posted November 25, 2012 03:16 PM            

If you want me to look and we can discuss it more, put a thread on here attention to me--
Like BB Natal! xx

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted November 25, 2012 07:01 PM            

http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum11/HTML/005036.html

posted November 26, 2012 09:12 AM            

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted November 26, 2012 05:46 PM            

I got really busy today, but I will come back when I can and we can continue our talk.

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted November 27, 2012 09:40 PM            

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted November 27, 2012 09:43 PM            

You are very, very charismatic! You may over indulge and then pull back. Your chart is separated from your sexuality, I think. This will be a struggle but you are extroverted, sexy and super perceptive. These are strengths.

Your early home was very hard.

Your Cap ASC makes you responsible which is good when you have this level of primal power and raw charisma.

I will stop there. What do you think?

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted November 29, 2012 02:21 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ami Anne:
You are a natural extrovert. You may not feel it but the chart never lies.

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I don't know how to respond to this. I get really lonely, and being around other people -- family, friends and coworkers -- helps me feel more stable. But I'm not much of a talker. I don't do small talk. I'm not very outgoing. I often feel awkward, out of place or just negative in social situations because I don't know what to say. I clam up and hide in a corner. I don't have anything to talk about. I'm wary and defensive toward other people.

My understanding is an "extrovert" is someone who is energized by other people, who thinks out loud, someone whose focus is outward. The definition of "introvert" is someone who is energized by solitude, who thinks before speaking, someone whose focus is inward. By those definitions, I classify myself as an introvert.

quote:

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You have strong struggles and strong gifts. You are very perceptive and very powerful as a person i,e a lot of primal personal power but you have great self doubt from your relationship with your father.

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Struggles, yes... Who am I? What do I need and want? Is that what I really need and want? Why? What's the point? I constantly question myself. I feel that any real "gifts" I might have, any "primal personal power" is sabotaged by doubt and frustration and confusion, and eventually by apathy and something like nihilism or fatalism.

I have weak relationships with both of my parents. My mother and I seem to be at odds with each other, a constant low-level conflict or tension... something very square-ish: a Libra, a social, talkative, relatively cool and emotionless person trying to deal with a Scorpio, a sensitive, reclusive, introspective person. Appealing to my mother, especially on anything emotional, typically results in confusion and rejection. I would expect to see some squares, inconjunctions or oppositions in synastry between our natal charts. My father and I don't seem to have the conflicting, crossed energy between us like I experience with my mother; my father and I are simply distant. Dad isn't "cold", but he's very "dry" -- he's a Virgo. I've always felt that any attempt to get emotional support from him would result in an apologetic shrug; he means well but he does not seem to be able to understand how I feel.

Do any of the planets represent our relationships with our siblings?

quote:

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(...) you have great gifts of power and perception which can be channeled into writing or some field in which a person needs tensile personal strength.

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I've thought about becoming an FBI agent. Upholding justice and the law, protecting innocent people, digging out corruption... it sounds like a noble calling. Dangerous work, hunting armed criminals; something out on the edge of life, something that would make me feel alive, something I could be proud of doing. But I don't trust the government; I don't trust the hand that wields the sword. I don't want to be the instrument of someone else's machinations.

posted November 29, 2012 02:57 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
If your Houses are right, you will play out your gifts in group settings.

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Well, I have a stellium in the 9th house: expansion, exploration, education, religion, philosophy, writing. Pluto in Libra in the 9th is concerned with power and its uses in those areas; politics, government. So yes, I can see that in my chart.

quote:

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You are very, very charismatic! You may over indulge and then pull back. Your chart is separated from your sexuality, I think. This will be a struggle but you are extroverted, sexy and super perceptive. These are strengths.

---

If I am charismatic, it's not intentional; it's not charisma for its own sake. It's not attention-seeking. I can be obsessed, determined, passionate about what I am interested in and what I believe in, and sometimes this spills out into my communication.

I'm too focused on money and resources and saving/investing for the future to really indulge on anything material. I dislike myself too much to really indulge in anything personal.

That word "struggle" keeps coming up, over and over. I'd trade my wealth for a trine or two in my chart, just so I could relax a little.

Sexy? I don't know. I don't really see it. I am my own worst enemy and my own harshest critic; I don't know if I could ever see myself that way, or feel that way, to carry myself that way.

quote:

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Your early home was very hard.

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It wasn't hard externally -- I never wanted for shelter or sustenance, and as far as I know, I was never physically or psychologically abused. But yes, it was hard internally; no emotional support from either parent, from any family or friends. No one to talk to. No one to validate my thoughts and feelings against. No one to help me cope with the challenges of adolescence, my growing frustrations with myself and the world. No comfort. No relief.

quote:

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Your Cap ASC makes you responsible which is good when you have this level of primal power and raw charisma.

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Normally that would be fine, but it's excessive. It's stifling, damning, damaging. It's a combination of things; stifled self-expression, indicated by Capricorn Ascendant; stifling drive and responsibility, blocked and repressed sexuality, indicated by Saturn in Scorpio; doubt and upheaval of identity and sense of self, communications and thinking, goals and motivations and purpose in life, indicated by Sun, Mercury and Saturn conjunct Pluto. "What do you do?" Well, I've beat the living **** out of myself, mentally and emotionally, for about a decade. How's that for a hobby?

posted November 29, 2012 07:05 AM            

I have an extrovert chart as does DL. I have had this talk with him and he tests as an introvert but the chart never lies so what the chart calls an extrovert may not be what psych tests call an extrovert.

At any rate, something LIKE the FBI may be good. I don't trust the government either but you are very talented. You just have to find your fit.

You feel very charismatic and sexy, to me. I can feel your brooding intensity in your writing. The exact mars/venus would make you very sexy. You don't know it or "use" it, so you don't use it as a player, it appears

Anyway, we are not finished!

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted December 01, 2012 10:18 AM            

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted December 02, 2012 11:21 AM            

Romance is one of the joys in life.

You need to really find that joyful child who can play and let loose. This is what your deepest heart wants. Does that feel right?

After you answer, I will go on to the square to Venus conj Mars in Virgo in the 8th. I think these squares are a big part of your angst and almost the feeling of wanting to give up

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted December 02, 2012 06:55 PM            

Let me try Did I do it?

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted December 02, 2012 06:56 PM            

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted December 03, 2012 07:19 AM            

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted December 03, 2012 05:44 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ami Anne:
I have an extroverted chart, too, but have hidden myself away for long periods when my defense mechanisms had all they could take and I could not cope, anymore.

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"Hidden away" is my default state. Sun in Scorpio indicates this, obviously... I'm not sure what other placements in my chart indicate withdrawl; maybe Saturn in Scorpio? "What can I do today? I should get out of the house, but where could I go? Not to a bar, that won't work... not to the gardens, went there with family last weekend..." -shrug- "There's no where else to go. I guess I need to find something to do here at home." Besides work, I only leave the house to go to the store, to visit family, or if a friend invites me out for dinner -- and I don't know why they bother, since I'm a killjoy. Hah.

quote:

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At any rate, something LIKE the FBI may be good.

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Besides the FBI (and a few things in the military), I've thought about teaching. I enjoy sharing the things that I've learned. (Sun conjuct Mercury - any other indicators?) But I really only enjoy teaching one-on-one (Sun in Scorpio -- close relationships); teaching isn't very prestigious, and teachers usually don't make much money (Capricorn Ascendant, Sun in Scorpio, Mars in the 8th House); and I'm afraid that I would get bored with the subject or the career and switch to something else (Moon in Gemini), wasting whatever time I spent earning a degree/certification to teach in the first place.

quote:

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I can feel your brooding intensity in your writing.

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I usually put a lot of effort into writing well (Capricorn Ascendant, Mercury in Libra)... it's nice that someone noticed.

quote:

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The exact mars/venus would make you very sexy. You don't know it or "use" it, so you don't use it as a player, it appears

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Yeah... I didn't even try to date until I was 27. I kind of understand: the Venus - Mars conjunction gives people a natural or easy approach to romance (or at least, a consistent one). I wish I could experience that. But my mind goes off in too many other directions and I get bored easily (Moon in Gemini, again); I worry about too much, and the past weighs on me; cynicism/fatalism ("It didn't work before... it's not going to work now") -- indicated by Saturn in Scorpio? Or maybe the T-squares, where my Venus and Mars are at the apex...

Repressed, repressed, repressed. I'm constantly telling myself "No."

posted December 03, 2012 05:57 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ami Anne:
Your moon conj NN in Gemini in the 5th shows that one of your life purposes is to be found in the joy and creativity of just being who you are and shouting it from the rooftops. Romance is a form of freedom, creativity and fun, too.

You need to really find that joyful child who can play and let loose. This is what your deepest heart wants. Does that feel right?

---

Yeah, that's Moon in Gemini. I guess so. I've repressed that a lot over the years, because I didn't have the money, didn't want to spend the money, or I just didn't know what to do.

I like playing the drums. That's fun and creative. And I like writing music on the computer, sort of -- I'm a perfectionist, and I get discouraged easily. But I do those things alone, because... well... I think I would be uncomfortable trying to do them with other people, even though I feel lonely.

I used to play video games a lot, but I slowly quit. It was a combination of burnout (work-eat-game-sleep, repeat ad infinitum) and a feeling of irresponsibility; "I should be doing something productive instead of playing games... this is a total waste of time..."

Just being who I am... I don't know who I am. That's one of the things that holds me back from dating. There's nothing behind the clothes and the face; nothing but confusion. I imagine a conversation on a date: "So what do you do?" "I'm a computer programmer." "What do you do for fun?" "Uh... fun? What is that? I don't do anything for fun. I don't know how to have fun." "Hahahah... ahhh... ok bye." End of date.

quote:

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Romance is one of the joys in life.

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That's what I've heard / read. I hope I get to experience that once or twice before I die. I keep looking for someone halfheartedly, even though I don't think I'm actually going to find someone... even though I don't know how to make it work.

posted December 03, 2012 06:02 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ami Anne:
How do you do the bold?

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If you're asking about the bold from the funky quoting I do, here's the method to my madness:

Copy original message into Notepad.

Break up as desired, write responses.

When done, wrap original text in quote and bold tags.

The end result looks like this:

(quote)Originally posted by Whoever: (b)
What they said.
(/b)(/quote)

What I said.

(quote)(b)
Other stuff they said.
(/b)(/quote)

Other stuff I said.

Etc.

(But replace the ( ) parenthesis with [ ] brackets.)

When I'm done, I copy the whole message from Notepad and paste it into the Reply box in my browser and click Submit.

I do that so if I messed something up, I can just copy the message I wrote and paste it back in again.

Warning: This kind of editing is natural for me, but I'm a programmer and I know HTML and I'm a lunatic. It's probably not natural for other people...

posted December 03, 2012 07:55 PM            

You know, DL was very shy and he blossomed and started helping people and he became a Mod and he took off. I can feel that same wonderful potential in you, BB

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted December 03, 2012 08:00 PM            

I think your Virgo square of venus conj Mars to this Moon in the 5th is one of your hardest things.

I can tell you that you are super sexy and super charismatic. I bet a lot of girls are interested and you don't realize it. I know this, from the chart.

What do you think

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted December 04, 2012 01:32 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ami Anne:
[b]Grrr, forget that. I will just use this

You know, DL was very shy and he blossomed and started helping people and he became a Mod and he took off. I can feel that same wonderful potential in you, BB

[/B]

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im still here just had been very busy but you know LL and MCP are my sites ^^

@blackbird

what do you define as fun for you?
most people i met just threw dancing or drinking but each and every person have their own definition of fun
if a person is willing to cut a date on a definition of fun....its not meant to be

all in all your venus/mars in my oponion puts perfectionst attitudes that your love hungry moon just doesent need

i think that the venus/mars should be kept in your job/sex life and you should date usuing your moon

yea i said dating with moon XD

it will have a strong and strange minimizing feel that might seem shallow at first but might seem very enjoyable and fulfilling

a farily intesnly repressed stellium has a rescue valve in neptune so maybe looking for other artist who make similiar arts to you might be an amazing opportunity to open up

posted December 04, 2012 02:11 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by doommlord:
@blackbird

what do you define as fun for you?
most people i met just threw dancing or drinking but each and every person have their own definition of fun

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I don't have an immediate definition for "fun" or a list of "fun" things to do. I have to think about it... and that tells me that something is wrong. People tell me, "you need to lighten up and just go have fun". All I can do is shrug my shoulders helplessly in response because I don't know what they're talking about. I see other people enjoying themselves in various activities, but so far I haven't found anything like that. I haven't found anything that really makes me happy.

I don't know how to dance, and I'm smart enough to realize that drinking won't help anything. It doesn't help me relax, it doesn't make me funny, it doesn't make anyone else more attractive, and it doesn't make me confident -- so much for "liquid courage". I know what alcohol does to the mind, and it scares me. So I don't drink very much.

quote:

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if a person is willing to cut a date on a definition of fun....its not meant to be

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What do you mean?

quote:

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all in all your venus/mars in my oponion puts perfectionst attitudes that your love hungry moon just doesent need

i think that the venus/mars should be kept in your job/sex life and you should date usuing your moon

yea i said dating with moon XD

it will have a strong and strange minimizing feel that might seem shallow at first but might seem very enjoyable and fulfilling

---

This kind of makes sense, although I thought about it from the other direction. I wish I could get rid of my fickle, mental Gemini moon and be more... spiritual, more empathetic. Pisces or something. I don't have anything against Gemini... it's just an oddball in my chart, surrounded by earth and water signs...

quote:

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a farily intesnly repressed stellium has a rescue valve in neptune so maybe looking for other artist who make similiar arts to you might be an amazing opportunity to open up

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I think the Virgo bits of me are shying away from this idea. I don't really know why. Some part of me feels that it would be awkward or silly, or that we would end up competing with each other -- and I hate competition.

quote:

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its morning here and got a big test but i had to write this down
il try to cover anything ami has yet to catch as soon as i get home

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Thanks for responding. Best of luck on your test.

posted December 04, 2012 05:43 AM            

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posted December 04, 2012 05:52 AM            

DL is brilliant in that he speaks 3 languages and English is the one that is his newest one. You would never know that as his English is close to flawless, but I don't know what he meant by this

However, he has a point about your Venus and Mars being locked and also, wanted perfection due to the Virgo. I see fun, creativity and romance as being an outlet for you, as these are very powerful tools. I have a Gemini stellium in the 9th, so understand Gemini. Our tool is fun. I can make a simple activity into a party because I love to make things fun. It takes a certain amount of freedom to not care what people think. You have to let loose and just let yourself flow. You will make mistakes. Really uptight people will not like you, but most people will appreciate you. One of your goals and purposes is to find this part of yourself, as your 5th house has your Gemini Moon and NN.

I have just found my real passion which is creative writing, but in a group, so people can tell me what they think. If I touch someone, I get the greatest high as my passion is self expression( a Gemini trait)

Your SN would be in the 11th house--so you should be comfortable in groups or with wishes and dreams. How do you feel about the 11th house. Are you comfortable doing things in more interpersonal settings, like groups. Are you more far thinking such as interested in far away things, versus more personal kind of intimacies such as romance. You have Saggi in the 11th.

What do you think? xx

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted December 04, 2012 06:05 AM            

I don't know how to dance, and I'm smart enough to realize that drinking won't help anything. It doesn't help me relax, it doesn't make me funny, it doesn't make anyone else more attractive, and it doesn't make me confident -- so much for "liquid courage". I know what alcohol does to the mind, and it scares me. So I don't drink very much.

What is your most fun thing to do if you go have no inhibitions? What is your dream fun activity. I play the guitar and am learning to sing. I love background singing. It makes me high. It is no much fun. I love creative writing for a group of people. It makes me high. I love doing charts. I love giving to people. That s a present all of it's own. Giving love is so rare that it is always interesting and exciting to see what will happen. I like to give an unexpected present or something to lift people up. Small people will not understand, but I don't care. I move on to someone who will.

What really, really turns you on? You said detective work. That may be something. There is something inside you which is dying to get out and will free you. You just have to take the small step to let it out. That is my opinion, anyway! xx

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