posted December 11, 2003 02:48 PM
This time of year was always reminds of her and how she would scurry around the kitchen making fudge, divinity and other items for people she loved, neighbors and the Church. Now, this time of year also reminds me of having to say goodbye to the woman who was like a mother to me.
When I read about the constant bashing of Leo's, I didn't just think of how I was involved with one, I was thinking of how one Leo woman changed my life and made me a better person.
My grandmother was a Leo's Leo and even married another Leo...about 5 times...before the judge told them he would grant the last divorce, but they better not marry in the state of Kansas again!!! LOL..So, she picked up her kids and left town for Sunny Southern California. (By that time her ex-Leo had found another to try to make her jealous, but she had enough).
My grandmother had two sons, A Gemini and a Sag and one daughter - the middle child - a Double Cancer. My grandma stayed with us mostly because my mom relied on her. My grandma seemed to understand me, when my only mother didn't know how to address my curiousity, my independence or even my hurts. My mother was great, but she was only 21 when she had me and I think that made her resent being stuck at home. My Aries Moon and my brothers Scorpion Moon can attest for some of the resentment. I think she also spent alot of time worrying about my police officer dad and his wondering eyes.
At any rate, it was my grandma that came into the picture to really play mom to my brother and I. When my parents got divorced, it was my Leo grannies strength that helped keep us strong and she was there when my mother was crushed and heartbroken.
My grandmother would not bat an eye at giving us anything she had. She would wait patiently for us to come home from school and ask us how our day went, would run around and make something to eat. You know, like what a mom would do. My mother was always working, so it was nice to have someone there to talk to.
I could cry to her and she would listen. She would never judge or lecture. She would hold my head in her hands and say "Well, Sugar, you are a tough cookie like me, you can handle this". She was the peacemaker when my mom and I fought, which was almost daily.
As I got older, I spent more and more time with her. I would send her cards and letters from college. I would come home for breaks and she and I would go grocery shopping. She loved to go through every eisle and just talk. We would have our own little lunches at the Sizzler (she loved that place LOL).
I moved back to So Cal after school just to be near her. I knew that she was lonely with my brother away at school and mom was still working 12-15 hours a day. So, she and I would spend time like the old days. When I moved out East it was hard, but we talked a few times a week and I visted a few times a year. Then she got sick.
The hardest thing in the world that I ever had to deal with was losing my grandmother. Nothing in my life prepared me for having to feel so much hurt. I was so lucky that when she was diagnosed with cancer in Jan of 2001, that she held on and wasn't in alot of pain (until the very end) until December 27th.
I got to visit her 6 or 7 times before she died. The last time was so hard, but she handled it in her usual sunny Leo way. Her wink and shrug. She smiled and said the Lord was just getting her room ready. I said "Well, grandma - maybe he is really just trying to find someone that is willing to room with you" LOL..we laughed, because we were both onery. 
I told her I was jealous because she would be going to heaven before me and that she should save a place for me someday.
Towards the end she was losing her ability to be lucid or to remember who we were. I couldn't be there when she died at home, with my mom and uncle. I called her on Christmas and my uncle said she was not very coherent - she didn't even know who he was. He gave her the phone and I said "Hi grandma it's me...do you know me?" She said "Oh Sugar of course I know you, I've been waiting for you. How are you?". See, here she is, amazing yet frail woman, dying and she is concerned with me. That is so Leo.
I said "I'm sad. I love you so much and grandma, I am going to miss you so much". "She laughed and said "Sugar, I will miss you too and you know I will always love you".
When I asked her what I would do without her, she told me to go have a beer. LOL....it's was a joke with us, because we both liked beer and my mom never really did.
So, when I think of Leo's I think of her. I still miss her more than anything in the world. I know she is in a better place. But above all, I had the pleasure of being touched by one of the most beautiful people in the world. A Leo who made a difference in the life of this Sag and to all those that she knew.
Lindaland
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posted December 11, 2003 02:48 PM
That story made me cry, Pid. *sniff sniff, but in a touching way, not really sad... 
posted December 11, 2003 04:03 PM