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Author
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Topic: I'm deeply disturbed
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aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 9867
From: Uranus
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted August 21, 2014 12:13 AM
  
So one of my friend's just texted me and told me that he had just received word that his oldest sister had died in route to the hospital and he asked if I would pray for the family. I said of course and told him I was extremely sorry for his loss. What he said next absolutely shocked me! His response was "I don't really care,We weren't really close". I mean WTF? Who says something like that? It changes the whole way I look at the guy. I just don't understand how someone could be so callous. I am at a loss for words...IP: Logged |
StarlightSmileSupreme
Knowflake Posts: 9021
From: neptune
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted August 21, 2014 02:14 AM
Yup that's a cold thing to say. IP: Logged |
Ellynlvx
Knowflake Posts: 10093
From: the Point of Light within the Mind of God
Registered: Aug 2013
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posted August 21, 2014 04:28 AM
Some people deal with grief differently.You never know what going on under the surface, and perhaps they don't either. Time will tell. IP: Logged |
geminigal2805
Knowflake Posts: 1102
From:
Registered: Sep 2013
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posted August 21, 2014 04:45 AM
Some people find it hard to express emotions especially when they feel lost and vulnerable. Not all.But some ppl like me are terrible at it.. doesnt mean we dont feel anything AG. For me expressing intense feelings are worse than facing tsunami.
Your friend was having a terrible day. This happens. People become emotionally clumsy,could be because he didnt have the time to mentally process her sudden death.
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aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 9867
From: Uranus
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted August 21, 2014 05:03 AM
^ I realize that some people are uncomfortable expressing emotions, being a double aquarius I know all about that. I am the type of person that never cries, haven't done it since my grandmother died in 2004, and I didn't do it in front of people either. So I know what that's like. But having said all of that.. The way my friend acted and the things he said are just not normal and it really shocked me. To text me to tell me that his oldest sister had died and he wanted me to pray for his family and then when I offered my condolences he informs me he doesn't really care about her death and changes the subject to the football games next week. Wow, Don't know what to say about all that.IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 57098
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted August 21, 2014 08:40 AM
WowI can tell you that shock makes you very out of it but still, this would be an upsetting comment to hear. ------------------
Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
IP: Logged |
I'm so cappy
Knowflake Posts: 8693
From: Saturn (summer house on Chiron)
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted August 21, 2014 09:07 AM
I can understand that someone was too emotionally distant from their relative to be devastated or even sad but I think he should've kept it to himself or at least worded it differently, like "don't worry about me, I can cope with it". When he asked you to pray for the family he apparently meant everyone except him  But yeah, it all turned out unnecessarily confusing and shocking.------------------
I'm sooo happy! I mean, cappy. IP: Logged |
Voix_de_la_Mer
Knowflake Posts: 1063
From: You.
Registered: Aug 2011
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posted August 21, 2014 10:05 AM
Many men deflect and deny all the time because society still promotes: no emotion = masculinity.How often do we still hear phrases like "man up!", "be a MAN!", "crying like a baby", don't be a wuss", etc, etc. The male's emotional expression is still being suppressed. So. Not showing does not necessarily equal not feeling. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 57098
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted August 21, 2014 01:31 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Voix_de_la_Mer:
Many men deflect and deny all the time because society still promotes: no emotion = masculinity.How often do we still hear phrases like "man up!", "be a MAN!", "crying like a baby", don't be a wuss", etc, etc. The male's emotional expression is still being suppressed. So. Not showing does not necessarily equal not feeling.
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Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
IP: Logged |
hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 8226
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted August 22, 2014 02:54 AM
Death doesn't guarantee a reaction, really. Family doesn't always equate to "close." IP: Logged |
Odette
Moderator Posts: 4549
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted August 22, 2014 07:48 AM
Well at their age it should equate to close.. because he probably still lives at home with his family and sister.. and if he doesn't live at home - it's doubtful that he would've moved out years ago.. They're in their early 20s.So if you live with someone for so many years (recently) and that person is family and they die - it is 100% sociopathic to have no emotional reaction and even openly admit you don't care - in casual conversation - and then discuss football. Either he is truly in shock/in denial.. or he is potentially a sociopath. If they were 40-something years old and he hadn't seen his sister within the last two decades, let alone lived under the same roof.. then the whole "family doesn't equal closeness" thing would apply. IP: Logged |
I'm so cappy
Knowflake Posts: 8693
From: Saturn (summer house on Chiron)
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted August 22, 2014 08:29 AM
Living with someone = physical proximity. There might be emotional closeness involved or not. One could live with someone for years and even despise them. It's not that black&white.I can agree that talking about football right after was kinda weird. ------------------
I'm sooo happy! I mean, cappy. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 57098
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted August 22, 2014 09:11 AM
Odette is wise as usual  ------------------
Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
IP: Logged |
Faith
Knowflake Posts: 8360
From:
Registered: Jul 2011
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posted August 22, 2014 11:55 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Ellynlvx:
Some people deal with grief differently.You never know what going on under the surface, and perhaps they don't either. Time will tell.
^ This. There are reasons for why people act the way they do, and sometimes you can't possibly know them. *edit
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charlie
Knowflake Posts: 2396
From: los angeles, ca, USA
Registered: Jun 2012
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posted August 22, 2014 12:37 PM
I would prolly have responded similarly actually. IP: Logged |
mercuranian
Knowflake Posts: 887
From: not here
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 22, 2014 03:45 PM
we really don't know what was/is happening under the surface within this family.IP: Logged |
KarkaQueen
Knowflake Posts: 6302
From: In my 1st house Uranus and Neptune
Registered: May 2011
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posted August 22, 2014 04:26 PM
quote:
Originally posted by charlie:
I would prolly have responded similarly actually.
arent you that dude who constantly posts about cheating on his girlfriends? we all know you're not a scrupulous man. IP: Logged |
Faith
Knowflake Posts: 8360
From:
Registered: Jul 2011
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posted August 22, 2014 06:43 PM
^ Cuz we know she's a woman.  IP: Logged |
KarkaQueen
Knowflake Posts: 6302
From: In my 1st house Uranus and Neptune
Registered: May 2011
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posted August 22, 2014 07:01 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Faith:
^ Cuz we know she's a woman.
not a scrupulous *woman. my opinion hasn't changed, what is your point? IP: Logged |
Faith
Knowflake Posts: 8360
From:
Registered: Jul 2011
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posted August 22, 2014 07:55 PM
Point?  Am I supposed to have one?  I was just sayin, charlie is a girl. IP: Logged |
KarkaQueen
Knowflake Posts: 6302
From: In my 1st house Uranus and Neptune
Registered: May 2011
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posted August 22, 2014 08:00 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Faith:
Point? Am I supposed to have one? I was just sayin, charlie is a girl.
still doesn't change my opinion either way. thanks for the tip i guess IP: Logged |
Faith
Knowflake Posts: 8360
From:
Registered: Jul 2011
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posted August 22, 2014 08:05 PM
Shucks, anytime. -- Just stumbled across this and thought it was relevant to the thread...   IP: Logged |
KarkaQueen
Knowflake Posts: 6302
From: In my 1st house Uranus and Neptune
Registered: May 2011
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posted August 22, 2014 08:18 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Faith:
Shucks, anytime. -- Just stumbled across this and thought it was relevant to the thread...
lol okay.. deja vu here.. edit: i've been too confrontational these days.. ugh.. alright I got mad over nothing >_> IP: Logged |
Doux Rêve
Moderator Posts: 9168
From:
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted August 23, 2014 11:57 AM
I'd be disturbed, too.IP: Logged |
Catalina
Knowflake Posts: 2227
From: shamballa
Registered: Aug 2013
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posted August 23, 2014 04:53 PM
Not everyone views death with dread or mourning...and likely he's in shock from the suddenness anyway. Why judge him? So much unknown...IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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