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Author
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Topic: I would ONLY like advice or input from people experienced with children please
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charlie
Knowflake Posts: 2532
From: los angeles, ca, USA
Registered: Jun 2012
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posted November 05, 2014 02:58 PM
  
Will keep it short. My stepdaughter is very picky with food, but she eats when it's on table. She is 7, almost 8, so nothing strange there BUT then weirdness ensues in the form of cookies and cookies and muffins and muffins and she sometimes hides in a corner of kitchen where it's hard to get a clear view of someone standing there, eating. I have spotted her several times and she blushes and walks away pretending like nothing happened. She can eat a whole weeks worth of baked stuff right after dinner and to ME it's emotional binge eating but I am no expert here. She also throws tantrums in stores if we don't buy her cookies or donuts. Things are not ok between her mother and my fiance. It's a silent war going on where unfortunately both parties are using their daughter in various ways. I am caught in the middle and just get to witness mayhem or accused for not fixing things better. I know for a FACT that her mother is VERY tight with money, wanting to spend it all on herself and thus food can be scarce in their household. In my household she is beeing fed non-stop, even if she wakes up at 2 am crying for more food or just attention. I have tried talking to my fiance about it but he gets really hotheaded and says his daughter will eat what and whenever she wants.
Thoughts? edit: most nights she eats a pizza or MacD's for PRE-DINNER snack...then it's the regular food and then cookies IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 58106
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted November 05, 2014 03:00 PM
It is emotional. She is hoarding because she feels lack of love imo------------------
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charlie
Knowflake Posts: 2532
From: los angeles, ca, USA
Registered: Jun 2012
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posted November 05, 2014 03:03 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Ami Anne:
It is emotional. She is hoarding because she feels lack of love imo
She is a Cancer Moon, Venus and Asc. Taurus Moon
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Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 58106
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted November 05, 2014 03:43 PM
Is she a cancer Moon? I am one, too.------------------
Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
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Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 58106
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted November 05, 2014 03:52 PM
Cancer Moon has food issues. We overeat or under eat but food does represent nurturing to us.The Stomach is the body area which relates to cancer moon( and the breasts too lol) ------------------
Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
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Vajra
Moderator Posts: 450
From: Europe
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted November 05, 2014 04:25 PM
It's possible she is going through a phase of accelerated growth, during such phases children at that age can sometimes eat astonishing amounts and still feel hungry. How long have you observed this behavior? Growth phases can be weeks or months, but should at some point be over (until next time). If it is continuous, the likelihood is greater that something's not quite right at the other home.Nevertheless I'm afraid it's not advisable as the dad's fiancée to go against the birth parents' food policy even if it seems foolish to you, because children are often very good at exploiting differences between the adults to their advantage, and it could even backfire on you. But there could be a possibility of getting her to appreciate quality food more, by teaching her how to make food herself. If you say she's picky, why not ask her what her favorite foodstuffs should be like, and then try to make them with her? I know the problem a bit because my eleven-year-old is also a lover of sweets and cakes, unfortunately, and I try to combat that by a) having little of the sweet stuff lying around, 2) having lots of healthy foods always at hand, and c) by including her in the food preparation process. But it's really hard, nevertheless, to keep her from stuffing herself with junk food whenever she has the opportunity, and I don't want to cause her psychological harm/eating disorders by forbidding her to eat or guilt-tripping her… it sure is a challenge. IP: Logged |
Faith
Knowflake Posts: 8752
From:
Registered: Jul 2011
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posted November 05, 2014 04:37 PM
^^ Also, I make baked goods with whole grain flours that fill the kids up. White whole wheat looks white and you can't tell the difference.I don't eat much except when I eat white flour, it messes with my metabolism and makes me ravenous. So if I eat a piece of cake made with white flour, I'll start over-eating...it is basically the only time I binge. Because it makes me HUNGRY. On my usual diet of whole foods I am rarely hungry. IP: Logged |
florence
Knowflake Posts: 531
From:
Registered: Jun 2012
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posted November 05, 2014 06:18 PM
Did your parents control your food in any particular way? I say this because very likely it's upsetting to you because of how you were raised just putting aside any health issues for now. For instance, bad manners really bother me because my mum wouldn't have tolerated it but with my own children it still bothers me but obviously the love mitigates that to an extent. However, in general with other children it bothers me more.It sounds like a really good suggestion to involve her in cooking. I personally think trying to clamp down on it will make it worse especially if you don't have the parents support - it will become a site of struggle in which any other issues end up funnelling through. Offering a choice of x or y might be a way to introduce some limit whilst giving her control. IP: Logged |
whitewitch111
Moderator Posts: 2648
From: Hillsboro, OR, USA
Registered: Jan 2013
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posted November 05, 2014 10:26 PM
It is emotional eating. When I was five my parents split up, and stopped paying attention to me. So I filled the void with food. Today I stress/binge eat with all my problems and then will go 2 or 3 days without anything. Please get it under control now. I have had a hard life due to this and it continues today. Talk to her, engage in some of her interests and hobbies.
If it continues she will grow up blaming her parents for it, like I did. And she may possibly blame you. Its sad...:'( I don't want to see any little girl go through what I did and how it progressed. IP: Logged |
charlie
Knowflake Posts: 2532
From: los angeles, ca, USA
Registered: Jun 2012
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posted November 06, 2014 12:00 AM
quote:
Originally posted by florence:
Did your parents control your food in any particular way? I say this because very likely it's upsetting to you because of how you were raised just putting aside any health issues for now. For instance, bad manners really bother me because my mum wouldn't have tolerated it but with my own children it still bothers me but obviously the love mitigates that to an extent. However, in general with other children it bothers me more.It sounds like a really good suggestion to involve her in cooking. I personally think trying to clamp down on it will make it worse especially if you don't have the parents support - it will become a site of struggle in which any other issues end up funnelling through. Offering a choice of x or y might be a way to introduce some limit whilst giving her control.
My parents gave everything I wanted and I went to chef's school for 4 years so food is OK with me 
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LucieLemonade
Knowflake Posts: 1218
From:
Registered: Sep 2013
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posted November 06, 2014 04:26 AM
I don't have kids and I'm not sure why I clicked on this topic. But I did this when I was young. Thinking back I remember specifically being in the k-6 cafeteria and asking my friends if they were finished with their food. So I must have been about her age. I was always really hungry, especially at school where the food was "rationed". You know. You got one plate of whatever and that was it. At home it was easier to eat more. But really, there was only a limit to what my mom made for dinner. I would also search the kitchen cupboards and eat everything in the house, including eating jars of maraschino cherries and the baking chocolate because that's all there was. Yuk! And yes. I did this behind my mother's back. For me it wasn't "emotional" eating. It really was that I was hungry and I LOVE sweets. Always have. Sweets are a struggle for me. By the time I got to high school I was making batches of chocolate chip cookies almost every day. I had the recipe down pat! Even now, two days in a row I made the one bowl two cupcake recipe. Eeek! I don't know how to help.... I guess you need to find out if it really is emotional, if she needs more food and/or if she is a sugar junkie like I was. Also, maybe give her a box of something and say these are for "x days" or whatever and make her responsible for them. If she eats them all in a day then that's it. Give her some responsibility for her own actions/decisions. In parallel you should probably get her to do something sporty. I know my life really turned around when I started playing soft ball. It's not a super athletic sport, but I was good at it and it gave me lots of confidence and it burned up some of that extra food. But I'm a Sag and my body needs sports even though I hate sports!  There are 100s of non sporty sporty activities for kids these days. Much different from the poor choices we had as kids. I know you asked for advice from people with kids. Sorry. But I do hope it helps a tiny bit. IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 46331
From: Saturn next to Charmainec
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 07, 2014 11:57 PM
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Lindaland
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