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Author Topic:   Astrology and Social Awkwardness
Everlong
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posted August 22, 2004 11:08 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
So, I'm wondering if anyone can help me here: what planetary aspects/placements usually indicate someone that was obviously absent when social skills were being passed out? Someone that finds it hard to be understood, but mostly because they make it hard for themselves to be understood? Basically indications of someone who would be shy and quiet, nervous when speaking in front of others.

Me, for example =/.

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"Out of your depth or not, it's up to you whether you sink or swim."

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Gemini Nymph
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posted August 22, 2004 11:25 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
All the mutable signs can produce nervousness and awkardness if placed or aspected in a difficult way. Also look at Sun, Merc and Mars aspects - squares are sometime problematic, and conjunctions with Saturn can be miseribly oppressive (trust me, I know, I've got a tons of squares and also I have Saturn conjunct Venus). Badly aspected Uranus too can cause strange anxieties, and badly aspected Neptune can cause irrational phobias. A lack of outgoing signs, like fire or fixed signs can also cause someone to be shy and lack confidence.

I have a lot of aspects in my chart that accounts for my own social anxieties and shyness, like Virgo Pluto oppo Pisces moon (completed by a Gemini Sun/Merc for a troublesome t-square). My Merc/Sun is also squared my Virgo ASC (the shyest ASC of them all). I also lack fire signs (all I have is a Neptune fire singleton and Chiron in Aries). I have an outgoing Mars, thankfully (in Aqua) but it's placed in an introverted, submissive house (6th), so stepping up and taking charge isn't my forte. I can be a leader (thanks to Pluto and Uranus in the first house and Sun/Merc in 10th), but I really prefer not to. I have had to learn to speak up for myself - which being a Gemimi I learned to do well. But as a child I was painfully shy, awkward and withdrawn. I still get very nervous in social settings and tend to avoid new or stress social encounters.

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Everlong
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posted August 22, 2004 11:39 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Well... my Mercury and Mars square each other, and my Moon squares both my Neptune and my Uranus. Hmm. I don't have any fire in my chart at all, but I do have five fixed signs. It's odd, I have a Gemini Asc, you would think I would be a bit more talkative =). My Mars is also in a pretty introverted house, the 12th house.

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"Out of your depth or not, it's up to you whether you sink or swim."

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astro junkie
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posted August 22, 2004 11:47 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I don't know why, I just want to say, in strictly a Natal chart, Cancer Opp Saturn in any way brings out these awkward characters at the martini bar. Saturn = lots of melancholy, you get down on yourself.

And then there's seeing the world either going too fast or too slow, or some combination of both, but I don't know where you stand with that.

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Everlong
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posted August 22, 2004 11:55 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hmm, well, I don't have any Cancer in my chart, but I have a Capricorn Saturn that squares my Libra Moon, dunno if that could be another indication?

The world seems to go a bit fast for me. It's incredible that in two and a half years I'll be out and on my own.

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sthenri
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posted August 23, 2004 10:22 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Lack of fire will make you think before speaking, Mars in Virgo or Capricorn may cause one to be very picky, Mars in Scorpio or the 8th is considerate. Lots of fire in a chart will make a person speak often, but that could hide deeper insecurities.

All signs are insecure, some just hide it better than others. I find Virgo women to be very insecure when younger, luckily they are wonderful to know when they express themselves.

Natasha
Taurus

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Gemini Nymph
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posted August 23, 2004 12:29 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Yes all signs have their own insecurities and cope with them differently. However, it's pretty widely accepted, and backed by evidence, that mutable signs are far more suspectible to nervousness and anxiety, especially to the extent of it being debilitating, causing health problems and beinga factor in more serious disorders. These are the most receptive and sensitive signs to "exterior input," regardless to how introverted or extroverted they may be otherwise, and therefore are more affected by stress. If the native doesn't learn how to cope with these stresses, one way or the other, the consequences can be very negative: health problems, psychological problems, self-esteem issues, depression and so forth. This is often thought to be even more so with the Mercurial signs, Gemini and Virgo.

Gemini ASC, Sun, Merc and Mars is often noted for being suspectable to nervous exhaustion and anxiety disorders, as well as stress-related problems that may affect the lungs (like asthma).

Virgo ASC, Sun, Merc and Mars is thought also to be vulnerable to nervous exhaustion, as will as stress-related problems involving the digestive sytem (like ulcers).

These and other mutable placements may also be related to social anxiety disorders, sensory hypersensitivity (like to light, sound, "vibrations" from other people, etc.), learning disabilities like dyslexia and ADD, and neurolgoical disorders that inhibit a person's social interactions like autism.

I'm a good example of this: I have a preponderence of mutable signs, many of which are difficultly aspected, and I have Asperger's Syndrome, a form of high-functioning autism that effects social interactions among other things and that borders on dyslexia. Traits of AS also includes sensory hypersensitivity, hypersensitivity to stress and change and ( due to growing up in a environment that wasn't forgiving of my neurological "quirks") a lot of social anxiety and self-esteem problems (not to mention whopping, ***-kicking depression).

Everlong, you've mention having social anxiety here before: are you getting therapy, or have you considered it? If it's so bad that you feel that it's holding you back, you really should seek help. there's no reason to accept that you have to live like this. there's even very effective meds now available (like Zoloft - I've been on that stuff) that can help immensely with coping with social anxiety and get you over the "hump" so to speak in terms of coping with it.

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hooked
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posted August 23, 2004 02:52 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
shoot - I'm a pisces with mercury in aquarius. No one ever knows what the heck I'm talking about. I just sound confused all the time. I can't express my thoughts in an orderly fashion lol. Or I really am confused, one of the two

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LibraSparkle
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posted August 23, 2004 03:31 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
My dad is super awkward. People always comment on it after they've met him. Even I feel awkward around him sometimes.

Here's his chart: http://www.astro.com/cgi/showgif.cgi?lang=e&gif=achart_inrfile5bYa0u-u1085186409.70058.15750.gif&res=63&va=

Maybe it can be of some help

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scorpbaby
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posted August 23, 2004 04:29 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I have saturn conjunct sun,merc,pluto opposite my moon. Uranus is part of a Tsquare in my chart square the sun and moon. Only 1 Fire sign. I have tons of fixed planets in my chart and still very shy.

I also have horrible anxiety in public when I'm alone. I get shaky and figidty, it's embarassing. I'm at college so it's even worse. I've already felt like I was having a nervous breakdown and I've only been at school for 2 days!

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sthenri
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posted August 23, 2004 05:43 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
About school..Scorpbabe, and others at school, have you tried listening to a walkman or to a portable music player while at school, in between classes? That will really help your mood as it drowns out the loud noises around you that make you nervous. The body cannot process that much noise at once.

I have found when I am listening to calming music, my strength returns and I can handle almost anything. Music is how I got through the noise factor in my univeristy and high school. They were huge and very noisy.

It's a medical fact that "noise" causes physical reponses in our bodies, and these repeated responses damage our senses. Noise is disturbing.

Take Care,
Natasha
Taurus

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Kat
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posted August 23, 2004 05:51 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Sounds like me!
I'm much less shy than I used to be. Basically, I can approach anyone now. Yet I'm still convinced people don't like me and I find it difficult just relaxing and having a fun time - so when I'm in that type of situation I'm lost.

July 11, 1963 7:53AM Cleveland, OH EST

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Everlong
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posted August 23, 2004 07:20 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I was looking at your dad's chart LibraSparkle, and we share a couple of things- both our Moons are squaring our Saturns, our Mars and Jupiters are both in conjunctions in the 12th house. Dunno if that would exactly indicate awkwardness?

I'm a Pisces with an Aquarius Mercury too, hooked, heh, yeah, it is hard to speak straight.

Scorpbaby, exactly! I get so shaky and my neck won't move right and yeah. Maybe Gemini Nymph is right, I should see a psychologist. That's amazing Gemini Nymph, my only mutable signs are my Piscean Sun and Gemini Asc, but I had bad asthma when I was younger too. Gahh, astrology's incredible.

Sthenri, it would be a bit difficult for me to listen to my walkman in between classes, although I would love to, because music does calm me down, and my school is really crowded and loud. I only get 7 mins in between classes in which I have to race from class to class since the campus is spread out and go to my locker and the bathroom and all of that. I could try listening to it during lunch.

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"Out of your depth or not, it's up to you whether you sink or swim."

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Aquarian Girl
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posted August 24, 2004 07:25 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I can be really awkward too, but I'm strange... at times I can be the most charming, most outgoing person you could know and other times I'm almost paralyzed by how uncomfortable and self-conscious I feel.

I have saturn square neptune, and according to astro.com this can indicate "free-floating anxiety"...

I really hate the duality, I wish I was either one way or the other.

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astro junkie
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posted August 24, 2004 07:51 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I know, but maybe that's not the problem. Maybe you've placed an expectation on yourself that it must be defined in a finite manner.

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scorpbaby
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posted August 24, 2004 11:52 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Ok I tried something new today when I walked to class. Sometimes I just sing the lyrics of a song in my head so I can stay focused, it makes me less nervous when I'm walking around alone. Today I've been counting my steps! It's been working so far.

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Everlong
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posted August 24, 2004 03:34 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Huh, counting your steps? That actually seems like something that would work for me too scorpbaby, it would keep me from thinking about things that trigger the anxiety. Hey, what's your birth info? I wanna see if we have more similarities in our charts, this is interesting.

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"Out of your depth or not, it's up to you whether you sink or swim."

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LibraSparkle
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posted August 24, 2004 03:56 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I've learned that anxiety is a state of mine. You have complete control over your anxiety. The things you fear the most, or are most anxious about should be faced.

Gotta battle those demons. Can't let them take you over.

I had a lot of anxiety as a teen. I had panic attacks pretty often. When I was about 24 my husband and I entered into marital counselling and I learned how to deal with panic attacks with out medication.

You would be suprised how much just telling yourself that the attack's going to happen, it's going to be ok... it's going to pass can help.

See, my big problem was fighting them. I really thought I was going crazy when they would hit me. It was like everything outside was spinning around so fast, I couldn't grasp it or keep up... which made me panic more and fight the attack. This only made them stronger and longer. Sometimes 30 minutes long. It was absolutely terrifying.

Once I stopped trying to fight them, they got much milder, and eventually went pretty much away.

I still have anxiety from time to time, especially when it comes to money. I don't have panic attacks anymore.

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scorpbaby
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posted August 24, 2004 05:19 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hey Everlong,
I'm glad I could help you. My chart and birth info is on the Practice, Practice thread.
Yea I just started counting my steps today, and its worked all day. I've lost my count a lot, but it didn't really matter. I just needed something to focus on.
I don't know if you've ever done Yoga before, but it teaches different breathing methods. I get short of breath when I'm nervous so I've been doing my yoga breathing to calm me. If your not familiar with yoga techniques try this~
Take a deep deep breath, breathing in through your nose, let your stomach expand out, like a baloon filled with air. Then breath out through your mouth and release the air from your stomach. So your stomach is deflated. Sorry if it sounds complicated, my yoga instructor showed us how to do it, this is the best I can describe it.
This has helped me the most when Im nervous, sometimes I forget to do it though. You can count each breath, breathe in for 4 sec. breathe out for 4.
It's weird because I'm not an unsocial person, I go to parties and am fine meeting new people. I just get really strange anxiety when I'm alone in public. I'm ok when I'm w/ a friend or two.
Like Libra sparkle said it is all a state of mind. My mind is usually racing bc I'm nervous so I try to regain some structure thinking of numbers or whatever works.

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LibraSparkle
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posted August 24, 2004 05:33 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
It's about self talk

I used to count myself out of panic attacks too.

You don't have control over your feelings, but you do have control over your thoughts and actions. Taking control of your thoughts and actions will have an affect on your feelings.

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Phoenix Rising
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posted August 24, 2004 05:38 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I have this problem too, no one can ever peg me as a leo at first meeting, I come across very Un-leo, I am shy and get sick at the thought of having to speak in front of a group, although I do love attention. I am a scorpio asc and virgo moon. People find me more leo once they get to know me, I'm guessing my asc hides me well. I just wish I wasn't so painfully shy. I have lived here for 13 and have no friends. I make a ton online though, I rarely leave my house other than for work or with my hsband.

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LibraSparkle
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posted August 24, 2004 05:42 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I posted this article in H&H about anxiety a while ago:
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum3/HTML/000628.html

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DepTaurus
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posted July 24, 2009 04:01 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for DepTaurus     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
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XzaultaX
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posted April 19, 2016 11:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for XzaultaX     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
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Randall
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posted April 20, 2016 01:26 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
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