posted February 27, 2004 07:11 PM
So, it's always on the days when I feel pooped and have no makeup on and throw on the shirt that was peeping out from behind the couch...I stop to get gas, (pumping myself among a bunch of men makes me feel soooo sexy...). And I've always had this fantasy that the guy pumping on the opposite side of me is a total sexy hunk who wants me.
Well... he wasn't a typical hunk but... he was my type...
Anyways, so I sort of did this weird thing where I looked like I was almost tripping over the hose on my pump, which made me sort of lean backwards so I can take a peek... hmmm... not bad...
Then I look at his truck... An absolutely cool white 1960 Ford Truck that had such beautifully charming lines, and not quite like anything I've ever seen before.
Well, he didn't react when I "almost tripped", (he probably thought I was a total spaz), so I thought I'll just comment on the cool truck. He said he drove it all the way from L.A. Seemed really friendly in a roughneck kind of way (just like I like'em)... but I wasn't about to get too ahead of myself cuz he was putting out a subtle "I'm not single" vibe.
Just as I asked him how long he'd been in Florida, and he said "8 months", this really wacky lady (like 60 years old) swiftly pulls in, sort of squaring our vehicles, her car door flies open before arriving at a complete stop, and she yells to him, "What year?!" And he and I look at each other and start laughing.
And so we both thought she just liked old classics and was then going to drive away. But then she asks him, "So what are you doing tomorrow?" And he and I look at each other like, *huh?*...
And she persists... I mean, her demeanor was just very strange for this area where people are just really laid back. And she's like, "because I'm moving and I've got some furniture and boxes I need help with..." And I'm eyeing her trying to figure out if she was a horny housewife who was using that as an excuse to jump his bones, or if she was being truthful.
And he's being a total doll towards her, even though we were BOTH thinking, *she gots some cojones*
I'm just standing there like... *sigh* ... and then as I'm not even listening to her anymore I hear the words pop out of her mouth, "...and I'll even cook Lasagna for your troubles..." And I jump up and say, "Lasagna?... Hey! I've got a truck too!" While I'm patting my truck. And we all laugh.
But then she's non-stop rambling on about where she lives and blah blah blah, her life story and all her aches and pains... then like as I'm getting ready to go home, cursing my bad luck once more, she abruptly stops midstream and says, "Is that your girlfriend?" He's laughing under his breath and he's stalling a little bit... (and I already knew why cuz he'd put out that subtle "taken" vibe, although he was super friendly...
So I answer invitingly, "No, we just met!" And he totally followed my lead, "Yeah, we just met." ... and there was this long uncomfortable pause and he says, "... yeah, I've been single for a long time, but I've been going out with someone for 3 months now..."
(OH! It was soooo cute the way he said that...)
And so like some weird psychic witch in the night she says, "You two should be together."
It was SOOOOO weird!!!
And he laughs nervously looking at me, and I'm just looking at her with my jaw on the ground and my eyes bugging, thinking about how I couldn't wait to tell the Knowflakes what just happened...
And then she says, "You make a good couple."
Very surreal-like...
So she asks HIM, "How old are you?" And again we're thinking, *this lady's got some cojones* And I'm praying for a high number, like I was playing at the crapshoot table or something. And he says, "31".
And she looks at me like asking if I approved and I said, "Oh... he's young..." like an idiot...
And with her ever-bulging cojones she asks me how old I am, and I said, "I'm Demi Moore years old."
And HE says, "Oh, I don't even know how old Demi Moore is." And I'm thinking, *would you like to find out?*
So I try to change the subject cause at that point she's f'd with our heads too much for comfort, and he stays behind while I grab a paper and pencil for him to get her address, and I write it down for me too just to show I'm willing to be helpful. And while I'm writing the stuff down, I impulsively write my first name and phone # down for him.
Away from her, I call him to my vehicle and say, "Here's her information, and in case it doesn't work out with your girl, here's my phone number, I mean, three months is not that long." And he's all happy. And I say, "UNLESS she's a wacko jealous suspicious type - we can be friends or whatever - I'm not competitive towards other women or anything."
And he was totally happy and cool, and says he'll give me a call. And it was still all so surreal. I'M thinking this lady flew down from the moon on her broom just to bring him and I together. And I'm sure he was sort of feeling a sense of the same...
Ok... you guys can start placing your bets now...
.gloria
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it's better to light a candle than curse the darkness...