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Author
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Topic: Apologies to All
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aquaspryt69
unregistered
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posted February 20, 2004 02:57 PM
 
I ran a copy of this and took it to my session. Apparently, I take things too personally and blew up in self-defense.
*Choke* Swallow pride--deep breath...i apologize to all who come here. even my sag man shook his head and told me (again, for the millionth time) I take things too much to heart and need to learn to let things slide off my back. someday i WILL figure out how to do this.
also, i was told to go back to my original site where the people there don't judge, yell, or threaten. I do believe i will follow this advice.
Buh Bye! IP: Logged |
Ariesrocks!
unregistered
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posted February 20, 2004 03:06 PM
dear jesus...IP: Logged |
pidaua
Knowflake Posts: 67
From: Back in AZ with Bear the Leo
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 20, 2004 03:58 PM
Maybe you should apply that to your physically abusive Sag - that has told you not to take things to heart. Tell me, is that what he says when he hits you as well? I gave you a chance and I believed you seriously wanted help and honesty. Instead you wanted to just play on people's good nature and sympathy. You're nuts. IP: Logged |
juniperb
Moderator Posts: 856
From: Blue Star Kachina
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 20, 2004 04:11 PM
Aquaspryt69, blessings on your journey. 
Please do remember, where ever you go or what you do, you will take yours-elf with you. The people may be different but you will be the same if you don`t try and use the Divine attributes you hold in your being. juniperb  ------------------
If having a soul means being able to feel love and loyalty and gratitude, then animals are better off than a lot of humans. ~James Herriot IP: Logged |
pixelpixie
Newflake Posts: 8
From: ON Canada
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 20, 2004 08:47 PM
wow..
You are meant to see/feel things deeply.
It is what you do with that depth that counts. You can choose to be abused over and over because you can take it, and 'understand' the origins of the abuse, but bottom line is that depth isn't an excuse to take things, just because you can. Channel that into non-biting, self love and humanitarian pursuits. Don't martyr yourself, heal. When things slide off your back, nothing comes of them.. some things must stick to induce positive change.
Juni~ you rock... that was a great thing to say. So true.. for everyone *sigh*
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astro junkie
unregistered
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posted February 20, 2004 11:30 PM
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juniperb
Moderator Posts: 856
From: Blue Star Kachina
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 21, 2004 10:32 AM
.gloria, I guess I`m a Dork  because I don`t get your little sign  I love the purple tho  juniperb ------------------
If having a soul means being able to feel love and loyalty and gratitude, then animals are better off than a lot of humans. ~James Herriot IP: Logged |
aquaspryt69
unregistered
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posted February 21, 2004 11:31 AM
Hey Pixel--Thank you so much! That is the kind of response that made me want to join this forum in the first place. Not the judging and biting remarks of those who are "older and all knowing". Peace and Light to you! 
 isces: IP: Logged |
pidaua
Knowflake Posts: 67
From: Back in AZ with Bear the Leo
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 21, 2004 12:50 PM
Judging and all knowing? Aqua - People here are trying to HELP you. The thing is, you are dealing with very strong women that HAVE dealt with such issues in the past. I would venture to say that there are more than half of the women that have dealt with an abusive situation, on this forum, and can give you insight and information. BUT, what you will find that the women are strong and will not coddle you. YOU ARE IN A PHYSICALLY ABUSIVE relationship right? The man you love is HITTING you. What is it you want to hear? Just love and support? You want affirmation for you staying into that kind of relationship? The women here that have been in either sexually, mentally, emotionally or physically abusive relationships got out of those situations. That is what makes them strong, that is why they are trying to help you. You don't want that. Instead you want validation. It has all been agreed that counseling is great - you both need to do through it - what you do from there is what is important. Let me ask you this: what if he hits you again? What is your threshold for abuse? What about if you have children in the future? This is a beautiful forum if you want to learn and if you want the TRUTH. IP: Logged |
astro junkie
unregistered
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posted February 21, 2004 01:25 PM
   yo pimp dady ain't got nuttin on me
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aquaspryt69
unregistered
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posted February 21, 2004 11:09 PM
Sorry, can't have kids...hysterectomy last January. I'm already packing and moving in with a friend in Phoenix on Tuesday. Since he is at the men's shelter I don't have to worry about what he will do when I try to leave.
I honestly don't want to be coddled, but re-reading my messages I realize I sound quite pathetic and that I was seriously depressed because I realize it's actually over, there's nothing I can do to get him to change his ways even after all this time together. Knew it, just too stubborn to want to face reality.
I asked about Saturn opposing Venus for insight into NOT choosing these types of mates again. What is it I'm doing that attracts this type of man? Friends of mine can't believe I have put up with this at all! Let alone, for as long as I have!
I'm not sure of any other aspects in my chart that would have to do with relationships.
I can't tell you how relieved my mom is about this, but I'm sure you can imagine! IP: Logged |
astro junkie
unregistered
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posted February 22, 2004 12:25 AM
Aqua -Remember I told you that there was a pattern engraved in stone? A UNIVERSAL pattern... I know, I know... we like to think, "not me, I'm different". I've never lost faith in you. If you are going to be true to what you've said! But the phase you just went through is projecting your mistrust, hatred and rage towards the girlfriends on the side-lines who sometimes become the "new enemy"... Don't put so much pressure on yourself, and most of all, DON'T try to change anyone. Just remember to give yourself time, and DON'T react when you have any compulsions for now. Just be calm, loving to yourself. Take things slowly, breathe... Remove all sentimental memories and reasoning. The mind will play tricks on you for a while, but it will pass and you'll understand... I've been in more than one abusive relationship, so be easy on yourself if you keep attracting the same types... sometimes a guy will be very good for years and then starts abusing. You never really know. Assume it may take years to understand what's going on. Therapy by a Ph.D psychologist helps a whole lot. Will give you tools to make progress. THE RULE IS YOU ARE LIKE BUTTER and no one has the power or authority or permission to treat you bad. You'll be losing a lot of friendships, but you'll eventually fill the void with HEALTHIER relationships. Keep learning astrology to help you figure out what's going on. It's helped me a lot. Love... BIG BIG HUGS and much love to you... Keep in touch with us, your virtual angels...  .gloria
and the knowflakes 
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it's better to light a candle than curse the darkness...
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aquaspryt69
unregistered
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posted February 22, 2004 09:01 AM
Ok, Gloria, I'm just not getting what you mean about being butter.
Eh??IP: Logged |
Ariesrocks!
unregistered
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posted February 22, 2004 09:03 AM
aqua! you crack me up!!IP: Logged |
Harpyr
Newflake Posts: 0
From: Alaska
Registered: Jun 2010
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posted February 22, 2004 02:03 PM
butter.. wha?aqua- You have endured so much lately. A hysterectomy is an enormous transition in an of itself.
Be gentle with yourself.    IP: Logged |
aquaspryt69
unregistered
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posted February 22, 2004 02:13 PM
Yeah, butter! That's what she wrote...and what's up with the UNIVERSAL code? Does this mean that I will always pick these men who like to find out your weaknesses just to use them against you? I may as well become a nun now, or whatever a non-virgin can be under such circumstances.
Also, he knows about "aquaspryt", but not "aquaspryt69". How can I change my name so he can't "find" me? He knows about my love of astrology and how these are the sites I frequent. I refuse to be scared away from the things that do bring me happiness, but if he can figure out how to turn a computer on, then he will be closer to finding me.
You know, for a Sag Sun, Aqua Moon, he's way behind the times of technology! I figured he would be a computer guru or nerd, just the opposite. This totally goes against any thing I've ever read on these signs. IP: Logged |
Harpyr
Newflake Posts: 0
From: Alaska
Registered: Jun 2010
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posted February 22, 2004 02:48 PM
well... You haven't been on this site for very long so it wouldn't be a big deal to just create a new user account. I don't think there is anyway to change your name but keep the same acct. with the post numbers and stuff.IP: Logged |
aquaspryt69
unregistered
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posted February 22, 2004 05:01 PM
Bummer, but thanks HappyrIP: Logged |
Ariesrocks!
unregistered
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posted February 22, 2004 05:04 PM
let's think of a new user name, how about...Scorpiorocks!IP: Logged |
pidaua
Knowflake Posts: 67
From: Back in AZ with Bear the Leo
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 22, 2004 06:42 PM
Hey Aqua, I know I was a bit hard on you, but that is because I care. I commend your decision, I know it was a difficult one to make. I agree with Harpyr - change your user name.  I like what she picked. IP: Logged |
astro junkie
unregistered
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posted February 22, 2004 10:18 PM
I should have written it like this:"YOU ARE LIKE BUTTA GORGEOUS..." You are sweet and delicate and wholesome and pure, and a little bit goes a long way... And as for who you may attract for a while, I'm preparing you for that. In case your life doesn't make a 180 right off the bat, so you don't freak and go back, ok? That's a common pattern you need to rebel and FIGHT LIKE HELL against.  Heads up: If you become very familiar with your weaknesses, then how can you pick men who will use them against you? Eh? Hang in there... remember to take things to a slower more deliberate pace.  IP: Logged |
aquaspryt69
unregistered
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posted February 23, 2004 03:00 AM
Ariesrocks: How original!
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aquaspryt69
unregistered
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posted February 23, 2004 03:03 AM
Astro junkie:  Good question, how do I become familiar with those weaknesses in particular? I feel very oblivious to their signs/signals.
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aquaspryt69
unregistered
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posted February 23, 2004 03:09 AM
And no, I don't want to be doing anymore 180's. I drove my truck to Phoenixe on Valentine's Day, the day it last occured! to get the brakes fixed. The only brake was the emergency brake! I got to the corner of I-17 and Carefree Hwy and, thank God the corner is still dirt lot, I had to pull in there to avoid an accident and did a 180! Scared the S*** out of me and my JRT!
I find it funny now, but at the time I was, shall we say, very irate! No more 180's PLEASE!  IP: Logged |
astro junkie
unregistered
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posted February 23, 2004 11:06 PM
Aqua -Good! We are all synchronized now. That 180 in your truck, me writing you about a 180... this is your hallmark... How do you recognize your weaknesses? Well, it is possible you will never fully recognize all your weaknesses. And lets say that you do, you may not be able to do anything to change them. It may be you need to then see your weaknesses as strengths, and give them respect. If you do that, you will expect others to respect them as well. If you speak with a counselor or therapist for a while, they might help you to figure out what you SHOULD change about yourself. Sometimes we hate something about ourselves and it may actually be an inaccurate, subjective perception of ourselves from messages we received growing up. That's important. It's the first step in taking responsibility for your actions, and to know where you end and other's opinions of you begin. At times we unconsciously think something negative about ourselves, which others pick up on and if they are insecure or interested in controlling you, they will manage to use this weakness in order to manipulate you - all the time never letting on what they know, OR, trying to bring it out in the open for the purpose of healing. I must add that I am extremely proud of you, and I don't think I'm the only one. All of us here have nothing but pure love and hope for you. Consider yourself deserving of it and please accept our attempts to reach you half way... .gloria IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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