posted November 09, 2004 05:39 PM              

Dear Breakup Girl,

I have a problem with not wanting to hurt anyone, even at my own expense. I know I must bite the bullet and break off clean rather than drag/lead on a relationship after it's gone sour. I become what the girl wants me to be and when I want to be myself she thinks I'm going psycho when in reality I was just a facade to her in the first place. I guess I just have to learn to be myself first and find a girl who likes me for me and not who they want me to be. In a way I guess I don't really have a question, I just needed to talk. Thanks BG. I really appreciate your ears.

Love,
A Hopless Romantic at Purdue

P.S. I also am a classic case of "nice guys finish last." I don't drink or smoke (anything) and I'm waiting until I'm married to have sex.

I do have a question after all. All of my relationships have lasted over two years. I'm now trying to find one that I can be myself in but every woman I know says does this just before I ask them on a date. They give me a big hug and say,
"You are such a great FRIEND."
Sometimes I'm even told that I'm their best friend. Yet some seem to flirt with me anyway, but when I ask them on a date they are always busy. I have 100s of great female friends and not a single romantic one. Minus one clinging vine that I have to cut loose. We broke up four months ago and she still thinks we are going to get married. (I feel like Wayne in "Wayne's World" with Stacey.) My question is this. If a girl says "You are such a great friend," should I give up on a romantic relationship or do women just get kicks out of confusing men? Thanks again.

Solution is don't hug friends, confuses things,
at least that's how I see it
anyone else?
Natasha