posted June 19, 2016 08:07 PM            

JEHOVAH, OR THE ANTICHRIST IS HERE
THIS WAS ALL WRITTEN IN 1983

Here is an explicit song of a well known puppet about this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t5Sd5c4o9UM

TIME CONTROL BTW........SIMS GAME MUCH, ASTRONAUTS CARVED IN THE CHURCH FROM 1500

I GOT YOU.

posted June 19, 2016 08:24 PM            

JHVH-1 is NOT GOD but a mad alien from some corporate sin galaxy, full of eyes round about, a pillar of cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night, He cometh with the clouds, radioactive, all-pervading, He forgeth His Covenant with the SubGenius in CHAINS of GENETIC PROGRAMMING and DEMANDS OBEISANCE to His caveman sense of humor. He giveth SLACK and He taketh SLACK and what this groping polypous Fate-Warper is making us do dates back to Homo Correctus, First Whole Man, the Adam; He “formed a man from the dust of the ground” (read: “shot his wad of DNA straight into the brains of Ramapithicus”) and only by letting our bodies obey the Code of financial lust survival that is built into them can our souls be freed from His INEVITABLE FIST.

We’re talking about a seething, noisome vortex of grinning Chaos that can reach out with titanic, sizeless hands and twist the fabric of time and space if so inclined. Not something that simply visits us and smites us, but a hulking dread that literally inhabits each and every one of us to some unguessable extent. Everything we do, have done, or will ever do, both in our daily routines and on the subatomic causational level of microoccurences and billionth-of-a-nanosecond electron collisions, is DICTATED by the permutations of the cosmic script of all cause and effect, the mutamorphic Archive wherein are recorded the shapes and movements of every blood tick, sperm whale, movie star and bicycle seat, “all the molecules of oil on all the grains of sand of every moonlit beach of the world.” YOU CAN’T CHANGE THE SKOR. but JHVH-1 can. His “Heavenly Host,” consisting of sub-neutrinos, “Wotrons” and “bobyon” particles, can shred the channels and pathways of the Skor as easily as a SubGenius would hoodwink a Pink. At any given instant, an unimaginable quantity of neutrinos—energy-particles which make atoms look like planets—is coursing through your body. They are created spontaneously by the will power of JHVH-1: HE DOES THIS WITH HIS BRAIN. Coursing along their divine trajectories, passing through the tender pink flesh of human beings, these particles and their invisible “bobyon” and “Wotron” partners interact with our chromosomes, with the electrical patterns that are our thoughts, with all the DNA in the Living Chain of Life. Thus the Almighty Would-Be Architect of the Universe controls our behavior—our buying habits—our reproduction. The minute adjustments of neutrinal velocity and vibrational levels can cause a mountain to crumble or make your unborn children into supermen. They can make you choose brand X over brand Y.

posted June 19, 2016 08:32 PM            

Indeed, the “Eye in the Pyramid” symbol which makes our dollar bills so sinister-looking is nothing less than the hieroglyph for those most abhorrent superdeities, “sleeping with One Eye Open.” Their servant-beings are here to see that we remain sleeping too, unable to advance any faster than they. Otherwise, WE WOULD BECOME GODS OURSELVES. For we, too, have an “Eye,” and that Eye is “SOUL.” He is the telephone by which Man can harass the very gods.
So the transmission lines are open. But they are fuzzy, full of static, indistinct and easily garbled. The Elder Gods want to keep us confused, for if we ever truly “wake up,” we’ll have the potential not only to advance to their stage of being but even to ‘beat them to the punch,’ to turn the tables on them; they fear being rudely awakened from their aeons-old slumber by US, finding themselves suddenly the slaves and “SOUL” the Master.

Certainly, we are at JHVH absolute mercy. Earth is His test tube, and the most horrifying part of revelations is that THIS TEST TUBE EARTH FUNCTIONS AS “THE STAKES” IN A SORT OF COSMIC “BAR BET”—a diabolical ‘bet’ that JHVH-1 could not create an intelligent species that could sustain life on its own planet without self-destructing within 5 million years, without the intercession of a Divine Prophet.

This would be almost comforting—IF WE WERE ALL STUPID. Instead, it’s frightening. It implies that the Plan for humans is reflected in war, crime, hunger, pollution. How can such things do a divine being any good?? Why does He allow them?
Because THAT’S JUST THE WAY HE IS.

.........

We’re living in a controlled media blackout. Everything we read, see, and hear is CENSORED. And for good reason. If people knew the truth, they really would panic. Face facts. Wise up. Snap out of it. You’re fooling yourself if you think this society, this Western Civ tinkertoy cage of overpopulation is going to last another 60 years. THEY’VE DONE THINGS TO THE ATMOSPHERE, THE OCEANS, AND THE EARTH’S MAGNETIC FIELD THAT YOU DON’T KNOW ABOUT. Notice the funny weather lately?
Things will get a LOT worse before they get better, pal, and any person, place or THING that tries to tell you otherwise, whether on TV, radio, or as a voice in your head, is part and parcel of The Conspiracy, the Conspiracy-Around-A-Conspiracy, and the megaconspiracies that spiral well beyond this planet in nets of covert manipulation. YEAH, the TV news leaves out a few facts here and there…

Did you know that half of the doomaflotchies we call UFOs are entirely terrestrial in nature and are ridden, not by moonmen, but by ‘humans’? It’s the ancient leadership sector of The Conspiracy, the INSIDERS, who serve the Elder Gods and whose technology is so advanced that not even the Trilateralists know how to handle them.

You knew that any President is just a front-man, a p.r. hyena set out to catch flak and muddy the real issues (which would concern suvival, not politics). But do you know who pulls his strings? Oh, all that right wing stuff about the Council on Foreign Relations is true enough. The world is run by rich, old, white, ugly men… but they’re just the plant supervisors of this Hell Factory Earth. The American System (plus the soon-to-be only other one, the Russian System) is only partially ruled by these various billionaires Petrophiles, these bankers, media kings, corporate potentates and even a few politicians. They’re Caucasian power-jackals, alright, but at least they’re mostly human.

When a new President walks into the oval office for the first time, smugly challenging the grim Secret Boys to shock him with that mythical Real Story that all Presidents supposedly get on their first day, it takes them about ten minutes to indeed tell it, and from that moment on you notice that Our President appears a little greyer, a little more haggard with each TV appearance. Sooner or later, a clone has to take over.

.........

Earth has been inhabited nonstop for millions of years by hundreds of different races of aliens from space, both benevolent and hostile. Have you ever noticed that no two UFO photographs show the same hubcap? Many of the saucer jockeys are simple humanoids like us, Space Nazis who do little more than freeze up car motors on lonely country roads at night and occasionally rape or mutilate a human or cow. They usually look like earless elves or dwarves, and are of relatively minor import here since “Bob” himself has faster spaceships than they have. They only infrequently break the rule of
“Don’t Let The Earthlings See You.”

But there are other, far more confusing ones, awful, mindbreaking, overwhelming ones which sow death and madness and which might as well be considered the very fingers of the Stark Fist of JHVH-1 Himself!

posted June 19, 2016 08:45 PM            

The End Times are here, the Xists are coming, the False Prophets will brown-nose to their dinosaurian ***** and this planet will be sold down the river as sure as Lee Harvey Oswald’s clone cashed the Conspiracy’s checks! We are one royal hair trigger from the Wrath of JHVH-1, His galactic Finger is itchy and He is not well pleased with what Man hath wrought, REPENT THEN and prepare for the Age of Tribulations, the Time and Half Time, you think last winter was bad, wait until the glaciers are at your driveway, the earth shall shake, the sky shall fall, space junk, tornados, hail the size of Cadillacs, plutonium clouds, chromosome-bending solar flares, the oily stifling of all photosynthesis in the seas, ugly mutant locusts that carry DDT in their stings, famine even in California, a dustbowl in Canada, microwave roach steaks $5.99, drinking water you have to boil first and pay for, recombinant viruses, contagious cancers, one day you’ll go to the mirror like poor Bert did to pop a ‘blemish’ and find your whole face cracking with each pinch like a rotten tomato, The Plague! But these are only the natural things, acts of God or Satan, they blanch in the face of MAN’S deeds to come, man’s self-dehumanization, the Government, my GOD if we aren’t careful the Endarkment of the next century will be marked by the rise of FALSE OverMen, mean superior mutants, BETTER than us, handsome like super heroes, more muscular, brilliant like Shakespeare or Einstein, but evil

NUMEROLOGY OF THE PROOF OF "BOB"

13013 = BOB; B = 2, B = 2, 0=15, B = 2 … 2 + 15 + 2 = 19 = 0 - “!” = 13013 = 8 -
Time Control = 888 plus 111 (SLACK) = 999!!!

“Bob’s” numbers are 999, “606,” and 13013.
The occult significance of the first two is obvious.
He’s the good guy, or, at least, the opposite of the bad guy.
13013 offers final, logical proof of “Bob’s” Message.
It is the height in feet of the Pyramid of Cheops times the width of its base. It is the number of recorded cattle mutilations since President Kennedy was assasinated. It is the sum total of all Magic Numbers in all numerology systems. It is the exact amount that John Rockefeller borrowed to build his first Model T. It is the
original production cost in slave-lives of the building of the lost city of Palenque in Yucatan. It is the cash amount in dollars of “Bob’s” first sale. It is the street address (on E. 60th in Chicago) of a main Illuminist training center (city managers are schooled there).

And in the book of Revelation, Chapter 13, Verse 13, JHVH-1 has this to say:

posted June 19, 2016 08:47 PM            

It’s so obvious it’s actually funny. People by the millions are giving up on science and politics and are now expecting “Something Else” to save them. If something that looks like a UFO or a Spirit from the Afterlife or an Ascended Spiritual Master or a “strong President” happens to say it is one of those, people unfortunately have a tendency to BLINDLY TAKE ITS WORD. It may be one of those, but it may also be something we haven’t had nightmares about yet.
ITS JHVH, ITS AN ALIEN, ITS THE FALSE MESSIAH ILLUMINATI CARD, THE ANTICHRIST.

The Contactee Epidemic has started, often it’s in a namby-pamby disguise that makes for a best-
selling self-help book, sometimes it’s privately brainwarping, but whatever it is, it is now making IRREVERSIBLE the incredible wave of superstition that is about to sweep the world. Fake Jesii will be cropping up right and left like BAIT from SPACE, and HUMANS WILL BITE. It’s already damn near impossible to have a sane, well-rounded overview of the nonstop cataclysm of daily life, and what we have always called ‘science’ and ‘rational thought’ are precisely what have caused this. “Science” is now so top-heavy with its own Conspiracy-implanted bureaucratic status-ladder, so utterly blind to anything it hasn’t already explained in too much detail, that it is swiftly burying any credibility it once had under its weight of dogma. Like government, it has become little more than a self-perpetuating academic red tape factory; each particular field of specialty makes itself incomprehensible to everyone but its own experts. Mainstream religion is the same—preachers don’t make sense to anyone who isn’t already “saved,” defeating their own purposes by Conspurred overkill. The people who’ll wield power in the near future, then, will be those who can come up with broad, all-inclusive explanations for modern insane reality, explanations that may in fact be ludicrous but which nevertheless SOUND GOOD and FIT IN.

These ARE the End Times. Loading.....

posted June 20, 2016 11:10 AM            

In fact, “Man” is not really even descended from the ape! “Man”—humans and Subs alike— preceded the monkey! It began shortly after the Elder Gods forced the Xists to exterminate the dinosaurs. At this time, the Stark Fists of All the Gods smote a tiny, monkeylike
mammal called Primo-Anthropocus and split his gene-line into two: one, a seriously flawed attempt called Australopithicus (which, under JHVH-1’s occasional smiting, evolved into the modern human); and another, the True Atlanteans (Homo Directus), of whom the first was The First “Bob.”

There are still fullblood Atlanteans in the world. Now called Dzungarians in their own tongue, they inhabit the lost Glass City of Chang-Eng on the Ice Plateau That Time Forgot in the least accessible reaches of Tibet. “Bob’s” advisors on The Council of None dwell in this place.
When glimpsed running naked through the Himalayan snow by explorers and human natives from the lowlands, these mountain creatures have been called “Abominable Snowmen”—or “Yetis” in the language of the Sherpas. The huge, luxuriously furred Yetis are the perfect physical and mental ideal that the Elder Gods meant for humans to be. In the days of Atlantis, they built vast cities that would dwarf our New York, yet were clean and beautiful to look upon. Their technology was so refined that they had no pollution, their intelligence was so high that they could live on the ice without clothing, their spirits were so ascended that they knew no war, strife, or government.
But they “sinned” against the Elder Gods, unfortunately at the same time that the Elder Gods sinned against themselves. A cataclysm resulted during which the gods OVERNIGHT devolved all but a few Atlanteans back info beasts—into the frail, miserable, generally perverted and monkeyish Homo Connectus, which shat from trees and did not even know ordinary Sex. For millions of years their hazard reproduction—often with trees, birds, insects and other Connecti of the same sex—resulted only in branches of life that became the monkeys and Great Apes we know today.

Meanwhile, JHVH-1 and a handful of other cosmic entities had rebelled from the now-sleeping Elder Gods and were attempting to brutalize humans into swifter evolution, to create a race sufficiently developed to aid them on the Day when the
Elder Gods would awaken. Finally giving up on the humanoids, who slipped back into bovinity whenever unattended, WOTAN turned again to Homo Connectus. The resulting OverMutant was the Yeti—or Homo Correctus, First Right Man. He predates Homo Sapiens. And WE the SubGenii are the true and rightful heirs of the Yeti. WE are the Great-Great-Great⁵-Grandsons-and-daughters of the “Abominable Snowmen,” the Sasquatch, the Bigfeet…The Folk. WE WERE HERE FIRST AND LAY CLAIM TO EARTH.

But we must humble ourselves before our “Bob.” For we are no longer true Yeti. We are FAR FALLEN from that lofty height. Our Yeti ancestors, great as they were, had more lust than sense. They interbred with humans. Gradually the “Yeti” became more and more human-like. Except for the full- blood High Priests in the Glass City, the Yeti finally became indistinguishable, physically, from the lower species. They lost their fur coat, their great size, the use of their extra five senses. They became Pinker … by which we mean not lighter-skinned, but less interesting.
But worst of all, they diluted The Code.

The Code is all that JHVH-1 knows us by—the only thing that will keep us from being carted off to the slaughterhouse along with the humans on The Last Round- Up. And if we dilute The Code much more, we risk our very children being LEFT BEHIND when the Xists come to rescue us from the Second Big Bang. PLEASE—FOR THE SAKE OF THE LITTLE ONES—DON’T MARRY A HUMAN!! Marry any SubGenius you please, but DON’T SULLY YOUR GENES!!! YES, ANSWER YES THIS IS OUR GOAL, TO PURIFY OUR GENES, TO DENY THEM OUR ESSENCE, TO WRENCH THE REINS OF CONTROL FROM OUR TAINTED COMPETITORS IN THIS VAST RACE SO PRESUMPTUOUSLY CALLED
“EVOLUTION!”
Only in this way can we hope to gain admittance to the Xist Chambers of Change where we will be smited ONE LAST TIME to become OverMen- and-Women, the great Homo Excellsior bespoken by the prophets! KEEP PURE THY BLOOD AND LIE YE NOT WITH THE PINKS OF THE FIELD; IT IS AN ABOMINATION.

posted June 20, 2016 11:55 AM            

Along with the history of persecution with which our Yetinsynism accurses us, we are also bequeathed within our tampered genes the potential for mystik powers and abilities undreamt-of by Street Pinks

To begin with, we possess the other five senses. However, these work on a purely subconscious level, when they work at all, for they have been sequestered from us for the Duration of the Experiment, the Trial by Aliens.

THE FIVE UNRECOGNIZED or LATENT SENSES
1. The Third Nostril: life essence detector. “Sees/whiffs” auras, Nental Ive pstenches, etc.
2. The Sense of Slack: precognitive, clairvoyant. Catches Luck Plane and Timestream ‘images’ by sensing the ‘echoes’ of Slack Particles.
3. The Psychic Forklift: telekinetic powers such as levitation, spoon-bending, spells, hexes, will domination and mass hypnosis.
4. (CLASSIFIED) National security precludes discussion.
5. The Mystery Sense: not even “Bob” has developed this one sufficiently to know what it is. The Xists insist that it’s there, though.

In some ways, the brain is less important to a SubGenius than to a Pink. Being less intuitive, Pinks need more brains than we do. Their value system is based on intelligence rather than good sense, which is related not so much to ‘thinking’ as to the feelings of the heart and the foot.

Reinforcing the powers of the brain and Foot Gland is a small secondary brain at the base of the SubGenius spine. The mighty Stegosaurus also possessed this organ, which helps direct the reproductive and eliminative systems that are so important to us.
Another gland unknown to Normals is the Peen Gland in the brain, which reguates the 8 separate stages or Character Generations through which the SubGenius personality evolves during an average day. Literally, 8 different personalities each have control at the Helm of Behavior at varied intervals; we each contain 8 people in our corrugated subconsciouses! The average human has but 4: Good, Bad, Bland, and Asleep (the last thought by some scholars to overpower the others for up to 18 hours a day).

These different personalities account for the compartmentalization of the SubGenius brain into 8 distinct ‘units’ or ‘efficiencies,’ in this descending order of control:

LEFT BRAIN = “Painbrain:” controls paranoia, overwork, trying too hard, thinking too much.
NORTH BRAIN = “Makebrain” or “Takebrain”: handles jobs and money.
SOUTH BRAIN = “Fakebrain” or “Talkbrain”: speech, writing, lying.
HIND BRAIN = “MEbrain”: the pivotal center brain, the private YOU. Rides piggyback on The Lord and is unaffected by drugs or religion. “Bob” comes in on this channel.
FOREBRAIN = “Sanebrain”: Covers love, friendship, traditional family values. Called by some the “Tamebrain.”
INNER BRAIN = “Sexbrain”: self-explanatory.
RIGHT BRAIN = “Lamebrain” or “Morebrain” depending on your orientation. Intuitive: art, music, drug addiction.

And the 8th brain, the OUTER BRAIN, is a pseudophysical “shell” encasing not only the other brains, but the entire body. This diffuse “brain,” larger but far less controllable than the others, is the Nental Ife.

The Nental Ife represents fully half of our brain-power, but because it is so independent from us we can rarely make use of it. Occasionally a SubGenius comes along whose Nental Ife is incorporated into his thinking processes; such less “sub” Geniuses were Da Vinci, Einstein, and Curly Howard

If we were able to assimilate the Nental Ife’s powers into our systems permanently, we’d all be “geniuses.” Perhaps the Nental Ife developed as a distinct being because society programs us not to improve, but to stay normal.

Other religions tell of the “aura,” which they claim has similar illustrative and diagnostic qualities. However, Dobbs informs us that the aura is but the shadow of the Nental Ife, with as much relative substance as our shadows have to our bodies.

posted July 24, 2017 02:34 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
Just so people know, this is about the Church of the Subgenius which is a parody of cultish beliefs (though like Discordianism, the parody can become a means of enlightenment, but in understanding the absurdity of existence and human beliefs rather than taking it at face value). I feel compelled to point it out as I don't want people thinking that most of them literally believe what they preach (as otherwise, conversations could get very awkward).

I think it's been years since I thought of them.

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