posted February 04, 2005 12:22 AM              

Nothing i say can create any changes. According to him "school is a waste of time." You try telling him something and he'll say "[No] cause my venus is in..." or some other total bullcrap.

I'm really tired of telling him to straighten up. The number of times he's slept with his aunt is probably more than the classes he's passed in the last semester.

posted February 04, 2005 01:14 AM              

Archer you know how things stand for you its your life and at the end of the day you should do what you think is best

posted February 04, 2005 01:28 AM              

I have also been victim before of similar "fatal attractions" Could almost be looked at as an addiction! (seriously wonder if there's not some old karma floating around there that needs to be resolved?) You always wonder why people in such otherwise satisfying relationships tend to risk all for close family members? Past life connections playing themselves out?

If this was something that you took lightly Archer, I don't think you'd be writing to us for help.

Won't get into the culture arguement, but I'm sure it's quite repressive and it's not for us to say what life is really like for you there.

posted February 04, 2005 10:11 AM              

Archer does want to get better, but can't seem to muster the psychological strength- The Goat is frustrated that Archer can't throw off his depression and move forward, and feels Archer's not really trying.

We can't really judge what life looks like through Archer's eyes, or how thick the darkness of the cloud which surrounds him.

I'll light a candle for you Archer, to help you beat back those inner demons.

And you Goat, I wouldn't want to be in your situation either. You already know there's really nothing you can do. Archer has to do this alone. That must be hard for you to take, because you're a friend who desperatly wants to help.

I know he annoys you with his insults Archer, but he has love for you in his heart. Behind his anger is pain, and behind his pain is his helplessness at not being able to save you.

Know this- it will not always be this way. Because it can't. All things change eventually. I can't tell you if it will be better or worse, but I know it won't stay the way it is forever.

posted February 04, 2005 11:04 AM              

Archer, astrology is not the know all and end all of things. If astrology is all you do and if your astrological chart is what you tout as an excuse for everything, then even if nobody else will say it, I will- astology is a TOTAL waste of time! Please try to live in the real world. People use astrology as a tool to help their lives . When astrology takes over and becomes an obsession, it is absolutely useless. So, bear that in mind and well, get on with your life.
An interesting and informative book for you to read would perhaps be 'Autobiography of a Yogi' by Paramahansa Yogananda. In it, he talks about astrology, and while he agrees with his guru that astrology can point out trends in life, it does not dictate the events of your life. You can change your 'fate' as it were, simply through force of will. That being said, if you're leaving it all to astrology to shape you into what you're going to be in life, please, think again.
I am sorry to hear about your depression and I hope that you get better soon. Remember, you hold the key to all change. Just focus your energies on what you want to achieve.

Goat, I don't know how your relationship with Archer is in (real) life, but on here, some of the things you say to him are... well... mean . I don't know if this is friendly banter between the two of you (as it is between some friends), but if not, maybe you shouldn't direct such anger towards him. It's not likely to help him in any way.
Ok that's all I got. I'll stop preaching now.

posted February 05, 2005 03:28 PM              

Oh *******! His anger is pain? Spare me - his anger is *venom.*

Seriouly, Leyla - I'm sure you're sincere, but you are sincerely misguided if you think that abusiveness it a genuine sign of love. Abusiveness is NEVER an act of love - be it verbally, emotionally, or physically. It is always an violation of the person's inherent dignity - NEVER EVER LOVE.

And people who are truly frustrated over not being able to help someone they genuinely care about don't resort to degrading insults and public shaming and ostracizing. Yes that is a sign of feeling powerless - not out of genuine compassion, for out of nearsighted selfishness. It the sign for feeling powerless to control someone and make them into what you want and not necessarily what and who they need to be.

There is nothing kind, thoughtful or sympathetic about calling someone a "loser." It's just a cheap, vicious, below the belt remark (and it's a particularly hurtful insult when you consider Archer's cultural background). What more do you need to see that Goat has a callous heart and *serious* control issues??? I doubt Goat has anyone's better interest at heart, only the aim to prove he's right and his "opponent" is wrong by whatever means necessary, even when that means kicking someone when they're down. That's sadly typically goatish - he's the one that needs to be slapped.

posted February 05, 2005 04:04 PM              

Good to see ya!

I would just like to say that I totally understand what you are saying. In fact I would be 100% in agreement with you if I just walked in and read all of this.

However, please understand that these two are best friends, their families are close and this is the chemistry between them, this is the way they often treat each other.

posted February 05, 2005 04:10 PM              

But I'd have to remind some of yall that archer and goat know each other for longer and goat wants to get him out of his situation. Sometimes us mutables need a kick in the rear to get out of our delusions hehehe. But of course we prefer that its a gentle kick in the rear...goat I would suggest that you talk to Archer about this in your personal time instead of on a forum like this where it might embarrass him and jeopardize the closeness factor of your friendship.

Good luck to both of you--and good job, too; Archer-for handling criticism so well and accepting your fault, and goat-for your good intentions, though like I said, I don't think this is the proper medium.

Archer I really do hope you get out of this destructive cycle...because I was in one too and jus gettin out of it and it can be exceedingly difficult. (I don't think you could say that I was commitin incest thank god but more I had a relationship with a married man?) That isn't good either. Well anyhow, trying my hardest to break it off, we havent talked in like 3 weeks now, and its very painful but still nonetheless I keep reminding myself, gotta get that steel discipline....

posted February 05, 2005 04:53 PM            

What's good for the goose is surely good for the gander, but, has it ever occured to the rest of the flock, that perhaps you're not an ugly duckling at all?

Don't listen to them.
Listen to your heart.
Follow your own path.
It was not meant for them,
and they are right not to take it.
But they dont know whats right for you.
Only you can be the judge of that.
You are an archer, right?
So, follow the destiny prepared for YOU from the beginning of the world.
You dont waddle like a duck,
You dont quack like a duck,
Maybe youre not a duck.
Maybe you're really a swan.

posted February 06, 2005 01:11 AM              

Yes, I agree what he said was mean. But he really believes he's helping. If he didn't care about him he wouldn't have bothered.

posted February 06, 2005 01:51 AM              

I knew a guy who had a full four years of college paid for by his father. He'd skip classes, show up late, leave early, ignore his homework and flunk out.

His mother and big sister continued to coddle and pamper him, and protect him from his "mean ol' dad" who wanted to crack down and insist his son take some responsibility.

Dad gave up trying his "tough love" and just let mom and big sister handle their "golden boy" whom they showered constantly with unearned praise.

(I swear, he could scratch his ass and they'd burst into applause.)

So he played video games and got stoned all day, seldom moving off the couch.

Result: He never graduated, hasn't held a job in seven years, and mooches money off his girlfriends. When a girl gets wise and dumps him, he simply goes and gets another one to pay his way.

Only recently he started taking a few classes- showing up, and even getting A's.

The reason, you ask? Some guy friends he admired stopped talking to him, and were always "busy" when he wanted to hang out. When he asked them why they said "Sorry dude, but we think you're a loser."

(They were becoming successful in their lives and leaving him behind.)

posted February 06, 2005 09:35 PM              

i'll be out of it man, i'lll be out of it...