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Author Topic:   My life is not mine and I am sick of it
Loveher
Knowflake

Posts: 898
From:
Registered: Nov 2015

posted November 21, 2023 05:24 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Loveher     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
For the past few years, my life has been really tough. Jobs have ended abruptly, and I've had to travel across the country. Finding new jobs has been a challenge. In just two years, I've worked at five different jobs and lived in seven different cities. Right now, I'm stressed about my financial situation.

Looking back, it seems like I was sent to these places for a reason – to help and protect specific people's lives. I work in healthcare. At one job, I discovered a man who was risking patients' lives daily. When I exposed the truth, he and I both had to leave. It's like I was there to protect the patients from him.

Then, at another job, I found a doctor who was putting patients in unsafe procedures to keep his program running. I exposed the truth again, saved a disabled woman from being at risk, and got the doctor fired. The whole program got shut down, saving hundreds of patients from harm. But because of this, I lost my job.

I moved on to another job where a colleague was risking patients' lives due to ignorance. I got injured at work, and when I realized a patient's life was in danger, I did everything I could to protect them. I dug into charts, sent emails, and exposed the truth again, saving a patient's life. Unfortunately, I lost my job because management wasn't happy about it.

I don't understand why my life seems to be used this way. I just want to stay in one place, have a stable job for at least two years, and take a break. I'm exhausted. It feels like the universe is using me to get rid of problematic people and protect others. If I had enough money, maybe jumping around wouldn't bother me, but my life is a mess right now.

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Lexxigramer
Moderator

Posts: 9231
From: Here since March 24th.2005/..& Have been Lexagramming going on 2/3 of a century to date! LEXIGRAMMING.♥is my Passion!
Registered: Feb 2012

posted November 21, 2023 10:57 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lexxigramer     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Loveher💙😭
I am sad that life is not kind to you and others😭💙
It appears that you try and have helped many folks even when it did not help you💙😭
Please post this at the other forum as you may get more answers there from folks💙💙💙
In the meantime I shall move a copy to the Sweet Peas In The Rain forum.
You may use this thread or start using the copy at the SPITR forum.
Blessings and love to you Loveher❤️

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Stawr
Moderator

Posts: 8960
From: N. America
Registered: Nov 2010

posted November 22, 2023 01:19 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Stawr     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thank you so much for everything you have done!

Thank you for not "I'm just doing my job"

Thank you for the difference you have made in those peoples lives.

The medical field is sick and disgusting. It's so scary when something is going on with my heath and I don't know what else to do.

You are amazing.

Anyways....I've had issues with staying in one place....

If you are into advice leave it up to a higher power. I did that recently....and my next job practically fell down from the sky...I also had to have more flexible thinking.

I'm also curious what astrology transits you are having right now.

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Lexxigramer
Moderator

Posts: 9231
From: Here since March 24th.2005/..& Have been Lexagramming going on 2/3 of a century to date! LEXIGRAMMING.♥is my Passion!
Registered: Feb 2012

posted November 24, 2023 08:43 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lexxigramer     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Loveher:
For the past few years, my life has been really tough. Jobs have ended abruptly, and I've had to travel across the country. Finding new jobs has been a challenge. In just two years, I've worked at five different jobs and lived in seven different cities. Right now, I'm stressed about my financial situation.

Looking back, it seems like I was sent to these places for a reason – to help and protect specific people's lives. I work in healthcare. At one job, I discovered a man who was risking patients' lives daily. When I exposed the truth, he and I both had to leave. It's like I was there to protect the patients from him.

Then, at another job, I found a doctor who was putting patients in unsafe procedures to keep his program running. I exposed the truth again, saved a disabled woman from being at risk, and got the doctor fired. The whole program got shut down, saving hundreds of patients from harm. But because of this, I lost my job.

I moved on to another job where a colleague was risking patients' lives due to ignorance. I got injured at work, and when I realized a patient's life was in danger, I did everything I could to protect them. I dug into charts, sent emails, and exposed the truth again, saving a patient's life. Unfortunately, I lost my job because management wasn't happy about it.

I don't understand why my life seems to be used this way. I just want to stay in one place, have a stable job for at least two years, and take a break. I'm exhausted. It feels like the universe is using me to get rid of problematic people and protect others. If I had enough money, maybe jumping around wouldn't bother me, but my life is a mess right now.


Loveher💙❤️
You have done wonderful things for so many people who would have been hurt or even killed due to the idiot practicing of too many of the
so called professionals of the medical communities 💙😎
So sad that these burdens have befallen you😭
I would love to have had and even have nowadays a medical advocate for many of my medical issues. I am not being heard or or worse.🤬😭
Ombudsman are suppose to help but one here is I cahoots with the bad doctors it seems nigh onto worthless like when they are golfing buddies of the chief of staff who is also a doctor who nearly blinded me and did nothing to help when the CDC did a recall of eye drops that blinded and killed people and also some had to have their eyes removed 🤬😭
My vision is still a mess and no one will halp me because they look at the incorrect record from him and see incorrect diagnosis and worse. Totally wrong patient information which he refuses to fix🤬
Other crap doctors have pulled is refusing to check me for cancer even when I begged because I KNEW I HAD CANCER👽
I STARTED TELLING THEM WHAT WAS WRONG IN OCTOBER 2019 BUT NOT UNTIL NOVEMBER 2021 TWO YEARS YEARS LATER..did anyone bother to help me😭🤬
Then they got the diagnosis all horribly wrong and scared me horribly telling me pretty much go home and die. Or submit to having all of my female organs removed and much of my digestive and urinary tract removed and given ostomies to urinate and dedicate into bags for until I would die.
I finally, after a year and a half and several more doctors and more weird wrong diagnoses found a wonderful surgeon who did help and removed a 7 pound tumour and only had to do a bikini cut and 5 robotic laparoscopic cuts.😎❤️
Several full body cat scans with contrast and several doctors could not get my diagnosis right🤬🤬🤬
Utterly stupid jerks🤬👽
Finally.......
It was discovered that I did not have terminal cancers and nor had it spread and I did not need to be gutted like a fish from pelvic mound to mid chest as others wanted to do.
I am currently into over a year of chemotherapy and gene therapy intravenous infusions to make sure all cancers are gone for good

Yet I am still having many other unresolved untreated undiagnosed correctly problems that getting any doctors to help with the fact that I cannot walk most of the time and cannot keep from being hypoglycemic ultra low sugar and why I am becoming more paralyzed each day and much more other things no one is helping find out what is wrong nor how to help.
They just want to push pills or worse🤬👽🤬
I keep hearing crap like oh you are old that is all👽🤬😭
I posted another thread going on about when is it time to give up⁉️😭
I am at wits end and unable to take most medications and so doctors get frustrated or even angry and again I get told to just give up and accept that my end might be near🤬😭

Anyhow I know I have rambled on here but I wanted you to know that YOU ARE AMAZING AND A BLESSING TO ALL YOU HAVE HELPED❤️😎❤️
I wish there were something I could do or say to help you 💙

Have you ever considered seeing if you can become a patient advocate or ombudsperson ⁉️😎💙

On that note have a doctor appoint in a litlle
while so must get ready for that.

Blessings and love to you Loveher❤️❤️❤️

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Lexxigramer
Moderator

Posts: 9231
From: Here since March 24th.2005/..& Have been Lexagramming going on 2/3 of a century to date! LEXIGRAMMING.♥is my Passion!
Registered: Feb 2012

posted November 24, 2023 08:58 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lexxigramer     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Stawr:
Thank you so much for everything you have done!

Thank you for not "I'm just doing my job"

Thank you for the difference you have made in those peoples lives.

The medical field is sick and disgusting. It's so scary when something is going on with my heath and I don't know what else to do.

You are amazing.

Anyways....I've had issues with staying in one place....

If you are into advice leave it up to a higher power. I did that recently....and my next job practically fell down from the sky...I also had to have more flexible thinking.

I'm also curious what astrology transits you are having right now.


LOVE AND BLESSINGS TO YOU Stawr❤️❤️❤️
You are spot on about the medical community and how awful it too often is👽
Your post reply to Loveher is perfect💙


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Stawr
Moderator

Posts: 8960
From: N. America
Registered: Nov 2010

posted December 26, 2023 05:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Stawr     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Lexxigramer:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Stawr:
[b]Thank you so much for everything you have done!

Thank you for not "I'm just doing my job"

Thank you for the difference you have made in those peoples lives.

The medical field is sick and disgusting. It's so scary when something is going on with my heath and I don't know what else to do.

You are amazing.

Anyways....I've had issues with staying in one place....

If you are into advice leave it up to a higher power. I did that recently....and my next job practically fell down from the sky...I also had to have more flexible thinking.

I'm also curious what astrology transits you are having right now.


LOVE AND BLESSINGS TO YOU Stawr❤️❤️❤️
You are spot on about the medical community and how awful it too often is👽
Your post reply to Loveher is perfect💙

[/B][/QUOTE]

The lights flickered in my room like crazy when I read your comment! Love and blessing to you too!

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Lexxigramer
Moderator

Posts: 9231
From: Here since March 24th.2005/..& Have been Lexagramming going on 2/3 of a century to date! LEXIGRAMMING.♥is my Passion!
Registered: Feb 2012

posted December 30, 2023 06:20 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lexxigramer     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Stawr:
The lights flickered in my room like crazy when I read your comment! Love and blessing to you too!

Cool😎❤️❤️
I have had others tell me similar things when talking to me or reading my posts.
I do my best to send out good vibes and energy and your comment tells me it must be working😎❤️
Thank you Stawr❤️
I replied on the other thread by Loveher too.
I am rather gloomy 😞 n it but not going to repost that reply on this thread.
Happy New Year 2024 to you Stawr❤️❤️❤️

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PixieJane
Knowflake

Posts: 9902
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010

posted December 30, 2023 06:46 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for PixieJane     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
You might find her story inspiring (or depressing in its own way, more than one who have done this--she's not alone--have not come to good ends, and the search engines now make it difficult to find unless you know exactly what you're looking for):
http://www.northcoastjournal.com/news/the-whistleblower-16241609

I could wax long on the disillusioning experiences with the medical community. As I'm helping one get off the meds making her sick now, not easy, and dealing with other stuff I just don't feel right sharing, I realize I made the right choice in not trusting the medical profession.

I did have an interesting talk with one doctor about to retire (they were pushing him to as he was of age and making him jump through hoops so they could get rid of him without him being able to sue them) that I might share later on what's wrong.

Maybe of all the patient dumping at homeless shelters. Gods.

But I don't feel like it, at least for now.


I will say I wholly relate to just letting the world go to hell. I think it needs to in order to have any chance of rebuilding itself as something better, but such death and rebirth will be painful in the extreme...but probably better off in the long run assuming the same pattern doesn't repeat itself (which the pattern is even now, us currently in the decadence part before collapse).

I do have some cause for optimism, but I'm not up for sharing that at the moment, either. Besides, despite people telling me I'm too cynical, I'd say 9x out of 10 of when I find out I was wrong, it was because I was not cynical enough!

But at least I know better to believe government and corporate authorities as they make a show of rending their garments and listening to their "ethics committee" (that is lawyers shielding them from liability while protecting corrupt practices). They're the ones profiting from it. Think they'll stop themselves? They never do in this (including terrible abuses and malpractice in nursing homes more concerned with profit than dignity) and many other fields, but most people keep thinking "glad that's settle then" and act like it's new when it pops up yet again 10 years later when there was never any change. If they were really going to stop it it would stop now, not 10 years from now.

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PixieJane
Knowflake

Posts: 9902
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010

posted December 30, 2023 06:50 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for PixieJane     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
On the racism bit, I remember seeing through one when I was just 13. Long story short, a man who fought in Vietnam (and I think felt guilty about it, but that's a gut feeling) adopted a baby from Vietnam (I think taken from one of the boat people that made it to China where they were penned up like animals, it would be the right time). I recall being surprised that one of far eastern features had a rural Texas accent like mine, but quickly accepted it with a shrug. As she was an outcast, she fell in our group, so we were friends.

Thing is, most who shunned her tried to blame the white parents for adopting her. She should be "with her own people." They had "hurt" her by taking her in and giving her a good home because now she wouldn't be accepted either among whites nor her own people. And even at age 13 I realized that with that being the case, the bad people were those who would not accept her, not those who adopted her. It's the same (on a social scale) of the abuser who brutalized and then says "you made me do that." And if even a child can see through it, then they surely do. (Heck, WE had no problem accepting her as one of us. How is it adults can't do what children can? And let's not forget her parents.)

At least on some level. Cognitive dissonance and tribal hijacking of an otherwise rational brain is a real thing that I wish was studied more. We're still animals learning to behave. I've been hit with this myself, which is disturbing and fascinating to me, but at least I can be made aware of it.

x

That said, things have gotten far worse. An old "hanging tree" (for lynching blacks back in the day) has been used for a "monument" with people playing deliberately stupid about how disturbing that is. Even people who I don't think are racist (at the very least they recognize exceptions to their rules of how the world is) but still identify with the community will pretend there's no deliberate symbolism there, even though there are plenty of other places that would've served just as well (and this was combined with the vandalism of a marker that showed regret of several racist lynchings as well, and I bet some of the vandals helped choose the spot of the hanging tree).

I remember that at least when that girl I mentioned was growing up and a more passive aggressive racism prevailed, the KKK along with any violent racism were despised, but no longer, and that makes me sad. I hope that girl is somewhere better now (having left as I did).

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PixieJane
Knowflake

Posts: 9902
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010

posted December 30, 2023 06:50 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for PixieJane     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Most religions that accept reincarnation often promote it in a way to pander to prejudice because this is what gets the church or order power and wealth, and keeps people dependent on them. (And maybe their own prejudices, so many look to God and actually just see their own ego or use it to feed their own narcissism.)

But there have been orders that saw the creation of an Immortal body (an esoteric concept I don't feel like explaining) whose goal was to use lives to become better rather than crawl back into the womb that spit them out. Though part of me sympathizes with those who do want to crawl back into the womb and forget all this ever existed.

On my less cynical side, I do think such practices of attempting to become more than thought possible with reincarnation as part of the process which very few practice will pay off in the end, but that we can't really know what the end result of that will be, and any description can only be in metaphor at this time, because our species is more like an embryo waiting to be born rather than the pinnacle of evolution many assume it is.

EDITED: the last two posts should've gone into the other thread that I conflated with this one (having read one and then the other):
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum27/HTML/002796.html

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