deliberately kept her from focusing on her own artwork, so he would come over as the "superior" partner and artist! I see so much of this being repeated time and time again by ostensibly "nice" blokes and I just want to scream at the women, "look, don't you see how you're allowing him to control you!"

I did have a bit of a moan at one stage to this particular friend about not being able to find a bloke and he said: "You're a very smart woman - and I'm not sure how many blokes could stand up to that". I've also been out with a creative (Scorpio) and whilst our arguments about creative stuff were quite productive, it meant the relationship couldn't last.

HM!

posted May 29, 2010 08:44 PM         

As a bonus observation, those (women, too) who yell "**** " as often as they can aren't emphasizing what they're saying so much as giving their brain precious seconds to think of the next word they want in the same way a child will say, "Um."

That said, I do recall when I experimented in debating on a board just out of curiosity. When I presented myself as a man, people there suddenly treated my views with more respect and were less likely to insult me instead of debate me. In fact, I'd have continued the practice but I use too many real life examples so that would be impossible to do in the long run (and there are just too many ways to trip up, and I think an assertive effeminate man is even more threatening to many men than an assertive woman). I've also noticed that guys get mocked mercilessly if they get beat by a girl in all kinds of contests, and what's a disagreement but more competition? They (*) can't let themselves be beaten by a girl!

(*In case it isn't obvious, I'm speaking in general terms, not painting all men with the same brush.)

As for the guys who pretend to be nice while being utter jerks, you might appreciate some of the commentary to be found here:
http://www.heartless-bitches.com/rants/niceguys/ng.shtml

posted May 29, 2010 11:15 PM         

We just talk loudly.

It's in the genes.

A long time in the past, men learned women have hearing disabilities and adjusted our vocal decibel output accordingly.

posted May 29, 2010 11:30 PM         

I'd say it is your Gemini Mars - you are very *vocal* about it.

I have Capricorn Mars conjunct Neptune. I'm usually quiet but my words are cutting and sarcastic (if it gets to that).

Does this bother you?

I mean - if you like fighting matches.. then it's all good.

posted May 30, 2010 04:16 AM         

Bottom line - most men over 35 or women! - will be set in their ways....and attracting what they are used to.
For me? I attract men who are terrified of shouting. I don't always shout but my voice rises when I am annoyed/****** . So what? It's not the end of the world. If you're not resorting to name-calling or whatever, then it's fine.

It isnt the shouting I have a problem with - it's the deliberate wounding. You try and deliberately hurt me JUST because you are upset...then I'm after blood.

posted June 01, 2010 04:37 AM         

Why shout?
To let you know they are the the leader (or one of) the pack. Or just male, doing what blokes have done for ages...listen to society. Challenging a person can reflect badly (for them) in terms of intelligence and social status amongst peers (if they get outwitted by a girl, or beaten at sports by one - I have)

As you are attractive (you say) they could just fancy you, which could mean this is really bragging masked by concern. Are you a Man?

The work guy sounds a twit.

posted June 01, 2010 04:00 PM         

(my ipod might be too loud, you will have to speak up)

(btw- glad to see you in LLC2 more good buddy, haven't had time to catch up in your corner of the world lately)

posted June 01, 2010 05:01 PM         

I say these things, I don't know why I say them, and why should I be surprised if they shout at me, yes, yes, I know all that. Perhaps I've answered my own question here (cough, cough). But I CANNOT be passive to save my life. Now our office manager - she is TOTALLY the opposite (I swear she's a Taurus or Libra) - and my boss's friend - she is very passive and joins in all the drinking and everything, which I don't - yet he says the RUDEST things about her behind her back - and she's supposed to be his FRIEND!!

posted June 01, 2010 05:09 PM         

my hubby laughs about it and sometimes when he talks i ask him will there be a quiz later, because i am having a hard time staying with you here.

the thing is - guy stuff doesnt interest me all that much. tools, machines, i don't care how stuff works, nor how stuff is made, nor how stuff is fixed.

that passive listening thing! i love you Coffee. i really do. so easy to master. as long as there isn't a quiz later, everybody is happy. no yelling.

posted June 01, 2010 07:29 PM         

It's not coming through.

posted June 01, 2010 10:39 PM         

That's goes beyond sick and wrong! It's Wrongsick!

posted June 02, 2010 11:39 AM         

'n that porche 4 by 4 .. YEECH !!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

posted June 02, 2010 01:52 PM         

You also do not want a stone silent Scorpio.
I agree with CPN on the silence thing.
When my Dad got really quiet, EVERYTHING, even the air got still. Truly frightening.