posted November 20, 2014 05:45 PM            

I'd like to share a very painful and shameful thing with you all today...It is very difficult for me to talk about this, but thanks to my psychologist I realized it was the trigger to many problems in my life.

At the age of 12 I developed acne. Over the years it became terrible cystic acne that ravaged my skin, by the age of 16 things calmed down enough that I could cover up with makeup and feel kind of normal. Except I wasn't. For years I'd avoid social situations, harsh lightings, swimming and photographs. I lost many years and memories of my life, while spending lots of money on treatments that never worked. (If you want to give me skin advice you can, but let me tell you I tried everythingggggg!!! Meds, topicals, over-the-counter, natural alternatives, diet modifications, drinking apple cider vinegar three times a day, acupuncture, meditation, hot yoga, prayer, birth control, then natural supplements to get hormones back to normal, naturopathy, wearing lots of makeup or no makeup, natural products...eveerything!) I felt so ashamed and guilty that my body wasn't functioning properly, even though I had the strictest healthy diet, exercised and was a health nut.

Finally, after many years now at the age of 25 my skin calmed down, but I was left with heavy scarring. The picture in the link isn't the best, I can upload more though it will be very embarassing so you can get the general picture. In the pic I am also wearing makeup, but I have tons of scars on my cheeks (deeper ones), on my forehead (medium depth) and on my neck and jawline (mostly dark discoloration but that I am not too worried about).

After many years of struggle, and very close meeting with suicide near my birthday, I have started therapy with a psychologist. Because of all the costs my acne consumed and my student debt, I cannot afford acne scar treatments at the moments. I try to save up as much as I can but with debt and school costs (I am in my before last semester) I simply can't do this fast enough. In the meantime, I feel like my life is passing me away. I treat my body like garbage in relationships (casual sexual encounters because I feel I don't deserve someone who will love me), but I am working on that thanks to my psychologist.

This is why I set up a crowdfunding page, I didn't know these existed until recently. I feel so terrible as a proud Leo, this is a very humbling experience but these acne scar treatments will greatly impact my life. I am not a shallow person and ironically, I hate wearing makeup though I have to wear it to be taken seriously in my job. I wish I could share this with my friends and family on facebook, but because of the personal nature and the bullying I went through, exposing this pain of mine is too hard...
This is why I turn to this community, perhaps some of you can help me.

Anyway, if there is any way in which you could contribute, the amount can be as small as a dollar (and I think they accept debit too), I will be forever grateful. If you cannot contribute financially, please share this with friends and family who maybe will be able to. I really wish I could ask my loved ones for help, but I feel so ashamed that I simply can't.

Oh, also I understand people can feel like this is a fraud or something, but I can send you more photos privately and ''proof'' photos too. I have consulted a cosmetic surgery already (100$ consultation fee...sigh) and he said I'll need dermabrasion, some peels followed by laser treatments. I will consult another one too to get a second opinion, but there are consultation fees...

http://www.gofundme.com/hl1fvs

posted November 20, 2014 05:54 PM            

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posted November 20, 2014 06:22 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by melodiemelodie:
thank you AmiAnne

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My son did not have it as bad as you did but he went through a period when he was totally obsessed with it.

I can relate to feeling bad, in general, and the torment that comes from it even though I did not have this particular serious problem, my dear Friend.

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posted November 20, 2014 09:26 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by melodiemelodie:
yeah, I sympatize with anyone who has to deal with it as it can destroy a self-esteem. glad he got over his skin issues

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They were not that bad as what you are describing. When he found a really good g/f, he forgot about them. It was very cool.

I can hear your great pain though and it was not the same situation

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posted November 20, 2014 09:30 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:

They were not that bad as what you are describing. When he found a really good g/f, he forgot about them. It was very cool.

I can hear your great pain though and it was not the same situation

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Aww... that's so lovely!! I'm glad he got over it. Maybe I am generalizing but I think it's harder for women with scars than men. On men, it can look manly or give them this rough look. On women usually though, society is way harsher...

I had a few relationships but they often turned sour for many reasons, but I think the root cause is lack of self love. While I know physical appearance is not important, feeling good and loving yourself is. I really hope I can get there, and I can get the help to improve my self-esteem

posted November 20, 2014 09:36 PM            

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posted November 20, 2014 10:30 PM            

Have you tried using extra virgin coconut oil (& in your case internally as well as externally) on your skin? It's very helpful for this type of thing, not to mention in healing scars, stretch marks and in preventing wrinkles.

I use it on my skin every day and very rarely get a pimple anymore. Try it out for a few weeks on a clean face before bed and after a shower. Let it absorb in for a couple of minutes and then wipe off any excess before your regular make-up routine. It might take a little while for your skin to detoxify and cleanse itself, but over time you should notice significant improvement overall.

It's very beneficial to take internally as well and in a severe case like yours I would do so. Whether you put it in a smoothie or just take a spoonful a day.

Do some research on the benefits and maybe give it a shot if you haven't already. I know putting oil on your face might seem counterproductive, but when you understand how this particular oil works, you might see why it's worth a shot. And don't give up if you don't see result right away.

posted November 20, 2014 10:55 PM            

quote:

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Have you tried using extra virgin coconut oil (& in your case internally as well as externally) on your skin? It's very helpful for this type of thing, not to mention in healing scars, stretch marks and in preventing wrinkles.
[/B]

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aww thank you T for the advice!! yep I love coconut oil, i use it in the wintertime as a moisturizer and I eat lots of it too. when I say I tried everything under the sun, I mean, potentially every known remedy in life!!
my problem is deep scarring, not discoloration though. And my skin is pretty clear now so coconut oil can only do so much

ps. if you haven't heard of oil pulling google it!! it's wonderful!!! and it's great to use coconut oil with ith, cleans your teeth and mouth like no other!!