posted January 28, 2012 12:20 PM            

Make the ‘Land of Tears’ and integral part of your life because it has enormous benefits. So when the deep sadness comes over you, let it be like a warm blanket.

So understand that if tears do not come easily, it’s not that the tears are not there, it’s because they are being repressed in some way, either because we were taught that crying is bad and/or because we don’t want to face the depth of our own pain. Some of the signs of unshed tears are……..

Anger, depression, apathy, indifference, fatigue, boredom, avoidance of unhappy realities of life, pseudopositive thinking, guilt, shame, an excessive need to be busy, negativity, fear, substance abuse, an underlying sadness even when things seem to be going well.

All of the above is a form of “psychological numbing.” Unresolved sorrow is one of the biggest pieces of baggage we can carry around with us day in and day out. Carrying this huge river of tears within us with no release obviously prevents us from moving forward in life, prevents us from being the best that we can be, and keeps us exhausted and out of touch with what it truly important in our lives.

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• Who has not at times felt rejected, unloved, helpless, lonely, and not quite good enough?
• Who has not cried at the unfairness of so many happenings in their lives?
• Who has not inwardly prayed that things like death and cancer and nuclear war won’t happen to them and theirs?
• Who has not had to come to terms with the fact that there are times we have to say goodbye to those we love the most?
• Who has not witnessed all the pain, suffering and destruction that exists in this world?
• Life is about facing all this and so much more.

Sad things and happy things come from and go the ‘Land of Tears.’ Having heard the expression tears of great joy, when families re-unite after separation. But first they went through the pain of separation, time of loneliness and fear of loss before the joy of reunion?

When crying doesn’t bring in the peace you so desperately need and make you feel more rotten. Realise the difference:-

• The Tears of YES come from the understanding that pain is just part of the richness of life.
• The Tears of YES come from the understanding that no matter how difficult life get, you can handle anything that comes your way and emerge from it stronger and wiser.
• The Tears of YES reflect the bittersweet that lies in many of our sorrowful experiences.
• The Tears of YES come from the acknowledgement of the human condition and the understanding that we are all in it together.

• The Tears of YES allow us to be the creator of our life, not a VICTIM of circumstances.
• The tears of YES make us feel connected and allow us to move forward in a way that helps us heal our own life and world around us.

YOU CAN SEE THAT THE TEARS OF YES COME FROM THE HIGHER SELF, the best of who we are. They are the cleansing part of the healthy human process of letting go of pain.

In contrast,
The Tears of NO come from a VICTIM MENTALITY, from those who feel they will never recover from the rough deal life has handed them. And with eyes focused on the darkness, you can be sure that they won’t.

• The Tears of NO come from the question “How could this happen to me?” and from the accompanying feelings of hopelessness, powerlessness and APATHY.
• The Tears of NO come from our blindness to the possible gifts inherent in any painful experience.
• The Tears of NO come from our inability to understand the ebb and flow of life; instead we are angered and frightened.

The Tears of NO come from the LOWER SELF As a result, they serve only to weigh us down. They never resolve the fear and the hurt. The tears of the Lower Self are demoralising not only to the personality but to society as well. They create a culture of self-appointed victims instead of a culture of winners who emerge triumphant in the face of personal setbacks.

Hence, if you cry a lot and yet find that all the tears in the world aren’t making you feel any better relative to some situation in your life, understand that is it because you are crying the tears of NO. In some way, you are feeling helpless and/or a victim of circumstances.
If you never cry or rarely cry, understand that the release of healthy tears – the tears of YES – is important to one’s sense of well-being. Even though our society teaches us that crying is a big no-no, our society is wrong.

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Now that you understand the importance of entering the Land of Tears, let me give you some exercises that will induce healing tears when none seem to come.

• Very often when reading a novel or an article in the newspaper or hearing a story on television, we are moved to tears, either tears of sadness or tears of joy. We then quickly wipe the tears away and go on with our lives. The next time this happens, let yourself be with the tears of sadness or joy and ask yourself what was touched inside of your that created this strong well of emotion.

Do the same thing when you have seen a movie that opens the door to the Land of Tears. Usually we cry a few tears at the end of a movie and then go out into the sunshine leaving the feelings behind. Next time this happens, carry your tears to the car and let yourself bawl and bawl and bawl. After seeing the movie “Schlinder’s Lis”t you will be moved to tears………..