posted April 30, 2004 11:30 AM              

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Everyone-

I've been asking myself, taking all the astrological influences into consideration, why since childhood I have not been able to have strong friendships with people of the same sex (me being female). It has been a long time since I can remember having a good girlfriend to talk to and go out with. I just wanted to know being Sun Scorp and Moon Taurus if my personality is one that other females, irrespective of astro sign, are not ever going to trust in me as a person. I just miss having deep trusting bonds with women where you laugh, cry and do all the stupid things girls do!!! Does anyone have any insight?

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posted April 30, 2004 11:37 AM              

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What does NC mean as a birthplace? Again, go to www.astro.com and look at your interactive chart.
BTW there are a lot of people here that I consider friends now and I don't feel so alone anymore. Hopefully you will feel the same way!

Good luck!

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posted April 30, 2004 02:03 PM            

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Scorpio22~

I, too am a Scorpio woman. I know what you mean. I'll bet if you polled other Scorpios here, you'd see that your hunch is correct. I think, and I could be wrong, that due to our passionate natures, our inability to take things falsely, and our need to go beyond the surface trivialities, makes friendship deeper to us and not as frivolous. It means something.. alot of relationships (especially yournger ones) we forge, tend to be explorative, in our youth, we learn things about ourselves and each other, try things out, learn who we are, and it is easy to bond with others as we all grow. Women can go shopping togethger, can talk incessently, and alot of the times, friendships between women are sort of false.. there is an edge of competition, an air of pretense. Not in all friendships, but in alot of 'social' ones. You want more than that. Friendship to you is worth more, and you won't lay your loyalties on just anyone. Friends and lovers included. There must be worth in the union, or you feel why bother investing. You miss the surface bonding, yes, but know when you find the right friend, past friendships won't matter.. the degree of 'girliness' together, you will find, was mostly an illusion of adolescent learning and situations.
By the way.. my best friends are male. The one best GIRL-friend I have, is another Scorpio. She feels the same way.
Interesting that you have Scorpio and Taurus opposition strongly in your chart. I would think that would give you more possessiveness, yet a more detatched outlook on 'material' friendships.
If it is a real need, understand you will find it. Look into a class, maybe?

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posted April 30, 2004 02:36 PM            

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Yes, actually all my closest friends are male. I actually had three men and one woman in my bridal party - we called them "Bridesmen" (and it was a Greek Orthodox wedding - I think the Priest was really thrown for a loop, he didn't expect the entire altar to be filled with men)

I actually had both male and female friends up through high school, but once I got out, and things got real, I found male friendships to be more loyal and rewarding. The only two girlfriends I have now are from HS (Gem & Cappy).

The one female sign I do always tend to click w/ is Aries. It's cause they speak their minds and you don't have to candy coat things you say to them. They have passion and aren't afraid to take chances and be themselves. They "keep it real".

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“The good things which belong to prosperity are to be wished, but the good things that belong to adversity are to be admired.” Seneca

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posted April 30, 2004 02:49 PM            

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Yep.. I wholeheartedly agree with you.

I love the strength and honesty of Aries women.

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posted April 30, 2004 03:09 PM              

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Once again pixelpixie, you are right on with your analysis . I am a scorpio moon person and this holds true for me as well. I haven't had the good ole girlfriend bonding in a while, but when I did it was always with an Aries female. The Aries female has a scorpio moon too, and she would much rather hang out with men or with each other anyday. Now that I think about it, I always tend to get along best with women of masculine signs.

Scorpio22, I find that the only time I really miss the girly bonding stuff is when I think that is what I am supposed to be missing. Does that make sense? It seems like that's how everyone else is living, so you feel like you need to do it too? Just a thought.

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posted April 30, 2004 03:41 PM              

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I agree with all of you. Maybe I'm looking for something that I don't necessarily need. I am the last person to want to imitate but when I see something I think that I should deserve just based on my nature (always ready to bend over backwards to help those that need it as long as it is reciprocated) I get somewhat melancholic and think that everyone else gets to have all the fun. I just don't feel that I have the sort of relationships with women that I should at my age. Even my mother-in-law has girl's night outings (Gemini maybe that explains it) and I'm more the stay at home and eat ice cream and chocolate until I hurl!!! J/k!!! But I am a homebody. Maybe I should start sports again!!!? Suggestions anyone?

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posted April 30, 2004 03:43 PM              

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LIstening to this I felt like my Moon is in Scorpio.
And YES, sports help to the ones that do them...

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posted April 30, 2004 10:30 PM              

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Hey -

I've read some stuff over the years about this, and I think even got some of this from Linda a long time ago... Scorpio women secretly wish they had been born a man - that has nothing to do with sex, by the way. I know all my life, I've wished I'd been born a man. As a woman, I don't stop to ask for directions, I don't read the instructions before assembling, I like the Three Stooges, and even Andrew Dice Clay.

But as a matter of fact, it's part of Scorpio woman's lesson this lifetime to learn how to bond with other women.

I too like Aries women a TON (I've said this before), and maybe it's because Scorpio's like the hard bottom line.

ps: I'm a Libra Sun with Merc/Mars/Neptune in Scorpio.

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posted May 01, 2004 02:06 AM            

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I'd have to dispute that for me personally. I love being a woman. We have at least as much if not more power ultimately IMO, although it may often appear otherwise - and we can have the best of both worlds - it's much more socially acceptable for a woman in touch with masculinity than it is for a man to be "too" in touch w/ his femininity (I use "too" because sometimes it seems in some circles just not being a ba$tard qualifies as "too" in touch w/ your femininity). There are many cases where we have to prove ourselves ten times more than a man in a similar position, but once you have, the sky's the limit.

And I would concur totally with Scorps liking the hard bottom line.

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“The good things which belong to prosperity are to be wished, but the good things that belong to adversity are to be admired.” Seneca

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posted May 01, 2004 02:27 AM            

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Yes, I also like hard bottoms.
What?

Actually, astro junkie, that is sort of a misquote, though I am sure you didn't mean it as such. Linda didn't mean it like that, in context of the whole section.
I couldn't find it, but when I do, I'll post it.

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posted May 01, 2004 04:38 AM            

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Geez, this thread makes me feel so much better!! I was just thinking about this exact same thing yesterday ~ I'm an Aries/Gem/Scorp.

I tend to get along best with others who are strong in fire signs or Scorpio too. Actually I should include those strong in air as well.

Angie

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posted May 01, 2004 09:36 AM              

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Wow, I've noticed the same things about Scorpios. All of the Scorpios I've known-men and women-have a tough time making close friends of the same sex. That's interesting. I wonder if it has anything to do with their sexual magnetism.

I have a lot of friends from different signs-not too many Pisces or Cancers though. If I had to generalize, I'd say Aquarians, Leos and Taureans make up the majority of my friends. My coworker commented yesterday that I have a lot of male friends (a Libra-then she asked if I knew any to set her up with ) I also tend to befriend male Capricorns quite easily. Overall, I click best with Aquarians, minus a few bad seeds. I also tend to click very well with Gemini moons, even if they are hard to pin down. My toughest challenges are Cancers and female Sags.

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posted May 01, 2004 11:15 AM            

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I would say the sexual magnetism thing has a definate bearing on friendships too.
I'm glad you brought it up.

Lull in conversation? Throw them 'a look'. Can't do that with women as easily....

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posted May 01, 2004 12:05 PM            

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I used to have quite a few friends, and I like almost everybody I come into contact with ~ I just tend to have trouble "letting people in" now, there aren't too many people I feel I can talk to about most things. It used to be that I considered everybody a friend, until they did something to prove that notion wrong. My best friends are in England, I miss them so much sometimes, I just haven't met anyone over here that I feel as comfortable with ~ at least not in person.

Angie

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posted May 01, 2004 07:10 PM              

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I have a similar difficulty with other women too. Particularly groups of women. I don't do the going-out-for-coffee/shopping-for-clothes-together thing, and somehow - I don't know - conversations I have with other women just die after a while; many of them just seem to have nothing to say, or only be able to talk at a very basic level. They don't question things very much, and don't aggressively pursue projects like I do; they think I'm weird (well, so do most people). I went to a single-sex girls' school for 10 years and found it incredibly limiting. Going to a mixed school for two years afterwards was like a breath of fresh air...I LOVE men...they're (well, many of them) not afraid to take risks, do crazy things...I find them much more entertaining. Perhaps it's their larger brain size...and perhaps their attention boosts my ego (I occasionally like to pretend I'm Queen Elizabeth I).
Lots of women just seem to be into exchanging niceties "oh, DAHLING", and I think, come on, get real!
- But perhaps I have just been mixing with the wrong type of woman!

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posted May 01, 2004 07:36 PM              

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Well its not just Scorpios that have the problem with female relationships, I am female Pisces sun but I have a Taurus moon. The few close friends I have made over the years and I mean few have been male.I have often wondered why I seem to prefer my own company on shopping trips etc,I dont discuss any of my personal life with anyone, maybe someone could enlighten me.I also enjoyed my fathers company he had a Taurus moon.I dont have any planets in Scorpio, Virgo ascendant.

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posted May 02, 2004 12:06 AM              

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I hate to say it, but other women can be downright...catty. I've had the experience of working in a majority female office, as well as a majority male office, and I have to say, you spend WAY less time on HR issues when you're dealing with mostly men, than you do when dealing with mostly women. Women expect stupid niceness from other women. Women expect other women to NEVER consider themselves, only others. Yet, THEY are perfectly capeable of putting themselves first. It's like witchy women use the societally ingrained "niceness" of other women against them. "You're suppose to be NICE. You're not suppose to be ambitious. You're suppose to make ME look good, not you, even if I don't ask you, if you were a good friend that is".

Yeah, if I had to chose, it would be an all male work environmnent, but not sexist pigs though. They employ the same techniques as the catty women, with the added bonus of never paying attention to a female's opinion or viewpoint, unless a male is saying it for her.

But, I digress. I had a Scorpio best friend for many years. Sometimes she flirted with her friend's boyfriends, sometimes they got crushes on her and called her up to ask her out. Usually she was shocked and appalled by that. One time, she went for it. It wasn't my boyfreind, but that troubled me greatly. It's not that Scorpio woman aren't likeable, because they really and truly are...very cool people. It's that you sense the danger in their powerful sexuality...and you get the idea that you're better off to keep them from getting too close to your man. They'll bewitch him if you're not careful. And, the interesting thing is...most Scorpios won't even deny this.

Brutally honest, as always

the lionhearted

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posted May 02, 2004 02:55 AM            

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I like that you are brutal, I like that you are honest. I like that you are brutally honest.

~signed~ The Scorpio sex-kitten.

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posted May 02, 2004 06:30 AM              

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I have this theory that the sole woman in an all-male working environment has a better chance of getting promoted than a woman in a mixed or all-female working environment - because the guys in an all-male environment realize they need a prominent female to leaven the lump, whereas mixed environments tend to favour promotion of men over women because they expect women to get pregnant and leave anyway, or the bosses in all-female environments promote their buddies.
Any advances on the above?

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posted May 02, 2004 06:35 AM              

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Lioneye - you are dead right about women expecting "stupid" niceness from other women. I don't - and maybe I don't give it - and maybe they don't gravitate towards me because I don't tll them what they want to hear. It's a kind of "social etiquette" thing.
Women with Venus and Mars in Scorpio are man-magnets too. They just can't help it. I know a Libra with both of those placements, PLUS a Scorpio Ascendant...and they just turn heads...

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posted May 02, 2004 09:34 AM              

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People in general are frightened of Aries and Scorpio energy since it pops up at you when it wants to without being controlled.

Women show fear more easily than men. Although I have felt an undercurrent of fear that felt like tension from men. Especially Air sign men. But it was actually a wave of steady nervous fear. You can feel it coming of women in bursts, it's more hysterical.

I have an 8th house moon and when someone's Uranus is conjunct my moon I can feel his or her fears and I tend to feel undone.

I do know Scorpio women who would like to have more female friends, or at least ONE good one. It's because they are underneath ladies and want to be polite. They love social customs and men are not as into teas and brunches as women.

That's why my mother was so happy she had two girls, as a Scorpio she had her girlfriends built in, someone to take to brunch and tea every sunday. The best girlfriend for a Scorpio woman is another Scorpio, IMO.

Natasha
Taurus

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posted May 02, 2004 12:17 PM              

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From my (humble) observations, I would say Cancer and Virgo women seem to have the best time with girlfriends. Note: these are considered to be the most "motherly" or domestic signs in the zodiac. Note, also, that we don't have any Cancerian or Virgoan contributions to this thread...
By and large, the types of women that go against the grain of "traditional" female roles tend to have the most problems making girlfriends. This is particularly true of Fire signs and Scorpios. Air signs get on OK with both sexes since they will talk to anybody, and Earth signs don't appear to have too much of a problem either. There's an unspoken two-way jealousy between the more traditionally female types, who envy the intellect, drive, confidence (and sheer X-factor) of more aggressive women (they find it threatening), and the latter, who - perhaps - envy the former's ability to make girlfriends and "play the game". I can't think of any simpler way of putting it.
Natasha, you are right about Mars energy. It sits ever so slightly uncomfortably within a group of Venusians, and imbues its natives with thought-processes that are thoroughly alien to most women. When an Aries within an all-female group assigned a task suggests getting down to it IMMEDIATELY and in a logical manner (i.e. read the instructions, formulate a strategy/game plan according to x, y, z), the rest of the group simply cannot relate to it, since they would rather sit around talking about it, rather than getting the job done (hence the joke "how many women does it take to change a light bulb?" - I was driven mad at college by a persistently subversive, and rather unintelligent, but popular Cancerian). Also, Aries women are NOT group-oriented, very ego-driven and fairly ruthless. Scorpio women are more circumspect, calmer and perhaps less likely to barge into a leadership role. They probably get more respect from an all-female group, though they don't buy any sycophancy. Both signs are highly independent, and tend to accomplish more on their own.

- But hang on - we have an interesting twist here. Individuals within each of the two groups of women I've mentioned - traditional and non-traditional - hate EACH OTHER too. So what does it all boil down to? Easy. Sex. Love it or hate it, we're all imbued very much with the same thing: a desire to impress MEN. Perhaps non-traditional women are jealous of their opposites, because those are the types of women that have been paraded as an "ideal" for so long, i.e. supposed to be more "desirable". (That's why some career women go to pieces because they can't cook. We all let ourselves be made to feel inferior in some way.)
Non-traditional women are also jealous of women within their own group, not because they are different, but because they are perceived to be similar or better (in areas such as dress, wages etc.), and because they are highly competitive. Traditional women compete with each other in a parallel way (i.e. numbers of grandchildren). But why do we do it? Who are we ultimately trying to impress? MEN. It's amazing how secretly desperate we all are.
Is the fact that women have always, do, and will always hate each other an incontrovertible, unalterable fact? Shere Hite has suggested that women make the effort to let go of their prejudices, to like each other - which sounds great in theory - but unless ALL women make the effort, is a practical impossibility. I think that part of women's potential insane jealousy of one another stems from the fact that they have always been viewed as the "weaker sex" in every way - so have to fight extra hard to achieve whatever it is possible for them to.

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posted May 02, 2004 11:26 PM              

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Wow, yes, I actually know just what some of you here do mean about the sometimes smaller scope of women's friendships too.

I also find that it can be a little bit difficult to get beneath the 'surface stuff' with them and talk about things that are much more deeply explorative in their nature as well.

But, hey, at least I found this place for now, and hopefully I'll find some other places like this in the future too.

So thanks for being so damn explorative everybody! Lol

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"Somewhere once I had read a description of eternity. 'If there were a mile high mountain of granite, and once every ten thousand years, a bird flew past and brushed it with a feather, by the time that mountain was worn away, only a fraction of a second would have passed in the context of eternity.'"

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posted May 04, 2004 06:02 PM              

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Wow, Ariestiger...I friggen loved your post. You captured it all, in a nutshell. I especially liked this..

quote:

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But why do we do it? Who are we ultimately trying to impress? MEN. It's amazing how secretly desperate we all are.

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Amazing, and a little sad too. But how can we help it? We've grown up with the message that we're not really worthy until someone with a wiener says we're worthy. And we're not encouraged to compete aggressively, THAT'S the male's territory. So we have to compete subtley by tearing down the competition, hair by hair, typo by typo, witchy back stab by witchy back-stab.

And may God help you if you're "too pretty".

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