posted January 04, 2005 07:55 AM              

I have Scorpio Ascending. I don't get accused, so much, for the ' Soul Mate ' yearnings. Maybe, it's a bit different, because I was drawn to him at an odd point in life, I believe for many reasons, that he IS my Soul. However, I do get the ' potential cheater ' label, a lot! I, absolutely, HATE that!!! That is not even thinkable, for me. It, actually does, make me ill. I think that has to do with other things concerning the egos though. I am a Gemini Sun but, I tend to think we get a bad rap in this department. My venus is in Taurus and, the 7th..... I'm fixed! Just need to keep on drilling, in the hopes of breaking through! Good thread!

posted January 04, 2005 02:52 PM              

It may be aggravated even more by my Libra Sun (indecision), and/or, 3 Planets in Scorpio (Mercury, Mars, Neptune) in my 6th House (meticulous search for truth). Combined with the dreamy Neptune influences I have, could explain why I'll probably die a spinster.

Well - I'm exaggerating there -

Maybe -

But it's not that I didn't like or love the person I was with, but that I just felt like such a "babe in the woods" in a sort of "Alice in Wonderland" way, I was never quite sure if the one I was with was a figment of my imagination, or THE ONE as in SET IN STONE.

Aren't we all always wondering that to an extent? It is rare when two people find each other and are 100% SURE they are the ones for each other for ever and ever, or to bring it down to reality, year after year.

For me, it was NEVER a matter of who had "more to offer" - but instead, COMPLETELY a matter of karma and fate. The true soul union meant to be.

My great fears about marriage also include the fear of marrying "the wrong one" and then meeting "the right one" after I'd married.

But as I get older, I realize we are all just doing the best we can with the information and experiences we've had - AND - how important it is to completely cherish the one you are with, and remain devoted even if there is someone who may SEEM more like "the one". But I mean, this is only theory as well. Who knows what the avalanche of love and passion can cause, such as Jerry Seinfeld's wife, having just married someone else, then divorced suddenly to be with Jerry. I've never been in that situation, but I'm OK with being true to someone I've been with and love, as to me, it's the same as being true to and loving myself. Maybe the girl was marrying the other guy for "questionable reasons" in the first place ...

I've NEVER been a "cheater" type person, nor would I even consider busting in on ANY relationship which was already serious and ongoing.

But I suspect all the confusion has to do with things in my combined Natal Virgo/4th House, and the quest for the meticulous unveiling of the truth in all things with my combined Natal Pluto/6th House influences. I think all this easily overpowers any mush my Moon in Cancer may gravitate towards, and it even becomes a matter of propriety, respect and decency with my Natal Saturn & Jupiter in Capricorn.

Did anyone get any of that? Hope it helped, although perhaps a tinge longwinded.

posted January 04, 2005 03:38 PM              

indecision causes a lot of emotions,

living with someone, or spending a lot of time with that person, and letting yourself be vulnerable and openw ith your fears will stop the idealization. If you idealize, it's best to open up first, then you force the other to open up too. The bond is more emotional than physical.

For some reason we are taught not to be vulnerable so it's easy to confuse strength with perfection.

posted January 05, 2005 06:38 AM              

There are such impossible standards of idealized perfection in this world, that we are hard on ourselves, and that guilt gets transferred to the ones we love.

I never felt like a good enough wife, and so I kept looking for someone to accept me as is, eventually I will have to feel complete through someone else but he will have to see me for who I really am. That depends on being happy with that and I am always trying.

Incomplete, looking for a transformation through relationships, very 8th house,
Mine is pretty insecure, in Cancer

posted January 05, 2005 07:35 AM              

I was with my ex-husband for 12 years before I agreed to marry him. I hesitated because I wasn't sure if he was the one. Seven years, and two children later, I realised he wasn't and separated. I have been single for almost four years and have dated 12 men in that time.

Numbers 1-10 were nothing special. Some of them I only went on one date with. My friends tell me I'm too picky. Number 11 (I met him in September 2004) was a soul mate. I never knew I could feel that way about anybody. Unfortunately, things didn't work out. Number 12 is a really, really nice guy but I don't feel a spark with him. My head tells me I should (because if I was to list all of the qualities I wanted in a man - he'd probably fit most of them). But my heart is not leaping.

I can't help but think that I'm looking for that soul mate feeling. It's like I've been spoilt and I wonder whether anybody will ever be enough. It doesn't mean I've put my life on hold. I think I'm still open. But I really don't know for sure.