posted November 24, 2004 11:44 PM              

Or if you are a man, a rich woman's Boy Toy?
What is the incentive? Have you done this already, and if so how did the experience go. I know these are personal questions, but fantasy and imagination count. There would be lots of romance, but never marriage or children.

What makes a woman turn down the Mistress role? and what kind of man/woman requires a Mistress/Boy Toy, and a Wife/Husband?

posted November 25, 2004 12:18 AM            

If there were no emotions involved, she was cool with it (not behind her back)
and there was incentive (something that I wanted, it wouldn't be financial) probably

posted November 25, 2004 03:17 AM              

but if it was straight up cheating on his spouse then ...NYET

cos, how could I ever trust a relationship if I do such a thing

posted November 25, 2004 04:23 AM              

To fantazise... I'd take Friend, Mistress, Wife cenario..

So far my anwer for Mistress-proposals has been no. But I won't say never-ever. May be I just haven't been tempted enough?

I also don't see mistress as a 'guilty party'. All that 'how could you do that to some poor wife/husband...' Sorry, in but 9 out of 10 people who are willing to cheat, have developed that mindset even before they met a suitable candidate.

posted November 25, 2004 10:56 AM            

Although I must say, Natasha, that as for

quote:

---

no consequences, except emotional ones

---

posted November 25, 2004 12:29 PM              

It's more fun being a mistress. You get all the plus's from a relationship and none of the minuses. For example, you get:
1. All the sex you want
2. Money, gifts
3. Attention
4. Learn all the secrets without having to divuldge any of your own
5. Don't have to wash his dirty laundry

And no, I wouldn't want to be in the other shoe and wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

posted November 25, 2004 12:31 PM              

or play harp while I mmmmmmm with my beloved

posted November 25, 2004 12:49 PM            

Oh! To have choices!
To be free of others' feelings sometimes, and the consequences of selfish indulgences... The fantasies I could swallow up whole!
I'd have some great memories notched......

Yeah, you know what> I'd be the friend and lover... for sure. I'm sorta' that right now, anyway.. hubby does most of the 'holding together'.... Not fair, I know... but it depends where the line is drawn.

posted November 26, 2004 10:10 AM              

Pixie, if there was a harem, it wouldn't be secret, I think the idea of a Mistress is that it's long term, but not open, and the Mistress acts as a wife, with different responsibilities.

I can't see wanting to become another wife, with another title, I would melt down, get bored and scream a lot, unless I was entertained.

So I can see why Pixie would want a harem around, that way there is entertainment at least. Very much a fantasy role, but I imagine that men would want this more than women, and yet when I ask the question, men do not like it. Is this the truth? Men will not be in a triangle?

posted November 26, 2004 11:51 AM              

But in real life I think there would be too many moral, emotional, personal repercussions to make it worthwhile.

posted November 26, 2004 08:36 PM              

it's an alliance, that doesn't last, in the business world men do this-they make friends to make money. When a woman does this, she's a Mistress, but it's intimate, maybe more emotionally intimate than physical? What do men do with other men in business to gain favors, that's so different, they don't bond emotionally.

What are the benefits? Maybe it's more exciting, or maybe it's just because so many people want it so bad, the roles are a justification for acting out, this way, there is less guilt since there is another person to lean on.

That explains why there are so many more mistress roles in cultures where marriage to one person for life, is a tradition. Maybe it's a way for women and men to act out their fantasies without worrying the mortgage won't get paid if they make a suggestion?

If you were unhappy and you couldn't tell your wife, what would you do? And if that person you talked to felt that it was an intimate act, you may feel guilty enough about going to talk to someone else besides your wife that some sort of intimacy was available? Maybe some people don't make love to anyone else, but are emotionally intimate.

That kind of relationships exists all over the place, only some are more complicated than others, depending on what the Mistress or Boy Toy wanted. I could see how this could happen, but you are right it is cheating, I never said it wasn't.

But people do it anyway, and will, if we can only control ourselves, we still don't know what the people we love are capable of.

To love anyone is to accept, it's not easy, but that's why I am asking the question, I am possibly not the most emotional person about this subject, but that's because it's such a common situation.

MIstresses want to be there, but why do people need two? What I want to know is it cultural? Peer Pressure in the extreme?

Or is it personal? Is it ever really personal, and is love ever involved? And if a Mistress were to marry the Husband, would they live HEA
(Happily Ever After)

My theory is that people always seek out a triangle, unless they are guided some other way, it's cultural, not personal, instinct, but choice. If I had all the money in the world, I would be hard pressed NOT to have a Boy Toy.

So standards work differently in different worlds,
Do we seek out the world we want, or do we seek out the standards we want???

Can you really say you are following your moral standards, or that you will never break your own rules if you were to meet the most gorgeous man or woman of your dreams???

What then??
When is it okay, or when is it not okay?
And what about cultures where men have many wifes, how do the wifes feel, are they all in Mistress Status??

Is it all just a big competition? Most desired gets all the prizes??

I sometimes think prehistoric times, were more humane, you found your lover, and you killed competition. (I'm assuming).

I didn't choose this world, and it's not an emotional decision, it's always a financial status thing, so are most people saying they would prefer to be the one in control..

Let's ask this, who would want to be in the middle, the one managing everything
Where is the pride in that?
That's a woman's question, to a man.
Maybe your standards become your world, and by changing standards you change your world?

Of course that's an illusion, but we still have animal instincts.
If you don't want to cheat, let's hope your wife never gets fat, or bald, or disinterested. Let's hope your husband never starts snoring, getting fat and bald, drinking.

I have been propositoned many times all by married men, and I had the same question, how does this benefit me in anyway? I heard the same answer, it would make you happy. I don't see how that would be true, if it's short term, and I wouldn't want to be interested in anything else. If I am to sell my favors to the highest bidder wouldn't I want to be free for another richer and better looking man? Because aren't I being propositioned to become a prostitute? Is so where is my money, and jewels and car, why can't I have that now?

Why should I perform an act of love? Where there is no love inside of me,
I can tell you each man got very angry at my total lack of interest in love, happiness, and family.

I positively guarantee that each one of those married men thought it was in his best interest to make himself happy, so his family could be happy too, He thought of me as nothing more than a service, like a lube and oil change. Not once did he give me a personal thought, until I brought these points up. Each were willing to offer me money, jewelry, but only so much.

So I assume I am to have a preset amount?

We are living in that kind of society and I am impressed that I am a comodity, but actually all of us are commodities.

The things I want though, are invisible and even worse what I take I have to give back times ten. So I am always curious as to why anyone would offer me anything? These days I imagine God is testing me and the person in front of me is just a vessel.

So I say things like, Thank you, I see that you are an emotional person with lots of desires, did you have a dream that told you to choose me? I want to know exactly what the dream said so I know if these were instructions or if your subconcious is telling you to get laid.

I know that's a little strong, but I come across a lot of ******** and I intend to have a baby soon, and I am interviewing for the father. I may have to resort to physical acts to get what I want, but why is an act of love? What if instead of making love we captured those we wanted and put them in cages? Who decides this stuff anyway?

and I suppose it's a control power trip thing,
Wouldn't it be wonderful if people were capable of choosing who they want based on love?

Until then we will always have people cheating, because we all get old.

That said, I am a romantic at heart, but romance and marriage sometimes do not go together,
that's why the moral struggle.

Natasha