posted July 29, 2004 04:56 PM              

Don't go to the gym, though.

posted July 29, 2004 04:59 PM              

I'm the type of person who would've run away from home by age 10, and that's not exactly great advice to give someone unless it's in them to do it.

Talk to others who are in your position. Talk and talk to as many different people about what you are going through. You are a Scorpio? You need to get it out, or you will do yourself in. Remove yourself from toxic environments and toxic people immediately!! That's my personal belief.

Here's some astrological stuff:::

"Mars in 12th-
Mars here creates a character of heat and dryness (felt as hatred) that separates them from empathy with you.

It is often the case that the native is not aware of their own subconscious anger and that this forces its way to the surface in the form of confrontations with others where the cause of the conflict is not well understood; usually in the form of one of those "last straw" situations that brings the energies of this place to light. Here it is very important to keep awareness of the effect of your actions upon other people and to stay aware of hidden motivations.

This is one of those places where if Mars is in sect, it can help by cooling the hatred, but on the other side of the sword, your enemies may be able to disguise their intent and motives for their actions. Also it may be the case that the native has a talent for hiding their motives.

A nocturnal Mars here is especially good for spying because their actions appear to be for a purpose other than it is. A diurnal Mars will be more likely to bring hidden conflicts and motivations out into the open. Similar circumstances are the case when Mars is lord of this place (when Aries or Scorpio is the 12 sign from the ascendant)."

AND

"Mars in the Twelfth House

Mars in the Twelfth House denotes that the native's life is replete with many strange and unfortunate adventures. When confronted with a situation like this, if the native should act more out of impulse than reason, grave dangers to his health and mind are indicated.

The native of this position is liable to false imprisonment, treachery through misplaced affections, and injuries from enemies. In some cases, this position of Mars denotes poverty and a life long difficulty with finances.

This position of Mars also indicates that in time of war, if the native is involved, he will more than likely find himself taken as a prisoner."

AND

"MARS IN LIBRA

Mars is in the Sign of its detriment here and the radiations from the planet can be very dangerous if the native is not careful. There is a liability towards making unwise associations and ties and since Libra is a sign connected with marriage this position can be productive of unions with unsatisfactory results. Divorces and broken homes can result from this combination. He must employ the balancing influence of Libra in its full potential if he is to belittle the negative influences of Mars in this position."

* * * *

I'm sorry these interpretations sound so negative, but perhaps this is your wake-up call to begin to care for yourself, which looks like what you're doing now.

If your emotions are still ruling you, such as internalized anger which causes you to do injury to yourself, or injury to others, even after you've removed yourself from the environment, don't be afraid of considering take a super low dose of medication which will just take that edge off. Then you can go about your business more productively.

The meds these days are SO much more sophisticated and effective than from a long time ago. I'm NOT talking Prozac. Look into mellow stuff like Wellbutrin, Effexor XR, Paxil, stuff like that, in very minute doses. Remember, it's not a sign of weakness, it's a sign of courage to heal yourself.

One of the girls at this forum, Dorkus Malorkus, has been open here about recently trying Wellbutrin, and due to my post traumatic syndrome since Sept 11th, I've also taken it. I'm totally open about my experiences with this, as I used to be one of those people with "judgements". But I never took NOT ONE pill like that until, much to my surprise, I was hit with PTS, to the point my entire body shut down.

Not even my best intentions or mind could override those symptoms!!

posted July 29, 2004 06:37 PM              

But look at it this way. Some students go on to study psychology for years, devote their lives to it in order to be able to give people the tools to not only help themselves, but to help them understand how they may be contributing to their pain, by taking on guilt that DOES NOT BELONG TO THEM.

I've never been to a psychiatrist, except a few visits just so she could refer me to a psychopharmacologist... huh?

psycho + pharmacologist

As for counseling I've only gone to psychologists who are Ph.D'd. Big difference.

People who take St. John's Wort, sometimes they are just copping out. They think as long as it is an herb, they're "not crazy". In the mean time, the herb is not helping. Plus St. John's is not approved by the FDA and can cause organ damage.

The doctor who first told me to take medication was my neurologist, of all people. Since my body shut down after Sept 11th, I thought it was a neurological problem from injuries I had years before, I was basically beaten and left for dead. I didn't even realize I was suffering from post traumatic...

So the neurologist did like every test imaginable, including MRI's. He did give me something for physical functioning, but also told me I was depressed, and that there was a new medication called Paxil. I'm putting my hands up with my fingers in the shape of a cross like he was the devil! Hee hee...

No! No!

Well, I had to begin to heal. I asked him if that meant I needed to take meds for the rest of my life and he said no, explained how these new medications work, short-term as well as long-term.

In the same way as meditation or yoga trains you to change your behavior.

If I could do meditation & yoga and exercise all day, I'd be fine, but in the mean time, I have to deal with people, get to the grocery store, and the traffic... etc. And altering your behavior, or your reactions, take a while. Your brain is a muscle. If you lift weights for one day, will you look perfect the next day? No.

The new meds are NOT personality or mood modifiers. They are what's called "Reuptake Inhibitors". Sometimes when your brain releases a pleasant chemical, it re-absorbs it too quickly, to where it's ineffective to you. The meds blocks those "feel good chemicals" the brain makes naturally, from being reabsorbed before it gets a chance to make a difference.

Here's a direct quote:::

"...Paxil CR blocks serotonin from being reabsorbed back into the sender nerve cell. This process increases the amount of serotonin available to be absorbed by the next cell and can help message transmission return to normal..."

Here's a little animation which shows you how it works:::
www.paxilcr.com/flash/depression.html

If you go to any of the other Web sites, they are really simply explained. Like paxil.com, effexor.com, zoloft.com., etc.

When I started taking Paxil, I was SO SCARED. I'm like thinking I could freak out or not recognize myself. But the opposite happens. You actually feel like YOURSELF. That person you've been trying to be, or used to be before life screwed everything up, and you feel like a million pounds are lifted off your shoulders!! It does not numb you out, it frees the energy you've been using to fight the negativity, so you have more energy to do what YOU want to do.

Just be open to it. No one can force you to swallow a pill.

posted July 30, 2004 02:09 AM              

imagine urself to be a fish in a water stream with heavy currents. u have no where to go but where the stream takes u. slowly imagine ur self becomming an eagle and the water becomming air. an eagle has full control over air currents thanks to its advanced wings. now imagine air currents to be emotional undercurrents and ur wings to be ur mind. slowly glide through the data that comes accross. at the end settle at the peak of the mountain that represents a solution to all problems. u will notice ur mind glide through all ur emotional problems and worries. from watery sentiments they will become airy thoughts.

sounds stupid!? thats what an indian book called...'mind power' says.

it is also known as induction of alpha state of the brain. it lasts only for a few seconds. be alone in a oom while ding this or in a park. u scorpis can have still moments very easily i guess. there are also other techniques but thy aren't as applicable to an u as this one of an eagle.

posted July 30, 2004 02:25 AM              

most people only sympathize. no one ever gives a practical solution. talking also might make other feel ur weak. only a counsellor can understand ur problem. and give u some medicine to keep ur emoition under control. most people enter depression by tolerating thins much. i suggest u meet a psychiatirst like i suggest to yang.

no one can handle crisis better than u scorpio. and scorpio never talks about problems but in secret. don't be a looser like me who told everyone his problem only to realise there is little practical help. had i kept my worries to me i would had grown emotionally strong. understand that.in the past 2 years i have complained complaind and complained to achieve little.

don't make that mistake scorpi.get some money and visit a counsellor.

posted July 30, 2004 02:33 AM              

bw, the mdicines i take are ziparka and arpiprazol. i don't know if they are famous there.

posted July 30, 2004 03:36 AM              

The same if someone is under a great deal of stress, in TOTAL survival mode for an extended period of time, this actually DEPLETES the brain of serotonin or dopamine, etc.

Need to stress again, that some of these medications, taken in very low dosages, do NOT numb you out. I've never been a pill person, never even liked taking an aspirin and will deal with the headache through breathing techniques, etc. I've always had a great connection to my subconscious.

And no one was more surprised than me when I realized I was suffering from post traumatic stress syndrome after Sept 11th. I prayed, and exercised, and meditated, and did yoga, and continued to eat right for a few months after Sept 11th in an attempt to get over whatever it was that was happening to me. Believe me, I gave it the good try.

Now I know what it's like on the other side. I too believe in natural ways to heal the body, mind and soul. But like I said, sometimes it's beyond that, and there is no need to feel stupid and unproductive, when there is help out there to help you get over the hump. The med is NOT solving the problem. And should be accompanied with therapy. But although I'd been in therapy for a few years prior, not even that could pull me out.

Medication is an aid, and the medication you mentioned, I've never even heard of. The ones I mentioned are NOT mood enhancers like alchohol and such. This simply keeps the chemicals your brain produces NATURALLY from being reabsorbed, making it null and void. That's it!

And even good, intelligent, productive people should not feel even MORE GUILTY for feeling they can't CONTROL what's happening to them. That just makes you worse!

I'm completely against all that A.D.D. crapp about children, and I think it's a crime to dispense that to children just because someone has poor parenting skills. No one had A.D.D. when I was growing up, or if we acted like we did, it was just a normal headache we gave our parents!

The meds I mentioned, also, are NOT addictive. It would be like telling someone they shouldn't get a massage and have their brain flooded with dopamine and serotonin!! Or how about NO SEX!!!

Anyways, as for me - it's both physiological and neurological, and that will contribute to whatever emotional challenges I may have at the time. Everyone is different, but I agree with you that drugs are dispensed too easily, and we have a horrible mindset regarding all that. I'd kill myself before becoming one of those Valium addicted, alchoholic housewives!! And as for the A.D.D. medication for children, I'm behind Lisa Marie Presley and others who are raising awareness.

But if someone is troubled so much that they want to injure themselves or others, they need help. Some people don't really have a strong support system in their lives, and you have to work with the hand your drawn.

Just being here at this forum is very helpful for many of us... the most important thing is to try to appreciate what you have as much as possible. Show your appreciation as much as possible. Understand you are not alone and the world is not completely focused on making your life miserable, as it may seem sometimes. To be grateful as much as possible. Sometimes easier said than done. I've been honest here before about my inability to truly appreciate everything I have at times, and it's maddening at times. Almost like having too many gifts under the Xmas tree than you know what to do with.

Thanks to you all.