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Author Topic:   Planets, Signs & Houses of Worry
astro junkie
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posted October 29, 2004 10:10 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I just realized that of all the Signs that makes one worry more, I have a lot, including House placements. One in Cancer, two in Virgo, two in Capricorn, three in Scorpio to add a little paranoia & obsession, and Chiron in Pisces.

Houses - Three in the 6th, four in the 4th including NN, two in the 10th including South Node.

People always think I'm comfortable around people, but I'm not. I'm totally not. Maybe it's my Sun in the 5th, or NN in Leo which covers up all this insecurity.

But also, it bothers me so much, sometimes when I'm trying to get out and meet new people, I even ask myself if I should be low-profile and demure, or let the other side come out. Either way, the guy who ends up liking me always ends up with something he wasn't betting on ...

I'm not doing it on purpose, and really cannot control what others think, but maybe guys feel disillusioned about me after a few months because of this. If they think I'm demure, then my stronger side comes out, it takes them for a loop. Same if I come across as Miss Sociable first, and then close myself off more.

Right now, I'm trying to envision a cuddly teddy bear guy, but I've never been one of those girls who goes after a guy strategically. Everything I do is sort of out of intuition, but I have no idea how to "land" a man.

It seems to me that everyone has strong points as well as a vulnerable side, but for some reason, they'll still land the guy. I'll see long-term relationships where the woman is sloppy, doesn't know how to cook, is fake in public - yet she's got a guy who doesn't b!tch to her about any of it. It's strange to me. Seems like after a while, all the guys I date start b!tching about something, as if I've somehow invited their ultimatums.

Sometimes I'll see a woman being quiet and demure, and no one bothers her, just accept her being that way. If I end up going out like that, complete strangers, one after another, will come up to me and say, "Why are you so quiet? Why don't you smile more?" And that's like the first thing they'll say, and the last thing they'll say before walking away.

What am I missing? Should I just move to the North Pole and build myself a little Igloo and hybernate all year?

Well, I'm really trying not to overthink this ... just that even on the rare occassion when I'm relaxed with myself, I'll still get the same reaction from people.

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Gemini Nymph
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posted October 29, 2004 10:41 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Cancer and Virgo are the most common worryworts, and this carries over to their respective houses, 4th and 6th. It certainly would seem that you have a challenge on your hands here.

I'm a worry wort too, but that's due to having a mutable Sun square a mutable moon - mutable squares can caused tons of anxiety and worry, more so when they involve ones Sun and moon (and I've one involving both! yeehaw!) so don't think you alone in this worry cesspool hell with your Cancer-Virgo troubles.

Things that can cause people to see you differently than you really are include Sun and Jupiter placements, especially if they are aspected to your ASC, 1st house or a rising planet. Squares, like I have (Sun squaring ASC and Pluto rising) REALLY confuse people and make them get totally wrong impressions of the people right off the bat. Sun or Jupiter in 3rd and 5th also give off the appearence that you're jovial and confident even if you're not underneath - i have Jupiter in the 3rd and people always think I'm living the high life or something without a care in the world. LOL. Kill me now. Please.

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astro junkie
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posted October 29, 2004 11:38 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I know ... sometimes it just feels so overwhelming. They say that supposedly, you'll only be given as much as you can handle in life. But I've NEVER EVER seen any truth to this. The only time the overload gets lightened is when I make a conscious decision to make it so, and then, consciously act to alter it - which usually means, I'm a lazy bum - an all or nothing kind of thing.

My Jupiter in the 9th is Trine my Asc, sho'nuff.

I only have 2 Mutables. Then I have 4 Cardinal's, and 6 Fixed including Asc & NN. But whenever those stronger "leadership" qualities want to come out, I'll start to goof off after a while, like it becomes too much pressure to be consistent, and I've ALWAYS had trouble balancing work with a social life. It's either one all the way, or the other.

Also, if someone tries to pressure me too much about just about anything, the stronger qualities come out in the form of digging my heels in - STUBBORNNNN ...

I've seriously gotten to the point where I just want to live where there are no people or traffic, by the ocean. Sort of in a lucid, half-dream state. My Scorpio, Neptune & Pluto influences makes it totally do'able. Just won't make anyone ELSE happy.

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chrissymgreen
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posted November 01, 2004 05:42 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
oh, gloria, you can't move to the north pole. not unless you took your computer with you. i'd miss you here.

i didn't read through your initial post as thoroughly as i wanted (our network at work is down so i'm on a crappy old PC in the back photo studio and the screen is TINY - i guess i'm spoiled by the 22 inch flat monitors with our macs), so i'm only responding to one aspect of what you wrote. it caught my eye.

i don't think relationships come easy to me, either. i wonder sometimes if i don't come off the wrong way. i wonder if i am just (usually) attracted to the *wrong* types. the ones that are wrong for me.

but anyway, you said:

"People always think I'm comfortable around people, but I'm not. I'm totally not."

i think you are right, your 5th house LIBRA sun must have something to do with this (in addition to the other things you mentioned). my ascendant's libra, and i know just how you feel. the hard aspects my sun and moon makes to my pluto, in addition to my capricorn mars, my 8th house saturn, amongst other things makes it REALLY hard for me to relate to people after the initial pleasantries are exchanged. my libra AC is so sociable. so friendly. but i'm not internally like that at all.

ANYWAY, what i really wanted to mention was in response to how you said relationships are hard for you sometimes. that you see other women in relationships and you think, "Jeez, what the crap?" i know this because i think these things, myself.

so my point is this: i have no planets in my 7th house. i think sometimes my ability to so easily alienate myself from a relationship and from even starting one up to begin with has something to do with this...at least in part. i wanted to mention this to you just in case you also have no planets in the 7th. i dont think you mentioned that you did. this might be pertinent, perhaps. (ooh, i love alliteration - pertinent, perhaps...possibly? ok, enough, already.)


c

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moonshine
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posted November 01, 2004 06:36 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I am a complete worrier, what with my 3 main signs in virgo, pisces and cancer! Ive been known to get myself worked up quite a bit.

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purple_scorp
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posted November 01, 2004 07:19 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
hey all,

I liken relationships to breastfeeding. Both are said to be seemingly natural and expected to come naturally to everyone.

WRONG!!! Both are hard work and you get no instruction in how to do either until it's too late and you're smack bang in the middle and trying to figure how to cope.

Really, how many people work on their relationships? Compare it to your profession. We all go and do professional development to help further our career or to learn about new areas but how many people put this much energy into their relationships? Not many, I would guess.

Love is supposed to be something that comes naturally and requires no effort. Sorry, but once the honeymoon period is over, love is hard work - and you will get out of it, what you put into it.

gloria I can feel your frustration. In fact, I think I am living a similar frustration, right at the moment. Men seem to run from me. Or maybe it's because I am a poor judge of character. I once sat around a table with a few girlfriends and I said that I thought I was lousy in relationships. And one by one, they explained how I was one of the most kindest and generous friends that anybody could ever have. They reassured me, "You are not lousy in relationships". And I concluded that perhaps I am just lousy in picking the right man.

So, I wonder if perhaps I am meant to be alone. And when I say this to my friends, they say, oh, no....you are not meant to be alone. So what the *&^! then???

Gloria, from what I've seen of you here, you are a very bright and intelligent person. It is hard to understand why you have so much trouble landing a man. Hmm, a bit more on this in a sec.

I recently read a book called, "How to raise your spirited child". And it explained how some people are introverts and some extraverts. And it listed characteristics of each type and the problems you'd encounter if the parent was the opposite type to the child.

That was very enlightening for me, because I'd never really thought about the interaction before. I used to be an introvert and still display many of those characteristics. However, I have moved toward some of the extravert characteristics, simply from necessity, from being a single parent. I am forced to be the one that interacts because there is no-one else to do the job.

Interestingly, both types re-energise in different ways. Introverts like to go into solitude and have "me" time and extraverts like to socialise with friends and get their energy from that. Gloria, you sound like an introvert that is trying to mix in an extravert's world. It is possible to do so, there just needs to be a clear understanding and respect for each type's requirements.

I wonder then Gloria, if you have trouble landing a man for a similar reason to me. I think men run from me because I am a very independent person and that can intimidate some people. Also, I question a lot of things. Gloria, if your men had started b!tching to me, I would have been asking them questions about it. They would then have to examined themselves and if they didn't like what they saw, they would run. Or, some people are just not as spiritually evolved to be able to look at themselves in the first place, or are too lazy to do so.

I know I have really waffled in this post and that's because I feel as though I have so much to share with you, Gloria, but it is difficult to do so here. Is there a way that I can give you my email address without posting it here on the forum?

purple_scorp

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astro junkie
unregistered
posted November 01, 2004 09:46 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
That "Scorpio" ability to scare away the posers is definitely true for me, from my Mercury, Mars & Neptune in Scorpio in the 6th. Plus, I got really good at it on purpose in order to stunt my family members so they'd shut up and leave me the helll alone. It's like, LOOK! Here's what YOU look like, but you are just forcing them to look at themselves, and it's soooo scary for them to do that. Yup. I've become good at it, and it's a challenge for guys.

I like it when a guy "plays along", but is then successful at doing it back to me because it is an indirect way of bringing up issues that are hidden in a nonconfrontational way. Basically giving your partner the cue that they need to stop and notice something.

But it's possible that in doing that, they get the wrong impression, like I'm putting up an emotional wall, which I'm not. I'm learning to just relax more, not be so intense. Learning to accept and expect more.

Thanks, and yeah, go ahead and email me.

.gloria

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purple_scorp
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posted November 02, 2004 01:10 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
gloria,

email you where?

purple_scorp

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astro junkie
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posted November 02, 2004 04:27 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
**edited**

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moonshine
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posted November 02, 2004 05:59 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Astro junkie, you sound like a really cool, strong woman. Dont worry so much - it does sound obvious but your self-conciousness is whats making people react that way to you - a few years ago I was feeling very depressed and bumped into some friends in the street.. They were really nice and made me laugh and smile, despite my depression. All of a sudden one of the girls (a friends sister) pointed at me and said "she looks so unhappy" right in the middle of me laughing about something. I was stunned - I wasnt even feeling sad at that particular moment, although it was a constant feeling underneath. I didnt even know the girl that well, but now we're friends. She's bold (of course!), kind and very intuitive. So you see, people can tell and react on your feelings unconciously even if you're not aware so dont try to decide how you're going to be beforehand, it doesnt work. I think you sound great so maybe you dont need to play such games to find a man...? Am I wrong? Obviously I dont know you very well, so if i am saying the wrong things then Im sorry.

BTW: I agree with your point about ****** people still managing to find love. I dont know how they do it either.

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astro junkie
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posted November 02, 2004 06:43 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thank you moonshine. Your words mean a lot.

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