posted December 26, 2002 10:16 PM              

Im not sure where im going...I know I can hack the profession im going into (3D modelling/animation..all those fancy film effects and so on)...but i dont know if it will support me financially.

The recession of the '90's hit my family in a bad way, i've grown up without a huge amount of money, and if there's anything im worried about its not being able to provide for my own family, should i get as far as building one.

Im training for this profession, and my mentality lends itself towards it, but im still unhappy about it. Character animation i Cannot stand, im getting pretty awful marks for most of the stuff im handing in and I can no longer focus the way I could last year. I literally cannot get any good work done - at all.

Actually...im unhappy about the whole way our life is structured since I seem to be funamentally opposed to it at almost every level.

Reassurance? oh yes i'm looking for that - as well as a magical answer to all my problems....But then again thats what everyones' searching for these days, even if they won't admit it.

But when you think forward..and all you feel is apprehension and doubt..and your feelings tell you there's not much to look forward to...what do you do?

You've all already given me far more than I can ever hope to return to you, as both individuals and as a community...but maybe this is the crux of what im worried about.

posted December 27, 2002 12:25 AM              

I don't know what to say but (((hugs)))

posted December 27, 2002 01:06 AM              

I am sorry that you are going through such a fearful time right now. I am afraid that I too, and many others feel your sense of apprehension. I have come to very much resent this world and all it's structure and "accepted" ways of doing things. I cannot stand the concept of money. The whole dichotemy between those who are so comfortable (materially speaking) and those who barely have a thing to their names pains me to such an extent that it is difficult to fully express in words. Moreover, it is even more difficult to accept that most people are fairly content to not question this way of living. complain, yes. But question or improve, not really. I would be hard pressed to offer much advice regarding your choice of career. I would say that no matter what you are currently studying now, you may very likely be able to switch interests after you finish formal schooling. This is what I did. Originally I majored in economics and accounting but I now work for a major fashion company doing recruiting (for designers, salespeople, etc). I just started interviewing with companies whose industry I actually had an interest in. The rest is history. It is so easy to feel locked in, as if you must have a "plan" but this is not always so -- despite the way the world seems to work these days. I don't know if I've been of any help but i truly hope your situation improves. you can always find support here

posted December 27, 2002 03:49 AM              

Worry does nothing for you, and it gets you no where

Dude! You are young! Don't even consider that family supporting crap so early man! You seriously need to lighten up. I know you're the serious and skeptical type from your postings, but come on, are you married, do you have kids, are your 35 and in a dead end career?

You are free my man! Go enjoy the company of a new woman, get smashed at the local pub with your homies, enjoy the great things that you won't have in the future.

posted December 27, 2002 12:21 PM              

And WOW Carlo. Really encouraging post. You seem to really have a lot of things figured out. Still though, sometimes the world can get you down and it does help to have a good cry every now and then I read once, in a book called "The Saint, the Surfer, and the CEO", that as we see the world, so we are. In other words, if we see the world and people in it as violent, ill-willed, hopeless, etc., that this is a reflection of our inner selves. If we see the world as a place full of bright possibilities, we can easily create our own destinies and have anything for the taking! The challenge lies in recognizing this world for the illusion that it truly is and that seems to be what N_wEvil is stuggling with presently... And LostLeo, I would not recommend going to the local pubs and getting plastered, though being a Leo rising myself, understand where you are coming from!!!

posted December 27, 2002 01:38 PM              

Im at a loss for words, which is unusual for me.......although maybe my brain is slow from going to bed at 6am this morning!

*really long silence*

I definately gets those bouts of apprehension you talked about, Carlo...I actually had it really bad on my way back to my student house last night, heh.

Im a 17 degree Aqua sun (i think...havent quite worked out which numbers mean what on the astro chart!)

posted December 27, 2002 01:54 PM              

But this guy is an AQUARIAN. He is not your typical guy. How do you know he even drinks? Also, Aquarians are not necessarily into picking up women in order to temporarily solve their probs. That's more Leo's style Gotta run. No offense taken I hope!

posted December 27, 2002 02:19 PM              

Love
Jakie

"Your children are not yours. They are the children and daughters of the desire of Life for herself. They come through you but not for you ,and, although they can have been given, they don't belong to you.
You can give them your love, but no your thoughts. Because they have their own ones.
You can shelter their bodies, but not their souls. Because these, lives in the home of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, nor in dreams.
You can struggle to became like them, but don't try to transform them in what you are.
Because life doesn't walk back nor it is arrested in the past."
Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet

ps Don't pay attention in the grammar mistakes, I am still under effect of the medicines.

posted December 27, 2002 02:37 PM              

I am sending you a big warm hug, a few even!
Carlo's post was something wonderful!
And drinking does not solve anything. Only makes matters worse or will spoil something (the more drinks the bigger the 'thing'). At least it will poison your body and why don't we make ourselves feel better with 'good' and healthy stuff? We do not want to punish ourselves even more, now do we? If we love ourselves only the best is good enough. I am not only saying these words on a public forum but also to myself (I've been doing something similar just recently but it was funny afterwards). Does it not make more sense to surround ourselves with beauty instead of things that will only bring us more down when we are in a down period?
Only my thoughts and feelings!

posted December 27, 2002 03:07 PM              

quote:

---

1) He's from the UK = he drinks

---

Normally instead of crying I prefer to go and sing(scream?) something. Its alot easier when you're home alone though...when there are people in the house you cant sing as loud.

Jackie, hope you get well soon I went down with a bit of a cold just in time for christmas

posted December 27, 2002 03:08 PM              

Gotta love your tenacity!!! You go! I know that you meant well. And that's all that matters. But let's face it, all are not naturally endowed with the good positive vibes that your natal sun brings forth! It's easy for Leos to be optimistic Anyway, no offense taken. I admire your vitality!!!

posted December 27, 2002 07:14 PM              

Feel better Jakie..

posted December 27, 2002 09:25 PM              

I'm fine

I agree with Mercy, Carlo's post was something wonderful !

Love to all

posted December 28, 2002 12:55 AM              

I am going out for a drink now