posted November 28, 2004 10:06 AM            

Yeah, Aries-Cancer square could cause you some difficulties in relating to these people, but at least you are asking questions, trying to come to a better understanding.

I'll try and answer these questions as I see them, as I am not a Cancerian myself, but have had many friends who were, and some of the points you have raised are valid, although possibly misenterpreted.

1. Yes, I believe they truly do mean what they say, but they have a hard time expressing their real feelings about things for fear of letting too much of themselves show. This, IMO, is not to be deceptive, but merely a self-protection mechanism.

2. I have not actually seen too many Cancerians use material gifts to buy affection, but perhaps depending on their aspects (maybe having a bit of earth, or even some Leo influences), this could be the case. Again, perhaps as another means of hiding serious feelings they are too self-conscious to show with emotion.

3. These people are ruled by the moon, the moon's effects on our planet can kind of explain this. The moon causes waves, tides, and in astrology symbolizes emotions. Cancerian people cannot help but be extremely effected by all the things that go on around them, and some of them do have that ''things always happen *to me*'' attitude. I truly don't believe they use guilt as emotional manipulation, I just feel they don't know how to express themselves as positively as they could, and others may get pulled into this orb of sometimes negative sentiment. I feel very much for these people... I cannot blame them for being so deeply hurt by a falling leaf.

4. Again, on this one, I'll have to blame emotions... Feelings rule these people, the mind may be brushed to the side at times, so therefore their actions are governed by the ''i feel this right now, I will act accordingly'' idea.

5. This one, I have never really noticed. The Cancerians I know are usually the wallflowers, or at least the mysterious ones. They are usually quite funny, with a sly and cynical sense of humor that does attract attention, but they are really not bothered if they get the attention or not, just as long as they are not being ridiculed or anyone is being judgemental about them or their family members.

6. Best way I know how to do this, is using humor... Trying to be too serious or intrusive will turn them against opening up.

7. Moon=mother... most emotional ties that exist in humans (i'm totally generalizing here) are with their mothers. Mothers are creators, givers of life, and the safe and secure blankie we all carried around as children. This bond is very hard to break for some Cancerians. Doing the same thing with their children is usually becuase they are extremely protective of their families.

8. Those crabs have hard shells... pretty hard to break through, and I'm pretty sure they don't realize at all that they are pre-emtively shut off or agro... it's just the way they are.

9. Worried? About what? Global warming? Terrorism? Their job interview? If everyone really likes them? What to make for dinner? How much it's going to cost to retile the roof? You'll probably never know what they're worried about... but don't worry, they'll get over it.

Anyways, that's just my little rant. Anyone else, feel free to tell me I'm talking nonesense, but those are my observations.

posted November 28, 2004 10:38 AM              

Regarding whether they say what they mean - I've come to the conclusion that either they don't, or their views change very rapidly. I'll cite the scenario of when I've been talking to Cancer friends, or my MIL, and they've been full of "oh, you're so wonderful" etc., etc., and the moment I have left the room, they've become incredibly vicious (Within my earshot - not a good idea!!!).
My MIL has showered me with gifts from time to time, to the extent where I've occasionally thought, probably she's not quite so bad after all, and made a genuine U-turn - and the moment I do that she comes out with backhanded compliments or peculiar little needling remarks, as if the fact that she's been supposedly "nice" to me by giving me something excuses her behaviour, or makes me indebted to her. I just don't understand it. Maybe this is a mother-in-law thing, though. My husband did live with her until he was 32, and I don't think she has ever got over his marrying me.
Mind you, men LOVE Cancerian women, I think it's because they love being fussed over and the Cancerian woman doesn't attempt to compete with them, so men see them as non-threatening = ego-boost for man.
It is far harder for Aries women to impress a man with our achievements (which is our preferred tack), but resorting to the Cancerian woman's tactics is absolutely not our style. We'd rather be dragged along by wild horses than play second fiddle. Aries and Cancer women, if both vying for the attentions of the same man, can become extremely jealous of each other.

posted November 28, 2004 09:21 PM            

my dad (cancer sun scorpio moon) is almost all the things you described above.

as for # 2

YES.YES.YES.
my dad spoiled me and my brother rotten. Toys, clothes, games, FOOD. the man loved to stuff us to the gills. If it was 11 at night and I was like "jeff (he was my step dad and I called him by his first name) could you make me something to eat?" he would stop whatever he was doing and make it for me. Every meal was an event. Christmas and birthdays were just massive affairs. I know this sounds kind of bad and I promise Im not a spoiled brat, he just really took care of us physically. Thats how he showed his affection.

I think that kind of goes along with #7. He did all those things because he liked feeling like my brother and I needed him. Really, I figured out by the time that I was 8 that all I needed to do was act helpless and he would come running and help me with everything he had. I think he enoyed it too, it was a control thing almost. "Without me they fall apart"

#3 & #8

dead on. If my dad got mad at us or felt like we meant to hurt his feelings he would go to pout mode in .0001 seconds. He would mope around the house for days and not tell us why he was upset. We would feel bad and would just shower him with attention and apologies and cuddle on him until he was convinced that yes, we really do love him and yes, we really do appriciate him.

#6

oh my gosh, yessss. Im sure it also had to do with his scorpio moon but getting my dad to talk or open up about something was like pulling teeth.

and has anyone else noticed how if you make a cancer mad they don't tell you and they keep it inside until a few days later and then they blow up about something completely unrelated and you are just left there confused.

oh! and a little disclaimer. I really do love my dad (even though it may not seem like it from this little entry lol) He really loves me and I don't think I'll find anyone who ever took as good of care of me as he did. The biggest problem is we are both SUPER emotional. If we were are on the same side we were unstoppable, but when we were on opposite sides of something everyone else in the house knew to watch out.

Also ... I think my little aries spirit didn't always take a liking to my dads super motherly ways. but over all, he was a good dad.

posted November 29, 2004 11:48 AM              

1.Do they ever mean what they say?
I believe they do. My dad is very honest.. sometimes even when you don't really want him to be.

2.Why do they try to buy people's affection by showering them with gifts?
I don't know if this is a Cancer trait, but I didn't experience it with my dad.

3.Why do they LOVE claiming "Full Victim/Martyr status" and try to make other people feel guilty through emotional manipulation?
Boy oh boy... I have seen this in my dad. I don't know why... but, yeah.... He does find some kind of satisfaction from being the victim/martyr from his marriage to my mother. I think it has something to do with the fact that they are not aggressive people. They're not going to come right out and say something like, "You're a real A-hole!", they're going to find a more passive route of getting that point across... and it comes out as emotional manipulation. Plus, I think they're so in-tune with feelings, they have a really good grasp on how they work and how to ignite them in others.

4.Why are their actions frequently not very well thought out?
... because they're FEELERS not THINKERS.

5. I dunno about that one

6.How is it that you can't get more than 2 words out of a Cancerian man?
Ask him how he feels about any given subject.

7.Why are they so attached to their mothers, and why do they in turn try to make their children dependent on them?
My dad's really close to his mother. I guess you could call him a mama's boy. I don't know why this is... but it IS. I don't see him trying to make us kids dependent on our mom though... He sorta does make my little brother and sister dependent on him, though.

8.Why do they resort to passive-aggressive behavior?
They're not aggressive people by nature. They're not physical fighters. They are not going to haul off and punch anyone. Instead, they do what they know best... provoke feelings in others. They know all about feelings.

posted November 29, 2004 12:29 PM              

i think it is becos we are complete opposites in the basic things..

lets see if i can shed some light...

1.Do they ever mean what they say?
i always mean what I say but it comes out different becos I am conscious of trying to be tactful...when i am straight to the point, i am apparently harsh...so whatever...aries just say and their actions reflect their words

2.Why do they try to buy people's affection by showering them with gifts?

i love giving my friends things and i never expect anything back....i just love people getting nice things. thats why i work in retail cos i love the whole customer service thing and for shoppers to get a wicked shopping experience...

3.Why do they LOVE claiming "Full Victim/Martyr status" and try to make other people feel guilty through emotional manipulation?

i personally think people do this just to make things easy for themselves....it may be a stereotypical cancerian thing, i cant relate to it....but i know a few people who do this...taurus (mum), sag (friend)
its when you feel you give too much and are not getting anything back...but you should communicate how you feel about that...and ideally, not do things to get something in return

4.Why are their actions frequently not very well thought out?

this is sooo me....i am know for changing my mind everyday...most cancers i know are...its the moon, man...the ever-changing tides..i always think what would be better for the day...and to be honest it is boring having to sit and work things out...cos you never know unless you try...
my gem friends says its the ultimate in humanity cos the truth changes everyday
having in mars in libra doesnt help

5.How on earth do they manage to make themselves the most popular person.....

i was never really popular...or maybe I was...but i was definitely always considered abstract and rather illogical...i dunno maybe this is true of the woman in your office but people would comment that I was too easy to talk to...they would confide everything to me...i think its cos I never balk at anything or consider anything strange...whatever, man

6.How is it that you can't get more than 2 words out of a Cancerian man?

it must be extremely difficult to be a cancer man...it is such a feminine receptive sign that it contradicts the basic male characteristics...cancerian men just keep schtum cos its easy than communicating their feelings which they think might be too full on for most. but when they find someone who they can communicate to, they do.
its true, insofar as i know that most sensitive guys are like this. they listen a heck of a lot than they talk.
its also an insecurity thing.
all the cancer men I know are sensitive...crybabies who really love their mum

7.Why are they so attached to their mothers, and why do they in turn try to make their children dependent on them?

we like to feel needed. i guess becos we are instrinsically insecure..so to feel needed means people will keep us in their lives...

8.Why do they resort to passive-aggressive behaviour?

its becos we just cant communicate without sounding too harsh or too unsure...so it better to keep schtum
and we often think our needs should be understood without us having to saying anything

9.Why do they always look so worried?

we ususally worry a lot and we have really expressive faces...

all in all, cancer is a really sensitive sign. this as well as been intuitive and not really been able to express our feelings in words, logically, just makes for a hell of a lot of emotional rollacoster.....

i often see things in people and I just wanna let them know it.

if we just had the ability to let things go and let people be, then I personally think we would be a hell of a lot more centered...

posted December 01, 2004 08:48 AM              

Honestly if i don't say anything they will get mad.

If i do tell them somethings wrong, they get to the point where they have to much emotion that they brake down.

posted December 01, 2004 10:52 AM              

He was well cared for, but even his Dad'll say that perhaps he was too well cared for. And (I've said it before and I'll say it again): I think that Jase's Dad is the best grandmother I've ever seen. I'm wary of the day that he and my mother (a Pisces w/ a Cancer Asc) get together in the same room with my daughter - I fist fight over who'll get to hold her'll break out.

posted December 01, 2004 04:40 PM              

1.Do they ever mean what they say?
I think so, they can be very blunt. I've heard this statement over and over again from Cancers ONLY "People are stupid". I think it just proves they have issues, not other people.

2.Why do they try to buy people's affection by showering them with gifts?
They need acceptance and they think they can buy it. They are very needy emotionally.

3.Why do they LOVE claiming "Full Victim/Martyr status" and try to make other people feel guilty through emotional manipulation?
This is my MIL in a nutshell. She is always the victim, need everybody's help etc. I just thinks she's lazy. She's a taker, not a giver - because after all her life has been so hard that now everybody needs to stop and do whatever she desires. Very selfish if you ask me.

4.Why are their actions frequently not very well thought out?
Dunno, a lot of things they do don't make sense but that can be said about anybody, no?

5.How on earth do they manage to make themselves the most popular person in the office simply by making cups of tea for everybody - regardless of their abilities as an employee?
Because they make sure everyone is well informed of their good deeds (kind of connected to the martyr issue).

7.Why are they so attached to their mothers, and why do they in turn try to make their children dependent on them?
My MIL is still mad I took her son from her. I just think it's being emotionally immature and again feeling like a victim, need anyone beside in case she needs help.

8.Why do they resort to passive-aggressive behaviour?
9.Why do they always look so worried?
They are control freaks and constant worriers, at the same time very negative people. Don't want to even get into this one.

Geeeesh, I really don't like my MIL. Mainly because she's not a good person but acts like she's a saint with her playing victim games. She even throws a compliment her way once in a while (I guess 'cause noone else will). How pathetic. I thought at first it was just me not liking her but my husband's entire family dislikes her. The woman has ZERO friends. This, again, because others should do things for her, never the other way around.

posted May 25, 2015 12:59 PM            

1.Do they ever mean what they say?
Yep, always in my case, but I personally doubt myself a lot, so while I tend to mean what I say, I'm never sure if I really mean what I mean.

2.Why do they try to buy people's affection by showering them with gifts?
I do this a lot, mostly because I feel things pretty strongly but am very bad at expressing myself. If I like you, I could either buy you a present or embarrass us both/possibly make you think that I fancy you/cry whilst trying to just tell you so.

3.Why do they LOVE claiming "Full Victim/Martyr status" and try to make other people feel guilty through emotional manipulation?
I hope I'm growing out of this and I have made a point of Not Doing it, but sometimes I'm not sure that I mind something (and reckon that I can man up and get over it) until something else happens and then it turns out that I do. A lot.

4.Why are their actions frequently not very well thought out?
No idea. If there's a solution, please let me know and I will pay you money for it. But I change my mind a lot about things.

5.How on earth do they manage to make themselves the most popular person in the office simply by making cups of tea for everybody - regardless of their abilities as an employee?
See number 2. It's my way of wagging my tail at you, in the absence of a tail. No idea why people like them for it, but then pretty much everyone likes tea.

6.How is it that you can't get more than 2 words out of a Cancerian man?
Really? They always talk to me.

7.Why are they so attached to their mothers, and why do they in turn try to make their children dependent on them?
Fourth-house thing, I suppose.

8.Why do they resort to passive-aggressive behaviour?
I HATE this - I really do try not to. Bad at expressing emotions (again), doubt validity of own responses (again), I guess.

9.Why do they always look so worried?
All those Arieses glaring at us with bile in their eyes.