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Author Topic:   Fire & Air
Heart&Soul
unregistered
posted October 11, 2004 02:49 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
It's no secret how they are attracted to each other. And there is much in common with both.
But in romantic relationships the problem of detatchment vs attatchment always seem to rear its head eventually.

Fire is direct, Air indirect.
Both need freedom, yet Air needs emotional detatchment in order to feel free, whereas Fire seems to be filled and fueled by emotional sharing, which gives them the security of then going on to their own adventures.

As Fire myself, if I become detatched it is a warning sign.....you're losing me.
For it is not in my nature to be detatched in any way. If I become detatched emotionally, it is because the Air's cold and distant response has smouldered my Fire once too often and I feel there is no point anymore in risking more rejectment and pain in opening my heart.


This doesn't mean Fire needs the relationship to be all-consuming. Independence of Spirit is essential to us, just as it is with Air.

Fire will give Air the space it needs to breathe.......but needs interaction as well to flourish (Air fanning the flame). There needs to be this awareness of give and take. Fire will give and give.......but when they finally withdraw is the time to worry. Air may take this as a sigh of relief when it happens, thinking everything is ok, for they are finally getting what they have believed they have wanted all along, oblivious that Fire is really receding from the relationship.

Any thoughts on this?

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Gemini Nymph
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posted October 11, 2004 04:07 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Air indirect? LOL. I doubt anyone here who's had to endure my impatience and stingingly forthright analyses would claim I'm indirect. And I have a nebulous Pisces moon in my predominantly air mix to boot.

I think, but could be wrong, what you're thinking is that air sign get off track easily. We all lack clear direction because our inclination to mentally explore and be independant of other influences. Fire signs have more direction, but usually it's just straight ahead, damn the torpedos. Air signs will meander more, exploring offshoots, tangents and other possiblities. Another thing is air signs are so independant, we often don't feel the need to explain ourselves to others. To some, we seem to lack direct communication in our relationships, but often it's not because we can't, we just don't see the need to explain everything out in detail. It's one of the drawbacks of being an air person.

I see Fire-Air interaction like this: Fire feeds on air (oxygen), which can be a healthy thing or a codependant, parasitic thing, depanding on the individuals involved. Fire needs some kind of fuel outside itself, and air doesn't. There's an inherent disparity between these two element's fundamental needs. So it can quickly turn into an one-way relationship, unless the Air person is more self-possessed and can resist being completely consumed by the Fire person. the air person's natural route of self-preservation is detachment.

Fire people, because they are so impulsive, impatience, action-oriented, and often have the listening skills of a 2 year old toddler, tend not to realize their emotional neediness and how it drains other people. Unless they have strong aspects in their charts to make them sit down and be introspective, they'll need a little help from others to learn about themselves and how not to be such a parasite upon other people. A smart, self-possessed Air person can teach them that. In fact, an Air person is mostly likely to have success getting through to an overly dependent fire sign than anyone else. When the fire person gets too clingly and needy, the air person can just cut them off. Cold, yes, but quite effective. Self possessed air people are far more resistent to being sucked dry than other types, so the Fire sign will be force to either compromise or get out of the relationship and find another soul to leech off of. Once the Fire sign learns to compromise and become aware of their neediness, they are on the path to becoming self-possessed themselves. So instead of just burning out their partners, they can give back to the relationship with warmth, light and energy, all of which an air sign would greatly benefit from.

Hence a healthy fire-air relationship could evolve to where the two are mutually beneficial for one another: the air inspires the more emotionally dependant fire, and fire warms the more emotionally detached air. At least that's how my better fire-air friendships have all panned out.


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Heart&Soul
unregistered
posted October 11, 2004 07:53 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi Gemini Nymph

I meant emotionally indirect. There's no question that they are very direct communicatively in most all other areas. Was in a hurry, so guess I should have clarified that.

I can see what you are saying. Although the parasite analogy seems a bit much. Guess that would apply to less evolved Fire who have become accustomed to co-dependant relationship through a dysfunctional upbringing perhaps.

I wish I had more time now to express my thoughts. But after writing this earlier I wished I had expressed more of what a benefitial relationship Fire/Air is as well.
You always hear of how Air fans Fire and that is true. We benefit greatly by the inspiration of air's breath. Our Fire shines brighter and so our own selves burn brightly for others along our way.

But what about Fire to Air?
Perhaps think of a warm summer breeze.
The heat of Fire inspires Air as well, warming its currents so that along its own way, it may fill others with the warmth it has been lifted with. (as Air likes to share inspiration with others just as much).

Compromise is needed of course both ways. Just as Fire cannot expect Air to change its essential self, Air cannot expect that of Fire either. Accepting each for their own true selves and learning from each other can make it a blissful union that has so much potential for their own individual growth. Fire shouldn't expect more than Air can give. Just as Air shouldn't expect Fire to be the only giver. When they meet each other half way it can be Heaven.


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astro junkie
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posted October 11, 2004 10:15 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm gonna lean towards Gem Nymph here because there are Air signs who can be emotionally direct, such as a Moon in Cancer in the 3rd House. I'll even agree with the word "parasites"

But when I thought back to my Fire relationships, I couldn't think of one Fire Sign in the Sun. Only if they had an Asc Fire. Hmmm.... why do you think that would be? Now ya got me thinkin'.

------------------
... it's better to light a candle than curse the darkness

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Archer
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posted October 12, 2004 03:13 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
air acts fule to fire.
sag is most compiatble with air signs.

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zoso
Newflake

Posts: 15
From: Reno, Nv
Registered: Nov 2009

posted October 12, 2004 04:10 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for zoso     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Wow. I'd like to think that, too, but I feel like bursting into a wildfire and spreading up and down the hillsides whenever I feel a breeze.

Unfortunately, the wind dies down and I'm left smoldering in my own ashes. Ouch.

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lalalinda
Moderator

Posts: 1120
From: nevada
Registered: Apr 2009

posted October 12, 2004 05:19 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for lalalinda     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Heart and Soul,

What a well thought out piece. It makes perfect sense to me. The more detatched I become the closer to the door I get.

Fires gift is to inspire, hence passion

Airs gift is to intellectualize or understand while remaining unbiased.

Fire is personal while air is impersonal.
didn't you just say that??

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aqua
Newflake

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From:
Registered: Oct 2009

posted October 12, 2004 10:07 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for aqua     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
why not take it the other way!
fire burns with the help of air,if air's not there it extinguishes!

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Heart&Soul
unregistered
posted October 12, 2004 10:32 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
hehe, zoso, I know that feeling well, hence my original post. Ouch!
The worst of it is Air may come off quite differently in the beginning......and then cut you off cold, which can be misleading, and therefore shocking and devestating when it happens.

Although, I hate generalizations (like parasite for instance ) , for everyone's more complex then that. And everyone has their different tale and way of being.
Gemini Nympth, you said, "depending on the individuals involved", and I appreciate your diplomacy there.

Obviously there are qualities that they admire and yearn for in each other, which is why there is attraction in the first place and also such potential for growth. As long as the individual is humble enough to be open to learn more about themselves in the process. Open to exploration and change. (hey, Archer, maybe because Sag is mutable, so more likely to be that way?)

"Fire needs some kind of fuel outside of itself, and air doesn't." I can see that.
But the fuel is found in many different ways and not necessarily needed from other people, I don't think. A book, a song, an idea.....the inspiration could be found most anywhere, anytime.

I didn't mean to imply here that Air signs are cold-hearted. Just because they may have difficulty with intimacy and expressing their feelings, doesn't mean that they don't have them. They can run very deeply, just as with anyone else. They may be attracted to Fire for a mysterious yearning for such intimacy, which they might not even understand. And Fire, admiring Air's ability to detatch, and not be consumed with their passion, secretly yearns for that ability of control.

(sorry to dwell on the word, lol) Parasite is something that feeds off of something else exclusively and doesn't give anything back. I don't think you could ever deny Fire's generosity of Love and Spirit.
They are willing to Give their All for Love......and that's not a terrible thing is it? Leo/Aquarius can be the most challenging combination, for this reason, I think......unless Leo opens to learning the gifts one receives spiritually by giving without thought of receiving.....
and that Aquarius learns to accept Leo's generosity as merely an expression of their Love and not necessarily of need.
Leos just need to give. That's how they love.

When you truly Love for real, you are Loving the person for who they are......not who you want them to be. If the two are understanding and accepting of how each other express their Love differently......realizing that it is just how it is, not necessarily better or worse, then there are no limits to what can Be.

lalalinda~ "the more detatched I become the closer to the door I get".
Yes, there is no sense in grasping for anything in this world. If it was meant to happen, it will, I believe.

Most important is to not let Love destract us off of our own path. I've been guilty of that myself......of which I'm not proud of. The entire process was probably the most painful of my life, but I learned much from it and so give thanks for it, even for the pain.



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pidaua
Knowflake

Posts: 67
From: Back in AZ with Bear the Leo
Registered: Apr 2009

posted October 12, 2004 02:43 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for pidaua     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Heart and Soul, I had to edit this because I kept referring to you as heart and song - like heart song..LOL

I also took issue with the "Parasite" analogy, but that may also be because I am a fire sign or that I don't believe that any one sign is parasitic. We all have traits that others may view as being self-absorbed, lost in ones world or down right selfish, but one persons self-absorbtion is another persons introspection.

I have always had air-sign friends (even though I am severely lacking in the air planets- I possess only a singleton in Libra (uranus). I have also dated my fair share of air sign men.

I find them to be intellectually stimulating, direct (as you said with their questions) and emotionally introspective. They are not indirect emotionally, but they tend to analyze their feelings and discuss them in a manner that would make another feel cold. Personally, I find it refreshing (especially as a Sag) because we do not have to get all tangled in the emotional quagmire that seems to ensue when one dates a water sign (sorry water peeps, but that is just my fire sun / fire moon's way of thinking). What I mean by that is, although I am very comfortable in my passion, my anger, my fear...I am not entirely comfortable in the emotional intimacy department nor do I care to share all the ins and outs of my private emotional wonderland.

Blame it on Pluto in the first house or that Uranus singleton in the 1st, but I prefer to discuss emotional issues, to learn and move on - yet there is still that emotional tone to my words.

My Taurus is also very emotional, but guarded. He has taught me how to cuddle, which I realized I had always loved and wanted, but needed the right person.

I will admit that he does see me as "high strung" at times and wonders why I must analyze everything or have to find an answer to everything, but that is just my Archer nature. LOL..I wonder why he DOESN'T lol...

I have never been accused of being emotionally draining on a person, mainly because I go my own way. Like you Heart and Soul, when I do become very detached, that means I am already gone- when I no longer wonder about the other person or ask how they are doing - well that is because I have found another interest (not necessarily another person).

Does that make more sense?

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Archer
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posted October 12, 2004 10:47 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
hi aqua. fire bruns without air too. fire is just the radiation emitted when some fission or fusion happens.
...fire burns without air too...

------------------
Neerav

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aqua
Newflake

Posts: 0
From:
Registered: Oct 2009

posted October 14, 2004 02:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for aqua     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
oh! so u mean fire may not always go well with air.is it?

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aries-chick
unregistered
posted October 15, 2004 01:18 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
hmm This is interesting. I'm dating a Libra at the moment. He only has one fire sign in his chart and I have no air in mine. Apart from that, we both have lots of earth, mainly cappy in our charts. I'm not sure why but I've never felt like he was being detached at all. He's very involved, he always tells me he loves me and says sweet things like that.

I've met geminis before who were more emotionally detached. I still like them heaps though, their lots of fun. The most detached i found were aqua guys. But I don't really think all air signs are detached. I mean the libra I'm with at the moment isn't at all.

I can deffinetly see how air would fuel fire though. I've always felt a lot more hyper and happier and kinda energetic arround ona my gemini friends, who I'm closer to.

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LeylaLeFay
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posted October 15, 2004 03:43 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I've done the Fire/Air dance many a time. I think I know exactly the phenomina Heart and Soul is talking about. I edited this and sent it to a fire male I was keeping confused. It was the only way I could communicate my emotions.

Aries/Aquarius

These two can have a glorious time together if Aries could understand one thing. When Aquarius laughs it's because she feels very sad. When she cries it's because she feels very happy.

Once you catch on to this important game she plays you'll have an easier time with all her other tricks. I'm referring to the tricks the Water Bearer uses to keep someone from guessing she really cares about them.

Also the tricks she uses when the've already guessed and she doesn't want them to find out how deeply she cares. And don't leave out the tricks she uses when she knows she's helplessly in love and is still trying to convince herself she can switch it back to friendship again before it's too late.

If your sitting up at night because the Aquarian you want is treating you with (calculated) detatchment, acting as though you totally turn her off (when in reality she's so turned on she's forgotten what year it is) then you should memorize a few lines from a poem that exposes this type of situation:

I must go now
don't hold me with your eyes
and reach your heart across the room like that
or my own will break
love you? Of course I love you.
that's why I have to go...
before you know how much.

If you like games she's more fun than a stack of crossword puzzles and a trunk full of poker chips. But there's a catch here. Aries only likes games when the other player lets him win.

The average Aries man falls in love impetuously and fully and he demands an immediate response. If he doesn't get it in a short time -a very short time- his self defense mechanism against being hurt takes over and he tells himself "Who needs her?"

He does need her, perhaps very much, but he's not going to risk unrequited love if he can help it.

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