Lindaland
  Sweet Peas In The Rain
  Boundaries (Page 1)

Post New Topic  Post A Reply
profile | register | preferences | faq

UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone!
This topic is 3 pages long:   1  2  3 
next newest topic | next oldest topic
Author Topic:   Boundaries
aquaguy91
Moderator

Posts: 12668
From: Uranus
Registered: Jan 2012

posted June 18, 2022 11:37 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm beginning to realize how much repressed anger I have over having my boundaries disrespected and violated. As I'm writing this post I'm cooling off from a major argument with my brother. I exploded in anger because he kept pressing me on a private matter that didn't concern him. Furthermore, it was something I didn't want to discuss with him and in my mind that should be enough. I didn't want to talk about it and made that very clear. And he didn't respect that and I lost my cool. As soon as I got angry he took the victim role and said I was toxic. That is the kind of BS I deal with. And that's how it always is in all my relationships. My emotions are always wrong and I'm always the bad guy. I freely admit that my anger and overreactions are toxic and I apologized to my brother for being hateful, but he didn't budge an inch. In his mind, I was totally in the wrong and he was totally in the right. My boundaries and emotions just don't matter at all to my family. That's life with a 12th house sun. I'm such an awful person for wanting to keep my private life private and getting angry when people pry into it and make me feel uncomfortable.

IP: Logged

charlie
Knowflake

Posts: 5350
From:
Registered: Jun 2012

posted June 19, 2022 12:02 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for charlie     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
As someone with a very hefty (Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, Mars) Virgo stellium in 12H, I can relate. Although it’s progressed, I clearly relate. I’m also very private about everything. My sexual preferences, where I cut my hair, my hobbies, my dreams and wishes etc etc. of course this makes people prod even more but what is fantastic about the 12H is all the glorious fantasies! I feed people all the sunny “realities” about my life but what they are, are just made up BS to make them shut up. And they eat it all up. I feed them sh1t and I remain sane..

Try it

IP: Logged

saronna
Knowflake

Posts: 1575
From: Sydney Australia
Registered: Jan 2010

posted June 20, 2022 12:11 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for saronna     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
12 house sun in Aquarius. Secret in 12th house. I have 12 house Pisces empty house private about my life & what I do in my life. My sister's don't even know what I do in my life even though we are close as sister's


IP: Logged

Lexxigramer
Moderator

Posts: 8156
From: Here since March 24th.2005/..& Have been Lexagramming going on 2/3 of a century to date! LEXIGRAMMING.♥is my Passion!
Registered: Feb 2012

posted June 20, 2022 04:43 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lexxigramer     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
aquaguy91I can relate,
being autistic and dyslexic and more.
It has become harder to deal with
the older I get.
I did not even open up here at LL until very very recently about my autism etcetera,
because I did not want to get more unsolicited advice and or more being judged.
Have already dealt with the backlash from folks trying to be friendly
or worse nosy and making demands of me I cannot grant no matter what they desire from me.
It is complicated and most folks do not even try to understand people who are introverts and more.
Some were invading my space and becoming angry
when I refused to meet them in person or
talk on the phone or whatever.
As far as my family,
I avoid them like the plague because they look down on me and judge me and make fun of my stuttering and neurological palsies, tics
and rocking and going blank and more.
My high genius IQ does not help me cope with anything. In fact it makes me go into
my mind cave even deeper especially these days with critical physical issues heavily in in the mix.
Family and others too often think of me as toxic and antisocial
and take it personally instead of realizing that my communication issues are in no
way my fault.
That makes them the truly toxic ones
because in truth they are all dreadfully poisonous to my mind
and soul.👽

Every time I read your posts I want to
bash the people who mistreat you🤬

Selfish toxic people who think it is all about them and could care less about how
you feel😢

I honestly do not know what to say
and here I am ranting on and probably being annoying.
My apologies if I have stepped out of line.😔

I sincerely
do wish you well 🌈💙

------------------

Take a look at my
LexIgramming/LexAgramming Biography

Nearly 2/3 of a century to date of
LexAgramming
Lexperience!🔠✍️

IP: Logged

Lexxigramer
Moderator

Posts: 8156
From: Here since March 24th.2005/..& Have been Lexagramming going on 2/3 of a century to date! LEXIGRAMMING.♥is my Passion!
Registered: Feb 2012

posted June 20, 2022 05:05 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lexxigramer     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Please pardon any typos or weird autofills.
I cannot see well nor use my hands well to type easily.

IP: Logged

aquaguy91
Moderator

Posts: 12668
From: Uranus
Registered: Jan 2012

posted June 22, 2022 12:22 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thanks for sharing, Lexigrammer. It really is tough being the black sheep of the family. With the current Saturn retrograde cycle, I'm finally beginning to understand my 12th house Saturn. It's meant to make one completely and utterly self reliant even though the path there is extremely painful and lonely.

IP: Logged

Lexxigramer
Moderator

Posts: 8156
From: Here since March 24th.2005/..& Have been Lexagramming going on 2/3 of a century to date! LEXIGRAMMING.♥is my Passion!
Registered: Feb 2012

posted June 22, 2022 03:36 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lexxigramer     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
aquaguy91
Thank you for sharing.💙
I totally get what you have said.
Sorry that you must endure such from family and all too.
Been the black sheep for most of my over 67
years to date.
Yes it is very painful and
lonely in ways most would not understand;
unless one is also a black sheep;
they cannot realistically be expected to know what it is like for us black sheep.
In some ways it does help me to know that you totally get what it is like living like this;
but it does deeply sadden.me that you must endure such treatment from others too 😢💙

Well I DO NOT see you as a black sheep.😎
You have always struck me as a very sensitive and caring person no matter what anyone else ever says. 😎

I do not know whether you trust too quickly
as I do and then more often than not get very
badly burned😢

By the way I do read your posts even though
I rarely reply to you.
Usually I just find myself unable to find the right things to say.

On that note thank you muchly for replying💖


------------------

Take a look at my
LexIgramming/LexAgramming Biography

Nearly 2/3 of a century to date of
LexAgramming
Lexperience!🔠✍️

IP: Logged

aquaguy91
Moderator

Posts: 12668
From: Uranus
Registered: Jan 2012

posted June 24, 2022 09:49 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Lexigrammer,
One thing I can say about my life having lived through a lot is that suffering builds character and makes one more understanding and patient. I'm in graduate school at a big university and I'm around a lot of Gen Z people, and I perceive that they think very highly of themselves and that everything should just be handed to them. They are very disrespectful and know it all. I never will forget hearing a young woman say that her family was taking a "small trip" to Sedona. I have never been that far away from home and in my lifetime I have been so poor that I had to heat bathwater on the stove. Yeah, really. And I can't count the number of times I have heard one of the privileged young effers call a car 5 to 10 years old, well, old. I have never had a car less than 9 years old. The irony is these people are all liberals and love to virtue signal about how aware they are of other people's suffering, yet they seem to have no idea that calling things old or judging anything less than their grandiose standards as inferior could be very insulting to people who are less fortunate than.themselves.

IP: Logged

Lexxigramer
Moderator

Posts: 8156
From: Here since March 24th.2005/..& Have been Lexagramming going on 2/3 of a century to date! LEXIGRAMMING.♥is my Passion!
Registered: Feb 2012

posted June 24, 2022 10:08 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lexxigramer     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
aquaguy91
Wow!
I can do relate to what you have said😳😢
With 13 people on my family growing up I rarely could take a bath unless I bathed my younger siblings. All younger than myself first or hey bathed and
THEN I was permitted to bathe in
their piissy nasty dirty bath water. 🥴
Hence I would take showers outside during rain storms under the gutter spouts.
Or trot off to the creek a quarter mile away.
Or sneak out f study halls and shower in the school gym as often as possible.
Hot water was not a common thing in that household.
Never enough with 10 siblings.

Oh yeah cars
Ours has over 300,000 miles on it and is over
17 years old.
Because it is a Prius people think we are rich.👽
The car is worth about near to nothing and to use it as a trade in would get us like two hundred dollars👽

Too many folks do not appreciate or even understand how good they have it and have no idea what it is like to actually be impoverished.

I care about others and and wish I could wI could help others more but I can barely help myself these days.
People also as I have discovered are quick to take advantage of folks who are too trusting and have deep empathy and compassion.
So yeah I feel burned and bummed out by too many pele who used me and worse.😢🤬

Thank you again for replying aquaguy91 😎
Saddened that you have had to and do have to endure all the unfairness in life.😢💙


------------------

Take a look at my
LexIgramming/LexAgramming Biography

Nearly 2/3 of a century to date of
LexAgramming
Lexperience!🔠✍️

IP: Logged

Lexxigramer
Moderator

Posts: 8156
From: Here since March 24th.2005/..& Have been Lexagramming going on 2/3 of a century to date! LEXIGRAMMING.♥is my Passion!
Registered: Feb 2012

posted June 24, 2022 10:22 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lexxigramer     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Wonderful that you are at a university😎💖
I was never able to go to college.
Too poor and fell through the cracks in school because back then no one understood dyslexia and autism nor narcalepsy and I was placed in what was called the retard class in those days.
So my self esteem became totally shot.
Then a new teacher came and it was
discovered that despite my stuttering and all;
that my IQ was as higher or higher than Einstein's.
But my confidence and all and years of being called a retard left me a wreck unable to even try for scholarships.
Then I had to work for a living at at age 17
whilst still on high school being an emancipated minor.
Well the 75 ,cents an hour I was paid to be cook at a crappy diner barely covered anything and at times I literally lived in the high school and slept there and stole food.
Those people you speak of have no idea what dumpster diving or sleeping in goodwill clothes donation dumpsters is like.

Oops there I went off on a rambling tangent again.
Apologies for my rants but thank you and I totally appreciate your caring and patience and understanding.😎💖

Many blessings and best of luck to you
aquaguy91 😎

IP: Logged

Lexxigramer
Moderator

Posts: 8156
From: Here since March 24th.2005/..& Have been Lexagramming going on 2/3 of a century to date! LEXIGRAMMING.♥is my Passion!
Registered: Feb 2012

posted June 24, 2022 10:24 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lexxigramer     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Sigh again pardon my typos.

IP: Logged

Lexxigramer
Moderator

Posts: 8156
From: Here since March 24th.2005/..& Have been Lexagramming going on 2/3 of a century to date! LEXIGRAMMING.♥is my Passion!
Registered: Feb 2012

posted June 24, 2022 11:38 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lexxigramer     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
aquaguy91😎

I hope. that I am not boring you or bothering you.
If I have or am, kindly let me know so that
I will not unintentionally overstep any boundaries.

Your bringing up about boiling bathwater on a stove brought back memories of about 61 years ago 😎💦💧

I lived for a time with my grandma who lived in a dirt floor shack near the Okefenokee Swamp on Georgia.
She had no electricity not indoor plumbing.
Outhouse was scary at times as due to rattlesnakes that would crawl in for warmth and the vermin to catch in the hole underneath.

Well getting off my topic again, me seguing;
but wanted to paint a clear mental picture off the environment and poverty of those times 😳

Okay back to bathing in those times from over half century ago.😎😳

Gramma had a big old cast iron cook stove.
There was a huge wooden washtub barrel that we took our baths in.

We had to go outside and use the hand pump on the well to fill metal buckets to heat the bathwater on the stove and gather wood to get
a good hot fire going on the stove.
This was also the way laundry was done except it was often done in a big iron cauldron over a fire outside and filled from the pump well.
Those memories are not bad and they may seem😎💖
They most definitely help me appreciate electricity and real indoor plumbing and all more than if I had never experienced such primitive ways of doing things.😎
Sigh😢
I just wish I could afford a handicap bath/shower as I cannot use the standard tub and shower due to my physical disabilities.

Anyhow bathing by candle and oil lamp light in a toasty warm kitchen in the wood tub whilst sipping sweet tea and nibbling shortening bread is a very pleasant memory💖😎💦
There is much more to that memory but I shall stop my rambling for now.

Things sure have changed since what was the way of things in some places back so long ago.

Please pardon any tyos again.

IP: Logged

Lexxigramer
Moderator

Posts: 8156
From: Here since March 24th.2005/..& Have been Lexagramming going on 2/3 of a century to date! LEXIGRAMMING.♥is my Passion!
Registered: Feb 2012

posted June 24, 2022 11:51 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lexxigramer     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Apologies again.
Was not my intention to hijack your thread.
I think my being so severely ill these days causes me to ramble too much.
I shall try to keep from hijacking your thread more than I have already.

IP: Logged

aquaguy91
Moderator

Posts: 12668
From: Uranus
Registered: Jan 2012

posted June 24, 2022 02:08 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Lexigrammer,
No problem. Yes, I agree with all your points. I'm sorry that you had such a difficult time with family and school. When I was younger, I initially had trouble reading but then I finally caught on and passed my peers up. I credit my mom and special ed teachers. My mom used to read me "Where the Wild Things Are" and I learned to read by memorizing it. I loved that book. It stoked a lifelong love of reading in me.

IP: Logged

aquaguy91
Moderator

Posts: 12668
From: Uranus
Registered: Jan 2012

posted June 24, 2022 02:18 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I also grew up and still live in the Southeast. It has been brutally hot this summer. The heat index has been over 100° this month with high humidity that makes one pour sweat as soon as they step outside. The funny thing is I'm working a manual labor job to make extra money over the summer that requires me to be outside and I have done better in the heat than most of my coworkers who are all younger than me. It's because I'm tough because I have had to drive around in cars with no air conditioning more often than not in my life. I have also had to work out in the heat a lot in the past so I'm used to it. I have gone without a lot of things beyond what most people could tolerate. Thanks for responding and sharing because it makes me feel understood and less alone in my misery.

IP: Logged

Lexxigramer
Moderator

Posts: 8156
From: Here since March 24th.2005/..& Have been Lexagramming going on 2/3 of a century to date! LEXIGRAMMING.♥is my Passion!
Registered: Feb 2012

posted June 24, 2022 11:03 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lexxigramer     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Sounds like we have many life things in common, both the bad and the good😎
I learned to read in much the same way😎
In my case it was Alice In Wonderland and the others.
I too memorized what was read to me and then I began on encyclopedia s and my father's Science Fiction &,Fantasy magazines.
Just memorizing stories like Alice In Wonderland and Aesop's Fables and more;
strange but I could read before I actually learned the alphabet it easy to teach myself how to read via word patterns instead of beginning with just the alphabet.😎

Very happy to hear that you have a lifelong passion for reading also😎

Sounds like we have hard hot work experiences in common to.
Working on farms using horse instead of modern equipment and hand milking cows and
Putting in 100s of acres of fence when I was still a child and young teen.
Then factory work in jobs traditionally for men but I was able to lift the 200 pounds with ease so those were the jobs I worked at.
Hot dangerous but definitely preferable to traditional female jobs.
Oh yes cars without air conditioning, very common in my youth.
No fun in the humid hot heat of a southeastern summer.
Most of my adult life so far has been mostly up by the Great Lakes so now it s the bitter cold Winters that makes things miserable.
You sound like you have it all together and
you are not afraid of hard work😎
Thank you for sharing again💖😎
I very muchly enjoy reading your posts and all😎
My son loved Where The Wild Things Are when he was little also.💖😎

You said;

quote:

Thanks for responding and sharing because it makes me feel understood and less alone in my misery.

Thank you too for sharing as your posts have made me feel less alone in my decades of misery💙💖
I wish your life was easier.💙
Thank you muchly again for sharing💙😎

Good night for now.😴💤


IP: Logged

Stawr
Moderator

Posts: 7100
From: N. America
Registered: Nov 2010

posted June 27, 2022 02:52 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Stawr     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Best of luck with your boundary work!

Mine have come a long way. I think Pluto square my Sun had a huge influence on this! I had to tell people "no" more frequently because I was quite spent with being a workaholic.

If I could get a bit quackey here...last year I did a lot of solar plexus work. With yoga! At least once a week.

Has Uranus made a conjunction to your Taurus moon yet? I feel like Uranus conjunctions can kind of help with boundaries too.

Yeah my mom is "never wrong" most of the time, and is big time into gaslighting all kinds of people. She got on my last nerve about my cousin being my matron of honor. Where I snapped and was like "seriously what is your problem with her!?" Gas lights galore. Everything she texted me back I just kept stating. "I don't expect you to take any actual accountability"
She acted like I was hostile when she kept implying that my cousin doesn't actually want to be my matron. But she cut it out after that.
I also had to learn to stay calm and cool when my boss is stressed and projecting.
(weed really helped with that)

I have a great relationship with my sister but I had to tell her that just because I get more time off as a teacher, does not entitle her to me watching her kids. There is so much shite I don't have time to do when I am teaching.

I get irked when I say no and people ask "why?" Because it just seems like entitlement to me. Like this one friend would be like "you have the day off don't you?" If I did not pick up my phone.

I told my in-laws "no" to more dog sitting. They asked my husband privately why I said "no."

IP: Logged

Stawr
Moderator

Posts: 7100
From: N. America
Registered: Nov 2010

posted June 27, 2022 02:55 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Stawr     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Oh my ruling planet Mercury is in the 12th house.

Having low expectations for people also kind of helps. Saying your piece while having zero expectations for the person to be reasonable. Kind of like "it's on you not on me that you are behaving this way."

IP: Logged

aquaguy91
Moderator

Posts: 12668
From: Uranus
Registered: Jan 2012

posted July 01, 2022 01:12 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I think the thing I struggle with more than anything else is trying not to be completely consumed by bitterness. It's so hard sometimes! A lifetime of being treated poorly makes one mean and defensive. There's no other way to put it.

IP: Logged

GalacticCoreExplosionV2
unregistered
posted July 01, 2022 03:56 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
I think the thing I struggle with more than anything else is trying not to be completely consumed by bitterness. It's so hard sometimes! A lifetime of being treated poorly makes one mean and defensive. There's no other way to put it.

Hey, I know the feeling! My alcoholic bio dad occasionally abused me before my mom left him when I was young. I was bullied from K to 12. Lived with a literally sociopathic step father who was mentally, emotionally, and occasionally physically abusive.

Had a string of messed up/toxic romances, which included a pathological lying girlfriend who was my first, and who said/did things like, tell me when my mom had cancer that she also had cancer and was going to die soon and couldn't be with me. Then after she broke up with me callously, she claimed she was pregnant by me (despite we had sex one time, and I used protection). My mom, a best friend, someone I shared the same birthday with, later did die of cancer. Had my own health problems, and severe depression during teen years.

List of woes, troubles, testing quite a bit longer than the above. Some astro patterns that relate, chart ruler the Sun in Cap square Pluto with Scorp IC, and Scorp Uranus in the 4th, and Moon conjunct Saturn.

I've been through the wringer and through hell and back, multiple times.

What I have learned though, is that spiritually, those who on a Soul level, would grow the most, tend to go through the most. Very important to keep in mind.

Please don't give in to the "dark side" of the Force so to speak. You really don't want to go through a Darth Vader type journey. It's far, far more painful than just having difficult things happen to you.

Learn to attune to and communicate with Expanded guidance, and they will help you, strengthen you, love you, and guide you. Try to learn to see the Source and good in others, even those who mistreat you (unless they are psychopaths, then best to just completely avoid them altogether). Feel love and compassion towards them. Forgive them, for most of them, truly do not know what they are doing.

This is a messed up planet, in big time need of retrieval and healing, and many Souls are coming in to help exactly with that. Be part of the solution, not part of the problem. The problem is, there are far too many people in the world that don't really love themselves and so they get caught up in various distractions and hurtful to self and other behaviors, habits, beliefs, perceptions, etc.

Learn to really love and value yourself and then, others can't hurt you as much.

IP: Logged

GalacticCoreExplosionV2
unregistered
posted July 01, 2022 04:09 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
The question is, do you really truly desire healing and positive change?

Or, are you addicted to the drama, toxicity, ego distractions, etc?

The ONLY difference between a "old/mature Soul" and a "young/immature Soul" is this: The old soul is just one who has gotten sick of suffering and now is changing their choices to move out of same. Literally the only difference. Made of the same "stuff". Came from the same Source. Part of the same Oneness. Same equal value.

And yet, when we compare and tune into an old soul vs a young/immature soul, there is a world of difference in quality of consciousness.

I feel somewhat guided to direct you to Tom Campbell's work. He was a long time friend and co-worker with Robert A. Monroe (well known OBE author).

But more so, I really think a focus on going deep within and communicating directly with Expanded, purely helpful, loving guidance would help you the most.

IP: Logged

aquaguy91
Moderator

Posts: 12668
From: Uranus
Registered: Jan 2012

posted July 01, 2022 05:04 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Sigh.

IP: Logged

GalacticCoreExplosionV2
unregistered
posted July 01, 2022 06:22 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
Sigh.

Indeed. Double Sigh.

IP: Logged

aquaguy91
Moderator

Posts: 12668
From: Uranus
Registered: Jan 2012

posted July 01, 2022 07:14 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm all ears if you have solutions.

IP: Logged

GalacticCoreExplosionV2
unregistered
posted July 01, 2022 09:20 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
I'm all ears if you have solutions.

Implied it already. Really deep, expanded meditation AFTER you have specifically set the intention of asking and desiring to connect and commune ONLY with the most love attuned, positive, aware, helpful sources and those helpers that these may send to you in their name.

I've found to help with the above, besides setting that specific kind of intention, that toning/chanting (Ah Omm type stuff) helps. Also, remembering a time when you felt a lot of love and/or gratitude/appreciation, and focusing on and letting those feelings re-well up inside of you, helps one to better connect to and perceive that Expanded Guidance.

I have found that this guidance is very real and that one can get answers--even very specific answers, from this most valuable (re)source. But just attunging to them regularly, helps to bring inner peace, centeredness, and spiritual strength to self.

There are other things, peripherally, that one can do to help with the above process. Spending time in nature, regular exercise, wearing stones like Azurite, partaking in positive service to others with no material reward/gain, eating a more vegetarian diet, fasting (both intermittent and more long term water fasting), etc, etc all help some.

Certain art and music can help some. Something that I have found that is pretty helpful in the direct meditation and going within process, is an audio tech called Hemi-Sync (just binaural beats, but particularly well researched forms of same). I particularly like "Higher" and the "Opening the Heart" set.

That's all I got for now.

IP: Logged


This topic is 3 pages long:   1  2  3 

All times are Eastern Standard Time

next newest topic | next oldest topic

Administrative Options: Close Topic | Archive/Move | Delete Topic
Post New Topic  Post A Reply
Hop to:

Contact Us | Linda-Goodman.com

Copyright 2000-2022

Powered by Infopop www.infopop.com © 2000
Ultimate Bulletin Board 5.46a