posted January 29, 2004 11:06 AM              

She is very stressed right now over money, and over committing her time to 2 Sags, and one Aqua. Both Sags have cost her a lot of money lately and she just got back from babysitting for one Sag for 3 weeks for no pay. Now she has no savings and she was too embarassed to ask for any money. Now she has borrowed money from me causing me a lot of stress.

Last week part of my hair turned even more white than usual over this. She is in crisis mode and that is usually how she deals with life.

Her Uranus is in Cancer, not a great position, and that is opposite her Mars and square her Jupiter and Neptune. Her place of residence changes constantly due to her work and she is very stressed about that and her health worsens.

My own health since I have been involved with her again has gone from bad to worse, I had a pre-cancerous condition 7 years ago which came back in May and I took experiemental drugs and herbs and I have been fine. I moved into a new place and I have doing well since my separation from the Libra. My ex the Libra had problems taking care of himself since he cannot walk or exercise-he is an emotional eater and his back and knees are constantly going out.

I thought I had escaped from everything and my life was back on track until this week. It makes me very stressed to realize how little I have gained and even though my new house is okay, I feel very stressed over money and funds that are overcommitted to others, who overcommit to others, who are basically selfish.

The Sag who went on vacation has had two botox and laser surgeries and has two volvos. Sure she has two children, but she also has a husband and in laws that contribute. I do not have a closet full of clothes or a new car (same car for 12 years) but I feel that my interests are being ignored.

I have called the Sag to complain and vent but she is not answering the phone. She says it stresses her out too much to talk to me. But what am to do? The other Sag is having a nervous breakdown and the Aqua is her adopted son. Yes she adopted a son at the worst possible time in her life and now she doesn't have the money to feed him, school him, or take care of him and he is stressed too.

His mother had abandoned him, and my heart goes out but it causes me even more stress. I am tired of feeling like social services.

Even more stressful is that I do counsel others, who are in domestic abuse situations so I have to be calm, and I am drawing and I need to be calm there too. I don't know how to go forward with the Scorpio anymore, since she wants to stay with me for a time until she is back on her feet. The problem is she never is.

I think she ought to go live with the Sag, but the Sag has nothing but an heated basement and she tried living there and got very sick. I am insisting that the Sag fix up the basement for her and heat it what do you think, who ought to do what?

The Scorpio cannot find full time work in her profession out here, so I have suggested working anywhere but she is too old to be hired at most jobs she says, she is 53.

Ideas??? I am tired of doing so much mental work. It's not just the money it's the stress of being in crisis mode. On top of this the Scorpio's car broke down and I paid for the repairs but this has caused me to feel she does not respect me at all and it makes me angry which is a toxic emotion.

She swears this is not true and she has paid me back before, but I am always stressed for a while. I do not want to get sick again but how?

posted January 29, 2004 11:56 AM              

You my dear, have been one of the most helpful people I've met here. It's strange when someone who is obviously so intelligent and generous gets more grief. I'm sure you know what I mean...

So please listen...

Cut your losses. I think you are trying to micro-magage everyone's life, when you should be MACRO-managing YOURS.

Remember: "You can bring a horse to water but you can't make him drink"

Remember: "Give a man a fish to eat, he'll be satisfied for a day. Teach him how to fish and..." except this time, don't try to teach them how to fish. Teach them how you need to be treated.

Remember: If you tell someone not to treat you a certain way and they keep doing it, THEY ARE TRYING TO CONTROL YOU.

Like right now, today... tell everyone who is out for something from you that you have a very private circumstance in your life that you need to attend to, and that you will not be available for 2 weeks. Don't explain.

Watch how quickly everyone finds alternative solutions!

Take that time, and ask for more if you need it until everyone finds alternative solutions. During this time, re-familiarize yourself with what is good and valuable about YOU. Make sure you begin to learn how to set boundaries so you DON'T MAKE THE SAME MISTAKES AGAIN.

Start a new chapter in your life TODAY.

The more you begin to value the new things you discover about yourself, the more you will expect others to take it or leave it.

It's only fair!

with love & support,

.gloria

posted January 29, 2004 12:29 PM              

Do we have planets in common regarding this?

I started the weeding out process about a year ago. You will make a NEW set of friends and acquaintances, based on a more fair assessment of yourself and your worth.

You will begin to surround yourself with people you can trust and who provide you the feedback and support you've taught them you deserve.

Most of all, you will begin to trust yourself more. Once you've grounded yourself in this new chapter, you can begin to help others, but with the confidence that you'll know exactly how far to let them under your skin...

I'm going through this too...

Something else I've been meditating on for the last couple of weeks:

Learn how to RECEIVE from others. Think of the joy and contentment it brings them to be able to do something for you.

(As you already know, I've had a really hard time with this, but it's starting to take root!!)

with love & support,

.gloria

posted January 29, 2004 12:38 PM              

Most likely you have Mercury in Scorpio and so think in a similar way to me. My Mercury is in Gemini/7th house and 7th house and Scorpio energy is similar. Other oriented.

My rulers are Virgo, Sag, Mars-Aries, and right now I am being affected by Neptune which is already in the 12th. The water energy is making me feel lost, by Feb the transits are better.

posted January 29, 2004 12:50 PM              

*hugs*

I don't have any plug and play solutions. I am very sorry. There are a lot of complex emotions going on between all of you.

posted January 29, 2004 01:21 PM              

Also Moon in Cancer (mine's in 3rd)

and Pluto in Virgo (mine's in 4th)

Oh well, at least we have each other....

.gloria

posted January 30, 2004 04:24 PM              

Now I feel better,