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Author Topic:   The lies people tell
aquaguy91
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From: Wankety Wankerson
Registered: Jan 2012

posted April 15, 2019 12:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I recently saw a reddit post from a young man (19 years old). He said he is having trouble with girls and is already starting to feel bitterness toward them because of how they treat guys and the seemingly endless options they have.

However, he clarified that he does not want to become a bitter misogynist like all the MGTOWs, failed puas, and MRA types.

And of course, people, mostly women, told him that things would work out eventually if he kept a positive attitude. They said if he kept developing into an interesting man that he would effortlessly meet women willing to date him in the future.


Reading that young man's post made me feel a tinge of sadness because I was once where he is. I was a starry eyed teenager who was already seeing that things werent quite the way they were supposed to be in the dating scene. However, I wanted to believe what people were telling me was true. I wanted to believe that if I just became more confident, dressed better, and put myself out there that things would improve.

Flashforward to today and I am a 28 year old man who has changed a lot. In a year, I will have two bachelor's degrees and a good paying job. I am also much more confident than I was a few years ago. I can chat up and flirt with women effortlessly. However, I am still being rejected by women like I was as a teenager. Not much has changed in that regard.

And that is hard to cope with. I struggle with depression and cant help but feel bitter toward women. I am also bitter about all the lies I was told. "Just be confident, dude!" "Get a better haircut, dude!" "Just be patient and you will eventually meet the one, dude!"

All lies. Men deserve, and need to be told, the truth. Knowing that you have little to no control over whether you will find someone is a bitter pill to swallow. That is beyond debate. But it is infinitely harder to swallow that pill when you find it out yourself after a decade of trying and being lied to. Those lies definitely hurt me and caused emotional damage. It is emotionally reckless to lie to people like that. Just dont do it.

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Randall
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From: From a galaxy, far, far away...
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posted April 16, 2019 11:34 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
It's all about life experience. Unfortunately, the only way to get it is to live.

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aquaguy91
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From: Wankety Wankerson
Registered: Jan 2012

posted April 16, 2019 06:08 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Randall:
It's all about life experience. Unfortunately, the only way to get it is to live.

Yes,
But we still shouldn't lie to young people and give them false hope.
And don't get me wrong, I am all for self development and teaching people to be their best selves. I have followed that path and don't regret it. Having said that, I still wish people hadn't lied to me and led me to believe it would guarantee success with women because it just doesn't. Being a confident, interesting and well rounded guy only gets you so far today when the average woman is a swipe or DM away from a guy who is better looking and all of those things.

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aquaguy91
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From: Wankety Wankerson
Registered: Jan 2012

posted April 17, 2019 11:26 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I just spoke to a girl here at school and she completely ignored me. I was only trying to tell her that the electrical outlet she plugged her laptop into doesn't work. Lol

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Randall
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posted April 17, 2019 02:01 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
I just spoke to a girl here at school and she completely ignored me. I was only trying to tell her that the electrical outlet she plugged her laptop into doesn't work. Lol

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anonymidarkness
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posted April 17, 2019 09:23 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for anonymidarkness     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Ya it's a lie, I mean if u dress better, get more confident, it might help in getting their attention a wee bit more, but at the end of the day it's about the person really.

Personally in my case, whenever I'm desperate to get a chick, I don't.

Whenever I'm just chill, not too desperate to get a chick, I do.

I feel like women can smell it.

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aquaguy91
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From: Wankety Wankerson
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posted April 17, 2019 10:08 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by anonymidarkness:
Ya it's a lie, I mean if u dress better, get more confident, it might help in getting their attention a wee bit more, but at the end of the day it's about the person really.

Personally in my case, whenever I'm desperate to get a chick, I don't.

Whenever I'm just chill, not too desperate to get a chick, I do.

I feel like women can smell it.



Sorry, but that is just more of the BS that I am railing against in the op. If what you said was the case, I would be much more successful today than I was in high school a decade ago. Back then, I was insecure as f*** and dysfunctionally shy. Guess what? I had girls approaching me! Nowadays, I am pretty confident and I get blown off. What is the difference between now and a decade ago? Social media, dating apps, and demographics. The average woman can post a picture on instagram and get over 100 interactions from thirsty guys. Any woman who is remotely attractive has a billion options and can afford to be extremely picky. The game radically shifted in women's favor when smartphones and social media blew up.

I have spent a lot of time around women. They are just as clueless about men as we are about them. They dont have any special insight into guys and how we feel inside. Plus, I am a double aquarius with a taurus moon. I am hard to read. People have told me as much lol.


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anonymidarkness
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posted April 17, 2019 11:31 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for anonymidarkness     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Idk, it's just my experience.

Ya about the social media, pop up a bit of cleavage and all the dogs in the hall start wagging their tails and tongues for them. I don't go down that route to get chicks really, gettting number, texting, sexting..that way works for me...call is even better, I'm even betterrr!! Harrr!! Harrr

Ya they ditch u fast yes, but I've found that there are chicks who are absolutely desperate for men too, they also lack a bit of self-esteem, but yeah if you're going for da BOMBS, you will find a lot of competition ofcourse and the ones who know how to post selfies(which I hate cuz I usually find it too fake to "pose") then you're gonna get thrown away ya.

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anonymidarkness
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posted April 17, 2019 11:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for anonymidarkness     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
The game has always been in favor of women tho no? Many dogs running after dat one ______(can't type that word, I'd be called a sexist) . And the more dogs she has after her, the more attractive she gets to get, even I feel like joining the rat race!!!!

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anonymidarkness
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posted April 17, 2019 11:53 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for anonymidarkness     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Do you love the moments you spend with them tho? Or is it all about getting them ?

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aquaguy91
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From: Wankety Wankerson
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posted April 19, 2019 10:22 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by anonymidarkness:
Do you love the moments you spend with them tho? Or is it all about getting them ?

I'll admit that this is hard. The problem is a lot of guys like myself are socially isolated and don't have many meaningful opportunities to connect with women.

Society always focuses on women's issues, and one of the things feminists rant about is power inbalances. Here's a power inbalance nobody talks about. Women and girls get a lot more social support than men and boys; especially during their formative years.

Women eagerly befriend them and guys want to date them. Meanwhile, if you are a guy, it is easy to fall through the cracks socially. And society wonders why so many men commit suicide or end up angry at the world.

Nobody gives a sh*t about lonely men. As long as they can date and f*ck and post cute selfies on social media, they are fine.

I am rooming with two guys right now and I have tried my hardest to befriend them, but they never include me in any of their activities. They go to parties and play basketball with other guys and I never get an invite. A week ago, I was sitting on the couch and one of my roommates asked me what I was doing that night and I replied "nothing." He said he was going to a party and walked out. Again, I wasn't invited.


Guys are tribal and are hesitant to add new guys into their social circles, and it's no secret that women despise strange men.

So, what is a guy like myself supposed to do?

My only option is to play the brutal online dating game and hope to catch a falling star. How am I supposed to avoid being desperate? My position is desperate. That is just the reality. I am completely at the mercy of women and their whims. If I go on a Tinder date and it doesn't work out, the woman will still have options and a large social network. And I will still be alone, isolated, and frustrated.

And it only gets harder to meet people the older you get.

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ballerina
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From: A Place on Earth
Registered: Feb 2014

posted April 19, 2019 11:59 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ballerina     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
It's all about our Thoughts..
Change your Thoughts and you
shall change your reality..
Wherever your feeding energy
wins. Feed the energy positive
and a whole new world opens..
We choose how we feel. ...

------------------
All my love, with all my Heart
lotusheartone/Emeraldopal

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aquaguy91
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From: Wankety Wankerson
Registered: Jan 2012

posted April 19, 2019 05:38 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by ballerina:
It's all about our Thoughts..
Change your Thoughts and you
shall change your reality..
Wherever your feeding energy
wins. Feed the energy positive
and a whole new world opens..
We choose how we feel. ...



I wish. Lol

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ballerina
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From: A Place on Earth
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posted April 19, 2019 05:58 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ballerina     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Aside from our karmic debts,
it is true, even if you don't
believe it!

I've got a topic about it
in Universal Codes called
The 3 Principles. ...

------------------
All my love, with all my Heart
lotusheartone/Emeraldopal

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aquaguy91
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From: Wankety Wankerson
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posted April 19, 2019 07:05 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by ballerina:
Aside from our karmic debts,
it is true, even if you don't
believe it!

I've got a topic about it
in Universal Codes called
The 3 Principles. ...



I am well aware of the 3 principles. I read several books about it.

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ballerina
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posted April 19, 2019 08:06 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ballerina     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Then you must know it
works!
I have studied all the
religions..this is the
answer..I am living proof!

I am physically changing,
everything is brand new
to me!
I am being reborn...
F the religious reference
I am self-sustaining life
through my pineal gland..
My cup runneth over
Everlasting Life. ...

------------------
All my love, with all my Heart
lotusheartone/Emeraldopal

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Randall
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posted April 22, 2019 05:00 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
You are someone's type. A lot of someones, actually. You just have to find her.

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LovelyAries86
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From: Pluto-Venusia
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posted April 23, 2019 12:13 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for LovelyAries86     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi AquaGuy! Long time, no see.

There are just as many women who are frustrated & disappointed with the dating scene as men. It may or may not be for different reasons, but they aren't happy either. Trust me, that's no lie!

And technology has truly ruined quality human interaction for many people all across-the-board. It does not benefit EITHER gender on a substantive level. Who cares about 100 dudes being in their inbox if the majority of them are complete trash?!

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LovelyAries86
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From: Pluto-Venusia
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posted April 23, 2019 12:25 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for LovelyAries86     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
I'll admit that this is hard. The problem is a lot of guys like myself are socially isolated and don't have many meaningful opportunities to connect with women.

Society always focuses on women's issues, and one of the things feminists rant about is power inbalances. Here's a power inbalance nobody talks about. Women and girls get a lot more social support than men and boys; especially during their formative years.

Women eagerly befriend them and guys want to date them. Meanwhile, if you are a guy, it is easy to fall through the cracks socially. And society wonders why so many men commit suicide or end up angry at the world.


I do agree with you about this.

And I've been very proactive over the last couple of years in speaking up about it as well. It definitely isn't fair to men and it must be corrected.

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aquaguy91
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From: Wankety Wankerson
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posted April 23, 2019 02:31 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by LovelyAries86:

Who cares about 100 dudes being in their inbox if the majority of them are complete trash?!



And this is how women feel about the vast majority of men. Lol

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ballerina
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posted April 23, 2019 12:08 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ballerina     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Women wanted equal rights,
and pushed themSelves into
the world of men..
Men became stay at home dads
..the imbalance is causing
another imbalance...

Shall we ever meet in
the middle?

------------------
All my love, with all my Heart
lotusheartone/Emeraldopal

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teasel
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posted April 23, 2019 02:17 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for teasel     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by LovelyAries86:
I do agree with you about this.

And I've been very proactive over the last couple of years in speaking up about it as well. It definitely isn't fair to men and it must be corrected.


I actually disagree with him on this. As a girl who was bullied through most of my school years, to the point where I was suicidal, and dropped out. I've also dealt with bullying and shunning as an adult, which I vented about for years here, as it was going on.

There are men who push this kind of thing, and then at the same time, will turn around and say that women are gossipy drama-filled liars that can't be trusted - so one of these days, I'd like to know which one it is. Do we get a lot of social support, or are we all just frenemies, waiting to turn on each other? Women can never win with these men.

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LovelyAries86
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posted April 23, 2019 02:59 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for LovelyAries86     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:


And this is how women feel about the vast majority of men. Lol

[/QUOTE]

That's literally all you have to say to everything I said to you?

Strange.

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LovelyAries86
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posted April 23, 2019 03:11 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for LovelyAries86     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by ballerina:
Women wanted equal rights,
and pushed themSelves into
the world of men..
Men became stay at home dads
..the imbalance is causing
another imbalance...

Shall we ever meet in
the middle?


You're correct about the imbalance. It's waaaaay off.

I do think that your *average* woman still desires quite a few elements of tradition in her love life. Are they being forthright about this with men?? No, most are not. "Equal" does not mean exactly THE SAME in every single way. It's about being complimentary! And too many people get confused about this. Just because a woman goes out to work does not mean that she wants to lead in a relationship and/or swap the roles with her man. No.

BTW - I do not identify as a Feminist. What I am is a Realist.

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LovelyAries86
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From: Pluto-Venusia
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posted April 23, 2019 03:18 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for LovelyAries86     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by teasel:
I actually disagree with him on this. As a girl who was bullied through most of my school years, to the point where I was suicidal, and dropped out. I've also dealt with bullying and shunning as an adult, which I vented about for years here, as it was going on.

There are men who push this kind of thing, and then at the same time, will turn around and say that women are gossipy drama-filled liars that can't be trusted - so one of these days, I'd like to know which one it is. Do we get a lot of social support, or are we all just frenemies, waiting to turn on each other? Women can never win with these men.


Statistically, men definitely commit suicide more often. On average, women have a lot more emotional support from loved ones & society in general. That doesn't take away from experiences like yours though! I've been mistreated before in my life as well.

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