Author
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Topic: Actual reports in a Mpumalanga Hospital (South Africa) Register
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LEXX Knowflake Posts: 9745 From: Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat.......& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion! Registered: Apr 2009
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posted March 16, 2009 10:22 PM
Thank you Zala! Actual reports in a Mpumalanga Hospital (South Africa) Register 1. The patient refused autopsy. 2. The patient has no previous history of suicides. 3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital. 4. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with B only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days. 5. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night. 6. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.. 7. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared. 8. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed. 9. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993. 10. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission. 11. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful. 12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch. 13. She is numb from her toes down. 14. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home. 15. The skin was moist and dry. 16. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches. 17. Patient was alert and unresponsive. 18. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid. 19. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce. 20. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy. 21. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation. 22. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized. 23. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function. 24. Skin: somewhat pale but present. 25. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor. 26. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall. 27. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities ------------------ Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain. IP: Logged |
Azalaksh Knowflake Posts: 1008 From: New Brighton, MN, USA Registered: Apr 2009
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posted March 17, 2009 01:28 PM
spunknini should get the credit for this one IP: Logged |
sunshine9 Knowflake Posts: 1087 From: Beehive, MD Registered: Apr 2009
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posted March 17, 2009 02:25 PM
Thanks for the laughs! I've seen this before, but it's always funny!Sunshine IP: Logged |
venusdeindia unregistered
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posted March 21, 2009 04:28 AM
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charmainec Knowflake Posts: 8746 From: Venus next to Randall Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 24, 2014 01:57 AM
WT.. IP: Logged |
Lexxigramer Moderator Posts: 4776 From: The Etheric Realms...Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat...& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion! Registered: Feb 2012
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posted April 24, 2014 03:52 PM
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Randall Webmaster Posts: 62839 From: Saturn next to Charmaine Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 27, 2014 02:39 PM
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Randall Webmaster Posts: 62839 From: Saturn next to Charmaine Registered: Apr 2009
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posted May 12, 2015 02:26 PM
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Lexxigramer Moderator Posts: 4776 From: The Etheric Realms...Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat...& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion! Registered: Feb 2012
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posted May 13, 2015 07:18 AM
Fun bump! Thank you! ------------------ NumeroLexigrams ~I remember, therefore I am immortal ~Lexxigramer Click here to read My Lexigramming Biography/over 1/2 a century to date Lexigramming IP: Logged |
Randall Webmaster Posts: 62839 From: Saturn next to Charmaine Registered: Apr 2009
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posted May 14, 2015 04:24 PM
YWIP: Logged |
Randall Webmaster Posts: 62839 From: Saturn next to Charmaine Registered: Apr 2009
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posted May 15, 2015 01:01 PM
Good stuff! IP: Logged |
Lexxigramer Moderator Posts: 4776 From: The Etheric Realms...Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat...& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion! Registered: Feb 2012
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posted May 15, 2015 08:41 PM
Yeppers! IP: Logged |
Randall Webmaster Posts: 62839 From: Saturn next to Charmaine Registered: Apr 2009
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posted May 16, 2015 08:50 AM
People in the medical profession should especially like it.IP: Logged |
juniperb Moderator Posts: 9282 From: Blue Star Kachina Registered: Apr 2009
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posted May 31, 2015 05:25 PM
18. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid
------------------ Partial truth~the seeds of wisdom~can be found in many places...The seeds of wisdom are contained in all scriptures ever written… especially in art, music, and poetry and, above all, in Nature.
Linda Goodman IP: Logged |
Lexxigramer Moderator Posts: 4776 From: The Etheric Realms...Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat...& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion! Registered: Feb 2012
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posted June 01, 2015 04:29 AM
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Randall Webmaster Posts: 62839 From: Saturn next to Charmaine Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 02, 2015 09:56 AM
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Randall Webmaster Posts: 62839 From: Saturn next to Charmaine Registered: Apr 2009
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posted October 10, 2015 01:15 PM
Funny bone bump!IP: Logged |
Randall Webmaster Posts: 62839 From: Saturn next to Charmaine Registered: Apr 2009
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posted March 05, 2016 03:20 PM
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