posted November 23, 2004 11:36 PM              

Is this a subconcious way of getting space, or wanting to be close, this sudden attraction, or unattraction, or does Venus in Aries find itself suddenly changed?

Has anyone done this to you and how did you feel about it?
Is this insensitivity, or greed, or nature?

I put myself into positions where I am near someone I am attracted to, but subconciously, I am totally unaware of how I am bending my life towards that person. When I find out, I am angry and try and break it off for a while. I feel I must be detached, to be happy, but then I find myself bending again, it's not concious. I will find myself in the same neighbourhood, or eating a favourite food of this other person, and I don't like it.

Often I am not even attracted to this person for long, but I can't him out of my mind anyway, which makes me wonder, what am I feeling if it's not love and it's not attraction, yet it's so strong.

posted November 24, 2004 06:07 AM              

I think my personality is so full on, that if I act the way I really am straight away, most people either dislike me, or think I'm a fruitloop, or think they can take advantage of my niceness... or just want to rain on my parade for some reason, I don't know. It's bothered me a lot.

I've noticed if I adopt this aloof persona... still friendly... but just... I dunno... I guess I just turn the volume DOWN a bit on the vibe I give out... people respond much better.

I don't know if that's exactly the same thing you are talking about, but for me... that's how I've noticed people relate to me better. If I play a bit hard to get. If I'm too nice or too open, I get into trouble.

Of course with people I know well, I just be myself

posted November 24, 2004 07:30 AM            

Yup, yup, yup! That stuff happens to me all the time, some people are put off by my outgoing and somewhat strong personality at times. Usually the people who are put off by it are people who don't have the same amount of energy, the same 'oomph'' if you will. Or people who are too shy or afraid to be themselves in public. When I tone it down a bit, and spend more time one on one with them, that all seems to go away... but it's not the funnest thing to act differently just to get on with people better... (although I do it quite often, just for the waters to run smoothly, ya know?)

As far as being attracted/unattracted to those who ignore me, sometimes.... I guess it is a bit of an ego thing (leo moon 5th house), but I do find myself gravitating towards these people, almost like ''hey!! I'm actually pretty cool, give me a chance!'' It is a bit of a negative thing to waste positive energy on those who don't seem to gel with me, but man, an aqua sun just won't give it a rest when it comes to including everyone in their atmosphere.

I have actually ended up in relationships with people who 'ignored' me, a Gemini I worked with once seemed to think I was just a nutter, so I really ended up unconsciously trying really hard to get to know him, and to let him get to know me. He was a hard nut to crack, but it was the only thing that really held the relationship together, the challenge, the chase... Once I 'had' him, I was pretty bored and it didn't last very long. It was a learning experience, if nothing else; I learned that there needs to be a mutual give and take in all personal relationships, a respect for each as an individual, no reason to bother trying to make everyone like me... it's just not gonna happen. I still do get a bit bothered when people don't 'like' me, but I am coming to a higher understanding that it's not worth it to cry over, obviously some people just aren't meant to be in each others lives too deeply.

posted November 24, 2004 08:51 AM              

I am so dependent on that for work, I think it spills over into life. And I do have Uranus trine Sun, possibly I treat the world like friends. I do get hurt if I"m too open. I do open people up, but communication can hurt me easily, that is hearing the wrong thing.

So maybe I prefer the silent type for that reason and woo him. With someone quiet I always ASSUME the waters run deep, or that there is an emotion. Silly I know.

Thanks,
Natasha

posted November 24, 2004 02:58 PM              

What's going on in your life now? How's your family?

posted November 24, 2004 03:24 PM              

its like when I first met my friends, i was just coming out of the introspective period of my life...so I was still quiet, listened hard and never really spoke about my feelings....but they absolutely loved this. its like I was afforded all these attributes that I would never consider myself having....i was cool, calm, collected...and i got mad respect...but since then all I do is communicate and im so open about my feelings, i say anything that comes to mind, stuff poeple think but dont actually say ....so now im compared to phoebe...from friends

it really pi**es me off, cos I think its superficial. its just like sthenris saying..you assume the person has a lot to say and is deep just cos they are quiet. but im guilty of this cos I love people with mystery who are all quiet and

i figure its all about intrigue...especially if you are a lady, its highly attractive to all.

but it depends on what you want out of friendships. cos if you want to be respected or exalted (maybe too strong a word), then being mysterious is the way to go...but if all that doesnt matter to you and you just wanna connect with people, then whatever goes

posted November 24, 2004 05:36 PM              

Natasha -

I had that issue too, not too too long ago. And this is after, how many years of Oprah? And I'm a grown up girl, know a little about feminism. Why do I still have this issue??? I'm a goud darn modern woman DAMMIT !!

Well - it bothered me so much, I brought it up during an expensive counseling session. I just clear nearly kicked down the office door to announce, "I want everyone to like me!!"

posted November 24, 2004 06:43 PM              

I am still trying to get to that Point, I tend to be mysterious, so that when I am connecting, it's too much for the other person. At least that's how I see things right now. My 8th house moon is mysterious so that's just a part of me.

Connecting with others, my Cancer moon loves to do that. I go back and forth, sometimes needing mystery, but it's not mystery it's like music. There is a difference. Quiet, accepting love, is very Cancer.
Oh well, I can't explain this, everyone else is doing a good job though.

posted November 25, 2004 06:20 PM              

maybe its an aura thing, cos i have a libra friend who gets attention no matter what...but then shes always quiet and really soft sspoken

or maybe its the law of attract and repel...like when you really want something, you tend to push it away from you

but then with my libra friend, i know for fact that she wants attention and for people to call her first and all these things, it never shows on her face but she tells me it...everything she does is very controlled

and she gets it...

i really dont understand the world sometimes/...

i really try and be a person who doesnt play games and is honest both inside and out but it just sucks cos you have a much easier life when you play....no controversy, just going with the madding crowd

i give up, i really do...

posted November 25, 2004 07:05 PM              

quote:

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astro junkie
Moderator
Posts: 5751
From:
Registered: Nov 2003
posted November 25, 2004 06:28 PM
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Actually, I prefer to meditate and focus upon
the law of "repel/attract" in the opposite way.

The more you repel, the more you attract.

IP: Logged

moonbaby
Knowflake
Posts: 175
From: uk
Registered: Oct 2004
posted November 25, 2004 06:45 PM
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what do you mean aj?
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astro junkie
Moderator
Posts: 5751
From:
Registered: Nov 2003
posted November 25, 2004 06:48 PM
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I'm loaded for bear.

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posted November 26, 2004 01:06 PM              

quote:

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I have actually ended up in relationships with people who 'ignored' me

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You know Ghani, it's weird, but some of my most important friendships/relationships... we strongly repelled at first, and then came together later.

The funny thing, I've only put all this stuff together lately, I've spent years trying figure out why people are so weird around me. Honestly, I think it was some sort of planetary transit... cause all of a sudden the mood has changed within me and outside of me and I'm not quite sure why.

Natasha, you say it's 5th house thing? I have a 5th house Sun and Mars conjunct. I think it's the Mars energy projecting strongly on my personality. I come on too forcefully... in every expression.

I swear, only lately have I truly been able to reconcile in my mind and mean it, really truly mean it... that not everyone has to like me, and it's OK if they don't. Who cares? I did. I was in severe denial about it too. But I really did care.

Ooooh yes Moonshine... nothing makes me head for the hills worse than clingy, whiny, needy people... in friendships or relationships. I don't like sycophantic people either. They give me the creeps.