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Author Topic:   i don't know what to say...
Archer
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posted January 25, 2005 07:02 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
---no 'attention' required, please continue surfing.---

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aries-chick
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posted January 25, 2005 08:30 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
and the soap opera continues..

Archer , honestly mate have a bit of character and stop doing this ..its wrong - plain and simple - W R O N G

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GingerB
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posted January 25, 2005 08:47 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I have to echo aries-chick, here...

Archer, from what you just told us she said to you, sounds to me like she's sucking the life out of you.

This is gonna turn into something very nasty, and hurtful if you keep this up.

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Yin
Knowflake

Posts: 1951
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted January 25, 2005 10:10 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Yin     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm speechless!

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maya-v
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posted January 25, 2005 12:34 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hey Archer, you've got a live one here!!!Well, I should be the last one to advise you on this one but have you ever considered why you are in such a destructive position? My archer was younger than me and we were totally unsuitable for each other except I believed him when he said he was mature enough. I later discovered that I was just a means for him to hide from the reality and facing real life. He could be safe in a relationship with me, knowing it might not go anywhere and there might not be a future. But the moment he had to face up to responsibility, he ran!

I am not saying you're him or your situations are even alike but think abt it - whats stopping you from actually going out and finding someone to date? I know the rules are different back home and the soceity is not that evolved but still - rather than taking a nose-dive with something that can only bring you grief - why not go out there in the real world and just try to make some friends first? Believe me, there are girls who are looking for nice, intelligent guys to be just their friends and help each other go through life.

And as far the sex goes, trust me thats just an excuse. I am not all romantic and all (ok maybe a little bit) but dont you think when it does happen, it should be with the right person who you care abt and who cares abt you too?

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Rizzo
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posted January 25, 2005 02:12 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Why are you otherwise intelligent people coddling this boy? He is either telling the truth, in which case he is A) NUTS or B) one of those any-ol'-port-in-a-storm Sadges (neither of which WE can do anything about), or he is lying and posting this garbage for the endless attention he's been quite successful in attracting. Neither scenario is worth anyone's time. I'm tired of reading about it, myself.

"before i sink i need help."

FINE. GET HELP.

*end rant*

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Atlantic Myst
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posted January 25, 2005 02:50 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
That is disgusting

------------------
~*~ Cusp: Gemini/Cancer, Cancer rising, Taurus moon ~*~


Let's go...

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The Mutable Night Force
Knowflake

Posts: 122
From: England
Registered: Oct 2009

posted January 25, 2005 03:06 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for The Mutable Night Force     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I don't think he's lying but that's just gullible ol' me. It is kind of far fetched but still, guessing it's true, I'd say, (actually I was gonna answer earlier today but was at school and they have strong bloody sensors on them school computers)-
Your aunt doesn't sound very nice, I mean, you're younger, but she's older should kind of know better, the more important question is
a) why is she cheating on her husband?
b).. with his nephew???!
Sounds kinda WRONG to me! lol. I mean, couldn't you have sex with someone that wasn't your aunt til you found a girl? But seriously- 'to help a depressive' like you?? Ha! That's rich. Really, she should know better.

Sorry if I got hold of the wrong end of the stick. (misunderstood).

~D~

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neptune's mermaid
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posted January 25, 2005 03:18 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
OMG!!! I thought you were talking about your REAL aunt, you know, blood relative.

I sympathise with you, but that's just who I am. I think I remember you once posting something like this, I'll go read that.

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neptune's mermaid
unregistered
posted January 25, 2005 06:51 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Even after my long break I'm still partially blind. LOL

That was a waste of time, good thing I don't have to go to uni tomorrow!!!

Archer, I don't know what to say. I think it's because I can't remember the subject after reading that last thread!! or shall I call it a marathon.

But really, I don't know what to say. I wish I could make you feel better by saying it's OK but I can't. My minds blank, I'm sure someone else can help. I have to go rest my eyes now.lol


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angel_of_hope
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posted January 25, 2005 08:17 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
after a brief conversation with my aunt where i told her she or i were not at fault at having sex

Sorry to burst ur bubble, but, um ... yes u are. Both of u are. This isnt something u can blame on your "stars/plantets" the signs may affect your reasoning and ability to say "No" at times. But your "passion" to sleep w/ur aunt is decided by u and only u. Its a matter of free will my friend. You can change what is given to you or offered. You have the right and only you. This case to me is nothing other than tresspassing on your Uncles Land. And that goes against ALL morals. How would ur uncle (ur blood) feel if he knew? How would he feel against you let alone her? Her comment to you is the most frightening part of it all... to help a depressive such as urself!!!! how do you help someone when u do wrong. Shes taking advantage of your situation. And shes satisfied with her husband!?!?! honestly i think she is unhappy with him or she would not be seeking elsewhere! u c ?
I dunno in my opinion you either need to stay away from her, and I know thats hard because of your uncle. But go see ur uncle be with him and only him (even if shes in the room) just dont be ALONE with this woman - she'll get ya! ORRRRR, you need to upfront and honest with your uncle and fill him in on whats been bothering you.... u choose!
in response to her words to u:
"Just because others have decided what's best for you doesn't mean you are incapable of deciding for yourself." Anonymous

ang-

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future_uncertain
Knowflake

Posts: 193
From:
Registered: May 2009

posted January 26, 2005 12:22 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for future_uncertain     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I don't think Archer is lying either and I believe that rather than doing this merely to get attention, Archer is sincerely looking for help with this problem. (right Archer?) First, some questions: how long has this been going on? Is this a common thing in India? Is your aunt manipulating you? And what would your uncle and the rest of your family say/do if they found out?

I really hope you get the answers you need to solve this problem, Archer. It seems like it really bothers you but you don't know how to stop.

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Archer
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posted January 26, 2005 12:47 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
thankfully, thegoat is the only one of my personal friends who knows about my situation and also visits this forum. but offlate i remember suggesting some of my building guys about this website and also told them i'm Archer here. but now i'm worried as to what if they find this out. but i don't think they take me that seriously to ever vist this forum. and besides after reading this... "and posting this garbage for the endless attention he's been quite successful in attracting"... i have come to terms with reality. why should i bother anyone with my problems. at the most i should write is that i had a problem and not what it was. u see after all no one likes someone 'trying to attract attention'.

so from now on its me and my problems and the grim reality.

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was weird purple sparkles
unregistered
posted January 26, 2005 04:13 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
*THIS IS ONCE I HAD A CAT*
just waiting for my account to be activated.

my thoughts on this are that if your are truely seeking the help and guidance from the people on this messageboard that you seem to be, then i see no reason as to not state what problem(s) you need help with.

so mr. archer you shouldn't have to fear being made fun of and people saying that you just want attention when you so clearly are just asking for help.

i would have to agree with the people saying that you need to be honest with all parties involved. all three of you need to sit down and talk it out.

that or you might want to join some sort of social scene with people your own age and that way you may be able meet some new women.

but first you must look inside yourself to see what is truely upseting you.

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Archer
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posted January 26, 2005 08:13 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
"but first you must look inside yourself to see what is truely upseting you."

4 years, i still can't figure it out. it ruined my 12th grade, my engineering and now my life.

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The Mutable Night Force
Knowflake

Posts: 122
From: England
Registered: Oct 2009

posted January 26, 2005 09:13 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for The Mutable Night Force     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Wow, you're being more nihilistic than me.
I don't think those guys you know will come on here. They probably wouldn't care.

I hope things look up for you soon, although I've kinda never been in your situation before... but still...

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Archer
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posted January 26, 2005 10:57 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
now nihilistic has many meanings. which one goes for me?

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GingerB
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posted January 26, 2005 11:04 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm just curious...
Wouldn't this thread be more at home in the 'Free For All' area?
Rather than the 'Astrology' area...

and Archer, I've been being a very sweet understanding Pisces with this topic, but you need to get your act together, because patient does have a limit, and to tell you the truth, my Capricorn moon is about ready to tell you like it is, as well as a few predictions...

If your in love with this woman, that's one thing, but if your just 'screwing' your uncles wife, you need a good hard kick in the realization part of your life.

What goes around, does very well come around, and in a more powerful way!

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was weird purple sparkles
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posted January 26, 2005 11:49 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
this is was weird purple sparkles again..

that was my counterpart/soulmate/boyfriend. and i echo much of what said. but i also agree with gingerB..

having sex with someone who is cheating on their spouce is pretty.. well, wrong. being that you are also deceiving your uncle, well, that makes it that much worse. you really need a reality check. if you want out of the situation, then your subconscious will bring about some kind of way to stop the situation. i think now you have the choice to stop it yourself, before it becomes an all out explosion, with potentially severe consequences.

it's hard to tell, with your now (seeming!) self-pity and co-dependent responses, whether this is something you really want to change, or whether this gives you some kind of strange thrill (both sleeping with your aunt and posting about it here). i think people's strong reactions are necessary for you to hear, if you are serious about stopping this. it will help you to WAKE UP and take action. i do have sympathy for you; this must be such a strange and difficult situation for you. but you know in your soul that it isn't what you should be putting your energy into. so you know it is now time to call upon your dignity and become the man you want to be.

the people at linda land are some of the most generous and compassionate people in the world. i think once it becomes evident that this is a behaviour you are ready to throw off completely, you will find abundant support and kindness for you here. i hope with all my heart that this happens. you don't deserve the anguish you are now currently feeling. you deserve to feel good about yourself and your right actions.

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The Mutable Night Force
Knowflake

Posts: 122
From: England
Registered: Oct 2009

posted January 26, 2005 01:09 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for The Mutable Night Force     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Nihilistic as in depressed. As in a tad self- pitying as in looking on the downside of stuff.
Poor Archer.

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Sheaa Olein
unregistered
posted January 26, 2005 01:10 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I hope you get some clarity on this matter soon, Archer

------------------
~* "I believe in magic" *~ KF

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amisha121877
unregistered
posted January 26, 2005 01:25 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
HEY - THIS REALLY SUCKS - I had a great response but if you forget to fill out a part of the reply like your user name and stuff - it erases your whole reply?! that's not fair but let's see if i can type it up again.

ARCHER - I remember this story now. I am a female sag - I can say I believe your story because we seem to put ourself in these types of situations every now and then / all on the strength of touching. Listen - you pointing out all these negative consequences for being with auntie - you still want to have sex with auntie? are you serious? the only good thing is during sex, right? not even a second later - you are kicking yourself about it, right? you are not even completely satisfied, right? what's the point? You starting to realize that whenever she wants it, you give it but when you want it, it's not possible and you start realizing where she is and the reason why you can't have it when you want it - then you realize you are "alone" and she is probably sleeping next to uncle. then you get gassed until you can release it with her. That whole situation is not worth sharing one of your best qualities Archer. What "good" quality is auntie giving up to you? forget about the sex, it's irrelevant considering it's nothing but an extra for her while it's not what you would consider extra - but a display of yourself for the price of.......................you haven't come to the point that it's not worth it, huh? start getting to that point - why degrade yourself Archer.

I would suggest that you stop seeing this woman like that - she'll keep it going as long as it can go. you probably don't ask for nothing in return, which sends out a message to some connivers that everything is OK. stop with the body language/eye contact - either don't reveal your "horniness" to her and respond to her as a nephew does an aunt or find a way to express that sexual side of you - even if you have to do it alone, you dig? those are usually better than wasteful situations like you and your aunt goes. it feels better, more satisfying - start reviewing your worth of self again Archer. As a matter of fact, take a break from seeing auntie at all, just for a couple of months (maybe more) until you finally realize that being with auntie that way was a distant memory that you are glad is over and have no problem avoiding like that plague. You'll start seeing great opportunities for you coming into view because I know the guilt, confusion, and self-pity are consuming you right now. Hope you are not still stuck in that mentality I had for years - you know the one, somebody gotta be the winner, somebody gotta be the loser. You start backpedaling and planning/protecting self accordingly. Forget about it. You become vulnerable and because of that, you end up being the loser because you are blind to any type of relationship entering your life.

as for your uncle - sags can usually get away with being distant with others so that we can get outselves back on track. i feel bad about your relationship to uncle, especially if you two were close. try to refrain from seeing him too until you can stop saying that this relationship ruined your life. sure, it'll be a while before you can stop cringing from the visuals your memory may crop up from time to time, this is why I am suggesting you take a leave of absence from both your aunt and your uncle.

best of luck - the future will be brighter, believe me - ONCE you get out of this relationship that grew legs of its own. btw- how does this relationship shape your view of what a partnership is now - has it created doubts of what a partnership is like? are you trying to build up walls within yourself and outside of yourself - according to all of this? GREAT - now let it go.

p.s. you don't have to feel obligated to tell anyone else, i think it should be enough that you are telling people here and wherever else - besides, since when do we actually rely 100% on someone else's suggestions and not only that, people in close quarters with us sometimes see us as victors of any type of situation, so, i don't know how far they could take you with all of that - especially in your current state of mind, you may start feeling like your problems are not as big as you thought and then you'll continue degrading yourself accordingly. trust your instincts. I don't mind speaking about this situation - I have my own skeletons in the closet regarding "free-dumb" sex too so I can "relate".

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was weird purple sparkles
unregistered
posted January 26, 2005 01:50 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
i also agree that talking to anyone else about this could bring about ugly consequences that may not help you. is your uncle a potentially violent man, for example? if so, i don't know that it would be worth it. sounds like something your aunt may need to discuss with him, but that is not something you can control. and in such a case, it would be best if it is behind you and you have more perspective on it, in case of confrontation.

take care of yourself.

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Archer
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posted January 26, 2005 11:36 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
"the only good thing is during sex, right? not even a second later"
no not even a second later. i feel aweful after sex.

"you are not even completely satisfied, right? what's the point? You starting to realize that whenever she wants it, you give it but when you want it, it's not possible and you start realizing where she is and the reason why you can't have it when you want it -"
it has only happened twice. once 3 years back and second time 2 days back.
"why degrade yourself Archer. "
thats true thats very true. i thought of the wor decay for myself.

THE WORST THING IS it all happened so casually the second time that i don't know how to take back the cards i threw.

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Rizzo
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posted January 27, 2005 12:59 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Edited.

Whatever.

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