posted August 30, 2014 10:14 AM            

It was all such a blessing!

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posted August 30, 2014 12:20 PM            

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I guess these people don't need to grow a thicker skin, as much as they need to grow some personality and boundaries of self.

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When one knows the self and imposes boundries for self and others , it all falls into place.
Thicker skin can and often does , cover the pain for short periods.

posted August 30, 2014 07:32 PM            

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posted August 30, 2014 09:42 PM            

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Originally posted by athenegoddess:
I don't think having a thick skin means you are hiding pain. I think it means you aren't being affected by people so you wouldn't have to deal with any pain they are trying to cause at all.

Its a good trait to have.

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Yes, you have wisdom.

I wish more people would

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posted August 30, 2014 10:55 PM            

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:

Yes, you have wisdom.

I wish more people would

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posted August 30, 2014 11:12 PM            

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posted August 30, 2014 11:19 PM            

There seems to be a true noticable difference with people who are naturally sensitive, and aware than someone who gets defensive easily and takes things in a way they weren't intended.

I'm reminded of this....(have your pick)

posted August 30, 2014 11:42 PM            

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Originally posted by athenegoddess:
I don't think thats what she means Karka. Instigator much?

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Yes, I am an instigator. I brought up a question and I wanted her to discuss it. You know me as one who always asks people questions that could be interpreted as either being rude or pure fascination. It is not out of ill will but a simple curiosity. I would like to see what her opinion on TuxLuigi's interpretation of what thick skin should mean.
If she would say what she means to, I would not get offended.

posted August 30, 2014 11:50 PM            

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Originally posted by T:
What seems like "thick skinned" to some, might actually be a person who sees through certain things and has learned to not let their emotions or other people control them.

I've known some naturally sensitive people who have been surrounded by hurtful people and instead of let that "take them down" and harden their heart - they learn from it and see through to the root of the matter and thus it's impossible that it can hurt them anymore. They aren't hardened, they just understand better now and it no longer effects them.

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posted August 31, 2014 12:41 AM            

A long reply was flowing out of me and my computer shut down. I'm too tired to try to type it out again.

Just wanted to say that I hear what you are saying. My point was that it takes deep understanding and wisdom to not let this world eat you up alive (and no, I am not "there" or haven't made it out yet fully myself and struggle still, daily). The only thing that has somewhat saved me at this point is knowledge i've gained and a willingness to try to understand human nature and accept it for what it is and not leaf it tear me down completely. It's not a smooth, straight or easy road.

Yes, I agree, it's very easy to become callous, rigid and cold-hearted, especially if you've been dealt a rough deck in life. Many people let it eat them up alive and it's sad. All we can do is try to understand and not let outside influences ruin our own life. That is not always an easy thing to do.

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People are predators out there and when they see a sensitive, sweet-hearted person they manipulate them and use them for their own gratification.

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Yep. I've been in that position many times, especially as a young child and well into early adulthood. I guess certain things had to happen to me in order that I was able to survive later on in life and make my way in this world. I was way too naive of a soul. I could see how other people might have been completely destroyed and gone down a dark road. I'm not saying I'm better, I'm saying I thank my lucky stars that I had some sort of inner strength from somewhere that got me through - or continues to help me through, and I didn't curl up, give up, or succumb to the darkness. It could've happened many times and is still a daily struggle.

If certain things hadn't happened to me and almost forced me to get a thick skin and learn how to cope in this world, I'd hate to see where I'd be right now. Deep down, I am still a sensitive caring person. Just not someone who let's the little things get to me. And for that, I am thankful.

posted August 31, 2014 12:52 AM            

I think there is a difference between a healthy thick skin and an unhealthy one. Same for sensitivity.

posted August 31, 2014 03:05 AM            

Ami, I think that what Tux was saying, was that it can feel like that thick skin is great, until you realized that it is just covering up feelings - bravado that crumples when you let yourself feel again. I say this, because I've experienced it quite a bit.

posted August 31, 2014 03:32 AM            

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Originally posted by teasel:
That thicker skin can give way to strength, but it happens to me after the feelings are processed.

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posted August 31, 2014 09:37 AM            

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posted August 31, 2014 10:18 AM            

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
Thanks, Teasel. Maybe lol

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posted August 31, 2014 10:45 AM            

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posted August 31, 2014 12:36 PM            

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
I don't know what Tux meant, I mean lol

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I meant that many people are not sure whether "developing a thicker skin" means learning and growing from pain and responding to it in a more mature way, or hiding/rejecting emotions because you're weak otherwise. Some people are thought to have a "thick skin" but are the kind to beat up their wife at home. Some people grow such a thick skin they become distant to situations such as the death of a friend.
"Developing a thick skin" has a tendency to mean different things for different people. From the definition I have seen around myself, I would certainly prefer to be "weak" and "sensitive" than to repress my emotions for the sake of being less hurt by personal pain.