posted December 28, 2016 07:13 AM
Hello Firemoon,
I am so sorry to hear of your sister's ex-boyfriend's death. Might be worth checking if there are any bereaved by suicide support groups in the area for your sister?You may find it helpful to check out the stages of grief model by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, bearing in mind that most people do not move through the stages linearly, nor is it necessary to go through all of them. Finding peace after death is very individual.
As this death was by suicide, and not a 'natural' death, there may be many additional questions, some that will have to be let go of - not all can be answered, but once in a more stable frame of mind they can be let go of.
Only advice I can give you is to let her work through the feelings emotionally and verbally as often as she feels the need. I'm sure you wouldn't do this, but some people try to 'time' another's grief and tell them when they should be over it already - this delays processing and healing and should be avoided. When the grieving person is ready, positive and self-soothing activities can be incorporated or distraction (e.g. going back to work, gym, etc), but you must be mindful of prompting this too early. Talking about the pain is necessary, often before any normality can be considered again.
Hope this helps and that there is a support group in your area, people I have known have found these invaluable. Might even be worth checking for online support groups (make sure they are well-moderated).