posted January 23, 2004 12:21 PM            

So, it seems that you and I have had similar experiences with our ex Virgos. I have a question. Did you ever feel that his career was the most important thing in his life? When things got rough, did he ever get so depressed that he would try to drag you down with him, or even threaten suicide?

I am asking because that was a pattern with my ex. Not only was he not intimate at all, but he sacrificed everything for his job. He wouldn't take vacations unless I did all the arrangements, he would work 15 hour days and would be just too tired to deal with me. We already talked about how he would sit and wait for dinner, even if he got home early.LOL..

But the other thing he would do to me, that would make me come apart, was threaten to kill himself. He would do it when he thought I would leave (but finally I realized he never would do that over a woman, because we don't mean that much in his life)but regarding his career, well that is another story.

He has been having a horrid time at work with a new Colonel that HATES civilians as well as white people - he also has little man's syndrome. My ex, is a civilian, white and 6 foot 2, so he is automatically on the crap list. Well, the harrassment has gotten worse and last night me ex told me he wanted to blow his brains out. GOD, it just sent me into a panic. I have to see him this evening to drop off my cats while I go away, I am so afraid that he will do something stupid.

posted January 23, 2004 12:59 PM            

He is in charge of several units, but refuses to delegate or write people up that do not perform or that neglect their duties.

He keeps trying to win them over, but he doesn't realize that he is the big cheese and regardless of how smart, funny or friendly he is, some people just hate AUTHORITY. LOL...I told him he's not there to make best friends and that this administration will only last a year or two before a new chief of police is appointed and new colonels take over.

He does know what it does to me when he threatens to kill himself. My mom used to do that when things didn't go her way or when she was in one of her emotional tirades. Today I am a total wreck, I couldn't sleep, my head is ringing and I feel like I could cry. Some of it is guilt, like maybe me leaving and divorcing him is adding to his depression.

The weird thing is that even my ex friend the Virgo with the Cancer moon used to threaten suicide. What is wrong with these people and how they tend to find me LOL

posted January 23, 2004 01:50 PM            

But, it comes down to this - you can't teach an old dog new tricks. He is already set in his ways and at 50 years of age, I don't see him changing (yeah, he was 16 years older than me. LOL) I think the age difference also prevents him from wanting to take advice from me.

Your poor father. That had to be so traumatic for him. I think that Virgo are such perfectionists that when they feel they cannot live up to expectations, they get depressed. If they only knew how the rest of us see them, as being so brilliant and pretty near perfect, then maybe they would understand. I tried to tell that to my ex, but he wouldn't listen. Oh well, maybe tonight he will be better.

posted January 23, 2004 10:17 PM            

Just wanted to let you know, before I take off for a business trip, that everything went fine. It was as though he never had a problem. So wierd.

posted February 04, 2004 04:58 PM              

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The boy rode on the donkey and the old man walked. As they went along, some people remarked, "It is a shame the old man is walking and the boy was riding." The man and boy thought maybe the critics were right, so they changed positions.

Later, they passed some people that remarked, "What a shame, he makes
that little boy walk, " So they decided they both would walk!

Soon they passed some more people who thought they were stupid to walk
when they had a decent donkey to ride. So the both rode the donkey!

Now they passed some people that shamed them saying how awful it was to put such a load on a poor donkey. The boy and man figured they were probably right, so they decided to carry the donkey.

posted February 04, 2004 05:23 PM            

I love that one. I am going to send it to him because it's so true. Ironically, I had a talk with him last weekend and he is getting his management "balls" so to speak. LOL. He decided to get into gear and realized that he wasn't in management to be everyone's buddy.

On another note, he gave me back some of the stuff he was holding for me in the safe and said it was no longer proper for us to have each other's house keys. I was hoping that meant he found someone, but really he was depressed and I think wants to start the process of ending our friendship.