posted November 26, 2010 03:36 PM
None of you know me. You resent me, though, that's for sure. And, also, you've also seen me in one or two aspects - anger and resentment...I am not going to shirk off responsibility for what you may think of me. In fact, I'm glad that you got to see the side of me that does not want to have relationships with others - if they amount to name calling and bitterness.
I'm not going to hide my "ugly" side or pretend to be innocent, in order to be liked. I am also not going to claim to be sympathetic to your lost relationships, because I do not feel sympathetic.
From what I've seen in a small amount of time (a very small time, pointed out, time and time, again) is that in spite of appearing to be united, you were also backbiting, conflicted, judgmental, and at odds with each other way before any of this came to pass.
The reason this fell apart so quickly was because the bonds were made of fine threads - not thick bonds like they have been portrayed in eulogies.
If these relationships with Lindaland, and Randall were SO important to you, why would you abandon them so quickly?
Why would you turn tail and run at the first sign of conflict?
Why would you say the most negative, instead of including the positives, as well?
Why was it so easy, over a week's time, with very new people, easy for you to destroy your own home?
Why? Because, you, also had your splinter of resentments to stick in... you had your own issues that were unreconciled, you had your anger to express, and in spite of lingering here, weren't fully committed.
I am just one person. I have no motives. I have nothing to gain. I stay here because of a few reasons, but certainly not because of loving bonds.
I am new, and I have no close ties to anyone here, at all - in spite of forging out nice, new relationships with complete strangers.
But, what I've noticed is how quickly bonds can break down and be destroyed. Over something strange and new.
What I really want to know, after all of this anger and resentment now focused on me - is...
If these relationships were so important to you, why would you not dig your feet in and stay? Why would you not find a way to be united, be peaceful, and buffer the effects of the "new and strange" in order to keep your home at Lindaland?
Why if your castle of camelot was SO GREAT, was it destroyed so easily and so quickly?