posted November 15, 2003 03:13 AM
WOW! This month is full of astrological turmoil for us all! The eclipses are at it again; bringing strife, drama, rapid change, and just when we were comfortable with how miserable our lives were! Get ready for new misery folks!Aries: Saturn squaring your sun is sure to be locked in by the eclipses on the 8th and the 23rd. Get ready to feel the burn of saturn on your back! Saturn will ask you to shape up or ship out. Continue in your typical loner, selfish fasion, and the wrath of saturn will no doubt be brought upon you!
Taurus: If you weren't so stubborn and resistant to change, you might realize that life is really good right now! You're being given an opportunity to change and go in a whole new direction! Fate is opening the door for you, but you're too stubborn and obnoxious to see it, aren't you taurus?
Gemini: Your usual blabber is as out of control as ever with mercury spinning in full motion. This month, make two changes: shut the hell for five seconds, and try to actually follow through with a project! Venus opposing your sun may make some conflict with you lover, so shut up and listen, ******* ! Mercury will go retro next month, so get some **** done now damnit!
Cancer: Wow. Could you be more of a downer lately? With saturn in your sign, you've been dreary, depressing, tiring, the whole damn thing! Lighten up you crabby clam! You do have a nicely angled eclipse on nov 8, so use it to stop being such a drag. Open up to someone! Express your feelings! Go out and do something, have fun for funs sake!
Leo: Venus moves to trine your sun this month, while the sun squares you. You will be a bit irritable, but charming as well. The eclipse this month may bring a new lover to you, so don't ruin it by being your usual brash and rude self. Show some empathy and consider someone elses feelings, you'd be surprised how far it goes!
Virgo: Oh virgo, when will you learn! You have such good astrology right now. The sun sextiles you, and jupiter bounces playfully through your sign. But you're probably too worried about what someone thinks about you, or about the cleanliness of your kitchen to notice! Take your head out of the microscope and smell the flowers! Jupiter will expand your narrow mind if you only allow it to!
Libra: Get off your bum libra. Your ass has probably been expanding due to your laziness! Use this eclipse to vitalize your social life! Saturn squares you but so what...we're all tired and all of our lives suck, so get over it! Answers will come around nov 23rd, but you'll probably never make a decision once you get the answers anyway.
Scorpio: If people bother you so much, why dont' you just kill them? Or yourself. The eclipse on nov 8 gives you that umph you need to transform. Move up out of scorpion and into snake. Or move out of snake into eagle! Get your ass out of the gutter. Stop drinking, stop doing drugs, and go exercise. Stop being delusional about your life, retard.
Sagitarrius: The eclipse on the 23rd will be powerful. But you will probably be out selling your body, or just being slutty in general. Venus will be in your sign, increasing your sensuality and lust. Don't push so hard saggitarius! Think before you speak! And look before you leap! You've learned these lessons in the past 3 years, now put them into action, dipshit. And keep your commentary to yourself, no one cares.
Capricorn: Your life is worse than ever as saturn moves into a harsh opposition to your sun. Yes you're worthless. Yes you're life is hard. Get over it! No ones likes your cynical nature, and your gloomy attitude! An eclipse in your 12th house will probably give you some crazy dreams, which will mostly be worthless. On the plus side, you'll have more work than usual, which you always enjoy....cause you get to complain more!
Aquarius: Your weirdness increases as the days go by. People probably wonder if you're even human. Your ruler, YOUR ANUS, has been shifting back and forth between yoru sign and pisces, probably making you somewhat insane. Use the eclipse to follow through with commitments, and increase your love for those you hold close. Personal connections are important you detached weirdo!
Pisces: WAAAAAH!!! Cry me a river pisces. Yes life sucks. Mars in your sign is probably burning you out. DOnt' worry it will move on soon. The eclipse may bring some shocking changes in your relationships...but thats life! Pick yourself up, dust yoursel off, and embrace reality. Escaping into illusion everytime the going gets tough only makes things harder! You're my favorite sign, so my best to you! But seriously, seriously, get a grip on reality.
Lindaland
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posted November 15, 2003 03:13 AM
Aquarius, you detached wierdo! I found that rather humorous indeed.(?!) Not sure why.
