posted June 09, 2004 06:47 PM              

After reading the postings of the "ineresting question about sex" thread started by Playful pondering fish moon. It reminded me of this book I have, that is absolutly hysterical. You all must get it if you don't have it already.

I've gotten it for a couple of friends of mine, who almost died from laughter.

It's called HOW TO SPOT A B*****D BY HIS STAR SIGN by Adele Lang and Susi Rajah.

"The truth is out! Look no further! Everything you need to know about men and their star signs...but astrologers are too polite to tell you."

"Why is Capricorn so boring?" * "When will Scorpio stop playing mind games?" * "What makes Libra think he's so perfect?" * "And who on earth would want to mate with an Aries?" * "Do you have the skills nessasary to cope with a Virgo?"

"Deride, ridicule, and annoy the hell out of men. Speed up the dating process by using star sign elimination. Keep current boyfriends/husbands in their places. Cheer your self up when you've just been dumped by a ******* . And much, much more!"

They think of it as "painstakingly, self-sacrificing, and bone-cringingly honest research conducted over a number of years with a number of ******** for the benefit of women everywhere."

It's really not a man bashing book. It's just funny - and quite accurate.

A must read.

Get it now - before it's too late!

posted June 09, 2004 07:26 PM              

"Funny thing about life, nobody gets out alive"

posted June 10, 2004 12:47 PM              

Ha!Ha! Oxy, I can imagine! I gave a copy to my Aquarian girlfriend, and we were the same way. I have aquar. intercepted in my first house and find my self alot like an aquarian. We had a real hoot! And I get the "people must have thought we were mad" thing too. Isnt it fun!

posted June 10, 2004 05:13 PM              

What does it say about Virgo men? (mine has Leo rising, so he's not as persnickety as most Virgos are) But, I'm curious now. Could you post a blurb of it here for us? (well, ok for me? )

posted June 11, 2004 01:59 AM              

Ah, yes. My lunatic Aries ex decided to leave me stranded on the side of a road (I was 21 at the time), without a penny to my name - 3,000 miles from home!

Yup! True story. While traveling across the country, my car breaks down, a fight ensues, and he punches out all of my car windows. Then, proceeds to hitch hike off into the sunset with some poor girl - who for some strange reason, decided to pick the crazy b*****d up.

Yes, after spending the night getting attacked mercilessly by misquitos in my windowless car, I vowed never again to date an Aries b*****d.

Oh, I could go on. But that could take a veeery long time.

Imagine the taurus temper coupled with the Aries.......uhh? psychoness? Yes, that's it!
Bad mix to say the least.

Thank God that it's over. Hey, we live and learn!

26

lioneye68 -
Sure! I'll post some of it for you. I'll try and do it tomrw., right now I have to catch some

posted June 11, 2004 06:21 AM              

Ummmm... why didn't you hitchhike instead of getting bit by vampires?

posted June 11, 2004 02:20 PM              

I decided not to hitch ( ) because I did'nt think it would be a good move for a young female to do, by herself - too dangerous.

And with my luck at the time - I probably would have been picked up by another Aries!

Luckily, I had a friend who had recently moved near the area I was ditched. He drove 3 hours to come pick me up. My Libra friend saved the day.

I think I have an angel looking over me sometimes.

26

posted June 11, 2004 03:55 PM              

People always think that the only people who pick up hitchhikers are crazy people, and it's not true. One time a super nice lady with 3 kids in a minivan gave me a ride. More often than not, it's people like that, believe it or not.

But the ultimate guarantee of your safety is if a trucker stops for you. Just so you know just in case...

posted June 12, 2004 02:16 AM              

Nah, he would'nt do that. All of this is in the past. I've actually seen him since then.
All has been forgiven. I can't seem to hold grudges.

I guess I feel everyone who comes into your life has something to teach you - he taught me alot. About myself, relationships, life.

I loved him once. We had karma to work out I guess. Without knowing him I wouldnt be the person I am today. I wish him the best in life. I know he's out there somewhere with his thumb in the air, waiting for a ride.

He was a character. I have to admit there were bad times but also very good times - and when they were good they were very good. Boy, was he funny. And could we ever laugh. I miss that.

He is a wandering soul, a gypsy, just another one of us trying to find his way. And for that I still love and respect him.

They say the ones you love the most, can pis you off the most.

You know, I did have to fill one of my tires with air the other day...............
hmmmmm.......... Nah!
26t

************************************
astrojunkie,

Yeah, you're right people do always think that people who pick up hitchhikers are crazy. And most of the time they are not.

This Aries guy has been hitching on and off all around the country since he was 15 - and he's still alive (we're 26 now). According to him some people are a little weird but really harmless. I have heard a couple of freaky stories though.

posted June 12, 2004 02:28 AM              

That's one reason why they'll stop.

posted June 12, 2004 03:18 AM              

Here you go. But, I thought the chapter about Virgo was the least funny. If you get the book, read Leo since that is his rising sign. It's a funny one.

the virgo b**d
"........Let's face it, massive generalizations and sweeping statements aside, the circumstantial evidence is overwhelming. Like the odd little habits Serial Killer/Virgo picked up in childhood. Even if you replace pulling wings off of bugs with stamp collecting, exchange bed-wetting for train spotting, and substitute a fascination with lighting fires for an unhealthy interest in algebra, you've got to admit the similarities are disturbing."

"This budding Bates is so spine-tingling awful his own mother encourages him to take candy from strangers and tries to lose him in shopping malls. If she's lucky and he takes her advice about only crossing roads when traffic lights are red, she won't have to put up with him telling her how to defrost her fridge correctly."

".......And who can blame the girls for refusing to kiss him in the school parking lot? To do so means he'd be close enough to scrutinize them. Serial Killer/Virgo is such a nitpicker, he won't just see the spots on their chins, he'll also see the blackheads, whiteheads, open pores and broken capillaries. And if he does happen to be staring deeply into their eyes, it's a dead cert he's moonlighting as an iridologist."

"It goes without saying he'll also put your domestic habits under the microscope. If your the kind of girl who thinks housework means waving a vacuum cleaner in the general vicinity of the living room, your going to drive Virgo insane (which takes quite alot of doing since DRIVE and VIRGO don't exactly go hand in hand)....."

"......Having said all this, there is one vice authors habitually omit when describing Virgo's less endearing qualities. And that's because they are too appalled to bring themselves to put it down on paper........let's not talk about (insert stage-managed whisper here)HIS SPENDING HABITS."

"It would be a gross miscarriage of justice to call Virgo mean with money. MEAN is just a little inoffensive word that cannot hope to conjure up the parsimonious ways of this b*****d. Instead try calling him an outrageous tightwad who would steal the coins out of a blind man's hat if he thought the poor beggar was'nt looking."

"Virgo is so careful with his cash, that he never actualy leaves home with it. However, he's quite willing to let you spend yours.
................"

"The Virgo B***d combines the vivaciousness of a reading lamp and the generosity of Scrooge (pre-ghostly visits) with the social graces of a serial killer. If you're looking for a man no other woman will ever want to steal, you've finally found him.
..................................................."

So there you go! Sorry lioneye you asked for it!

Hope it gave ya a laugh or two.

posted June 12, 2004 03:44 AM              

Hey I guess your right about the trucker thing.

I noticed youre from Orlando - I was stranded in Jupiter, FL.! on the highway! I still can't believe no one pulled over to help me. Not even a cop or anyone.

I somehow, fell asleep and when I woke up and realized I was'nt dreaming and made a long trek to the next exit. A man pulled up to me and offered a ride - but I declined.

I still think it's funny I ended up in "Jupiter" - me, being so into astrology and all. It sure felt like I was left on another planet!

Worst day of my life!

26

posted June 12, 2004 03:47 AM              

However...makes me wonder if I've been drawn to Virgos because my Cancer ex cheated on me and broke my heart. I decided to go for men that no other women would want? Nah!...that's not a nice thing to say about my Virgo ex.

posted June 12, 2004 04:28 AM              

Rule #1 about getting a ride. NEVER accept a ride if you're just "walking along" all innocent. I know it sounds nuts, but 9 times out of 10, it's a bad ride.

A girl sticking out her thumb just so is a little more "dangerous". YOU are in control, and don't forget it.

Did you ever see the movie, "Even Cowgirls Get the Blues" with Uma Thurman? It's freaky how close that whole vibe of the movie is to what I experienced.

posted June 12, 2004 04:31 AM              

Have you a bottle of "Rescue" in your car? It will get you 10 miles if you run out of gas, and it's legal to store it in your vehicle.

posted June 12, 2004 12:17 PM              

I have noticed there are some cheap ones though. That's one of my pet peeves - cheap people. But for the most part I like Virgos, the ones I know are pretty funny.
26t

*******************************************
astro junkie,

Hey you know alot about this! Good to know about the putting the hood up. And the bottle of rescue? I never knew. As you can see I wasnt too experienced in the "ways of the road" and that's the type of thing that can get a girl into trouble.

Hopefully, I won't have to use any of this advice but, it's good to know.

I do have a little first aid kit in my car though.

I'm going to go to my Netflix account and get that movie. I've never seen it.

by the way did you see what i posted for you in the Mars return topic you started?

posted June 12, 2004 03:03 PM              

As for survival bag, mmmm... love that taste of bandages and neosporin...

No, you need a backpack with stuff like a flashlight, a sewing kit, energy bars, list of phone numbers, utility knife, in addition to your first aid kit.