posted June 21, 2004 02:58 PM              

Example
A Pisces Woman I know
Gets very angry at lack of service in a restaurant but refuses to move or make a statement until at the boiling point.
Then she gets up and complains to the manager. She always visits the same restaurant but feels if a person hears her complaint she is happy.

I am a Taurus and I will get very angry at the lack of service at a restaurant and then leave and never come back without explaining. I will tell my companion that the food is much better elsewhere.

Comments appreciated,

posted June 21, 2004 03:23 PM              

first, I get up and walk around and look for a manager, and if I can't find one, then another server will do. Then, I just calmly say "we've been waiting for over 15 minutes and haven't even been approached by a server. Is there a problem? Could you, or somebody round up our server for us?"...always in a freindly, civilized manner, but at the same time, I'm sure my impatience is noted.

Often just the fact that you had to go looking for one is embarressing enough to prompt them to do a heck of a good job after that, in an attempt to make up for it.

If the service doesn't improve from there, and we're kept waiting for every little thing, even cuttlery...if it's really bad, I simply won't tip, won't go back, and will warn people I know that the service is aweful there.

My Virgo guy doesn't baby anyone's feeling if he's not pleased with the job they're doing. It's the one setting where he feels quite confortable in expressing his anger. He has Mars in the 12th, so he tends to stuff it down alot in personal situations. It's weird that this is the kind of thing that sets him temper off. Sometimes a little out of proportion to the situation too.

posted June 21, 2004 05:09 PM              

I like your attitude Lioneye, but I couldn't be that patient. Cancers get very upset about their food, I have found out, especially Venus in Cancer. Bad service is terrible for them.

The worst case of explosive temper at a restaurant was with a Cancer Sun, Pisces moon, Aqua ascendant, Leo mercury, and she blew up at a waitress who served ME mushroom soup instead of mushrooms over rice. She jumped up and screamed, I couldn't believe it.

I've never seen her that mad, she actually jumped up and down and screamed at every server, really blew up at everyone in the place.

I really didn't want to eat it, but I was going to just order something in addition. I was very surprised. I calmed her down by promising to cook her dinner next night. I am a lot more assertive about bad food now, or at least I don't complain until I try the food out first.

However, I could be a lot more assertive in terms of restaurants. Once I find a nice place, I will refuse to try something else, until they close down. I don't like club/bar/restaurant hopping.

My friends are not always happy that I insist on going someplace where I am "babied" by the server, especially male friends. But if they point out how soft and comfy a new place looks, I will be agreeable.

So everyone has their breaking point, but I am curious how others handle it.

Natasha
Taurus

posted June 21, 2004 06:48 PM            

My Leo-He wouldn't leave a tip and wouldn't go back. If it was really bad he would ask for the check in the middle of the meal and then leave.

This is just suppostion because it hasn't happened with us before (bad service together)

I have had bad service before and gone back to the same restaurant some other time to make sure they weren't just having an off day. The restaurnant in question has since gone out of business. I had warned people that when they are on they are great but when they are off the food is terrible. It was a roll of the dice but I didn't say anything to the managment.

My best friend (Gemini)-right then right there. If it is the food she will talk to the wait staffperon who is helping her. If it is the service she goes straight to the mangaement.

Interesting. Am I non confrantational? I guess so. I am not afraid of confrantation I just don't see the point in most situations...

posted June 21, 2004 07:51 PM              

I would be more likely to complain due to the rationalization that the food may be so bad it could cause illness. Then I really complain.

If I see how it affects others, or I want to respect myself due to some conflict I speak up.

"If you want to be loved, say something"
Bob Marley

posted June 22, 2004 03:08 AM              

I am a waitress, have been for 6 or 7 years now. I've worked in many different resturaunts from diners to fine dining establishments. Right now I waitress in a very high class resort, one of the top 10 in the country.

Let me tell you if you have never waitressed before it is not as easy as it may seem. This is a tough job, where you are dealing with a wide variety of customers, some nice some well....not so nice. You must be quick, have a superb memory, and keep calm under tense situations.

I make a little over $3.00 per hour plus tips. Some days you make good tips, some days you barely make anything. Just about every server I have known does the best they can to take good care of their tables, because we rely so heavily on the tips we recieve. If a waitperson can't get to your table right away, it is not because they don't want to. They are most likely extremely busy. Believe me this job is all about hustling, you have to be in 20 different places all at the same time.

Most of the time you usually have a 6 table section. One table needs their drinks, the other table's food is up and the cooks are yelling at you to get it out, the next table wants to order dessert. In your mind your thinking table 11 needs a coffee refill, table 4 needs their check, I've got to go out back into the freezer and scoop some iced cream, go take this table's order, that guy asked for more bread, now this table is giving me the evil eye for some reason, Oh no! I forgot to get table 7's soups and salads, and Oh! fabulous! the hostess just double sat me! I've got to make change for them, and then hurry up and run that table's credit card throught the machine, 'cause they're in rush to catch a movie.!!!!!!!!!&%$#@@!*&^

Don't get me wrong I've had bad service before. I don't complain to the manager, probably because I realize how stressful the job can be.

Sometimes one customer can ruin your whole shift. Some people are UNBELIEVEABLE. For the most part I've learned to let it slide off my back now. But I've seen many a waitress very upset and in tears in the kitchen because of the kind of customer that thinks they are the only table in the restauraunt, and expects everything yesterday. I'm telling you on a busy night your stress level goes through the roof. You want to try and please everyone but unfortunatly sometimes you can't. You just do the best you can.

There are always those customers that you can never please and are trying to get something for free. My favorite is when you go to a table and say hello and how are you tonight? And they don't answer you or look you in the eye, and just proceed to say, "I'll take a Coke".
No "I'd like a Coke please" or "I'm fine, thank you, How are you?"

Or the table that everything went perfectly with - they were nice, happy, got their food on time, it was good, no complaints. And then they leave you $2. It's insulting. You're left thinking did I do something wrong? Maybe they're just cheap, or don't have alot of money, or they don't realize that almost all of a waitpersons income comes from their tips, or don't care.

Sorry, did'nt mean to go on such a rant. For the most part the customers you encounter are very nice. I'm sure all of you are nice to your waitperson. I just had to put my 2 cents in. Being on the other side of the table and all.

It can be a frustrating job, but also fun. Just remember that although your waitperson may seem calm, there is always a flurry of things going on in their head, about all of the things they have to do to make sure ALL of their customers are happy. You never want to have them complain to your boss. We try and do everything we can so that does'nt happen.

WOW! It feels really good to type all of this out. Thanks for starting this topic - wait - wasnt this supposed to be "how we get angry/calm down".
Well, there you go! That's how I get angry, and I usually calm down with a cold one!

Be nice to your server's everyone!

posted June 22, 2004 04:14 PM              

Also...as a libra, my sensitivies are insulted when a person in a customer service role doesn't recognize how I am to be treated.

I have a general rule that if I am not acknowledged within a 1 minute time frame that I simply leave the establishment (no calling the manager, berating the waitress, or anything else). I simply walk out.

Of course I realize that this only leaves me hungry, but at least I haven't allowed a bad establishment to profit off of me.

posted June 22, 2004 07:22 PM              

I used to get much angrier until yoga too.

As for really bad service at Denny's well..Denny's is known for "service". I once was with someone, a Scorpio who was a little loud, and the waitress "mistakenly" poured a lemonade into his lap. I thought it was sort of weird, at the time. But then I went back with a Libra, and it happened again. Apparently Denny's doesn't anyone too loud:<

26TAurus, I know what you are saying, I do not ever expect the world on a busy night, in fact I just want to eat something. Some stale rolls tossed my way will be just fine until more comes my way!!

I was a waitress for one day, and had the cook throw things at me, cooks are the really mean ones, there are a lot of fights in the kitchen, and if they don't like you, they screw up the food. I finally threw some ice cream and said enough, I 've been called enough names!

They ought to just have cafeterias.
But I can't stand dirty forks and dishes.
I am guilty of saying, Coke, please sometimes, but then if I am too nice my date is PO'd. I once had an Aqua walk out on me because I made conversation with the gay waiter. I've had the same experience with a Virgo, and a Capricorn. I can't be nice to waitstaff anymore, even if I want to, that's why I can't stand dinner dates.

Has this happened to anyone?
Jealous dinner date upset at waitstaff?

26Taurus has this happened to you?

Natasha
Taurus

posted June 23, 2004 03:22 PM              

Wow, that's really sad that someone would walk out on you for being too nice.
I would have told him not to let the door hit him in the %$@ on the way out.
I try to be as nice as I can to everyone that comes across my path. I am not better than anyone. People are ALL equal in my eyes. I think it's the strong Aquarius/Uranus in my chart.
I hav'nt had this happen that I know of. Most people are appreciative of others being nice. It makes for a much nicer atmosphere. Especially when you are out for a nice night and a good meal.

I'd be thankful if someone walked out on me for that reason. Thankful that I did'nt have to kick their %$$ out the door.

posted June 23, 2004 04:47 PM              

I think my husband is nonconfrontational, and his leaving the restaurant is evidence of that. I cannot say if I think you are nonconfrontational. I don't know you well enough.

26taurus,

Thanks for the great service!! You were wonderful!! If I weren't so broke, I'd leave you a great tip .

I have a lot of respect for anyone who can stick with a serving job. It is one of the most difficult jobs there is. I talked about this in another string... but I don't remember which. I've been a server several times through my life. I do well at the job.. but putting up with rude people and their BS is something I struggle with. I have been fired once for telling this suit and tie a**hole who "just didn't know what he would do if his daughter ever ended up in such a pathectic job" to shove his dinner "you know where" and if he would like some assistance I'd be glad to oblige. Except I was a little more vulgar than my discription here. Management didn't so much like that... oh well.

So yeah... Kudos to you for putting up with those jerks and having the sense not to fly off the handle and get yourself fired

posted June 24, 2004 07:23 PM            

In any event, there is NO excuse for neglecting a table. As soon as someone is seated, it takes only a few seconds to say 'Hi, I am pidaua and I'll be your server..can I get you a drink?".

I found that the mere introduction does wonders to soothe a group of people versus ignoring them - don't you agree?

In the same respect, some people just NEED a good A$$ whooping for acting like barbarians at a restaurant. One Cappy I know is a complete turd and I will never go to a dinner if he is invited. He is a gesticulating, demanding, loud moron!!!

When I want service and I am being ignored, I will do two things. First I will do as Lioneye and in a friendly manner as for a server. IF nothing gets done, I just leave. I let the hostess know that I waited for more than 20 minutes (my normal cut off) and received no help and then I bail - never to go back again (ala - Natasha)

My Taurus is VERY particular about food (he has a picky Virgo moon and Venus in Cancer). He will not tolerate food that is cold, icky or being ignored. He will do has Natasha said, but he will have words with the manager. He is semi-nonconfrontational (Sun in the first house).

NOW...what I have noticed about the two of us and our response to "anger" is that we are different and we often misread the other's signals. He more often that me. Sometimes I get animated and excited (Natasha - you have a Sag sis, I am sure you are not hearing this for the first time). Well, he will say something to prod me and then I am like 'Well, what about this or that...how come we have to go here or there and what is so wrong with my driving?" Then he says "Now...now...don't get angry, see there you go, getting all excited over nothing...you need to think about your temper".

My temper? Keep in mind I am smiling as I was excitedly talking to him..but now this Sag is getting her bow ready and pulling out an extra sharp arrow. 'Oh, my temper, well, maybe if you didn't just sit there and expect me to have the animation for both of us....." blah blah blah....most of the time I catch it before it gets to a point where Mr. Bull becomes angry in the china shop...but there are times..when a nice sharp arrow would do his butt good.

Our latest little spat..well, the one little comment that torqued me a bit? He said "I think you put too much stock in astrology, you believe in it like a religion and it is NOT 100!" Hmmmmm.....I hadn't really said much in relation to astro to that point, so I am thinking "what is the deal?"

He still won't get to the real reason, but I think it has something to do with his possessiveness and my having many outside interests.

Natasha, do you care to throw in a comment or two? LOL....sometimes you bulls just facinate and frustrate me. But, I wouldn't change it for the world.

posted June 24, 2004 07:44 PM              

I didn't know you were a Sag, though I should have suspected. I'm glad to know... now I won't take your bluntness offensively . To be honest, I had a hard time figuring you in our first couple of conversations in GU. Now I know. You're a Sag. Blunt and to the point... probably not meaning to offend.

I really enjoy your posts and your vocabulary is wonderful! I love words, and I find the greatest words in your posts. You have a wonderful command of the English language, and I respect that immensely.

posted June 24, 2004 09:35 PM              

I don't care about that, I am more concerned about knowing more about the subject/being more skilled. Or having a better story.

Your Taurus sounds like he just doesn't want to be "out" as in not hip to what's going on. I suffer from that sometimes, I do like to know more about what other people know. Your Taurus probably wants to be hip and cool in front of you because respect is really a big thing for a Taurus. He likes to be respected for what he knows. As long as he can talk about what he knows he'll be happy.

Taureans are never that secure, we are always trying to impress you.

Sags are known for being devotional, it's an admirable quality but every Taurus struggles with devotion and commitment to something higher that is spiritual. We need to be grounded in a visual image. Sags have more spiritual emotion.

I am curious does your Taurus like to drink wine, or liquors? My Venus in Cancer Gemini loves different kinds of wine, is this a Venus in Cancer thing? Because Taurean types are not always fond of wine or liquors.

The Gemini I am dating, is very picky about his food too, and only take him to restaurants I know. He is athletic so he eats light foods but enjoys the wine, dessert, and bread.

I tend to watch the service jealously, and serve him myself whenever possible. I also do not like it when the server makes suggestions because in French cities like Montreal, they always urge you to try this or that or finish what you are eating which I find too much like eating at my Mother's.

If the service is wrong or off, My Gemini does nothing but stare at the waitress. I find that a signal that he is bored and not paying attention to me so I go looking immediately for someone and also I check on our food sometimes by peeking into the kitchen on the way to the restrooms and saying something encouraging like "looks good", or "can't wait".

This probably annoys the hell out of the Gemini but it always works and we get out of there in time for our movie or show. French restaurants are very slow, and everyone talks to you. I don't like it when neighbors talk to him because I want to be the one he's talking to, plus it takes more time.

We usually have to go to a movie and then he's mad if we're late.

My Scorpio friend is the hardest to serve. She will complain if the server has an "attitude". The attitude is always invisible as far as I can see so it drives me crazy trying to see it. Once she senses that, she will never go back and won't ever stop complaning about that place. If the server makes her feel stupid, or just acts ignorant, she gets very angry and complains loudly throughout the meal.

I find she gets really hungry and can't say so and now I just feed her semi-fast food.

I can't see the "attitude" defense. Has anyone actually seen an attitude? I can see nothing happening but I have never seen that. That's mentally frustrating.

But I do like eating with her because she really appreciates it if I practically assist the service, as she likes her food fast and she likes to talk a lot directly at me without interruptions. She is vocal and dramatic and I like listening.

Jazz bars, Martini bars, dance clubs, wine bars, dessert places, and those kinds of places are much easier to visit when you don't know someone well because the service is easy.
I have been trying to take the Gemini to those places but he still needs to eat. So far we like French and Italian places. Personally I like the atmosphere better for talking. I like cuisine from all over the world but I save those places for the Scorpio, or an Aqua.

posted June 24, 2004 09:37 PM            

I was once married to a dear Virgo that was a walking Dictionary, Thesaurus and Encylopedia all in one. He knew more than I cuold ever forget..even if I did refer to him as "stick in the mud man" from time to time.

I really don't try to offend people. I hate causing pain or emotional harm, sometimes my words are as sharp as my arrows, which causes me to dine of a meal of filet of sole for many days on end. LOL

By the way, I am very much the "sparkle" gal too...I LOVE glitter....I remember you saying something to that effect in another post. I thought it was purely a Sag thing..you know..bright shiny objects getting our attention.

posted June 24, 2004 09:42 PM              

He would yell across the entire restaurant when he was ignored, "Tip Time, Tip Time, Honey!!!!!!" and snap his fingers several times. His face would get really red and he looked brutal. Then when she would appear he would patronize her about how it "must be her first day here", and check out her rear end. Then he would give me the sweetest look, he could go from demon to angel. Not an experience I want to ever repeat. Nobody ever confronted him about it but me, a bad night.

posted June 24, 2004 11:37 PM            

WOW..you are so very right one. Yes, My Taurus has his Venus in Cancer and yes - he LOVES fine wine and liquors. Grey Goose on the rocks (if he drinks liquor) the best Merlot or Cabernet Merlot. Recently he took me to an exquisite Korean Restaurant where they served everything to be grilled at our own table BBQ. He was absolutely glowing when he explained all the dishes and I could tell he was impressed that I was so receptive. Well, of course I am...Saggies love these things and I loved hearing about his time in the Army in Korea. We even drank a Korean wine called Soju (sp).

He is a food snob..but I love it, because Saggies are also into fine wine and food. He also has his Mercury in Gemini and I find that he LOVES learning. In fact, there are time when we go toe to toe on certain subjects, but I fear he may be sometimes worried about my education or outside interests. I see your point about a Taurus wanting respect. Natasha, thank you for that insight. Sometimes I do not see the forest for the trees and I thought he was challenging me, now I see on some level he was just wanting to show that he understood or could keep up. Sometimes my Mercury in Capricorn is too matter-of-fact. LOL

I am somewhat like your Scorp friend. I can forget to eat, but watch out if I am hungry. I think I am almost Taurus like that (then again they say Pluto squaring Venus / Sun causes hypoglycemia) some of our worst tiffs come about when I am hungry..I never let him get hungry, but I sometimes forget about myself.

I think us Saggies and our opposites - Geminis- adore the attention you Taurans give us. I never liked someone actually feeding me..but when he gives me a taste of what he is eating or when he prepares something for me, I love it.

Your Libra Ex-father in law..did he ever make you want to just hide underneath the table? That is how I felt with the Cappy. It was just terrible. LMAO

posted June 25, 2004 09:23 AM              

The ex father-in-law was an enfant terrible, terrible child. Yes I would get very angry at the attention I would get with him. He was very into demeaning his wife by checking out other women in front of her and making crude comments. She was a Libra too but ignored everything. I once got very angry because he called me Miss Ice Tea, since I didn't order alcohol and the Iced teas are $1.50. He would say why not order water then? I felt it was none of his business.

And then I would threaten to pay for lunch or dinner, which would make him roar at me, that I had better watch it! Women don't pay! My ex's attitude was, he's my father I have to put up with it. What a pain, I can't stand being treated like that by another person's family. I won't take it. I don't expect my family to behave that way, although my mother has said some nasty things, it's usually around politics and I warn people about that.

It's so petty to fight with a waitress, or check out her rear, it's obviously a power play.

To answer your questionI would flee to the restroom when I couldn't say anything.

Go easy on your Taurus and let him think he knows something really well once in a while. He doesn't but it's a pride thing. I don't feed people since I could stab them with the fork accidentally, but I will offer to share always.