posted April 04, 2005 01:34 PM              

I don't know what to do about my boyfriend? We been going out for about a year and a half. At christmas he met up with his ex-girlfriend. He rang me while he was out with her, to say they were meeting to catch up, so they were obviously in contact, but he didn't mention it. I met him afterwards and he was fairly drunk and in great form. He never introduced us as we ended up having to go somewhere later that night. (but i don't think he planned it anyway.

But all of that was fine with me, but he started talking aboout going over to her for a holiday, with me going too. I didn't really respond, hoping that he would just think about it but never happen. But he has mentioned it a couple of times.

But today he rang me up at work and mentioned it again. I really don't want to be unreasonable but I really don't want to. None of my friend's boyfriends suggest visiting their ex's. I never met her, but he did tell me that they used to play mind gaomes with each other.., And she broke up with him.

I haven't said anything yet, but if he brings it up again, what should I say? Am I being Unreasonable, but I guess I just don't want to!

posted April 04, 2005 01:59 PM              

In my opinion, you are not being unreasonable at all. If there's no reason for someone breaking up, then they would be together. There's a reason he is insisting on this and I suspect that it's to play mind games with you! Maybe he's trying to get together with her again and he thinks he can intimidate her into whatever it is with your presence. Or, he may be doing the same thing with you. Or, he may think that he's going to start a threesome.

Anyway, it seems to me that this is a very unnatural situation, and you are perfectly right in believing that something's wrong.

posted April 04, 2005 08:09 PM              

I think there's something weaselly going on with your situation - you dated him for this long, yet now he's giving you lttle clues here and there that he's been in contact with this other person. And he doesn't seem to be that forthcoming as to what's really going on. It's like he's testing to see how much he can get away with before you get mad. But definitely there's something he's hiding, or trying to avoid, like you figuring out what he's really up to. I would be concerned that after dating you for this long while keeping this hidden from you, that now he feels he has you figured out so he can get away with this nonsense in broad daylight.

I don't think you're being petty or jealous - it's not really about the other woman. It's his very questionable behavior that raises the red flags, and after dating a guy for over a year, you deserve more honesty and respect from him. Good men don't play games, but weasels do. If he's a weasel...and there seems little evidence that he's *not*...then he needs to go. Don't argue with him, don't listen to his excuses, don't give him a second chance. Just give him the boot and go get yourself a decent man who'll respect you.

posted April 08, 2005 11:22 AM              

Do you have a Sun in an Air sign and a Moon in a Water? Or the other way around?

posted April 10, 2005 05:08 PM              

I am a Taurean girl, I think my moon sign is in aries?

And my boyfriend is a Gemini (help!) and I think his moon is in Cancer.

posted April 13, 2005 02:36 PM              

I don't know our birth times, and I thought your moon sign was depended on that..

But, I'm pretty sure that they are correct:
Taurean girl; moon in aries
Gemini male; moon in cancer

Thanks again xx

posted April 18, 2005 11:01 AM              

Hope things have been going OK.

You are extremely straight forward, unless you have one of the quieter, subtle Mercury's or Mars. And if one of those is Retrograde in your Natal, you may have a little more challenge getting your point across. It's not like you don't already know what's wrong or right. But you just can't get the inside of you in synch with the outside world.

Or else - why the hesitation no matter what you decide?

You got some really great opinions here. I agree with everything said, and it's interesting that lalalinda even goes out on the limb, suggesting to go and have a good time.

It's really difficult to know for sure how any of us would react in this situation, but just from what I gather so far - if this were to happen to me - I'd think one of two things as well (as cajunpeanuts was saying, I think) - either she's somehow managed to keep her grungy puppeteer hands on him, or they are thinking of a threesome.

The answer here would be, are you the "threesome" type?

But like I said, you are the more direct one of the two of you, as a Gemini with Cancer Moon (in my opinion) is one of the most difficult mix of energies to juggle. And I mean that for the Gemini themself as well. It takes them a few decades of trial and error before they really start to get anything right in the "romance" department.

posted April 18, 2005 11:21 AM              

But I just want to say that just because a guy is still in contact or friends with his ex doesnt mean that he wants to sleep with her. My fiance is still friends with one of his ex's and the godfather of her daughter. And personally, the fact that he wants you to come with to see her tells me that he either is not sleeping w/her (or else he would be trying to hide her from you) or that he wants a threeway.

posted April 18, 2005 04:13 PM              

Here it is:
If I am no longer with someone, there is a reason. If I really liked my ex and we had a great friendship, I wouldn't hide it from whoever I was currently involved with. And actually, I probably would suggest getting together as well! (And no, not for a threesome-hee,hee). Only for the mere fact of integrating two people I care about. Totally innocent and meaning nothing more.

My question to you is this-How strong is your relationship with him? Maybe seeing the two of them and how they inter-act will be helpful in dissecting your feelings. Maybe there really isn't anything up at all...just introducing the two of you gals. Sometimes I feel that people are too untrusting...why does there have to be a negative outlook??

Instead, feel good about who you are and your relationship...if you do, then there should not be major issues. Don't make it one if there isn't really one in the first place.

Be a little more mature and evolved than the average person. (And no, I am not saying the other's replies were off target either-I am just trying to give a different perspective for all to consider). It is so hard to ask a general question and get a true answer because we do not know the dynamics of you and your boyfriend. He is social and caring and I truly feel that he is not intentionally suggesting this to hurt you or hide anything from you. It isn't meant to be taken that way. Certainly communicate your feelings...we Cancer Moons lovvvve that! Then we can be empathetic and understand where your mind is...

All this being said...as a Gem Sun and Cancer Moon...no worries if your relationship is on solid ground. Only you can truly answer that from inside your heart!

Hugs-

GemStar

posted April 20, 2005 09:45 PM              

Maybe your b/f is trying to drum up the passion, as if he doesn't know what you are capable of? sometimes an air sign likes to manage the emotion, turn it off and on.

You wouldn't understand because you don't test. I would go with him, to show support, or else he may feel secretly that you don't love him enough and start to doubt. Geminis and Cancer moons both doubt a lot and need reassurance. If you let him go once he's going to want to go all the time and then later it's hard to join in.

That's what I would do, and sometimes people have two sides, one is open and easygoing and the other is secretly insecure and intense.

That's my advice, as veteran of gemini b/f's.