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Author
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Topic: crabby cancers
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purplezen
unregistered
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posted August 06, 2004 02:47 PM
 
my cancer bf is being really crabby lately. what can i do to help? i know this has nothing to do with me, but it is hard not to take it personally you know? any advice or insight?IP: Logged |
Gemini Nymph
unregistered
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posted August 06, 2004 02:53 PM
I feel your pain.  I don't know what to say - I never had any good luck with Cancer men myself and have sworn off them completely. Have you tried threatening to tell his mommy? How about slapping him really hard?? OK, that wasn't very nice of me....  I'm going to shut up now. IP: Logged |
lioneye68
unregistered
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posted August 06, 2004 03:22 PM
 @ GeminiSometimes Cancer men act like pri*ks because they want to sabatoge the relationship. They can't break up with people, they just don't know how to say the words, so they just become a-holes until you can't stand the sight of them, and YOU dump THEM. Then, they can tell everyone that they are the victim in the equation. And, sometimes, they get their feelings hurt by some (seemingly small) thing, but don't want to tell anyone what it was, because they know it sounds petty and/or overly sensitive. Besides, they'd rather have people think it's something much bigger. They can be hard to "get", because they get their feelings hurt very easily, and they KNOW this, and they know most people let the small things go, but they don't seem to be able to do that. So, they keep the cause of the hurt feelings to themselves, because people wouldn't understand anyway, why they take such small things so personally. They don't know why they do eithor. sorry you're feeling ucky because of it, purplezen  IP: Logged |
pixelpixie
Newflake Posts: 8
From: ON Canada
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 06, 2004 03:41 PM
Maybe just give him space and time. Remind him of happy things. Ignore the moods. Sometimes we all get mody, and we have our reasons.. no matter what our sign ( Of course, what do I know, I am a Scorpio, I get moods too!)
Hopefully it will fall away soon, or be addressed. If Lioneye is correct in her thinking he is pulling away, so be it.. only tolerate what you would put out. If he doesn't match your standards of treatment in a few weeks, *poof* gone.
Patience, Grasshopper.  IP: Logged |
Archer
unregistered
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posted August 07, 2004 05:03 AM
hey, cancer men, some of them raise their hands slightly when they walk like crabs! lol!------------------
Neerav IP: Logged |
purplezen
unregistered
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posted August 07, 2004 08:48 AM
I guess I wasnt very specific...he still shows me lots of attention and affection. I know that he would not try to sabotage the relationship. He usually tells me how he feels and in that regard he is an open book! anyway, I just feel like he is sort of sad lately. he has told me it has a lot to do with his family and job situation. I know he will feel better in september when he starts taking college classes again. thanks for the input everyone.IP: Logged |
sthenri
unregistered
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posted August 07, 2004 12:46 PM
PurpleZen, you are sensitive to his moods and so I feel for you. If a man has the Sun in the 4th and Venus in Cancer it's equally hard. My heart goes out to you, all I can say is get to talking to other people until his moods pass. He won't talk to you. Natasha
Cancer Moon/8th IP: Logged |
purplezen
unregistered
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posted August 07, 2004 03:26 PM
why would you say that he wouldnt talk to me sthenri? we talk everyday. thanks for the input.IP: Logged |
purplezen
unregistered
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posted August 07, 2004 04:37 PM
ps- his venus is in gemini.IP: Logged |
CancerianMoon
unregistered
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posted August 08, 2004 07:05 PM
hi purplezen,
you seem very sensitive to his needs...i'd like to add sometimes cancarians hold back until they are truely ready to either discuss or deal with certain things..all they need is to know they have that loving unconditional support,when they require it..i can imagine it not being easy...but being as supportive as you are to him...he will be back to his usual self before you know it..IP: Logged |
purplezen
unregistered
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posted August 08, 2004 07:34 PM
thanks cancerian moon. your post made me feel better. I'll let everyone know when he is his usual self again.IP: Logged |
sthenri
unregistered
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posted August 09, 2004 11:44 AM
Purplezen, I meant that he will like to talk when he is feeling better-I know Moods are difficult to deal with. They take up a lot of mental space, and sometimes it's better to let go. How to get someone else to be happy? I don't know.I don't think we are responsbile for other's happiness but we do need permission to let go of the worry and concern. I would ask him if there is anything to really worry about, if not then ask him to please stop torturing himself. Natasha
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purplezen
unregistered
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posted August 09, 2004 12:12 PM
thanks for clarifying natasha. If mr cancer brings it up, then I will follow your suggestions (ask him about it, tell him to stop torturing himself). IP: Logged |
Swerve
unregistered
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posted August 09, 2004 06:41 PM
Purplezen, try to think of a perfect day that would sum up the general energies, memories and connections that you two have shared. Lead him by the hand through a day of loving affection that defines your relationship with all the good feelings it brings out in both of you. Make him feel that this part of his life is secure and happy, re-affirming your feelings for him until he gushes. Just let him know there is some wonderful shelter he can run to if his personal storms threaten to overwhelm him.He won't forget this, believe me.
Swerve
IP: Logged |
purplezen
unregistered
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posted August 09, 2004 08:09 PM
thanks swerve, that sounds like a good idea. IP: Logged |
purplezen
unregistered
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posted August 10, 2004 01:02 PM
Last night mr cancer called me and asked me to come over. we played scrabble. I went to give him a kiss and he pulled away. i said "you dont like me anymore, do you?" and he said "sarah, i love hanging out with you and i care about you, but I just dont want a relationship right now." so I was mad and i threw a muffin at him, and he laughed and gave me a big hug. I didnt even cry. I wasnt surprised, because we havent made out or anything in over 2 weeks, and he has been acting different. I asked him why, and if there was someone else, and he said "there is nobody else. I just feel like I need to get my life sorted out, i have so much on my plate, and I dont want to be a bad boyfriend to you. i need to be a good friend to you first of all. i dont want to hurt you in the end, and i know if we kept on doing what we were doing that it would end badly. i know the next person i'm with i am not going to marry." and I said "I care about you, but it will be hard to be your friend." he said "i feel like you are the only real friend that I have right now. we can confide in eachother and we always have a good time. i promise i will make an effort with you if you will try to be my friend too." I said "I'm afraid I will never hear from you again." and he said he will call me tomorrow. he gave me another hug. a REAL hug, I could feel his head against mine, maybe he was smelling my hair. Today I cried. last night it didnt seem real. I think we both handled it pretty well. we'll see if he calls me tonite like he said he would. i think we might be able to be friends because we have so much in common, but it will take some effort. we'll see. IP: Logged | |
Lindaland
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