posted December 29, 2002 07:05 PM              

This time Saturn hit me, it hit me pretty hard! Mars opposites my Saturn, Saturn Squares my Pluto, Pluto quincunx my Saturn and Jupiter Squares my Saturn (although that one isn't really bad or so they describe in the book).
I am feeling very low and depressed. I know though this is an opportunity to sort things out about myself but you know what? I am tired! Feel like saying:" screw it all!" It hurts so bad, my heart aches. But hey, I have been there before, should know how to cope shouldn't I? Is this not only done by oneself?
Right, I am not sure of where I want to go now, or better yet where I should go! I have believed stuff before, was so convinced, so sure about it. But it all turned out to be a lie. Maybe I am a big fat liar myself, like I don't know how to come to the truth, I am just saying and thinking what comes up in my mind. Those things I have been thinking about you know (and my thoughts won't stop I want to shoot them out). It could be so, I don't know who or what I am anymore.
Sorry for throwing this on you, don't take it too hard. Usually Mercy is up and about the next day. Simply because I cannot stay in a depression for long. I need to get meself out of it.

About the Saturn/Neptune opposition. I would really like to know because you know I told you about the guy I met (the same one as in the other posts), he has the opposition now. We both (although him more) have some heavy aspects (transits) going on including Saturn (why would he miss his chance by hitting?) and our relationship feels very important to me although we cannot really speak of a relationship yet.
The guy I met...boy are we loaded. It feels like Karma big time (also looks like it when you see our charts) but I don't know what to believe anymore. He is the big instigator or maybe I should better say the situation between us triggered it. It all hit at the same time, Saturn as well. I feel so stupid sometimes.
Feels like something is pushing on me, holding me down. I feel ill as well. Haven't had a real good sleep in a week, drank half a bottle of Jagermeister on Xmas, cried, let my parents come and put me into bed, puked, fell down and bruised myself, don't remember anything about those things, guy came over for the first time a few hours later (much too late, stupid ass, he was the reason I cried), everything was fine, so familiar but fierce and intense(seemingly/illusion???), didn't sleep nor did I eat until the next day at 15:30, lost 2 kilo's etc... Everything about us is so compulsive. Feels I am loosing it. I should know better. Could well be that finally I am feeling the Neptune conjunction influence on my Moon. I refuse to *SEE* the reality!!!! Snap out of it! But...the boy and I are not ready yet. Hahaha, I mean really! Don't ask me why. Wish I could tell you the whole story. Hey but the plan a few weeks back was to meet up with him innocently, nothing like this! I wanted it to be *free* and jolly.

But I know the sun will shine soon enough too and solutions will be found! Anyways, the situation is too complicated, I don't understand it anymore! I just want to sleep for a long long while!

Why am I always so extremely happy and extremely down the next!??? I am sick of it! Why can't I be normal and not always in love with someone? It hurts!

See...a little down
I was wondering about what you said that this aspect is making the one experiencing it very selfish and being so to the ones they love etc. Well BOY (girl )....I wish I could tell or explain more but I really can't. It is very intense stuff I can tell you that. He also has the Mercury Square Neptune in his natal. Really his third answer is the correct one but one has to ask and ask and pull out the truth first! Fortunately I knew this and told him as well! Haha. Maybe it made him aware of it now!

posted December 29, 2002 11:58 PM              

I know this isn't addressed to me, but I had to post and say I'm glad you didn't leave Lindaland...I think there is something in the atmosphere lately, for this has been the most depressing holiday season for me yet...and men...oh...well...depression central.

*hugs Mercury again*

posted December 30, 2002 12:03 AM              

I'm being told rough patches are just that-patches. They will pass. It just stinks when we're in them. But at least you're aware of what's going on and that should help you in this tough time. Also, your disposition (at least from what I've seen here) is not one that will succumb to dark times. Let your Aquarian moon to step back and take a deep breath.

Warm hugs to you!

posted December 30, 2002 12:04 AM              

Saturn is transiting (by trine) your Jupiter. All Saturn transits are bad acording to the Magi Society, and this is one of the worst even though this is not a Turbulent Angle. Most people get confused during this transit. As a result, they become unsure about what is right and wrong and can make some very bad mistakes. It is best to not take important steps now because Saturn clouds your judgement and misleads you. If you do anything of significance now, you are most likely going to regret it. In your love life, do not break off relationships, and do not enter into new ones now.

Neptune is making a Turbulent Angle (opposition) to your Venus. Only transits by Pluto last longer than this one. In this cycle, Neptune will usually hit your Venus five times before it passes. This almost always will take a toll on your love life. Affairs under this cycle could be preposterously expensive to you, both emotionally and financially.

Mars is opposing your Saturn, this heightens antagonisms that have been brewing in the past and you see the worst side of everything. At this time, you might feel impelled to bring your grievances in your love life out in the open. This would be a very bad idea now. Please wait and reassess after this cycle passes. It is exact today, and will pass by 01/05.

Turbulent transit by Saturn. It is squaring your Pluto. this will obviously create stress on your love life. This transit will test any love relationship but usually does not break them because neither Chiron nor Neptune are involved in this transit. (Love unions are ruled by Chiron and Neptune.) This transit is most likely to place stress on you financially. This stress usually spills over into your love life. During this transit, if you feel an urge to do something that could have a direct influence on your financial base, DO NOT DO IT. Wait until after this transit is over even if you think you must do it right away.

Most people find this a very tough transit and one reason people get into so much trouble during this Turbulent Transit is that they make crucial mistakes during this time, so the best course of action is to make no drastic changes. Another reason they have problems is that for some reason, this transit pushes them into having less faith in themselves, those who love them and in their Spiritual beliefs. If you do not let this happen, you can get through this transit without major problems arising.

On Feb 3, 2003 you will be having Chiron contra-parallel your Pluto.
This is a CINDERELLA TRANSIT. The longest lasting of all Cinderella Transits, this is a fabulous transit that can last several years and almost always leaves its mark on your life. Almost everything you do now, you do at your best and people look at you in the most favorable light. You must take advantage of this transit to help you fulfill your dreams. This is the time to be determined and aggressive and reach for the stars, and reach for your soulmate. During this transit, you can seal your relationship with your loved one and get married or dramatically improve your marriage. If you are still looking, this transit could bring you the person you are looking for. But you will usually meet more than one prospect during this transit. Check all of the astrological factors and also see what your heart has to say. If both your heart and the stars agree on someone, then it is usually okay to proceed to a love union if you met the person during this cycle. You should also bear in mind that this may not be your last Cinderella Transit and you might have to wait to meet your soulmate during another one.

Now, about your combined chart with him, his Uranus is contra-parallel your Venus. This is a FLUCTUATING RELATIONSHIP. This is a Uranus Linkage. Because Uranus is non-committal and does not believe in long-term relationships, this linkage often reduces the chances of long-term love and marriage. Unless a couple has very strong Chiron Linkages, this linkage generally decreases the probability of a lifelong marriage and increases the likelihood that one or both partners will have affairs. For this reason, this is a great linkage to have with someone if you are looking for just a fling. The normal attributes of this linkage fulfill perfectly the requirements of a casual affair: sexual attraction, no emotional ties, no commitments, and the affair naturally fades away with no complications.

But, his Venus is parallel your Chiron. This is three types of Linkages-
ROMANCE LINKAGE. CINDERELLA LINKAGE. MAGICAL LINKAGE. In terms of romantic attraction, this is the most powerful linkage that you can have with anyone. This linkage occurs more often in married couples than any other linkage. This linkage is also a sign that the two of you can be very helpful to each other, sometimes without even trying because being able to help each other is in the stars. That's why this linkage is MAGIcal. This is the linkage that COMBINES DESTINIES and it almost has a mystical power and seems to aid the linked persons in anything that they do together so long as they are in love.

His Mars is parallel your Chiron. This is both a Sexual Linkage and a Romance Linkage. The overall attraction that this linkage creates is actually stronger than any Sexual Linkage because this linkage creates romantic attachment that the other Sexual Linkages do not.

So, take heart, this is a passing funk you are in and it will get better. Also, remember, only you and you alone are responsible for your happiness. No other person can do that. Yeah, I know, we always think that a perfect love match will complete us, but until we are complete and happy with ourselves, and can find joy in all things, well that just makes it all the better when love finally comes.

Hugs to you!!

posted December 30, 2002 02:24 AM              

Gods, I'm so mad at my mother. Okay, she's 102 years old. And the other day she calls me up and says she wants to borrow ten dollars for some food. I said, "Hey, I work for a living!" So, I loan her the money, I have one of my secretaries bring it over. Then the other day she calls me up and says that she can't pay me back for a while. I mean what is this bullsh*t? So I worked it out with her, I'm gonna have her work on my transmission. And if she can't fix that, I'm gonna have her move my barbells up to the attic, the whole set.

posted December 30, 2002 04:23 AM              

Thank you all so much! It is heartwarming!

I am not going to rewrite everything now but Donna you went out of your way! I send you a hug too!
Just wanted to say as well that I am amazed of how much I want this guy, if I have to move heaven and earth...I will. It feels so familiar and I can totally be myself with him and we don’t even know each other but we do, know what I mean? There was only one man in my life I could truly be myself with so this is kind of special. But temporary obstacles are in the way.
In feb. 2003 Uranus will also Trine my Sun so I suspect it will be a wonderful time...again as I am really a fortunate person.
I'll lay low for a while and keep the faith. I see it all as *a help* but the difference with other tough periods in my life is that I simply do not *see* anything now. Will get better I know.
Well, I guess I will come back later, as this reply sucks compared to the first one I wrote. I am going out and buy myself some shoes and other stuff even though I still feel ill(ish) and then when I return I try again and post some more!

posted December 30, 2002 11:23 AM              

Donna, how do you calculate your apsects, orb wise? You were talking about Chiron on the third of Feb. 2003 and my Pluto. But my Pluto is 24 degrees and Chiron will be 14 degrees at that time? And are you (sort of) saying that at that time it is good to start with a new relationship and not now? Even if Saturn will still have it's influence? Just want to have a clear picture. Hey...it is only 4 weeks from NOW!!!!
See I have so lost it that I need guidance.
Gosh I am a bit annoyed asking so many questions again.
I will return but have to lay down now....

posted December 30, 2002 12:22 PM              

I use the Magi Society's rules for orbs, by the way, which is 3 degrees orb for all aspects and 1.2 degree orb for all declinations.

This link will take you to The Magi Society's lesson on having two charts and why the Declination Chart is important.
http://www.magiastrology.com/lesson4.html

Now, as far as the Saturn/Jupiter transit, Saturn is Rx now and it will be coming back around May to repeat that trine to your Jupiter. It started in August, again Dec 11 and will be back in May.

Ah Carlo, if we had all the answers there would be no need to incarnate on this Earth Plane. If I had all the answers, well, I wouldn't be here, for sure. But, I want to know everything, too, I just don't, but I keep trying.

posted December 30, 2002 01:57 PM              

But I am sorry, my question. When you say that during the Jup/Sat thing people get cloudy and you said better not enter a new relationship in this time. Well then this will last until the end of May. And a lot of good stuff is happening as well during that time. Isn't it so that this lightens it up and entering a relationship is not so bad then? I am really interested in your opinion on this! Please?

and hugs to you too Alena!
Oh and Bernadette, how come you called me Mercury? That is an old name I used on another board. Are you pshychic? Or have I told this already and I have a real good memory ?

posted December 31, 2002 11:19 AM              

OK, well, first of all, always remember this standard quote---The Stars impel, they do not compel .

Regarding bad aspects versus good aspects, well, they do not cancel each other out. So, in that respect, we just need to work on overcoming them during those times. How? Well, I feel with a positive attitude and keeping negative thoughts out of our minds helps a great deal.

Also, The Magi Society teaches that anything over a 3 degree orb has very little influence and during those times I gave the aspect is exact and they will be at their strongest. Since Saturn is Rx, it has been moving away, but when it goes direct, it will move back to the original position and will make the same aspect again. Only this time, having gone through it, you should be a little better prepared for it's influence and not let it get to you by understanding it and knowing it is a passing thing. So, since Dec. 11, it is moving away from the exactness of the aspect and will not return to the exactness until May. It will give you a "breather" until May, so that when it returns, you will have a better chance to cope with it this time around.

Hope this helps a bit.

posted December 31, 2002 07:20 PM              

A prosperous and magic new year to you too Donna !