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Author Topic:   a never ending cycle
ilunatique
Knowflake

Posts: 242
From: daydreaming on uranus
Registered: Jun 2014

posted September 04, 2014 01:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ilunatique     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
But we're talking about the catalyzer here, huh? The composite is quite cute. This is why I'm here. I'm not going to kill myself, I just feel too much right now. Too. much.


So, yesterday. I crashed in my pillow hyperventilating. I almost suffocated but i didn't care. I cried and cried and cried and cried the whole night. I was breathing thanks to my mouth but the gasps and sobbing made it a lot harder. I am so tired today.

Why?

a message, a powerful connection, a repetitive dream and a never ending cycle which keeps happening.

Thank you Saturn+PSYCHE, for finally stabilizing that Neptune and giving some soul to that beautiful CIRCE+Sun-moon-mercury+CERES conjunction. Two beautiful souls kept alive by mercury - just communication, information. Though, afflicted by LILITH.

A pretty CUPID+NN-PALLAS-VALENTINE, but opposite the so well known spiritually transforming Uranus/SN/oh, KAALI! I missed you. Right in 12th, pisces. Wonderful.

More? CHIRON-NESSUS-SPIRIT+DEJANIRA, the wound, oh the wound, squaring the CIRCE+sun-moon-mercury+CERES poor couple.

Mars-pluto giving a little more intensity to those two, too.

FORTUNA+UNION-KARMA-VERTEX+JUNO... yes yes yes. I know.

+++++

NN sabian, " A POWERFUL STATESMAN OVER-COMES A STATE OF POLITICAL HYSTERIA."

SN sabian, "AN ANCIENT SWORD, USED IN MANY BATTLES, IS DISPLAYED IN A MUSEUM." this. this.

UNION sabian, "A WOMAN FEEDING CHICKENS AND PROTECTING THEM FROM THE HAWKS." )The need to face the antagonism of "powers of darkness" as one attempts to feed the mind of as yet helpless and frightened apprentices.(

SUN sabian, "A BUTTERFLY WITH A THIRD WING ON ITS LEFT SIDE." )The ability to develop, for inner strengthening, new modes of response to basic life situations.(

MERCURY sabian, "THE SIGHT OF AN AUTUMN LEAF BRINGS TO A PILGRIM THE SUDDEN REVELATION OF THE MYSTERY OF LIFE AND DEATH." )The ability to discover in every experience a transcendent or cosmic meaning.(

PLUTO sabian, "A FLAG BEARER IN A BATTLE."

MARS sabian, "AN OLD BRIDGE OVER A BEAUTIFUL STREAM IS STILL IN CONSTANT USE."


Just a rant.
An exhale.
A save.
I'm fine.

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Aubyanne
Moderator

Posts: 215
From: The Multiverse
Registered: Sep 2014

posted September 04, 2014 02:16 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aubyanne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Sounds like tMERC conjunct the SGC yesterday, which is conjunct the 7H of the 'composite' you posted. (I'm presuming this has to do with you and a specific event, rather than a person.)

All I can tell you is this, Luna. You're young. You're smart. You have NO idea what's going on yet, even though you're sure you do.

Start studying Uranian astrology. As it's the transdimensional and abstract school which focusses upon possibility and dimensionality, it may be right up your alley.

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Aubyanne
Moderator

Posts: 215
From: The Multiverse
Registered: Sep 2014

posted September 04, 2014 02:20 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aubyanne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Also, it ends. Trust me. I know what I'm talking about. But YOU have to stop perpetuating it.

Ohhh, yes. YOU have to stop perpetuating it. THEN it can end. I wish you'd not feel so hopeless and helpless; take your power back, rather than relinquish it so freely.

We ALL have rough periods. I've had to come to a VERY difficult realisation, being locked in a karmic pattern of death, murder, rebirth, vengeance and retaliation -- for who KNOWS how long -- which has been central to sorting out here.

But you can't let it control you. Can't let it dominate your every waking thought. You have to learn the lesson, sort what needs sorting, and MOVE ON. Unless the person is ACTIVELY in your life, you have no responsibility to them. Follow YOUR path. Carve YOUR destiny. Don't worry about anything else for now.

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ilunatique
Knowflake

Posts: 242
From: daydreaming on uranus
Registered: Jun 2014

posted September 04, 2014 02:45 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ilunatique     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Aubyanne

I could say an event, associated with that one person which was quite shockingly intense and similar. Brought me back so much. I wanted to die right there. Crawl out of this skin.
Thanks God I didn't do anything stupid again, back then. Thanks God.

I don't know if I could break such a karmic connection. I've practically moved on, but I keep on stumbling in things which bring me back too much emotions regarding this. Movies, books, etc. Haunting.

Perhaps the full moon in Pisces which is gonna be soon will help me somehow. A cotton rope, a prayer, a white candle and a "cutting of the connection ritual". He even keeps astrally appearing to me. So. Much. The door which was opened back in July (sleep paralysis episodes and kundalini energies) helped him somehow get to me. Our helio - 4th dimension has Juno-Union. Could be some sort of astral marriage.
I mean, I even remember HIM astrally projecting me in front of him a few days after we met. Just by thinking of me. He has some powers. He painted what he saw in front of his eyes back then for the rest of the day like a mad man, and he quite saw me how i am.. though in a more evolved state. Scary. Yes.

It's over on so many levels, but the connection will always be there. Ages and ages. Since the egyptian era back when we've been playing magic together, until now.
In October though, this will SURELY be over. I'm giving up on technology and going full Osho mode. Just me, myself, and I.

P.S. I'm Uranus dominant I guess that's why I sense energy so much. I think I'll look into it.
P.S.S. I can't stop worrying about others.. I'm a momma bear. Mother Theresa. I care too much. Feel too much.

Thank. you.


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